《Serum》C155 - Vulnerable
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Dirk and his mother were silent as both had their own complex thoughts.
He thought back to his youth.
There had been a lapse in consciousness after Dirk went through the portal. Still, he and Pandora assumed that they hadn’t been reborn much longer after they ‘died’. After all, Earth had yet to develop their dimensional technology again and come through.
So his younger days were filled with thoughts of how he would live his new life according to what he hated about his old life.
He surely didn’t think that anything like getting kidnapped by Asura would happen, so his mind was filled with notions of a simpler life filled with far less conflict than his past.
It was why he was so devastated when those hopes had been shattered.
Part of Dirk didn’t want to fight. Well, that was probably a part of everyone. Either way, he wouldn’t mind not aggravating the high powers of this world and attracting unfathomably deadly individuals and scenarios toward him.
But he had decided back then within that mountain that he wouldn’t settle for anything less than the topmost echelon of power. He would become a god amongst men just like the kings and emperors of this world, or die trying.
This resolution was also why he had a hard time accepting what Asura did to him. He didn’t want to have to travel down that path, but he was forced.
Only absolution was able to get Dirk out of that living hell. Half-assed goals would only result in his demise. And not long after that, he was roped into global catastrophe alongside Pandora. So it seemed everything was going according to plan.
But within his father’s study, surrounded by dusty books and memories of a childhood much brighter than his old one, he found himself just slightly regretful.
He longed for a life he would never have, and yet accepted the fact that he would never have it.
The feeling of having to do such a thing wasn’t much different from feeling sick after taking a few sips of alcohol.
‘I’m tired.’
Dirk thought that while letting out a slow breath. But he still brought up one more topic.
“By the way.”
His voice caused Cecilia to snap out of her own ponder.
“We plan on requisitioning an airship. It was the main reason we came back here. We need a mode of transport faster than a car.”
“Oh? That’s rather bold. Not to say that you shouldn’t give it a try.”
Cecilia smiled a bit, crossing her legs in thought.
“After the war started, the Emperor suddenly introduced dozens of airships and created an aerial armada. They’ve been instrumental in moving massive amounts of people and cargo where our teleporters can’t reach. Anyway, you aren’t getting your hands on any of the standard airships since those are all either being used or are stationed in a fort for maintenance. But I can point you to a production facility. I would say that’s easier to steal from than a fort, especially since nobody knows about it.”
“Well, it would help us a lot.”
“Sure. But I won’t help you directly. Take it as a challenge. I want to see you take one by yourselves.”
She smiled brightly, as if she wasn’t technically committing treason by doing what she was.
And Dirk smiled with her, his spirits brightening a bit.
“Alright then. I’m going to bed.”
“Sure. Sleep as much as you want. Tomorrow we can visit the others on the front lines. Last I heard, Alec is out there as well.”
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“Oh. That’ll be fun.”
Dirk thought about his one friend while leaving the study. Cecilia watched him leave with heavy eyes.
Walking down a hallway, Dirk made it to his room. He opened the door and entered.
After closing the door behind him, Pandora swooped in from the side. Dressed in a thin nightgown, she hugged him from behind.
“I felt you. What has you down, my dear?”
She spoke of their connection in a soft voice. Within it, Dirk could feel great allure, not to mention what he felt on his back.
His body momentarily got a wave of goosebumps, but when that went away, he responded in a monotone voice.
“Nothing. Just some optimistic thoughts of mine.”
“Optimism only gets you down when you think you can’t have it. And I, for one, don’t believe there’s anything you can’t get should you want it enough.”
“This world doesn’t allow that sort of hope.”
“And who did you let put that idea into your head?”
“...”
Dirk went silent.
His hopes had very effectively been crushed and ground into dust before being chewed and shit out my the monster known as Asura. The very concept of powerlessness was almost literally engraved into his bones, powerlessness before those who stood at the top of the world.
Either way, Dirk believed the simple life he desired to be impossible. This world, its magic, its people, wouldn’t allow it. His life would be a never ending battle to rise to the top, and even then, there were gods who would deny his rest waiting at the top of that mountain.
In that picture, where did his ideal life fit in?
Pandora spoke into his ear, as if answering that question.
“Dirk, understand that hope is the antithesis to everything that fights against you. Asura tried to crush your hope and your will to continue on. He made you believe that there was nothing for you except the endless abyss of warfare and death. And I know that this War did nothing to help that either. Everything seems to be denying you hope for something better than what you have.”
Pandora slipped around to his front, her words echoing in Dirk’s mind. They were infectious, stressing the weight on his heart.
And he looked into her ruby red eyes that seemed to draw him in deeper. For a moment he thought that she was affecting his mind with her powers of temptation, but he felt none of that at play, causing something in him to stir even more than before.
Her hands cupped his face, rising before slipping his blindfold off and revealing his cursed eyes.
A finger traced the surface of that cracked skin.
“Don’t give them that power over you. You’re allowed to hope for something better, and nobody can stop you from fighting for it. For peace, for security, for happiness and love. All those things are just waiting for you to grab them. Begging you to take them.”
Her arms slipped around his neck as she whispered. And then, she planted her lips on his.
Unlike before though, it wasn’t soft. It was full, Dirk unable to resist as she sucked him in.
Nor did he. The euphoric wave of pleasure caught him off guard. He had never felt anything like it before. It was even more intoxicating than alcohol. He felt like he never wanted to stop.
And after several seconds, they separated. Pandora’s bated breath brushed across his face.
“So take me.”
She spoke, and with a jump, wrapped her legs around his waist. Dirk caught her, the two moving toward the bed.
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And they fell across it while climbing on top of each other. Pandora glued herself to his body while voraciously swapping tongue.
And they continued like that for several minutes, neither even having the thought of stopping cross their mind. They just let the pleasure of each other’s desires flood their minds.
But not even that could completely cloud Dirk’s thoughts.
Even through the pleasure, he couldn’t help but feel a bit guilty. He knew who was in his mind, and he didn’t have any thoughts of pushing her out.
But he found himself conflicted in this moment, because he couldn’t deny what he was feeling right now.
Pandora had been his sworn enemy up until a month or so ago. Gradually she grew on him, and as she kept fighting, so his defenses fell.
And tonight, in a moment of vulnerability, she seemed to check all the right boxes and strike right at his heart, carving out a place within it for herself.
And he couldn’t find it within him to deny it. The only reason he would deny her was due to who she used to be, but he had reconciled that. Seeing her collapse over her failure was a major turning point for his relationship with her. It made him realize that, like him, she was a bit broken too. And he felt that he was the only one who could help put her back together.
To deny her, and how he was beginning to feel about her, would contradict all that. So he couldn’t.
But now, in the heat of the moment, he remembered another girl he had given a bit of his heart to. And once remembered, he couldn’t forget.
Still, it was only a faint portion of his mind that remembered. The rest was focused elsewhere.
But the overwhelming emotions seemed to drain him as well, because at some point, he slowed down and drifted with the pleasure into the silence of the night.
So his consciousness faded, yet ever filled with those insuppressible feelings of satisfaction.
……
…
“Mmm…”
There was a small moan as Dirk woke, the brightness of the sun piercing through the curtains of his window.
He stretched as he did so, feeling wholly rested and rejuvenated. He even smiled a bit, feeling good.
But as he shifted, he could feel something pinning down his arm. It made him freeze as his Mana Vision focused.
He found Pandora beside him. He was practically wearing her as she clutched his body. And the thin nightgown she wore had slipped sometime during the night.
The sight of that exposed pink nipple almost made his mind blank. In fact, Pandora’s entire image was almost sucking him in, spurring on the instincts of his body with full force.
It took his inhuman willpower to pull away. She probably wouldn’t mind being woken up and ravaged, but he did. He wasn’t exactly ready to take that step.
He was realizing just what those things were beginning to entail, and doing something like that would take far more consideration. What it meant for him to form that kind of bond was taking shape, and its potential impact on his path in this life would be significant.
Suddenly, Dirk found himself questioning this whole situation.
‘How the hell did I get sucked in like that? It’s like the past me is nowhere to be found…’
He sighed inwardly, and very gently, slipped out from underneath Pandora.
Of course, she slept like a corpse anyway, so she didn’t wake. After that, he dressed before heading downstairs.
It was odd how he reverted back to old habits, taking familiar steps through a hallway before happening upon the dining room. It was there that he found his mother and the head maid. Breakfast was being served.
Of course, Dirk couldn’t care too much about the breakfast. Instead, he saw the small smile his mother gave him, his ears burning in shame.
“...That was the first time.”
“So that isn’t what your entire trip has been like? Don’t get me wrong, I’m not one to interfere in my children’s love lives. But I can’t help but be surprised. You seemed to hate her not long ago.”
“...”
Dirk refused to explain himself. It was oddly difficult to say that his mind had changed, especially when he was rather stubborn about things. Even he was surprised with himself, let alone his mother.
Seeing that, Cecilia chuckled a bit and waved.
“Don’t worry about it. I trust in your judgment. Come sit and eat.”
“...Fine.”
Dirk sighed, washing his thoughts of embarrassment and taking a seat. Right now, he was rather glad he didn’t have eyes. Surely they would give away even more of his thoughts.
He was served breakfast by the head maid as he sat, seeing a large platter. None of it was as luxurious as the stuff Pandora had prepared for their trips, but the homely feel it gave off was enough for him.
He ate with pleasant thoughts, feeling like he was young again. He remembered when he would have to drag or carry Rita down in the mornings. She would always go to his room in the morning before falling back asleep in his bed. The piggybacks became a morning ritual.
‘I want to see Rita.’
Dirk had those thoughts while finishing off his plate. After that, he sat in silence for a while.
In that time, Cecilia spoke softly.
“Dirk.”
“Hm?”
“...I’m glad you’ve found someone you can be vulnerable with.”
His mother’s smile was loving as he focused on her.
Dirk knew his mother probably didn’t approve of Pandora all that much. Neither did he until recently. They both probably knew it was a miracle how he had let her get so close to him.
But he did.
“It’s different when you can be close with someone else, isn’t it? Your father was someone I found that in. After everything I had been through with Asura, it took a lot for me to open up. But he was very persistent. He said all the right things and promised me everything that I ever wanted. He gave me love and a family. And I’m glad that you’re finding those things for yourself. After all, there’s only so much your mother can give you. At some point, my baby needs to leave the nest and find a chick of his own.”
She finished with a laugh, causing Dirk to smile.
However, her next words made him sweat.
“Of course, you’re also going to need to figure out what to do with your other girlfriend. I know you didn’t forget about that childhood sweetheart of yours.”
“...”
Dirk didn’t respond, his face going completely neutral as if he was just staring off into the distance.
That only made her smile more though.
And then, they heard footsteps.
“My Dirk has another girlfriend? This is the first time I’m hearing of this.”
Pandora turned the corner with a sweet smile, dressed in a casual t-shirt and sweats that had been designed after clothes from Earth.
She looked no less beautiful, but her smile made Dirk sink even farther into his own world of selective ignorance.
“We need to go see dad and the others today.”
“No no, I must hear about this rival of mine. Is she human?”
“...”
“Elf?”
“...”
“Hybrid?”
“...”
Dirk was silent, absolutely nothing changing on his face.
But with her last guess, she smiled.
“She’s a hybrid.”
“I gave away nothing.”
“No, but your mother did.”
Pandora glanced at Cecilia, who was a bit caught off guard.
Then she moved over behind Dirk’s seat, wrapping her arms around him and whispering in his ear.
“Surely I’ll need to meet this girl sometime, no? Nobody leaves that stone cold heart of yours so easily, so I’ll need to properly vet her. After all, unless she’s extraordinary, she won’t be able to survive being in a relationship with you. Unless she proves herself, then she’s automatically disqualified to compete with me.”
“It’s not a contest.”
“Oh, I know. But just remember, you’re not the only one who gets to pick. If I want you, then surely I’m going to fight until you’re mine, regardless of your own feelings on the matter.”
Pandora’s smile was slightly maddened as she spoke into his ear, and from across the table, Cecilia had a wry smile.
It seemed Dirk had his work cut out for him. This princess wasn’t so easily handled. Not that she could judge much. She too had a phase like that with her own husband. An assassin like her got what she wanted, and there was very little to stop her when she had her mind set on something.
But then, she waved.
“Alright, keep the romance to a minimum in front of me, please. It’s hard to watch.”
“Very well. You hear that, Dirk? You can’t be all over me anymore. Try to hold it in, okay?”
“...”
Dirk was silent, baffled by her audacity to say such a thing.
Then, she suddenly leaned toward his neck.
“Let me get a sip too.”
Right after she muttered, her teeth were exposed, two fangs quickly poking into his neck.
Cecilia was momentarily surprised before she rolled her eyes.
“Did I not just say… Nevermind. Just finish up whatever it is you two do and get dressed. We’re heading to the front lines in an hour.”
“Alright.”
With Dirk’s mumble, she left the two lovebirds and retreated to her room.
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