Chapter 11

It stinks!

Florine had never been eaten before, nor had she ever entertained the notion. Now, she sat very still inside the Spawner’s mouth, praying fervently that it wouldn’t swallow her. Then again, it didn’t seem like there was anywhere to go, so being chewed was probably far worse.

“Are you two alright?” She asked.

The Zern pressed against her stirred. When the Spawner had come after them, Florine had grabbed Boobeebee without thought – probably because she was about the size of a child. This made little sense in hindsight considering that the Zern hero was, well, a hero and far stronger than Florine. Not that it would have probably counted for anything: the Spawner was swatting Death-series servitors left and right with little effort.

“I’m alright,” Boobeebee replied. “Though I can’t say I like that I’m inside something’s mouth right now.”

“Rather than a mouth,” Florine said. “This is almost like a small room. Gazers don’t have hands, so maybe it’s how they carry things around.”

“Pip!” Liolio pipped.

That was her hope, at least. They were eaten, except not really. Since the three of them were of races that were probably unknown to the Middle Realms, they might have been taken for questioning. The Gazer certainly had the leeway to do so considering how easily it shattered Clan Felhammer’s assault.

If that was the case, Florine would be more than pleased by the development. It was a priceless opportunity to learn and she was getting sick of the cruel, utilitarian culture of the Dark Dwarves. The Gazers were supposedly just as bad in a different way, but she couldn’t imagine how that could possibly be at the present. It could even be that the Dark Dwarves were simply being critical of others as usual and the Gazers only superficially matched their description of them.

Of course, there was the fact that they had sent countless slaves to their deaths. However, Raellor mentioned something about their behaviour being driven by some other threat so she had to consider that. The Realms Below had proven to be a hostile place filled with all sorts of powerful dangers and, as a whole, it made the worst things that happened on the surface seem safe and peaceful – and reasonable – by comparison.

Florine steadied herself as the Gazer changed direction. Since she was mostly being pressed into its tongue, it was probably flying upwards.

I guess we’re returning to Grimmantle Citadel.

She wondered what the others would do when they discovered she was missing. The Vampire Bride would probably try to come after her since Lady Shalltear had ordered her to attend to Florine and keep her from being ‘despoiled’. Clan Felhammer would probably continue their operations without her so long as they weren’t held accountable for her disappearance.

The Gazer abruptly changed direction, nearly causing her to tip over. After a moment, Florine cried out in alarm as the walls of the Gazer’s mouth tightened around her and she was ejected onto a cold, hard surface with a splat.

Florine nearly slipped as she pushed herself upright with saliva-soaked hands. She was in a large chamber of some sort, so wide that its walls lay beyond the range of her Darkvision item. It gave her the impression that she was sitting on an island of stone surrounded by darkness.

She rose to her feet, releasing Boobeebee and reaching into her Infinite Haversack for a Trooper’s Towel.

“How delightful,” a rumbling voice echoed from the unseen walls. “How very delightful!”

Florine froze as the Gazer from before floated into view. Its lumpy, spherical form was over four metres across with ten eye stalks that sprouted across its upper half. An eye one metre across was embedded in the centre of the Gazer’s body, dominated by a glittering amber iris with a slitted pupil that resembled a string of pearls. Below that eye was a three-metre-wide maw, lined with needle-like fangs the length of Florine’s forearm.

Under her captor’s intense gaze, Florine drew her mantle shut as she hugged her trembling body.

“Insolence!” The Gazer shouted.

Florine’s mantle was ripped away by an invisible force, baring what lay beneath. The Gazer’s mouth widened into a terrifying grin as it drew closer and the invisible force shifted her dress this way and that.

Gazers enjoy visually stimulating things. Your appearance will have them swarming around you in no time.

She trembled even harder as Uldun’s words came unbidden. The notion that she might be defiled was something she had brushed off as unlikely when the Vampire Bride mentioned it, but it seemed that she shouldn’t have ignored Lady Shalltear’s wisdom…not that Florine could do much about her present situation.

The Gazer drew even closer, its eyes closing in on all sides. Florine tried backing away, but an invisible force fixed her in place.

“Mmm…” The Gazer’s gaze roamed over every millimetre of her body, “Excellent. Most excellent…you – purple one. Stand beside her.”

Boobeebee shared an eyeless glance with Florine before stepping in closer. The Gazer drifted away, settling on a stone dais Florine hadn’t noticed previously with a satisfied sigh. Florine stood where she was for several minutes, uncertain about what was going on.

“Excuse me,” Florine said, “may I ask a question.”

“Since you have pleased me, slave, you are afforded the privilege of doing so.”

“Why am I here?”

“That is a profoundly deep question for a slave,” the Gazer replied.

“She exists to please me,” the Gazer said.

“No, she exists to please me,” the Gazer countered.

Florine frowned behind her smile at the odd exchange.

“My name is Florine Kadia Dale Gagnier,” she said. “A Baroness of the Sorcerous Kingdom. Might I know with whom I have the pleasure of speaking?”

“I am Xulgorinairiar.”

“No, I am Xulgorinairiar!”

“No, I am!”

“We?”

“We…”

After a moment, the Gazer nodded to itself.

“We are Xulgorinairiar,” its tone filled the air with a sense of absolute certainty. “And we are…perfection. As to your previous question, is it not obvious that you exist to please us? The very colour of your eyes is a tribute from the world itself to our glorious magnificence!”

“What is it about me that pleases Your Glorious Magnificence?”

“Why, the fact that you are so visually stimulating, of course. The colours; the complexity of your design; the roundness that adorns your form…what manner of creature are you?”

“I’m a Human.”

“A Human…” Xulgorinairiar seemed to taste the word, “I don’t believe I’ve heard of those. Where might I acquire more of your kind?”

Florine was fairly confident that she shouldn’t share that information. As she hesitated, however, a ray lanced out from one of the Gazer’s eyes to strike her in the stomach. Her hand went down reflexively to cover the spot, but she didn’t feel anything amiss.

“Resisted?” The Gazer frowned, “No, immune?”

The eye shifted slightly and a ray struck Boobeebee. Xulgorinairiar’s smile returned.

“Tell me, slave,” the Gazer said. “Where might I acquire more of these Humans?”

“Humans dwell in the Realms Above,” Boobeebee replied. “There are many millions living on the surface. A country called the Holy Kingdom of Roble lies a hundred kilometres west of my tribe.”

Xulgorinairiar’s central eye narrowed.

“A country of these delightful Humans that worship a different Gazer? What do you know of the one called Roble?”

“Er…I don’t believe they worship any being called Roble. The country is simply called that. The Humans there worship the elemental gods.”

“Gods, huh. How primitive. Only Gazers deserve to be worshipped. In that case, what is the ‘surface’?”

“A place with no ceiling and no encompassing walls. Where cycles of day and night are dictated by the celestial bodies above.”

“What are ‘day’ and ‘night’?”

“Day is the time when the world is illuminated by a golden orb that we call the sun. Night is the time of darkness in its absence, though the moon – a silvery orb – and stars may light one’s way.”

The Gazer’s gaze turned inward in thought.

“A golden orb and a silver orb, hm…it seems that the world has more gifts for us. How can we reach this ‘surface’?”

“As long as you keep going up,” Boobeebee replied, “you’ll reach it eventually.”

Boobeebee slouched as if released by something. Florine looked down worriedly at her.

“Are you alright?” She asked.

“I think I was charmed,” Boobeebee answered. “I’ve never been charmed before, but I’m pretty sure that’s what happened for some reason.”

She stroked the Zern’s eel-like head comfortingly. As far as she knew, aside from temporarily influencing one’s opinion of the caster, charm spells didn’t do any physical harm. She looked up at Xulgorinairiar, who continued to stare intently at them.

“Am I really all that pleasant to look at?” Florine asked.

“If you hadn’t noticed,” Xulgorinairiar answered, “this place is so very bland. Everything is dark and grey and metal. Dark Dwarves are a most unpleasant race.”

Florine was of the same opinion, but not for the same reasons.

“Does that mean you enjoy frequenting places like mushroom groves and caves with colourful crystals?”

“Indeed,” the Gazer’s head bobbed in a ponderous nod. “A feast for the eyes.”

“I see.”

Xulgorinairiar let out a low chuckle. Did it consider her response humorous?

Florine felt more than a bit silly about her previous fears. Why would something that in no way resembled a Human be sexually attracted to a Human, anyway? What Uldun meant by ‘visually stimulating’ was precisely that – sights that stimulated the senses.

With that in mind, Florine started formulating a plan to escape her situation. Maybe she could do more than that. She stuck a hand into her Infinite Haversack, producing a colourful object.

“In that case,” she asked, “what do you think about this?”

It was a portrait of Ludwig from Dreams of Red, which she had commissioned a Bard in E-Rantel to paint. He struck a heroic figure in his house colours, the banner attached to his spear trailing in the wind. The background was a meadow in full blossom, which was a popular choice amongst the Bard’s customers.

The portrait floated out of Florine’s hand to hover in front of Xulgorinairiar.

“Let’s see…” Half of the Gazer’s eye stalks turned to look at the piece, “Oh, I like this! Humans truly are a colourful race. And this background…is this the ‘surface’ that the purple one spoke of?”

“It’s scenery similar to what one might find on the surface, yes,” Florine replied. “The alpine meadows in the Azerlisia Mountains should start looking like that by midsummer.”

“I would like to see this,” Xulgorinairiar said. “Which way do I need to go to reach this place?”

“It’s part of the Sorcerous Kingdom, but I wouldn’t mind showing you around as an honoured guest.”

“Truly? I will consider the matter.”

The portrait flew into Xulgorinairiar’s maw, disappearing with a chomp.

My Ludwig!

She had waited four months for the finished piece. The artist was getting increasingly popular for his Dreams of Red art, so she had no idea how long a new commission would take.

Xulgorinairiar, however, paid no mind to her distraught expression.

“Delicious,” the Gazer yawned. “And so very filling…”

The lid of the Gazer’s central eye grew heavy and drifted shut. It seemed to have fallen asleep, but its eye stalks were fully alert and looking in every direction. Florine turned around and settled onto the stone floor, reviewing what she had learned.

Gazers were unlike any race that she had interacted with before. They were truly supernatural beings that, by all appearances, ignored most natural laws.

No, that’s probably incorrect. It’s my perception of what’s ‘natural’ that’s probably flawed.

The more she saw of the world, the more she understood that Human perception and the materialistic rationality that it gave rise to did not necessarily mean anything to other races. For instance, Elementals and beings with high elemental affinity were existences that were driven by entirely different motives. Offering a Fire Elemental money to heat a forge didn’t work because Fire Elementals didn’t care about money. One could offer a Fire Elemental fuel to burn since they only desired to burn things, but they were just as likely to burn the Blacksmith.

In the case of the Gazers, they appeared to value ‘visual stimulation’. They even consumed it. Appearance did have value in Human society, but it wasn’t measured the same way. Florine sorted through her bags, pulling out various articles to determine what sort of market the Gazers represented.

“What are you doing?” Boobeebee asked.

“Looking for colourful things,” Florine answered. “Xulgorinairiar seems to like them.”

“Should we not be figuring out how to escape, instead?”

A snore reverberated around the chamber. She didn’t know that something that didn’t even have a throat could snore.

“I think we’re fine, for now,” Florine said as she set down a cosmetics kit. “Though…”

She looked down at the stone floor beside her.

『Find Isoroku and let them know I’m safe.』

A pair of yellow eyes appeared in the darkness, questioning her orders. Her Shadow Demon wanted to go on the offensive the moment Xulgorinairiar attacked her, but Florine had instructed it to lay low when it seemed that she wasn’t in any immediate danger.

『I’ll be fine. We can’t do anything to Xulgorinairiar, anyway.』

The yellow eyes vanished. A current of air was the only sign that the Shadow Demon had left. Florine turned her attention back to the cosmetics kit, opening it and spreading out its contents over the floor.

“I have not seen these objects before,” Boobeebee said. “What are they?”

“It’s commonly called ‘makeup’ by Humans,” Florine reached out and picked up a tube of carmine wax and removed the cap. “This one is called ‘lipstick’. It gives the lips a brighter appearance and can make them seem fuller if applied properly.”

She pulled out a hand mirror and painted her lips as a demonstration. Belatedly, she realised that Zern didn’t perceive colour the same way that Humans did.

“You seem more threatening that way,” Boobeebee ‘looked’ up at her.

“Eh? How?”

“It makes it seem as if you’ve just devoured your prey.”

“But it’s supposed to make me look more attractive…”

“Eh? How?”

Florine supposed that it was just a Human thing. Or maybe a thing for some Humanoids. Considering the logic behind it, there must have been variants for other races, but the most common cosmetics that the Zern were probably exposed to were things like war paint.

“Would you like to try it out?” Florine smiled.

“Me?”

“Xulgorinairiar probably likes you right now because you’re such a nice shade of purple, but who knows when he might tire of a single colour…”

In the end, the Zern hero ended up with a ring of bright red around her disturbing maw. Florine’s work was a bit shoddy as the insectoid had no lips to speak of. It was the colour that mattered, though. Now that Boobeebee had pointed it out, it did look like the Zern had just eaten something.

Florine returned to her seat, but not before pulling out a pillow to cushion her rear from the cold stone floor.

“Er…you’re not going to put all of that on me as well, are you?” Boobeebee asked as Florine applied some lavender eyeshadow to her right eyelid.

“I can if you’d like,” Florine answered, “though I’m not sure where this would go since you don’t have eyes…”

“Please don’t trouble yourself,” Boobeebee said. “I’m sure that–”

“Pip!”

Florine straightened at Liolio’s cautionary call. A Watcher floated toward them gaze fixed on the dyes and paints of Florine’s cosmetics kit. She started putting everything away, which only seemed to make the Watcher mad. It darted forward and bit Florine’s arm. Boobeebee swatted it away.

“Are you alright?” Boobeebee asked.

“It didn’t hurt me,” Florine answered.

The Gazer hissed and brought one of its eyes to bear, sending a bright blue beam lancing at Boobeebee. Boobeebee dodged the attack, which left a web of frost on the stone. The Zern hero charged the Watcher, splitting it in half with a lightning-quick slash of a foreclaw.

“Should we have done that?” Florine said.

“Pip!”

“Now is not the time for discussion,” Boobeebee turned to look past her. “More come.”

She turned to find three more Watchers flying toward them. They were all focused on Boobeebee, who effortlessly dispatched them.

Above the dais nearby, Xulgorinairiar continued to sleep. With every prodigious snore, more sets of Watchers popped into existence.

“Xulgorinairiar,” Florine called out, “please wake up!”

Another snore. This time, a Standard appeared. According to Falagrim, if it brought its anti-magic cone to bear against her, she would lose all of her magical protection.

With a strange gesture of its eye stalks, the Standard sent a wave of Watchers after them. Boobeebee destroyed half of them in the blink of an eye, then she was hit by a purple beam from the Standard. The Zern hero let out a shriek and ran off, disappearing into the darkness.

Its opponent dealt with for the time being, the Standard focused its gaze on Florine and closed in on her.

“Give me the colours, slave!” It demanded.

“But Xulgorinairiar will get angry if I do,” Florine replied.

The Standard stopped to consider her response. A few of its eye stalks turned in the direction of the sleeping Spawner, which was still spawning more Gazers.

“I am the true Xulgorinairiar!” The Standard told her, “And I will rule this hive! Give me the colours!”

A green beam struck the Standard from behind, transforming it into a pile of dust. Another Standard floated toward them.

“No, I am the true Xulgorinairiar! Give me the colours!”

“No, I am the true Xulgorinairiar!” The Standard corrected itself.

“This is crazy!” Florine cried.

Would they have to go through this every time the Spawner took a nap? Their chances of survival seemed slim if that was the case.

As the Standard loomed closer, Liolio hopped off of Florine’s head and alighted next to the cosmetics kit. He grasped the tube of carmine wax in a talon.

“「Exploding Shot」!”

The Standard snarled as the tube of lipstick punctured its central eye. The Gazer’s body bloated slightly before exploding, showering the surroundings in gore. Liolio hopped over and retrieved Florine’s lipstick, coming back to return it to the container.

I don’t want to use that lipstick ever again…

Liolio flew back to his place on Florine’s head.

“I didn’t know you were that strong,” Florine said.

“Liolio is champion of the Miq!” Liolio pipped.

After watching the Standard explode, the approaching Watchers stopped. A pale figure fell from the ceiling to land beside Florine.

“Lady Gagnier,” the Vampire asked, “have you been despoiled?”

“I haven’t!” Florine answered, “And how did you get here?”

“I climbed up here.”

“…that must have been difficult.”

“Not particularly,” the Vampire Bride said. “Vampires have innate Spider Climb.”

Beams of bright blue light struck the Vampire Bride. From what she saw before, they inflicted cold damage which the Vampire Bride was immune to. The Vampire Bride pounced upon the nearest Watcher, ripping out each of its eye stalks before hurling it at the next. After losing several of their number, the remaining Watchers scattered.

Boobeebee returned a few moments later. She looked between the Vampire Bride, the Watchers, the pile of dust, and the bits of Gazer scattered about.

“What happened?” She asked.

“Nothing,” Florine answered.

Above the dais, Xulgorinairiar yawned. His eyes examined the stones scattered around Florine and her companions.

“That was a nice nap,” the Spawner said. “Hm? What happened here? Did the ceiling cave in? Those Dwarves, we tell you: they take pride in their craftsmanship, but it can be terribly shoddy work.”

“What do we do, Lady Gagnier?” The Vampire Bride whispered.

『Don’t do anything. This was the Spawner that was smashing Death Knights left and right.』

“There appears to be one more of you,” Xulgorinairiar said. “Did you take a nap as well?”

“She’s my attendant,” Florine replied.

“It’s good to settle those matters promptly,” Xulgorinairiar’s body bobbed in a sage nod. “Though it would be nice if she weren’t so plain.”

Florine glanced over the voluptuous Vampire Bride adorned in her diaphanous alabaster silks. No Human would ever describe any of Lady Shalltear’s handmaidens as ‘plain’.

“I can fix that,” Florine said. “Just one moment.”

She pulled two dresses out of her Infinite Haversack, holding them up for Xulgorinairiar to inspect.

“Which one would you prefer for her to wear?” Florine asked.

“Hm…the one on the left.”

Xulgorinairiar ate the one on the right. A few minutes later, the Vampire Bride was in Florine’s dress and Florine was trying to get a grip back on reality.

“So you were saying something about visiting these ‘alpine meadows’,” Xulgorinairiar said.

Florine wasn’t so sure that it was a good idea anymore, especially considering that dozens of new Gazers appeared when Xulgorinairiar took a nap.

“Is there anything in particular that attracts you to them?” Florine asked.

“Those little bright spots of colour,” the Gazer answered. “There were so many of them.”

She tried to recall the details of her lost Ludwig portrait.

“Ah, you mean the flowers,” Florine said. “Flowers can be found in many places on the surface. We can have them delivered to you for the appropriate compensation.”

“Compensation?” Xulgorinairiar frowned.

“There are certain costs that come with delivery,” Florine replied. “I believe that they would be but a mere trifle to Your Glorious Magnificence.”

“Is that so…”

“Indeed,” Florine smiled. “We would be all too happy to trade a vast variety of flowers for plain materials like iron ore, heatstone, or adamantite.”

“Adamantite?” Xulgorinairiar scoffed, “That dull and boring metal? I admit that your offer is very attractive, but I would still like to visit the surface all the same.”

Drat.

Liane would cry if Florine was able to pull off such a legendary trade.

“May I ask why you insist on visiting the surface?” Florine asked, “Not that it’s very dangerous compared to the Realms Below, but it’s so different that it may as well be another world. I’m afraid you may not find it to your liking.”

Xulgorinairiar fell silent for several seconds before drifting closer.

“Since you continue to please me,” the Gazer said with a conspiratorial whisper, “I will let you in on a secret. A great shadow rises from the Lower Realms. Its power is such that no number of the mightiest Empires can stand before it. Like a great deluge of darkness, it comes to sweep away the filth that has accumulated in the time that it has lain dormant.”

“The filth?”

“That’s what they all say. My hive has picked up many in its journey through the Realms Below. All who have attempted to negotiate with the great shadow on behalf of their homes came away with that reply.”

Something so powerful that it can destroy any number of empires in the Realms Below and even make beings like Xulgorinairiar flee…

“My government would be most interested in hearing this,” Florine said. “It shouldn’t be a problem to arrange a visit to the surface – so long as we’re allowed to keep everything that pops up in your sleep under control.”

“Those? You can destroy any number of them. I don’t mind at all. In fact, that would be quite convenient. Once in a while, one shows up that’s almost as perfect as I am and it’s always a bother to get rid of them.”

“Then we’re agreed,” Florine smiled and put together her hands in a pleased gesture. “If you’ll allow me to contact my gov–”

The dark portal of a Gate spell opened in the air between them. Xulgorinairiar backed away cautiously. Several heartbeats passed before Lady Shalltear stepped through, equipped with crimson plate armour that Florine hadn’t seen before. Her liege’s crimson gaze swept the surroundings before settling on Florine.

“Well,” she said, “aren’t you all dolled up…is that Zern wearing lipstick?”

“Fabulous!” Xulgorinairiar floated forward with a wide grin, “Another stimulating slave to add to my collect–”

“「Purifying Javelin」!”

A brilliant lance of holy light hurtled through the darkness, impaling Xulgorinairiar and pinning the Gazer to the stone wall behind the dais.

“L-Lady Shalltear!” Florine cried, “Why did you do that?!”

“What!” Lady Shalltear responded in a defensive tone, “You heard it, too! That thing said something absolutely unforgivable!”

“Xulgorinairiar was a priceless source of information!” Florine said, “I even had him agree to cooperate with us.”

The corner of Lady Shalltear’s right eye twitched a few times. Then, she reached into her inventory and pulled out an ivory rod topped with gold.

Lady Shalltear went over and pointed the rod at the dead Gazer. After a few seconds, she shook the rod at the corpse again.

“That’s strange. Um…”

Florine’s liege put the rod away, producing an even more impressive-looking one. She pointed it at Xulgorinairiar’s corpse, producing a similar lack of results.

“The resurrection is being rejected,” Lady Shalltear said.

A long sigh escaped Florine’s lips.

“Why have you come, my lady?” She asked.

“We received a report that an out-of-place artefact was discovered,” Lady Shalltear answered. “Well, more that it was being swung at everyone down here. I came down to retrieve it. Since it was mentioned that you were missing, I figured that opening a Gate to you would take me right to it.”

Out of the darkness, a Hanzo appeared. It offered the warhammer that Xulgorinairiar was swinging around to Lady Shalltear in both hands. Lady Shalltear held out a hand towards it.

“「All Appraisal Magic Item」…see!” The Vampire smiled brightly, “I was right.”

“What’s an out-of-place artefact?” Florine asked.

“It’s exactly as it sounds,” Lady Shalltear answered, taking the weapon in hand. “An item that shouldn’t be here. Now, if we could only figure out how it came into the possession of this Gazer…”

Florine crossed her arms and gave Lady Shalltear a flat stare. Lady Shalltear stared back at her with a blank expression, which ever so slowly turned into one of horrified realisation. Her hands came up to hold her head as a high-pitched kiiiii filled the air.

“I screwed up!” Lady Shalltear cried. “No, this isn’t my fault. I have witnesses! You heard what that thing said!”

“You screwed up,” Florine told her.

“Aren’t vassals supposed to support their liege?”

“Lady Aura asked me to take care of a certain dummy,” Florine ignored Lady Shalltear’s pleading look. “It does that dummy no good if I coddle them.”

“Argh!”