Talon’s POV

With the two suns still high overhead, Gresha City was still lively with the excited sounds of their Harvest Festival. But their songs and dancing, the shrieks of children, it all sounded so distant. The only sound I could hear was the pounding of my heart in my ears, until a familiar voice drifted up from somewhere down below: “Heeeeey, Tal? You up there…? C’mon, say something! I don’t waaaanna go searching all over the city…”

Immediately I pulled away from Nania, a hand slapped over my mouth. Fuck. This was bad. Across from me, though her cheeks were quite red, she didn’t seem anywhere near so concerned. Her forest-green eyes were blown wide, as though she were still shocked by what we had just done. Yes, shocked…but also delighted and pleased. A wide grin briefly broke across her face, then she looked down into the alleyway, and hollered with a friendly wave, “Took you long enough, Ellie!”

She quickly descended from the roof and greeted her friend with a hug. Before long, the warm tones of their conversation filled the air, as did the scents of the snacks and treats Elian had brought along with him. I should have listened, so I knew what I was dealing with and could react accordingly, but I was distracted by the churning emotions in my stomach. Though Elian had initially left to find food for me, I no longer had any appetite for it.

Why did I feel so uncomfortable now? Like a bird had been trapped in my chest, violently beating its wings—no, that wasn’t the thing I should be focusing on. In Angra, a man who took another’s partner as his own was harshly punished by the families of both the scorned husband and the wife—and though Elian and Nania may not have been married yet, from the way they interacted they were very clearly courting. Angran law may have forgiven my transgression, even if the people of the village did not, but I did not know the Greshan laws for these things, nor how lenient they would be with an Angran.

A quieter, more logical part of my mind reminded me of how merciful Elian was, how unlikely it was he would turn me in for execution, sacrifice, or corporal punishment. But even so, I doubted he would approve, and without his support, I doubted I could remain in Gresha. Even if I said nothing, Nania would let something slip about what we had done, and it would be only a matter of time before my friend turned cold. Instead, I should leave before anyone noticed my absence. Leave and never return.

It would be…disappointing, that I could no longer train with Elian and Nania. The thought alone created an emptiness in my chest. They had both shown great potential. I had wanted to fight against the both of them, many more times. Imagining the absence of either…I didn’t like it. But it wasn’t like I would die without them in my life, no matter these weird feelings. However, when I crouched and prepared to make my escape, Elian called out to me again.

“Tal? You wanna come down and eat?” Elian called up.

Suddenly it struck me just how cowardly I was acting. My cheeks burned. How shameful. To just run away before he realized what I had done. I should just tell him upfront that I had kissed his partner and take what punishment came my way. With how fairly he always treated me and how he kept his promises, he deserved no less than the truth and a chance to vent his emotions against the perpetrator. And I had taken far worse punishment in combat than the typical Angran punishments for an adulterer. And yet…

The thought of Elian’s wide, warm hazel eyes twisting with anger and betrayal…

“I’m not hungry right now,” I called down.

I could see Elian gazing up at me from the bottom of the alleyway. His eyes were twisted with concern, while beside him Nania seemed red with embarrassment now, her gazing shying away from mine. Clearly now regretting what I allowed her to do now that her partner had returned. Why the Hells did I allow her to do that? I had a goal to achieve, and others could help me on the way, but I should not have entangled them in it.

“You’re sure you’re not hungry?” Elian asked. “Is it the city? You wanna go back to the woods?” He glanced to Nania, at his side. “Did something…?”

“I—” she swallowed. “I mean, I think—”

“Today was an exciting day, and now I am tired. I’ve had enough excitement for today,” I cut her off. Perhaps I did not impose myself on her, but I should not have allowed her to overstep, let alone encouraged her. It was my fault and mine alone, and so it would be wrong to allow her to get in trouble for my mistake. Wrong to allow her and Elian’s relationship to suffer because of this. “I’d like to rest now.”

“I-i’ll walk you back, then,” Nania offered.

“No. I…” I twisted my mouth, then spat it out: “I would rather Elian walk me back. And besides. Won’t things grow bad for you in the city if you’re missing for too long?”

Her face fell. “No, you’re right. It was good seeing you, Talon. I…hope we can talk again soon?” Her expression grew more hopeful, but she clearly struggled to keep it that way when I refused to respond. She accepted some of the food Elian had brought, then quickly left the alleyway, shoulders slumped.

Carefully, I climbed down from the roof and set foot on the alleyway’s solid ground again. We began to walk, and as I observed my closest friend from behind, I was struck suddenly by the ways Elian and I had changed, and the ways we hadn’t changed at all. Both of us had grown, though Elian had put on more muscle and breadth while I had become the tallest of our little group. Our hair had grown in length too, and Elian’s once-smooth skin now boasted a small collection of scars and calluses—the one he wore most proudly being the scar on his left cheek I had given him in our first duel. His soft features were beginning to grow more solid, as mine became sharper and more brooding.

And yet. That warmth in his eyes and smile remained. It was a warmth I had grown used to, like the sun’s warmth on my back.

What a mess I had created.

“Elian, I have something to tell you,” I told him as soon as I could make myself. He turned his head to show he was listening, one brow just slightly raised.

Speaking around the dryness of my throat, I just said it. “I kissed Nania.”

He stopped walking. Surprise lifted his brows and widened his eyes. Softly, he asked, “You did?” I nodded, glaring stoically ahead as I prepared myself for his reaction. What I did not expect was for him to break into a wide grin and clap my shoulder.

“Fucking finally, Tal. It was exhausting watching you two.”

Wait, what?

“What, what!?” I demanded, brushing his arm off of me. The ghost of its presence tingled on my flesh, but I ignored that to rage at my friend. With a lighthearted laugh unbefitting of the situation, he started walking about, and I followed him. “Why aren’t you angry? Weren’t you two courting? Haven’t you been together?”

“Cour—” He tilted his head like a bird. “Where did you get that idea?”

“You’re always so close and affectionate and touching each—” I stopped as the obvious dawned on me, then slapped my forehead as I groaned out, “Damn lewd Greshans…”

“That was us being friends,” Elian said, struggling to stifle his laughter.

Right. Different cultures, different customs. Though I had learned we shared some customs, like the intimacy of touching another’s hair, and how violating grabbing or cutting it could be when another did it without permission, I was still caught off-guard by some of my own assumptions. But if I had misread that they were courting from the start…was there anything else I had misread? Had that just been Nania displaying friendship towards me, in a Greshan way? A…very bizarre and misleading Greshan way?

“What the Hells did you mean ‘finally’,” I finally asked Elian.

“She’s liked you for a while now, even talked with me about it once or twice, but I thought you two were never gonna say anything about it, even when I told her it was fine and she should pursue you,” he shrugged as he stepped lightly. “Why? What exactly happened?”

“She…offered to do my hair. I let her. Then she kissed me. Or, she tried to and then I, er, did it back.” My hand drifted up to my head, and I lightly ran my fingertips across her green hair ribbon, still holding my hair in place. Carefully I dipped a finger under it, tugging gently until it came loose and I could pinch it between my fingers. Feels smooth… Maybe the smoothest I’ve ever felt. This isn’t wool or linen…feels like a cloud…

Elian gave me a look halfway between amused and confused, eyebrows quirked and mouth twitching. “What’s there to misinterpret? Seems to me like she was being really straightforward, then…? By our standards, anyways.”

I knit my brows together. Then I supposed that the attitudes around hair were another thing our cultures shared? “Maybe,” I muttered, just to respond to Elian. Then I began to redo the ribbon tightly in my hair as I tried to order my thoughts.

So…Elian was fine with it—supportive, even. Nania had chosen to do it herself, or that was the only thing I could assume until I actually spoke with her. So far, everyone seemed…okay with this.

Why did I still feel so ill-at-ease?

Did I dislike Nania? I knew I did not hate her. I knew I liked Elian. When I thought of Nania and Elian…they inspired very similar warm, strange feelings in my chest, so similar that the two often became bound up together, in my mind and in my feelings. Did that mean I didn’t love either, or that I loved both? It wasn’t a feeling I was very familiar with, I barely had a name for it. Only a few years into our relationship did I truly grow comfortable calling them ‘friends’.

My precious rival. My precious pupil. The two who brought the sound of life back to my silent world. My…beloved friends.

Was I fine with things as they were? Was there some part of me that reciprocated Nania’s feelings, that wanted something else? Was it just her I wanted more from? I tried to imagine kissing Nania again, then Elian, and found that both images conjured up strange, fuzzy feelings in my stomach. Was I ill? No, I had…I think I had enjoyed kissing Nania, so was this feeling a good feeling?

“You’re getting pretty red, Tal. Imagining all the babies you and Nia are gonna have?” Elian chortled. I retaliated by lightly smacking him as he laughed. Brazen-mouthed fool.

In truth, there were no girls back at the village I was even remotely interested in, none who I’d want to spend even a day with, let alone raise children with. If someone had put a knife to my throat and demanded I pick a partner to my tastes, well. First I would relieve them of their head for the insolence. But then I would have to admit that I would probably pick Nania. She was the only girl I felt close enough to comfortably do something like this with. And besides, I had plenty of opportunities to tell her off before she kissed me, or after, and said nothing. The moment she took an interest in my hair, I think some part of me suspected how it could end. Did some part of me…want it to go that way?

Maybe. The answer was maybe. I didn’t…dislike the kiss, even if I would have preferred to be the one initiating it. It had been soft and warm, and she had given me ample warning about what she was about to do. So…why was I uncomfortable? It was not that I disliked her. It was not that I would not choose her. So what was it…?

The sounds of explosions startled me and my hand flew to my hunting knife. Elian thrust a hand before me, then nodded at explosions of pretty lights in the distance. Fireworks. A cheer from the Greshan citizens went up as they celebrated the bright colors, which seemed to paint the whole town in reds and golds.

…Was that it? Was that the reason I felt so discomforted? Elian and Nania may both be supportive of the relationship, but Gresha as a whole would never approve. There was no happy ending for this tale where a feat of heroics changed their minds and allowed me to live alongside the girl, or possibly boy, I chose. Even if there was, I couldn’t understand why they would want to live packed so close together like this. The crowds, the noise, the people…

Gresha…was not a city of weakness and softness. Perhaps if I had been born here, I would have been someone happier. But I was not. Due to the circumstances of where I was born, this place could only ever look down upon me.

Through the leather of my archer’s gloves, I grabbed onto Elian’s wrist. “I want to go home,” I whispered under the fireworks’ loud noises. They said nothing, asked nothing, just began to guide me out again. It was pathetic, hiding behind them for something like this. Pathetic and weak. What awful feelings, why couldn’t I simply slay them or scare them away like most of my other problems? I wished, in that moment, for a battlefield. The midst of a fight was the only place I belonged, the place where everything became so much simpler and euphoric mania flooded my veins. Instead, cityscape gave way to farmland, and Elian gave a cheery wave and a few excuses each time we passed a soldier or guard. Most looked away from Elian, seeming to not want to associate with my friend. Soon we’d reach an area free of guards, where I could quietly exit the city. Then a noise stopped us in our tracks.

A bell tolled. I stumbled into Elian as he froze, gazing up at a bell tower atop one tall building, behind us in the city’s heart. They weren’t the only one. Both the cheers and the fireworks ceased, an ominous feeling settling in over the usually lively city. Even I felt that those bells had sounded familiar. “Was that…?” I asked.

Elian nodded once. “A message,” he said, “telling everyone to stay alert. Raiders were spotted beyond the walls…”