《Life would be so much easier if I weren't a monkey》Chapter 39: Bram Stoker’s douroucouli
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Name: Natasha
Race: Mandrill matriarch lvl 10
XP: 135
Size: 75
Type: Beast
Faction: Unaligned
Armor: 0
HP: 70/100
Strength: 8/Speed: 11/Endurance: 8/Magic: 8/Plasticity: 5/Luck 10
Senses: Vision 4, hearing 4, smell 4, taste 1, touch 2
Abilities: Balance 2, omnivorous 4, aposematism 3, specialized innate magic 6, Voice 1, coordination 2
Skills: Piercing bite 6, Jab 8, grapple and strike 7, precise throw 7, agile climb 7, nimble sneak 6, hide 1, rapid dash 6, dodge 2, block 1, discern weakness and strength 6, mysticism 1, quickstep 1, tumbling 1, leadership 4, mystic channeling 1, adaptability 1, infliction 1
Spells: Wind drake breath 6, windfury 5, jetstream 1, cloud step 1, thunder missile 1, misty path 1
Boss ability: mob boss
Lao Tzu
Mandrill lvl 4
HP:20/20
Tony Luciano
Mandrill lvl 4
HP: 20/20
I raised my head, knowing I was just about healed and the ticking up of my hp went from the torturous wait for bone to stitch back together, to the familiar melting away of tension from a regular hot bath. You know, it makes me wonder if all of this anxiety that I’m suffering by just existing in this world is having any psychological impact on me. I mean, this can’t be healthy right? In constant danger and risk of death, all day every day. By all respects I really should be some sort of traumatized, but I do feel oddly… how would you put it… placid.
+1 hp, +1 hp, +1 hp, +1 hp, +1 hp, +1 hp, +1 hp, +1 hp, +1 hp, +1 hp
I don’t know if I should chalk that up to the magic of this hot spring, or if it’s more of an underlying thing. Maybe in becoming a monster it made my mind more resilient? I suppose it could be that I was naturally more resilient to start with but I’ll be honest, that seems pretty unlikely. I had a hard time even watching sad movies, much less suffering my own tragedies. Which makes me think that something must have changed. The how and the why though, those still escape me.
+1 hp, +1 hp, +1 hp, +1 hp, +1 hp, +1 hp, +1 hp, +1 hp, +1 hp, +1 hp
As I sat up again, actually enjoying the soft warmth of the bath now, I rolled my shoulders. All the fatigue was gone too, which I attribute to the bath also restoring stamina. I looked over to Tony who was sunk down to his eyeballs, blowing bubbles in the water, and Lao was cupping his hands and trying to pick up some water, but it kept dripping through his fingers. Getting myself leveled up is going to be a challenge, but getting these two leveled up is going to be even harder. Having two monkey companions is great and all, but I really didn’t think about its difficulty beforehand. Not to say I’d choose anything else, but still.
+1 hp, +1 hp, +1 hp, +1 hp, +1 hp, +1 hp, +1 hp, +1 hp, +1 hp, +1 hp
As I watched the last of my hp tick up to full, all of the soreness was gone, I could move my limbs freely once again, and all my tension had ebbed away. I was reluctant to actually leave the water, but I knew I had to actually be responsible for once. I’m not just planning for my own benefit after all. Lao and Tony only have 20 hp, and I really need to get that into more of a buffer and not one arrow from death… The thought came back to me about how they were shot so suddenly before but I quickly shook my head. Dwelling on that isn’t going to help.
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I lifted myself out of the water and quickly shook my fur out and activated jetstream to escape the chilled air. I poofed out again and had to pat my fur down as I grabbed my pouch, and my new ax. I haven’t really thought about my ax too much beyond the obvious “I have an ax now” . I wonder, do I have to sharpen it? Or is that even a thing? I know you need to sharpen metal weapons but this looks like it’s made out of a couple bones tied together with twine. Though, actually the twine itself is a decent find. If I can spy on those goblins I might figure out how they make that. Having a supply of string could be really useful later.
I’m bunny trailing again. I strap my ax to my hip and start towards the door again. Now that I actually have a proper weapon for once I should be able to deal some damage beyond just tiny little knife stabs and biting. Interestingly enough, I actually have no clue how much damage I can actually do either. I know the ax will be more than my knife was, but how much really? There was no number value that I got to see. I only ever see when I get hit, and I’m not about to stab myself with a knife either.
I made my way to the door, and as it opened I heard the other two climbing out of the water behind me, shaking themselves at least semi-dry. I continued up the stairs and into the boss room, stepping over to where the shrine was. Now, I have no idea what this shrine is dedicated to, but it hasn’t exactly been worshiped in quite a long time. I grabbed the offering bowl in front of it and brought it to the back of the room, dumping out the contents into the bowl.
I glanced back towards the shrine. Actually now that I think about it, this shrine could be dedicated to anything. An actual god or spirit, or one worshiped by monsters, or some demon cult. Whatever it is, best not to tempt fate by accidentally giving it some sort of offering. So instead I dump the contents on the floor and flip the bowl over on top of the mess of ingredients on the other side of the room. Not the greatest method of storage, but it’ll do. I need to get some furniture.
I paused there for a moment as I looked down at the jar of blue paste. It’s going to be a pain to have to jug this around as is, but at the same time, I’m really going to need to have some answer to being poisoned. If not for myself, then for the boys. I have quite a bit of hp to use as a buffer at least, they don’t. So I’ll have to suck it up and carry this with me still.
But, now that I have an empty bag, it’s time to take a trip to the persimmon tree. I hopped up to the window, and quickly climbed down into the courtyard. All the other monkeys were happily huddled around the tree, eating fruit that fell from it. Boris however was taking a nap, laid out onto his side, one arm curled up over his face. I passed by quickly to start making my way over to the entrance to the cave and sidling my way along the wall. Getting in here while injured, twice now, I should really make that entrance easier to get in and out of.
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It didn’t take me long to get out of the cave, but this time I figured that if I was climbing, I may as well be using cloud step. After that last showing, it really proved its worth as a spell, and I hadn’t really used it up to that point, but being able to make yourself practically weightless is actually really useful. I casually skimmed along the wall until I came to the beach again, but looking back it was still going to take Lao and Tony a while to catch up. So I sat on the beach for a bit while I waited.
As soon as I can get leveling up again I won’t have to worry about them so much after that. Though I wonder, I evolved when I hit level ten, will they automatically evolve if they start to catch up in levels? I wonder what my next evolution will be for that matter. Assuming that they come at every ten levels, I’m not close to evolving again, but when I do get there, what sort of possibilities would they even give me? Last time I chose matriarch, so what kind of evolution would come after matriarch? Maybe queen? Well, queen is sort of a lofty title for just a level twenty so maybe not.
Once they caught up, we simply followed the cliff face, and given that by this point I’m not really scared of anything in these woods except the centipedes and the mantis, I didn’t bother trying to sneak. Not that it was really an option with these two following me. I still need to figure out how I’m going to teach these guys to sneak, cause just barreling through the jungle causing all sorts of noise isn’t exactly the best strategy in the long term.
We arrived at the persimmon tree again and I started scooping up as many as I could into the bag, totaling up to a dozen of them. Which was more than I’d expected. Come to think of it, once I figure out how alchemy works, if I ever do at least, I bet that these will be an ingredient in a health potion. Which would mean going from healing ten health to something more substantial. For now though, I’m just glad to have these, and also glad they taste good cause otherwise this would be… as soon as I thought about that, I turned and saw Lao with an arm full of fruit, and Tony with his mouth full.
I sighed, but I let them have their snack. I’m a bit surprised they can still be eating after tearing apart those goblins. Though this might be a sort of dog situation, where they’re just going to keep eating even after they’re full. So I give a quick little bark to catch their attention and signal to them that we are in fact leaving. I turned to start walking back to the cliff, hearing the both of them hooting and scrambling to stuff their faces before following after again.
Right now, my plan is to go searching for something that I can hunt with relative ease that has some level of returns to it. I have no clue what I’m going to find up there, but I know at least what it is I’m going to be looking for. The question is what kind of monster is that going to look like? Everything up in the are with the orange leaves is going to be stronger than the average monster down here, so either I should-
Lao Tzu -6 hp
I heard the snap only after I got the notification, whirling around to see Tony jumping away from the shape that had bolted out of the brush and grabbed Lao. The all too familiar shape of that segmented body, the large fangs sunk into Lao’s back as the mass of legs coiled around him. The sight of the giant six foot long centipede tying my stomach into knots as I recalled the last encounter. I rushed in to attack, quickly pulling my ax, but not before the centipede could get in another bite.
Lao Tzu -6 hp, -1 hp
I huffed out a breath, casting windfury on it as I swung forward, practically launching myself at its face as the winds carried me along. I jumped over its head and swung the ax down but the blade slid off to the side, unable to connect. I grit my teeth, my free hand snapping out and grabbing onto its antennae. I slammed the ax down again, this time directly between the jaws, where I felt it connect to something and yanked backwards to drag the head away from Lao.
Lao Tzu -1 hp
Great, and he’s poisoned too. I grumbled under my breath, trying to pull the head back and keep it away from Lao, but it thrashed back and forth, throwing me off. Luckily it also unwrapped Lao and tossed him aside to focus on me again, scuttling forward faster than I could get back to my feet, so instead I took a wide swing to try and ward it away but it didn’t even flinch, lunging right for my face. I felt a panic surge to the forefront and I didn’t even know what happened next.
Lao Tzu -1 hp
My vision came back to me and I realized that the centipede was directly in my face, either one of those beady eyes was looking at me from both sides of my snout. I blinked again before realizing that my reflex was to lunge forward and bite the centipede in the face before it could bite me. Its fangs were just behind my head and I could feel myself being lifted up off my feet and driven down into the ground.
Lao Tzu -1 hp
I could feel the centipede wrapping itself around me, digging its claws into my back, arms and thighs as it tried to pull back for another bite, but my teeth had punctured its shell so when it pulled back it was still stuck to me. I had accidentally trapped it, locking myself into this horrifying vision of its face but also trapping it into being unable to sink its teeth into me either.
-2 hp
Lao Tzu -1 hp
I needed to end this quickly or Lao is going to die of poison. How do I deal the most damage physically possible? I could feel the wing come back to my pseudo-lung and I did the only thing I could think to do. I cast windfury on my teeth and bit down with all the force I could, feeling the muscles in my neck tensing until I was scared something would tear, hearing both the carapace crack as well as at least one of my teeth, a grayish liquid pooling out from between my teeth as they dug into soft flesh beneath the armor.
-2 hp, -1 hp
Lao Tzu -1 hp
The centipede thrashed back and forth trying to free itself as it held me in its grip, until it decided to pull directly back with all its strength, throwing its head back suddenly and I felt like it was trying to rip me in half, but something had to give eventually. The crack I heard followed by a sharp stabbing pain shooting through my skull told me that it was my tooth that broke, ripped out of my face, but with it was a large chunk of the fractured shell in the front of the centipede’s face.
-2 hp, -3 hp
Lao Tzu -1 hp
I watched the centipede pull back, the already horrifying visage now even more viscous as the inside of the skull was exposed, the clearly inhuman brain drooling out the gray goop tinted slightly green. I could even see where the nerves connected to the backs of the eyes. It lunged forward again and I wrestled my arm free to do any damage I could, feeling the fangs pierce my chest and slamming into the open cavity. Crushing the brain in my hand, and pulling back to rip out all the connections.
-2 hp, -6 hp
334 XP
Lao Tzu has leveled up
Tony Luciano has leveled up
I felt the claws gripping my body go limp suddenly, the head collapsing to the side. I pulled myself free and panted quietly, I felt the puncture hole in my side and I was more angry than I was in pain. After all, I’m right next to the tree so I can heal right back up, but I’m more bothered by the poison for one, and the nearly killing Lao. Though a moment later it was definitely the pain. Unlike the other poison that numbed you, as soon as I felt it take effect it was like my entire back was on fire. I am very lucky that the goblins did not have this poison instead.
-1 hp
I stood up slowly, pushing the body away as I climbed out of its clutches. I looked around and saw the small pile of stones clustered around behind the giant corpse where Tony had been throwing them. Tony stood over Lao, who was laid out on the ground, very slowly coming back to his feet. I was glad to see he was alright, I don’t know how close it was for him, but it’s good that it finished when it did.
- 1 hp
I pulled out the sash again, and saw it still had some of the blue gunk on it. Not sure if it would work, but it’s worth trying rather than wasting any more than necessary. I brought it back up to the wound, tying it tight so that it wouldn’t fall and waited a few seconds to see if it was going to work. Also, better to learn this now when I have the opportunity, and not later when I might be in actual danger.
-1 hp
Nope, doesn’t work, so I'll actually need to use more then. I chewed my lip slightly, opening up the jar to scoop some of it with my finger, smearing it on the inside of the sash again, and retying it around my torso. I walked up to the boys and Lao did not look happy even if he was fully healed, being bit still made him grumpy. I reached up and gave both of them a good scratch to the ear, which made him feel a bit better but he still wasn’t smiling.
I came back to the tree, and grabbed a handful of persimmons under one arm, walking back over to the two of them again. I handed the both of them a persimmon, which they happily took, and tore into without hesitation. Hopefully that helps him feel a bit better about everything that just happened. On the bright side they did level up, so they should have a bit more to work with for health.
+10 hp
While I chewed, I picked up the ax, which I dropped when I was grabbed. It did help me out back there, but I still didn’t get through the shell. I need to get better about actually lining up the blade correctly for maximum impact, cause this is twice now that it’s just kind of slid off to the side. I gave a few test swings to see what I was doing wrong, chopping downwards. It looked fine, but when I slashed to the side and realized the problem. When it’s anything but vertical, the weight of the blade tugs it down so it slides off point.
+10 hp
I gripped the handle with both hands, lining up the blade with my knuckles and slightly angled up when I swung which evened it out, though keeping my balance was a bit harder with both hands full, I could stand there for a bit. So when I use the ax I need to either use both hands or stick to straight vertical swings. That’s doable at least. Good to get that sorted before my next actual fight.
I slipped the ax back into my holster, glancing back at the boys who were finished eating, and I was back to full again. Now that I finished up here, I’m going to actually get to what I was actually trying to do. No more distractions, hopefully. I paused, looking at the corpse of the centipede, and knowing that I could probably use the body parts for something more practical, but frankly I don’t want to look at it any longer than I have to, and I still don’t know how to make string yet. As soon as I can make string then I can make all sorts of clothes, or armors, or weapons.
Once again, I was back to the wall, taking a look around to make sure the boys were both following before starting to climb back up. Now to remind myself exactly what I’m looking for. Anything easy to farm xp from. Either one big thing, lots of small things, or anything that stands out as something I can consistently kill with as little danger as possible. Now the chances of any of those things showing up is unlikely, but beggars can’t be choosers. I just have to find the least bad option.
So, with that in mind I climbed up to the top of the cliff, seeing the orange leaves cascading down, it actually made me wonder in passing if the leaves are a color gradient. Like yellow leaves in the forest below, and orange here, maybe later on they’ll turn a deep red? Or maybe considering this is the autumn vale they’ll turn brown and eventually there will be no leaves? Though that kind of implies that there will be something like a winter vale and I really don’t want to be dealing with ice or snow. Hopefully there will just be a new area.
I climbed one of the large trees, scrambling up the vines to get up into the branches faster. The boys however were having a bit of trouble climbing these trees as fast as I was. They must need extra points in their climbing skill to make it easier. Which means that this area of forest is definitely designed to be harder to traverse. Though that said it does imply it was intentionally designed, which I suppose I’m assuming anyways based on the fact that there is a system at all.
Either way, I’ve got work to do, need to focus. I waited for the boys to catch up before hopping from branch to branch, keeping my eyes out for more giant snakes or birds or anything that might be in the branches, and especially for anything camouflaged. I made my way from branch to branch, pausing periodically to let them catch up, when I saw my first contestant. What looked to be a wolf the size of a small horse.
Now, I’m no zoologist but I’m pretty sure that wolves aren’t normally that big. It walked slowly, the reddish brown fur actually blending in with the bark of the tree it was standing behind. Now I may be a brave monkey, but I’m not dumb enough to think I can fight that thing. Even if it’s weaker than the undead boss man, (which I don’t know) as soon as I go down there it’s going to pounce on me and eat me in one bite. Needless to say, not my first choice.
I continued searching, hopping from one tree to the next. Despite being so big, this place seems fairly empty, which is odd. I imagine the creatures around here likely just have a higher hide skill, so I’m not able to find them, that or I just don’t know what I’m looking for in the first place. Though as I thought that, I did see another creature, or supposedly so. It looked like it was a collection of long thin fallen logs on the forest floor at first, but I happened to spot something out of the ordinary.
Near one end of the log I saw it move, it was just barely, but it must be eating something on the ground. Then I noticed the eye, which almost looked like a knot in the log. Then I made the connection that this was a gigantic stick bug… or a log bug in this case. Now if that is all that it does, then I’d be fine with that, but while I was looking at it I got the odd sense that it was more than just that, which was confirmed as I realized what it was eating. A goblin. So, not my first choice, but still better than the wolf.
I continued along the way until I heard the river flowing again. Which means there must be a bend at some point, cause I had been traveling in a straight line. Though with the river, I did see the next candidate come up. It looked like a halfway point between a frog and a lizard. Smooth and slimy looking, with a round body and four legs. The front legs held it up, while the back were crouched down. It had a wide head, with bulbous eyes and a long tail about the length of its body. It looked generally about the same size as me. Not only that, but there were more than one. There were about seven of them laying around in the mud.
Though before I could make a judgment on if it were a good target, I did notice one other thing. One of them has something attached to its side. I couldn’t make it out at first but I saw it pulse and shivered as I recognized it. A leech. Not just a normal one, but a monster sized one about as big as my forearm. It made me shiver just looking at it. Though… Leeches aren’t exactly known for being exceptionally dangerous other than diseases. So if I could find a bunch of those, they might be worth farming.
I wonder about the little frog guys, but they must have something that makes them able to survive up here. Just no telling what it is. I don’t imagine they’re poisonous if the leech is fine, but I can’t imagine they’d be too dangerous to the wolf without something like that. So I waited and watched them to see what it could be.
A few minutes passed in relative silence, occasionally broken up by the frog lizard’s trilling, but while I was watching a shadow passed over me, and passed by. I expected to hear something as the shape the size of a small car zoomed past, but it was dead silent. I froze, my blood running cold as I watched one of the frog things get snatched up and the all white shape flew past, landing on a different branch. A gigantic owl the size of a minivan that started tearing the frog-thing apart

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