《Life would be so much easier if I weren't a monkey》Chapter 37: The golden lion tamarin the witch and the wardrobe

Advertisement

Name: Natasha

Race: Mandrill matriarch lvl 10

XP: 135

Size: 75

Type: Beast

Faction: Unaligned

Armor: 0

HP: 26/100

Strength: 8/Speed: 11/Endurance: 8/Magic: 8/Plasticity: 5/Luck 10

Senses: Vision 4, hearing 4, smell 4, taste 1, touch 2

Abilities: Balance 2, omnivorous 4, aposematism 3, specialized innate magic 6, Voice 1, coordination 2

Skills: Piercing bite 6, Jab 8, grapple and strike 7, precise throw 7, agile climb 7, nimble sneak 6, hide 1, rapid dash 6, dodge 2, block 1, discern weakness and strength 6, mysticism 1, quickstep 1, tumbling 1, leadership 4, mystic channeling 1, adaptability 1, infliction 1

Spells: Wind drake breath 6, windfury 5, jetstream 1, cloud step 1, thunder missile 1, misty path 1

Boss ability: mob boss

Lao Tzu

Mandrill lvl 4

HP:20/20

Tony Luciano

Mandrill lvl 4

HP: 17/20

Okay… I need to do this and I’m on the clock. I am currently poisoned. Which means this is going to be ticking down constantly as long as this takes me to do. I may have five minutes at most. So I need to figure out how to get healed up and fast. Well how do I figure out what can heal me? Easy. I just need these goblins to need healing too, that way I can figure out what I need. However this requires not only they be injured but poisoned as well. So then, how do I deal with this? Simple, I have a poisoned arrow currently in my leg.

-1 hp

I reached down to my hip, gripping onto the arrow tight, biting down onto the bark of the tree. Now, the most important thing here was to not tear anything pulling it out. I don’t want even more bleeding to deal with. I was luckily fairly numb around the hip, but I could still feel the dull pain as I pressed my thumb onto the arrow head, very slowly forcing it back out, trying not to rip anything. I needed to close my eyes, but eventually the arrow did come out, and there was no bleeding. Or at least the status effect.

-1 hp

I looked down at the goblins again, now I just need to pick one that I can hit with this arrow and won’t spot me. I looked around, seeing one that had his back to the village proper, looking out into the jungle and started to line up my shot. Now, I’ve thrown a dart before but never a full blown arrow. I don’t imagine it’s easy, but I do have the accurate throwing going for me. So, I lined it up, leaning off the edge of the branch and wrapping my arm around it to hold on. I wound back my arm and tossed the arrow down to the back of his leg. I heard the yowl of pain before he whipped back around, pointing an accusatory look at the other goblin before spotting one with a bow.

-1 hp

I watched the goblin stomp over to the other, shouting angrily and waving a fist around acting like he was ready to draw his weapon, while the other did much the same. Though after a few seconds the alchemist goblin stepped out of the tent and started yelling at both of them. I watched them fight for a bit before the alchemist pulled out one of the jars, she opened it up and inside it was a thick blue paste. I watched her pull the arrow out roughly before smearing the paste on a piece of cloth and wrapping it around the wound.

-1 hp

Bingo, that blue paste is what I need in order to not die. Now the question is how to get it. I need to get down there, unseen, and grab that pot. Now I’m no pickpocket, or burglar or anything, so I have no clue how to actually do that. Still, I’m on a bit of a deadline, so I’d better think fast. There’s no way to disguise myself, obviously. I’m a monkey. I need to rely on my sneak skill if anything, but how do I get the jar off of her? I wonder. I did fight those humans and knock them out without killing them. Maybe I can just sneak up on her and get her in a choke hold? Knock her out silently?

Advertisement

-1 hp

I have no clue if that’s something that just works in the movies, but I don’t exactly have time to deliberate either, so I start to pull myself up… but I don’t budge. My shoulder is entirely numb, and I can’t lift myself. Crap. I reached out to one of the many vines hanging from the branches above and tried to pull myself up, but moving slowly so I wouldn't get spotted. These vines were probably the only reason they hadn’t noticed me so far. I looked around for a place I could drop in unseen and came up behind one of the peripheral tents with a quiet pad.

-1 hp

I peeked from behind the tent, keeping an eye on the now ticked off goblin that was walking away from his encounter. He was clearly not appreciative of being accused. I waited for him to pass by before slipping up to the next tent. I could hear somebody inside this one, but the flap was on the other side. I circled around to the left but kept out of view from the doorway. Now, I can see the tent the alchemist is in, but it’s right in front of the campfire too. There are at least five other goblins nearby. On top of that, to even get there, I need to cross in front of five tents at minimum, all with one increasingly useless arm, and one totally useless leg.

-1 hp

And a time limit. I grit my teeth as I tucked my numb leg in to catch my knee into my belt, feeling the dull ache shoot up my pelvis and into my stomach, but it meant I didn’t have to worry about dragging my foot. I was able to move a bit faster, but not by much. I passed in front of the first tent, giving a quick peek inside and seeing it thankfully empty. One goblin was passing between tents, which meant I just had to circle around it at the same pace. Once I was around the opposite end, I could see a goblin inside the entrance to this tent, and across the way was another that was pointed the same way. So I was going to need to slip past both at once, hoping neither saw me.

-1 hp

I started to move forward when I felt my left arm buckle. The numbness in my shoulder was getting to be too much for me to carry the rest of my body weight. I took a breath before remembering that I did have a solution to this problem. If my body was too heavy, then I’d just need to make my body lighter. I took one long breath in before activating cloud step, exhaling out as a gentle breeze. The weight on my left arm disappeared, and I could maneuver myself with barely any effort. So zipping across to the next tent was not only quick, but was even more quiet than when I was uninjured. I should think about using this more.

-1 hp

Still, I only had a few seconds of it, so I didn’t waste time. I dug my fingers into the dirt to pivot in place, almost throwing myself forward so that I could avoid as many potential sightings as possible. Though that was a mistake, since as soon as the wind wore off, I was back on my hands again. That wouldn’t have been an issue yesterday, but as soon as my left hand hit the ground the arm crumpled. What would have been barely a gravely scrape turned into a heavy thud. I heard the goblin inside the tent get up to walk to the flap, and all I could do was combat roll with the momentum. They peaked their head out just a moment after I’d tumbled behind a barrel.

Advertisement

-1 hp

I waited there, practically balled up in the fetal position to remain as small as possible, holding my breath as I listened for the front flap of the tent to move again. Not only do I have to worry about this goblin, but then after this there’s the group that are all gathered around the fire. I sat there, listening intently as the goblin looked out. I could hear it saying something in their language. It’s got that sort of rough sound of those more phlegmy languages. Though after a moment I didn’t hear the tent close up, and instead I heard the goblin stepping out and walking away, unfortunately in the exact direction I needed to go.

-1 hp

I waited for the footsteps to get a decent distance away before poking my head up to look. The group of goblins had grown since I’d just looked. It seems like they’re gathering up for lunch? Or maybe breakfast, I don’t know what time it is. Regardless, I’m not sneaking past all of them without being spotted. I grumbled lightly under my breath before once again casting cloud step, feeling my weight practically disappear as I got up onto both hands and sadly only one foot. I hopped lightly and pulled myself forward with a faint pap to try to slip up to a different tent. In order to get to the alchemist tent I’m going to need something as a distraction.

-1 hp

Now making a distraction alone is actually pretty simple, but making one without being seen? I suppose I could try to throw something and make a lot of noise, but what would even work? I peeked around the tent at the group, searching around for anything that would make a decent amount of noise. There were a number of clay pots and jars around that I could break, but how could I break them without being seen? I scanned the ground through the dirt for something like a stone before simply shaking my head. The paths they’ve tread around here were all free of stone. Though maybe I can look inside the tent? It isn’t bolted down after all.

-1 hp

I ducked my head down, poking my snout up under the cloth to peek inside the tent, but as I did, my nose hit a basket. Baskets were not solid. I pushed in further to actually see inside, but was fairly disappointed with the sight. Everything was either fur, fiber or stone, and most of the stone things are way too big to just chuck through the air, or at least unnoticed. That was until I spotted what looked like a small tool made of stone. No clue what it was, but it’s got two little slots in it. My guess, maybe for basket weaving? Either way I snatch the thing. I peeked at a set of small pots directly in the opposite direction as me, and took aim.

-1 hp

Here I paused, taking a breath and waiting for the wind to come back to my pseudo-lung before chuckling the oddly shaped tool end over end. I watched it sail past, traveling what must have been sixty feet overhead, and though it didn’t hit the pot I’d been aiming for, it hit a smaller one just next to it. The jar shattered loudly and all of the goblins quickly jumped back, startled by the sudden sound. I whispered out the breath as soon as I could muster it, bounding over towards the alchemist tent in just two movements. Though as soon as I did, I couldn’t waste any time. This is clearly a high traffic area.

-1 hp

I slipped around the front of the tent, and quickly inside before closing the entrance behind me so that the others didn’t just happen to glance back at me. This was incredibly risky, as the alchemist was just behind me, and luckily at her work table. If I’d just done that and she was looking right at me it would have been game over. I saw her focused on her work, and knew I had to go right now. Just need to make sure that she doesn’t make any noise. So I slipped up behind her with the last few seconds of my cloud step, lining myself up and suddenly pouncing on her.

-1 hp

My arm wrapped around her neck instantly, and the other came around the back of her head. However, I immediately realized the flaw in my plan after I’d done it. While the right arm was able to get around her neck, the left was numb from the shoulder and now partly down the bicep. There was no strength in the grip, so she was being grabbed but not exactly thoroughly choked as I’d anticipated. This was very bad. A fact punctuated by the choking noise she made. So I very quickly pushed on the back of her head with my chest, while the numb arm reached around to clasp her mouth to try and muffle the noise.

-1 hp

It wasn’t exceptionally effective, but it kept the rest from being alerted immediately. She fell backwards on top of me as she wrestled to try and pull my arm free. I took the bump as I collapsed onto my back, feeling the impact in my shoulders mostly, but I was not about to let go just for something silly like pain. The goblin started kicking wildly, but I still only have one foot to try and restrain her with, and even as it clasped to her hip, the other leg was still free to flail about.

-1 hp

I watched, powerlessly as the booted foot clattered against the table leg, squeezing even harder to try and get her to stop flailing. This goblin was going to get me killed if I’m not careful. Still I constricted harder, reaching over and locking my wrist in by squeezing with my chin. It was by no means perfect, but her struggling did slow down quite a bit. I could feel her desperately trying to stay conscious before her hand snatched one of the jars from her belt. My eyes widened as my foot went from her hip to her hand in half a second. Yes, free legs is a bad thing, but having her throw what could clearly have been a medieval grenade at point blank does not sound like it’s good for my health.

-1 hp

She tried to slam her head back into my jaw, but it only hit my collar bone, and as she kicked wildly, I twisted her wrist to get her to drop the jar, but I didn’t have the leverage for it. Meanwhile I could feel a little bit of progress in the choke as her other hand wildly grasped at my elbow, trying to pull me away. All I need to do is keep my hold on her for just long enough that she passes out, but when you’re fighting, every second feels like a minute.

-1 hp

Her kicking meant she hit her heel onto a basket, turning it over and spilling its contents across the floor. It was some sort of root that they’d gathered a bunch of. The hand clutching my arm gave me a swift elbow to the ribs, which loosened my grip enough to let her get some breath before I could tighten it again. This was not good. At this rate I’m going to die of poison before she gets knocked out. I need to speed this up. So I took another breath in sharply, squeezing with all my strength as I puffed out my chest into the back of her head. She made a sputtering choke as I yanked my foot back, pulling the jar from her grasp and letting it roll off to the side.

-1 hp, -1 hp

The now freed hand started clawing at my elbow, digging her fingernails in, but I could feel her getting weaker, even as she bucked her hips up to try and wrestle free, all I needed to do was keep the hold a little bit longer. The strength sapped from her limbs gradually as I felt her fade out and eventually, finally going limp. I stayed in that hold for another two seconds to make sure she was actually unconscious before letting go, and laying out onto my back myself. It was only after that did I notice my neck was numb across the left side.

-1 hp

I took a moment to pant quietly, trying to regain my stamina before finally rolling her off of me and onto her side. I grumbled quietly, before forcing myself up onto my elbow, and spending a moment trying to search through the jars on her belt for the blue paste I’d seen before. There were a number of odd substances, what looked like crushed red seeds, a yellowish powder, some clear goop, and then eventually the blue paste. I quickly took the blue paste, reaching down to my side, where I’d tied the sash and lightly pulled it down.

-1 hp, -1 hp

As soon as it was pulled away, blood started flowing again and I chewed my lip. I smeared the blue paste on the sash, and fastened it back onto my side before tying it back, even more tightly than before. As soon as I had finished the job, I flopped back onto my back. I was more emotionally exhausted than physically, coming within a hair’s breadth of dying yet again. So now all I can do is wait and hope that this actually worked.

I laid there on the floor for ten seconds, then twenty, then thirty, but nothing happened. So the blue paste doesn’t heal you, but it does cure the poison. Good to know. Though I seriously do not want to have to do this every time I get poisoned. So firstly I’m going to be keeping this jar, and second I need to figure out how to make more of it on my own somehow. Maybe there’s like a sort of basic alchemy skill I can grab, or maybe medicine. Though it’s going to be a while before I level up again.

I stayed on the floor for another ten seconds before finally rolling over, though as I did, my shoulder lit up like lightning. I shoved my face down into the ground as the feeling came back to my shoulder gradually. It was like I dropped it into a bag of needles, but those needles were also on fire. Only now after all this did I realize how much what I’d gone through actually hurt. The shoulder was bad but as soon as I felt the pain in my hip, I couldn’t think straight. It was almost blinding. Only after a solid two minutes did I catch my breath long enough to remember my surroundings. I started to try and lift myself again but it was useless. I was going to need to use cloud step just to lift myself.

I had a plan to get into this tent, but not one to get out really, and on top of that, I have no clue how I am going to figure out how to make this blue paste. Though admittedly that’s a bit of a lower priority issue now that I actually have some that I can use. That said, this jar takes up way too much space to lug around everywhere. So I’m going to need to figure out how to make more, and make a better method of carrying it around. For now though, I just reached out and grabbed whatever loose ingredients I could to stuff into my pouch.

It was a relief that I could finally breathe without the constant ticking clock in my face reminding me that I am near death, but even still I find myself wishing that the numbness could have stayed. Where before I was happy just to have my knee tucked into my belt, now that I knew what pain I’d been missing out on I could hardly think of anything else. It was so acute that I could tell exactly what I was feeling. The arrow had broken the joint, right on the ball and socket, and I could feel the two now separate bones rubbing together.

I need to heal badly. Even ignoring the number on my hp being in the single digits, there is no way I can function like this. If I don’t constantly distract myself from it then my vision just starts to go white. I searched around for anything that could heal me around here. Surely she must have a healing potion or something. So I dragged myself up to the edge of the table to look, but all I could see were more jars. I was going to need to search through all of them. Though if she were going to have a healing potion, she would probably be carrying it on her.

I looked again at her belt for anything I could conceivably be a healing potion, and two jars looked like they contained something actually drinkable. The clear goo could possibly be drinkable, and a dark green liquid that looked thick, and I mean molasses thick. Now, normally I would tell anybody that drinking a strange green liquid that you don’t know is generally a bad idea, but I was in enough pain that I didn’t even consider the idea that this might even be the same poison they dipped their arrows in.

Though as I tipped the jar back, and through considerable effort I managed to drink a small dose. I sat and waited for a minute but nothing happened at first, making me think that it was neither. Maybe it was a medicine to cure something else entirely, or not supposed to be ingested. Come to think of it, what if healing potions aren’t a thing? I remember the human woman I stabbed, they didn’t give her a healing potion. They bandaged her face. What if I was supposed to rub this in just like the blue paste? Ah, drinking it was stupid.

A fact that was emphasized by the horrible chalky aftertaste. I coughed a bit, and then quickly covered my mouth, stumbling over to a corner of the tent as I started to feel my chest tighten, and stomach lurch. I was overcome by a familiar feeling, one I knew well from one time I got the stomach flu. The feeling of acid bubbling up into my throat as I tried to muffle the noise all I could. The green glob came back up remarkably unaffected by the process of being eaten.

I dulled the noise by shoving my face into a bundle of cloth in the corner, but it didn’t make it good for hiding my handiwork, the noise almost entirely drowned out by the revelry outside the door. So I eventually finished, the content of my stomach entirely staining the beige colored fabric more yellow. Maybe I should be smart and just cut my losses, get back to the hotsprings again. I didn’t gain much xp, but I know what I’m dealing with now, so I can try again after.

Also hopefully I can go without needing to heal again after just one fight. It’s a bit unfortunate that I can’t see the boys xp either, so I don’t even know how much more I need before they get stronger. On the bright side, I do have proper clothes now, even if they’re too small, and a weapon. A lot that I could do with that one, but I can do the thinking about all of that later. Right now my mind should be focused on just one thing. Getting out of this camp.

I let out another breath for cloud step, taking a significant strain off my heavily injured limbs. I was not going back out the front door again. I walked over to the wall of the tent and tried to lift it. It was much heavier than expected. Like trying to lift a thick quilt. I hefted it up over my head with my good arm, peeking out into the open behind the tent, and saw the way I’d come from wasn’t clear any more. There were two goblins that were near the tree I was on, but it’s fine, I just need to get out of here now anyways.

I started to try and push up the tent, when I heard the groan from behind me. I then learned that movies lied to me. They always showed that when you knock somebody out it lasts for a pretty long time. This couldn’t have been even two minutes. I scrambled to push the cloth up with my elbow, dragging myself out into the open and dropping it behind me. I didn’t waste a moment of cloud step, practically throwing myself to the next tent over… and then over it. Feeling the pain in my hip, I’d put just a little too much oomph in my throw, launching me over the tent, and towards the two goblins.

I could feel my heart sinking as I drew closer, but luckily the cloud step made sure I landed with a gentle pap, quickly ducking behind a tent as the spell wore off. I let out a sigh of relief that I’d not accidentally alerted the horde with one dumb mistake. That is until I heard the blood curdling shriek from the tent that I’d just fled from. She really did wake up quickly.

    people are reading<Life would be so much easier if I weren't a monkey>
      Close message
      Advertisement
      You may like
      You can access <East Tale> through any of the following apps you have installed
      5800Coins for Signup,580 Coins daily.
      Update the hottest novels in time! Subscribe to push to read! Accurate recommendation from massive library!
      2 Then Click【Add To Home Screen】
      1Click