Chapter 11 - Shame

The transparent sheets gently swayed in the slightest breath of air, the golden glow from within the structure lighting them from behind. Winter glanced at Ja’Sessh as they passed through the glowing silks. His form aggressive and movements purposeful as he drew aside the last of the silken layers and met her eyes.

“We shall recover Ekavira and get you and company back to Dagnetheln. I will physically drag her out here if I have t…” he stopped, his eyes falling on Ja’Ekavira in disbelief.

Ja’Ekavira wound herself around the golden shade of Antrandis, her eyes wide and shimmering a vibrant mix of her natural orange and reflected gold. Her soft movements sensual in her attempts to touch the insubstantial shade while her clothes lay discarded and scattered on the grass.

“What is she...?” he said, grimacing in distaste as he heard his sister’s low purring, his eyes followed her movements.

He glanced at Winter and her strangely amused expression before eyeing Ja’Ekavira, “Would you not prefer the real thing over a shade, sister?” he said as he stepped past the silk.

Ja’Sessh stopped as he felt Winter grasp his arm, his eyes quickly meeting hers and her swift shake of the head, “You wish for me to just stand here while she humiliates herself before the both of us?”

Winter shook her head as she watched Ja’Ekavira’s hypnotic movements, “No, but I have a word or two to say before I break her bewitchment.”

Ja’Sessh frowned, glancing at Ja’Ekavira one more time before turning his back to her and meeting Winter’s eyes, “This was deliberate?”

Winter shook her head, “In a small way I wish it was, but it is not of my doing.” her eyes widened further as she saw the track of Ja’Ekavira’s hands, “I would guess it is more due to my presence.”

Ja’Sessh looked at her silently.

“You spoke strongly against your Empress only moments ago. What is your intent?” Winter asked.

“I spoke the truth. I swore my allegiance to you and in turn your Master.” he rumbled, “I had been placed in a token role, an illusion of importance and have been kept amused for a long time through her deliberate meddling, I find that truth both aggravating and unforgivable that I had been kept in place by her thrall.” he said, slowly dropping to a knee, “I wish to be free, unshackled as you allow your spears to be. Free to make a choice of my own, but willing to take up my sword in your name and in service to your cause.”

Winter smiled, running a hand through the fur between his ears, “Is this important to you, Sessh?”

He dipped his head lower, “Yes.”

“You wish for the freedom to be able to voice your concerns, to agree out of duty and respect, not of forced compliance because it is expected of you.” she said softly.

“That is my wish, to no longer be a puppet whose strings are being pulled unknowingly.”

Winter tilted his crimson streaked head up, looking into his pale eyes, “Your kind were never meant to be shackled and forced into a role. But remember, she did what she could, no matter how devious or underhanded to keep you all safe. She made you a puppet to keep you in control, to keep you close.”

She gestured to him, “I want you to look upon her, to see what she is. How, as she trapped and controlled you, she is trapped by her own broken nature. Come.” she said, walking past him and out toward Ja’Ekavira.

For a moment he remained kneeling. His frown deepening before he stood and turned, the image of Ja’Ekavira reflecting in his eyes. While he approached, Winter retrieved the rakshasa’s clothing, shook it out and held it. He stopped before Ja’Ekavira, his eyes tracking her face, seeing the enraptured expression, the enthralled look in her eyes, hearing the indecent and decadent rasp to her purr.

He frowned again, resisting the urge to take her by the shoulders and break her rapture, “She is…”

Winter nodded, “Yes. Something similar happened to me, not what you see here. Different, but similar in its own way, I fought it, denied myself and nature until I broke like a worn out toy, caught in a state of incapacity that just went through the motions of mimicked life.”

She glanced at him, “I will not force you to stay at her side, I will not force you to bend to her word or others of your kin. But I do not expect you to abandon the Ke’Shasan after your impassioned speech and demonstration on the clifftop. You set a precedent, now you should lead by example for the time being, at least until the Ke’Shasan have found their place in the Eld.” she said, her eyes on his, “Or at least until one is prepared to take on your role and its nature as you defined it.”

Winter held up a finger, stopping his response, “I do not want your promise, your immediate urge and pledge to prove yourself of worth. Define yourself with action and words when we reach Dagnetheln. Show those that lead nations that you are strong of mind and will.” she said with a firm stare, “Once we have finished, you will return to Escorath as escort to Ekavira and the number of days she is there you will have as your own.”

Ja’Sessh stared at her, “You are letting me reunite with Jesse?”

She raised an eyebrow, “I think it would be fair to let her lay eyes on you and to be held in those arms of yours for a night or three after Ekavira has been restored. Either that, or she will abandon her post for a number of days. Her will is strong, a good match for your own that you demonstrated a few moments ago.”

Winter shook her head, her gaze already returned to Ja’Ekavira, “I feel that your newfound demeanour would counter and benefit her lack of tact and self-control.”

Ja’Sessh’s large pale blue eyes watched Winter, his frown formed from pleasant surprise at her private and frank discussion, “I never would have thought that she who was once the hand of the Host, the most feared, would in truth be so…”

Winter glanced at him with a warm smile, “You are growing on me, Sessh. You are willing to learn. I am interested to see what you and who you become. I am sure I will be surprised, considering your outrageous entrance into the history of this age.”

A faint rumble of amusement came deep from within him, “I am most thankful for your patience, Steward of the Shadow Realm.”

One of her eyebrows rose along with the smirk that twisted the edge of her lips, “Titles, titles. I wonder those that you will earn.” she said softly, nodding at Ekavira, “Speak to her as you spoke to your other sister. Respect is earned, not freely given. Be firm and demonstrate that you are no longer a puppet.”

She deftly reached through Antrandis’s shade and slipped the golden coin from Ja’Ekavira’s hand, her eyes continuing to follow the rakshasa empress and her gyrations. Glancing at Antrandis’s form she shook her head and slid her thumb over the coin’s surface. Immediately that golden glow started to disperse, his shade fading away before Ja’Ekavira’s glazed eyes. Her movements ceased and she stood silently, her body moving listlessly, tail swaying.

Ja’Sessh stared at her face, her bright eyes dazed and silvery with the ghostly fairy fire that lit the trees and their branches.

“I am finding it hard to not be angry with her. Standing in this place I was never allowed to enter. Seeing her so base, led and controlled by her desire for an imaginary understanding of a man.” he said with vehemence.

Winter nodded, “It shatters the image you had. A stark realisation. You have a right to be angry, furious even. I am not asking you to cast it away or to forgive her, just remember everything she did was to protect and keep others safe. No matter how misguided.”

He glanced at Winter.

“She was never designed to lead.” Winter said softly, “Rule in name only, respected as a distant ideal to work toward.”

Ja’Sessh nodded slowly, “What will happen?”

“Once she has been restored? I am not entirely sure, except she has a role to play, unlike and separate from the Ekavira you know.” she said, “She will remember.”

Winter gave him a quick look and snapped her fingers before Ja’Ekavira’s unfocused eyes.

An aggressive silence followed them, surrounded them, broken only by the sound of shoes and boots on the path and of distant voices and movements as the Ke’Shasan began to ready for the journey to the real. The air itself was heavy with a palpable edge, restrained fury and anger that the woman which led them appeared to not care for. Saffron eyes glared angrily at the demon’s back, a stare that would silence any of those who would come before her, now wasted.

She ground her teeth, her eyes flashing in the dim light under the decaying boughs as the memory of only minutes earlier ran circles in her head. Of being brought back to her senses with a sharp snap and her brother, Ja’Sessh towering over her with a disappointed glint in his eye and blood streaking his face. She scrambled to cover her nudity, only to have that same demon she now followed offering her clothes. The humiliation still burned in her, screamed at her and silenced her.

He did not say a word as he had turned away; his pale blue eyes had said everything that needed saying. Her reign was over. The very reason she had sent him into the real had severed him from her influence. That pomposity and ego had been crushed, in return she saw a man who could never be swayed by her again. She tightened her jaw further, her teeth almost squeaking from the pressure as she watched his broad back and muscular arms that rippled under his white and black-striped pelt. The woman’s mark on the back of his shoulder at the base of his neck, burning brightly through his dense fur, proudly even, the mark of a valkyrie. The mark of demon kin, escorts of death that wore the wings of angels, those angels that were no more, long vanquished and as dead as the gods they served.

She turned her gaze angrily from his back and noted the occasional shocked stare of a passer-by. No doubt, Ja’Sessh’s bloodied and savage countenance drawing their eye before seeing their Empress, dishevelled and shamed, hidden in his shadow. She did not miss their nods and bows, fealty paid in respect to his strength and lack of subservience. Bows that only hours earlier would have been for her. She struggled with the thought, how his return ended in this manner, what words and actions had shifted the Ke’Shasan’s perception of him so drastically in such a short time? Whose blood did he wear? What had she missed as she lost herself to her own desire and frustrations?

She had had to suffer only a few words from the woman who her beloved had wifed. Feeling her command coiled and ready to strike under her skin if she uttered too many words in contention. Knowing that she could be in her mind, ravishing her thoughts, unseen, an ebon viper wrapped in midnight silk for scales. The high demon who wore the skin of the Eladar, the immortal head of the valkyrie. She cursed under her breath, noting the slight turn of the bitch’s head in what could only be acknowledgement. Winter was whole, empowered and his wife, one of three as spoken in her own words. Her saffron eyes flashed sharply in defiance. And she was to be the fourth, a rakshasa to stand among a dragon, a resurrected child of the old world and a bitch she-demon.

“Do not forget, you were smote from the waste of this bitch she-demon’s making, the flakes of stone refuse that were picked from the floor, Empress.” came the voice of Winter, the voice snaking back to be heard in her mind.

“You and your kin might as well be from my own flesh and blood. Control your thoughts Empress or the ambassador of Knocht will know more than you know about yourself.” Winter said calmly in warning.

Ja’Ekavira’s saffron eyes narrowed, momentarily disoriented with Winter’s shift in speech. Those eyes narrowed to slits as she heard Ja’Sessh’s rumbling chuckle at her expense.

“I shall be more tempered the next we meet. Harks of the Aletere is not one to be treated lightly.” she heard Ja’Sessh agree.

A faint jagged shift of her lips exposed her teeth as she attempted to control an unbidden snarl, her ears slicking back in anger while he walked with his back shown to her in disrespect.

“Walk in your place, Sessh.” she growled with a waspish hiss, “You have no business to walk before me and instead behind where you belong.”

His ears pricked momentarily before settling, his movements unhurried as his voice reached her, “I walk where I will, Sister. Until you are whole, you can not order me into action, though even then I might not be moved. I will only respond to Winter or Antrandis of Darkfall, the guarantor of our and our people’s survival on the Eld.”

She glared, her eyes angry in their intensity, “You have discarded your allegiance to me for the one who marked you with barely a thought.” she commented acidly.

She watched his head half-turn and heard the start of an amused rumbling chuckle.

“An allegiance that was misplaced is easy to discard, Sister. I have only been found by what I have been searching for. You kept me easy to manipulate, now I truly understand the kindness Jesse has bestowed upon me. Her mark has severed that leash you bound me with and until you have found yourself, I can no longer trust you or your word delivered through others.”

She continued to glare at his back, “Jesse? Is this another name you use Winter? Is that mark on his back, that glowing band around his thumb not yours?”

Ja’Shessh’s chuckle grew louder, each sound a low thunder in her ears. She quickly stepped forward and clawed at him, pulling at his arm with her hands until he stopped and turned, his pale eyes looking down at her not with anger, but sadness.

“You sent me to be humiliated, Sister. To be caught or captured by Antrandis just to deliver a message. You took my pride and belief and in your own words to him, you stated that I was little more than a child with few uses, a stubborn child that plays at being a warrior. You have no one to blame but yourself for your downfall in my eyes, Sister. You had this intent that I am no longer blind to.” he said calmly.

He gestured to his face, “This blood I wear is the blood of who was deemed responsible for attacking the representatives of Antrandis and Meliandra. The one who enacted my order with great zeal and ambition, unaware of the risk he had brought down upon our people. This is the blood of his punishment, the blood of my shame.”

Ja’Ekavira winced as he brought his hand close.

“I am a father and a hero to a child that died, a child whose spirit found a moment of safety and peace in my company before she passed on to the Forge of Souls, content after walking for years in the Shadow Realm in fear. This band is her gift to me and I wear it proudly.”

He bent to her level and she recoiled slightly, his bloodied visage before her eyes, turning slightly to expose Jesse’s mark.

“You shall meet the one who gave me this gift, this blessing of freedom. The woman who swept your veil from my eyes. She is one of Winter’s Spears, a commander, wild and untethered, passionate in her pursuit of what she wants and at the same time, gentle and caring, taking the hand of one as confused as myself and leading me from my fear. Her mark is a promise, it is a mark of ownership if I accept it.”

He faced her, his pale blue on her saffron, “As you are, I am no longer yours to command.”

She stared at him as he turned away and continued to walk, her eyes meeting Winter’s as he passed her.

“Have you accepted?” she asked of his back.

Without slowing, she heard his voice fall back to her, “Yes, Sister. I have.”