Lucia's Point of View

Pendragon Estate

Have you ever had one of those times where you become completely conscious when you wake but don’t move? Your eyes don’t open, no change in breathing, and all while becoming completely aware of everything that is happening or being said?

“How is she?” Arthur’s voice called out.

“Lucia will be fine. You worry too much.” Marina responded. “She has a fire going, her complexion is fine, and the Farro family has continually checked on her over the last week.”

“Ayda said she’d wake up within a week.” He sounded frustrated.

“It was speculation and an estimation. She can’t be perfect. Especially when dealing with your energy. Lucia was put in a coma from it before, but Ayda suspects she’ll wake up any day now.” Marina told him, after revealing my weeklong slumber. “Are you okay?”

There was a shuffling throughout the room before I heard someone sit off to the side. “Yeah.” Arthur let out in a tired tone.

Marina was silent for a moment. “You should get some rest. A night without being in here will not hurt her. Go sleep in your own bed.”

Arthur quickly replied. “I’ll be fine.”

“Will you?” Marina questioned. “Father, Lucia will be fine, but if you become-“

“I know!” Arthur cut her off as an anger entered his voice. “I know…” He said again, but softer. “Were I able to, I would keep her here. Safe by my side. How much have I missed of her life?”

“You’re here now. That must count for something.”

“Does it? I keep making the same mistakes over and over again. To aid Elias, I abandoned Mara. To try and find Mara while aiding the Dwarves, I put Lucia at risk.”

Marina’s voice lowered. “You can’t be everywhere at once. This line of thought is dangerous. I know where it might lead you.”

She seemed to be suggesting something, but it wasn’t anything I understood. “I’m a horrible father, Marina.” Arthur told her in such a resigned tone it made me want to cry. “We both know what I am. I won’t change.”

“Lucia never asked you too. She understood both your assault on the Succubae, and on Arceana. Maybe she would-“

“Not even I understand, Marina. The things I’ve done… Thana is a nightmare, but she pales in comparison to me. You know it is true.”

“That remains to be seen. Thana is truly an abomination that experiments on anyone and anything. You’ve never done such things to my knowledge.”

It sounded as if Arthur stood, and he moved to the side of my bed before he sat down gently. I could almost feel his eyes on me as I remained motionless. This wasn’t the time to reveal I was awake, and I definitely didn’t want to miss what they were discussing. Arthur’s hand brushed a hair from my face. It startled me. The sudden contact, but I was able to stop myself from flinching.

Arthur continued. “I’m many things. A liar, hypocrite, and probably one of the most unstable people to ever live. Without my energy, I become volatile. Even with it, my actions are strained. I’m not a good person, and I’m certainly not the hero that these people think I am.” He scoffed. “Did you know the Dwarves think of me as a god? Me?”

Another short silence. “…” She eventually responded. “I imagine that irritated you.” Arthur didn’t reply. “People can change, Father. You, yourself, have changed since you came here.”

“We both know that’s not true. I’ve become attached to her.” He then chuckled. “I’d like to say the same for all of you, but you know that had Aydan told the truth-“

Marina cut him off. “You never would’ve created us.” She finished for him.

“How can you say I’ve changed when you know it’s not true.”

“Because I believe it is true.”

Arthur’s hand moved away from me. “I want to change. To be better. For her. Like I should’ve done for her mother.”

Moving to the other side of the bed, I felt Marina’s weight rest on the bed. “We both know the lengths you will go to, to protect your daughter.” She told him. “Use that.”

The man sighed frustrated at that. “I want to! Believe me, I do, but keeping her here… Locking her away is no different than what Arceana and Elincia did to her. That’s no kind of life to live. I want her to be free. To be able to go wherever she wants whenever she wants.”

“The world isn’t a place where she could do that.”

“It could be… In the future…”

This time, Marina sighed. “Who you are… Who you’ve been… It doesn’t matter. Lucia matters. Many look up to you. She’s one of them.”

The man grunted in disapproval. “She’s better than me. Never before have I met someone so quick to forgive and so trusting. I want her to keep that naive outlook.”

“With you here, she might be able to. You are on edge. Everyone can see it.”

“As you said, someone has to be.”

“Not from Thana, or the other problems of the world, but because of Lucia. You saw something that deals with her. Thus, you pushed her into training.”

Arthur became quiet at that. “Nothing will happen to this child. I won’t let it.” A weight moved from the bed, and I heard Arthur walk over toward the fire. “Never again.”