Chris V

I’m losing my sense of self as the days go by. Things are getting harder to comprehend as they happen. Marina makes no sense. I don’t make any sense. Can you?

People like us are attracted to each other. It’s how she found me. We’re all destined to converge at one point or another. Yet I only met her. She says there are two others like us in this state. I’m supposed to meet them too?

I had the leave the building when the news broke that Lyle murdered that guy. I had to go for a walk. None of this makes sense. The two others who are just like us lived with Sergio Dolore. Marina didn’t say it but it’s clear that Lyle was after them. He’s collecting us and for what, to revive Golden Hearts? Did Marina tell him where they were? Have I been played? I thought I could trust her.

The floor starts to be filled with water. In no time my ankles are surrounded by a puddle. It gets to my knees, then my waist. I can still walk so I do. Everything around me becomes underwater as I walk across the street.

“Why do you hide from what you are?” A voice behind me says.

As I turn, I see a fish. “What?”

The world around me is confided by a two-by-four glass box. It’s now me and this fish, underwater. “You are scared man! You’re scared of the things you can do!”

“I’m not scared.”

“Then why do you hide away inside your little head? I’ve been watching you, Chris. You act like you have this deep understanding of everything around you, of how the world is. You have everything figured out except yourself. You’re afraid that you can actually change the world for the better. But you’re more afraid that you can’t.”

“This isn’t real.”

I’m going crazy. I’m going crazy. I’m going crazy.

The fish swims around me. “The guilt you have over Elizabeth’s death is driving you crazy, not me.”

“If I did, what does that mean about free will? I saw what was going to happen. I was supposed to stop her. That free will is what killed her. Are you saying that it’s better I just confine myself to fate?”

The fish laughs. “Freedom isn’t bound by choices. There’s no such thing as fate. There’s no such thing as free will. It’s just life, man. It doesn’t have to have meaning, it doesn’t have to make sense. The better you can understand that, the better you can understand what you can do?”

“How can there be no such thing as either? There either is or isn’t.”

“You think too much.”

“How can I not?”

“You’re trapped because you've been convinced you can’t change. Insanity always lingers and your thinking is bringing you to the brink,” Mr. Fish continues to circle around me. “Break yourself from your chains.”

I put up my middle finger.

“Look around you, what do you see?” Mr. Fish says but he disappears. There’s no one around. The two-by-four glass box is gone but I’m still underwater.

As I look around, I stop something shining in the distance. I make my way there and the light only gets brighter but I can’t make it out. I look back and there’s nothing there, the streets have disappeared. The shining light in front of me only gets bigger.

*bonk*

I run into nothing.

Nothing is in front of me except my reflection.

Oh. Right.

I’m just a fish

A hand grabs my wrist. The second it does, everything goes back to normal. What a relief.

Marina has her hands on her knees, audibly panting. She signs, “I finally caught up to you.”

“Why did you tell Lyle? I thought I could trust you.”

Marina’s breathing slows down. These are the first noise I’ve heard from her. Once she composes herself, she signs, “I didn’t. He shouldn’t even know about them!”

“Then what does he want? Does he know I’m just like you?”

Marina shakes her head, “You think I wanted this to happen?! He doesn’t know. I’m just his pet.”

“Then what?!”

“Nothing.”

Nothing?

“I haven’t been free since I was a little kid. I’m nothing more than his pet, just like the other girls. I’m just a freak to him. That’s all he wants, a collection of freaks.”

“You just want to be free.”

“It’s my dream.”