Chapter 40: The Bolt and the Many

Diana said nothing as Kiara's eyes stayed on her for a moment. She said nothing as the others entered the resort and nothing as she followed their presence back to the room. Several minutes of silence passed all the while, but, she supposed, at least Keigo hadn't run away. He looked like he wanted to, however. Although he stood aside, waiting for her to approach, she noticed the subtle hints of a boy ready to flee. She remembered them, in fact, and laughed to herself as she finally went over.

“I ended up with a small bounty hunting party after we split.” She leaned on the house beside him. “I knew I'd need money and I thought I was pretty good. I just needed to make sure they thought I was someone else. I think you would have been proud of how I did it.” She smiled at him.

He tried to give one back. “I’ve seen you act. I don’t know how you could make me prouder.”

“Nah, this was different! I dyed my hair brown, changed how I dressed, how I talked, how I pointed things out. I even stopped following the Forward Society. It was a pain! But I knew I’d be too excited and want to talk about it with someone.”

“You had me. You could have sent a note.” In fact, she sent some multiple times. They always stayed in contact, but…

“Sometimes I didn’t want them to see me smile. I didn’t want anyone to ask what I was writing or who I was writing to. I didn’t know how to explain why he wasn’t there with me.” She frowned. “I didn’t know what I wanted to say.”

“You could have said anything. I wouldn’t have cared.”

“Yeah, but I didn’t even know what I wanted to say to myself. I would stay up late sometimes, thinking about it.” She looked to the sky as if she was back in those moments. “Why did he leave? Why was he afraid? Would I get in his way? Was I not strong enough? Would I make his life hard again?”

“You never made my life hard!” Keigo shouted. “And you’re plenty strong. You were always strong and the troupe just made you stronger. You were amazing.” Keigo smiled, but a silent sorrow claimed it.

“Not amazing enough. I kept trying to get stronger and stronger. I thought I had to be, because when I introduced you to Daphne I wanted us to all be able to stay together. I thought I got stronger too, until that demon.” She felt like she was the only one who couldn’t fight him anymore. Even if Danson’s magic was weaker, she was the only one who couldn’t bare her fangs. Then Keigo had to save them.

His jaw tightened.

She sighed. “Yokumori…that word stuck with me. I think you said something different last time though. “Yokumori bestow me.” I don’t think I realized it was spirit magic back then. I just thought that you were a lot stronger than I ever guessed.”

“You can’t compare yourself to the forest! Even dragons are careful around Yokumori. I’m nothing without it!” He let his eyes fall. “At least nothing like that.”

"But I still thought about it." Diana shook her head. "Maybe if I was that strong, you and I could travel together. I wanted to ask you over and over if that's why we had to split, but I wasn't ready to hear the answer. Now, it looks like you're going to leave again and I can't stop thinking that I'm still not strong enough! I can't keep you by my side, or even reach Daph." Her heart raced, and her pitch went up.

“Diana…”

“I don’t get it, Keigo! I don’t get why it feels like I’m about to lose you again.”

“You’re not!”

“Then why does it look like you’re about to run away!”

“I’m not!”

“Then why are you scared? Why can’t you tell me? How do I become someone you can talk to?”

“Stars, Diana! That’s not it! You’re perfect! You’re amazing! You’re so many things that I’m,”—he breathed hard and deep—“That I’m not.”

Defeat almost claiming her, Diana responded, “What are you saying?”

“I’m not good like you, Diana. It’s not just being an assassin or having a bounty. I’m just not as good as you, and I don’t want to see you hurt because of that.”

"Not as good as me?" She couldn't believe her ears; couldn't help but laugh. Or maybe it was that she didn't want to believe them? She couldn't believe the good Keigo saw because she couldn't believe it herself. "I'm not good." She said with a sigh. How had she never told him this? "I'm the reason we had to leave the troupe. I'm the reason we had to split up."

His eyes said he didn’t understand, but he was speechless. She sighed again. Now was the time to share something she had cruelly kept to herself.

“Honestly, I think I even knew it would happen. I hoped it wouldn’t. Sometimes, I hoped it couldn’t, because we were never in one place too long. But, if I used my sense, I would have known the truth.”

It started shortly before the two of them met; shortly after her father convinced the world that Daphne had been killed. Never a man to spend time with his children, he took to traveling the Green Lands, seizing on the people’s sympathy. He wasn’t so foolish as to leave his kids alone, however, especially not so soon after the truth Diana later learned. Daphne was “dead” not because she mistakenly trusted the wrong commoner, but because she underestimated their father’s ego. Dalton Fillmore would not suffer the same insult twice, and the attendants he brought to Diana and her brother were his play against it.

“They weren’t a lot older than Declan and me. One was half-Foja and around my age. He was like an older brother to Declan and they got along. The other—the one he assigned to me—was older than me but younger than Daph. She was half riftborn too, but nothing gave it away but her teeth. She’s the one who attacked us before we split. Her name was Tizarae…”

And Tizarae was cold. While the Foja boy made quick friends with her brother, Diana had no delusions about what Tizarae was. She was only there to keep the girl in check. There was never a smile, never a moment where the girl felt comfortable. There was only Tizarae watching like a trained dog.

“It made mourning Daph so much harder. I never wanted to be home, and I couldn’t focus on school. I was sad all the time, until I overheard some commoner kids handing out flyers.”

A new shop was opening in the academic district. Their father was the owner, and there’d be a club where they could make Forward Society trinkets. Most children of merchants and lesser nobles had no interest in such a thing, but the words were music to Diana’s ears.

“I couldn’t go as Diana Fillmore, though.”

So she found a disguise, making herself a bright-eyed commoner too. She went back after school one day and found the place welcoming. It was better than she had ever expected. There were different magic texts, different magic materials, and different means of working them together awaiting her growing curiosity. The shop itself was just a toy store, but the sitting area on the second floor was like a second home. A few other kids had come too, and they all loved what they were learning. No one even looked at Diana long enough to wonder who she was. They were too captivated by their activities, too engrossed in the things that’d make Magdalea like the fictional Nandaxia.

"They would have loved to meet Kiara and learn that her world is real." Diana laughed. "But I'll never get to tell them about her." She held the smile but balled her fist.

“What happened?”

“Tizarae happened.”

One day, when Diana was late after school... She knew the group would start without her, so she wasn’t worried until she finally arrived. A crowd gathered around the storefront, shattered and bloodied glass keeping them back. Panic swelled as she saw them, and pushing through only made the matter worse. Chest tight and heavy, she found Tizarae with a squad of Fillmore guards. Her friends were wrangled, and the storeowner bled profusely from scars she couldn’t see. Tizarae had a foot on his mangled fingers. When she spotted Diana, she gasped. It was the only time the noble girl saw the woman’s expression change. And it was terrifying.

“Lady Diana! Thank the stars you’re safe. I was afraid these lowborn had tricked you like they did Lady Daphne!”

“What have you done!” She remembered the way she said those words—sorrow and fury mixing into a wail.

“I tried to get information out of them, but they wouldn’t cooperate. They denied that they knew you. I didn’t want to hurt the kids, so I hurt him instead.” Tizarae removed her foot. The damage was bad enough that bones broke the skin. “I got word that you were spotted here, so I knew something was up.”

“They didn’t know who I was!”

“I’m sorry Lady Diana, but I can’t believe that. You’re a noble daughter and they are in your family’s territory. They should have known right away who you were. They were surely just trying to lure you in.”

The betrayed looks hurt more than the attendant’s deception. There were pleas in bloodshot eyes, wanting answers or at least an end to this misery. Diana didn’t know what to say, but she knew no words would ever be enough. She sucked down a whimper and pointedly looked at Tizarae.

“Let them go.” It was an order, and the woman’s facade shuddered under it. For just a moment it felt like that order would lead to something more, but the attendant didn’t let the moment last long. Diana saw it, she desperately wanted to attack but was forced to obey.

“Of course.” She said as evenly as possible.

The guards stepped away from the children, and Diana approached the father. She sucked in a breath. She had ruined their lives but was far from done.

“I’m banishing you from the Fillmore territory. You’ll find that means all of East Nithellan is off limits too. I suggest you move quickly. See if the separatist will take you.” She had to be cold, if there was one ounce of mercy Tizarae’s cruelty would seize it.

“Later, after the crowd was gone and I was alone with her, she told me the truth. I didn’t need it, but it wasn’t for me. She knew I was sneaking there from the start. She wanted me to feel safe before she taught me a lesson. My life belonged to my father and she was there to remind me. I grieved for Daphne more, until I guess my tracking sense awakened? I ran away after that, but I knew Tizarae would never let me have peace. I don’t know how she found out the first time but I didn’t think she’d give up. I had three years to tell you and the others, but I was scared of being alone. We saw how that turned out.” She laughed sadly. “Does a good person ruin lives and do it over again?”

Keigo chewed her words in silence.

She breathed deeply, preparing for his response. Would he rebuke her? Would he curse her for shattering his peace? Would he voice every line of hate she threw at herself in her worst moments? What would Keigo do?

“I killed a friend.” Tell the truth, it seemed, in a whisper. “It was a while before I met you, a few months after I escaped the Spirit Guards.”

That was already more than he told her before. He was never cagey about being an assassin, certainly not after killing hitmen to save her life. Eventually, he told her about being a spiritualist too. But his life before her was still shrouded in mystery. This was the first time he dropped the veil, and her eyes must have encouraged him to continue, for he did.

“My mother was the patron for Yokumori, which made her enemy number one for the Spirit Guards. I told you my dad tried to seal it, right? Well, my mom’s ancestors have never been trusted by the Spirit Guards, because of how powerful Yokumori is. One named Hijikata Oshiro became extremely concerned when my parents started fighting a crime syndicate that operated in the Spirit Circle. A lot of their spirits ended up sealed away in the forest.”

“That must have looked like they were stockpiling weapons.”

Keigo nodded, “It wouldn’t be the first time someone tried either. Still, Hijikata wasn’t going to convince the Spirit Guards to attack the forest, not with some of them working with my parents, and others believing it was too risky. So, somehow, he recruited a member of the Magic Council and his second…”

The day was bright in a way Keigo liked back then, with the sun shining through the leaves above. He was playing on the outskirts at the time, in a village recently built by those grateful to his family. His brother was home from a stay in the Triumvirate, and for once it didn't seem like there was a mission on the horizon. Despite being a killer, he felt like a normal kid, blending in so well that he was just another bystander when Hijikata appeared. A small part of his unit was with him, but they didn't compare to the foreigners that walked in tow. One was a fit man with short sandy brown hair and strange weapons fastened at his hips. The other was a woman of average height and slender build, young like her commander, with short brown hair, tan skin, and pink eyes.

Diana didn’t need their names. Thane Almatt and Sasha Almatt were the strangers in this tale, though she supposed the woman wasn’t an Almatt at the time. She knew about their involvement, but not how the story went…

“I ran back home as fast as I could, and told them everything. But, between Hijikata’s unit and the two from the Mainland, it didn’t matter. They got past the forest and found us. I didn’t think my family could lose, but my mom told me to hide until the conflict died down. I thought it was safe when it did, but an underling caught and took me to Hijikata. He was ready to kill me, but Sasha stopped him.”

“No, no! We will not be killing a kid!”

“That child is a part of the forest. If we let him go the spirit will channel through him completely. His life is not worth the troubles he’ll cause later.”

“Maybe you misheard me. We are not killing a kid. Not me, not you, not Thane. You can try, but you know what’s really not going to be worth the trouble?”

It seemed like the two would fight for a moment, and trapped as he was, Keigo couldn’t use it to escape. Hijikata backed down first, however, choosing to meet the woman in another place instead.

“You’re an abyss born, right?”

“I am.”

“Then let’s use a blood seal instead. With Abyss Ichor, even Yokumori can be weakened. We’ll seal the boy and lock him away.”

“They did and for a while I was just stuck there. The seal wasn’t enough though. My family was gone and my chest wouldn’t stop hurting. All I could think about was revenge. Against Hijikata, Thane, and Sasha. That was all I was, until I found away to escape. I thought killing Hijikata would be the hardest, so I went after the other two first. It took months to get from the Dens to the East Wing, and by the time I got there I was weak. I passed out and a brother and sister found me.”

“Sis, over here!” Keigo remembered those first words through a haze. There came the sound of shoes on grass next, and then an older girl.

“I don’t know how you spotted him, but good eye.”

“Do you think he’s an orphan, or a runaway? He’s in bad shape.”

“Why are you pretending like you haven’t already decided to take him home? You planned to before I even saw him.”

“Because we’re a team.”

The girl sighed, “Go ahead, Ballard. It wouldn’t be right to leave him anyway.”

“This was six years ago?” Diana interrupted.

Keigo nodded. He knew she had caught on. It was impossible not to. Based on that time frame and name, there was only one Ballard that came to mind.

“Ballard Weller.” She covered her mouth.

Keigo nodded again, "Ballard and his sister, Bianca. They were kind to me." Feeding him, bathing him, and giving him a place to sleep.

The Weller siblings lived in a private home in an Enforcer compound. Their father worked closely with the faction, after all, and their mother had been one. Both of them got their sense of justice from her, and because of it, Keigo’s heart hurt a little less. When Bianca trained, Keigo spent time with Ballard, making a true friend for the first time.

“He was great.” Keigo smiled at the memory.

First, a demand to his father to let Keigo stay. Then there was day after day of being a kid again. Ballard loved to talk about Enforcers doing heroic things. He followed papers like Diana followed the Forward Society, always rushing to tell Keigo about one successful operation or another. He talked about what type of Enforcer he’d be, and what type of training was best for him. Ballard was a normal nine-year-old, but Keigo…

“I wasn’t.” His smile broke with a sigh. “I thought I was for a while, or that I could be. I even taught Ballard some of my training, and started believing his idea that we could be an Enforcer duo. I almost forgot what brought me to that compound, until Ballard wanted to let me in on something…”

Quite literally let him in. Ballard knew how to get under the floorboards of the compound. He had even found secret nooks, places where he could hear the room above him. He found one under his father’s office and that’s where he took Keigo that day.

“You’re going to love this.” The boy beamed as he led the way. “He’s going to have a meeting today and I know who it is! This’ll really convince you to become an Enforcer.”

Keigo knew they were in the right spot when Brand Weller’s musings reached them.

“According to the boy, Gyo is the practice of manipulating your aura. It’s the foundation of spiritual magic, and doesn’t use your magic particles. Could I improve this process to make a magic-less combatant?”

“He’s still on that.” Ballard snickered.

A knock came at the door.

“It’s opened.”

“Dr. Weller, guess who’s back!” The voice struck Keigo like a fist to his chest. “Oh, who am I kidding, Brand knows when his favorite son is home!”

“If you’re my son, Thane, I’m going to be expecting a higher budget. I equip all the Enforcers in the East Wing and I can’t get a fully equipped lab?”

“Someone’s testy!” Thane laughed. Brand sighed.

“Elven crimes are apparently on the rise. Enforcers have been getting antsy, which means I have to solve this problem. Because, apparently, it’s not in your employee handbook or something.”

“Doesn’t help that the Great Brand Weller wants to out do the elf killers.”

“They only make matters worse!”

“Blair would be happy, you know? You’re still keeping up the fight. Bianca too, apparently. She’s been the talk in the mess hall lately. People see her mother in her.”

“Well, unfortunately for my daughter, she’ll likely be getting my frame. Ballard too for that matter. They certainly won’t strike as imposing a figure.”

“They’ll make it work! Give it five more years, tops! Before I know it, they’ll be Enforcer Elites!”

“Which brings you to why you’re visiting.” The doctor laughed.

“As matters have it, it does! You know me so well, dad.”

“Get on with it, Thane. I’m about to have a breakthrough here.”

“I was wondering if you could design some custom gear for my elites. We have a big mission coming up, and I want my best to be prepared.”

“Such as Sasha?”

“I get what you’re implying, doc, but we aren’t like that.”

“That was not what I was implying. As matters have it, Ballard made a request for her himself. I’m sure he’ll be happy to hear you’re not on her mind though.”

The men laughed, but Ballard shook his head frantically, denying the implication. Keigo barely heard him over the thundering of his heart, however. His mind was hazy, a heat inside it burning all his senses away. Thane Almatt was here and within reach. He just had to find a way to get close.

“Well, send Ball to my office later then. He can get the details from me, and I’ll try to make sure Sasha’s around. I probably should warn him though, if Sasha’s the type of girl he likes, he’s going to be dating a lot of troublemakers.” Thane chuckled.

“I’ve already prepared myself for when he’ll bring home a queen of the underworld.”

Ballard flushed but grinned. Keigo glared at him.

“Your magic…” Diana murmured. “You have to kill someone to copy them.” She knew where this was going. It felt like something stabbed through her chest.

“I didn’t kill him in the tunnel.” Keigo couldn’t meet her eyes.

It wasn’t a consolation, but wasn’t an insult either. Even with a part of him screaming that he had to do it, he wasn’t going to wound his friend like that. He wasn’t going to make his death worse than it had to be. He wasn’t going to make it any more painful than it already was. But, as they left the tunnel he knew he had to do it.

“I used a poison that makes you drowsy. He didn’t even notice when I pricked him, just yawned and said he was going to take a nap. I tucked him in and made it look like he was sleeping peacefully. When he passed, I headed to Thane’s office an hour ahead of schedule.”

Diana knew how the story went from there. An assassin came for Thane Almatt, attacking him in his office. The councilor put up a good fight, but poison eventually did him in. The assassin escaped, and later the world found out that Ballard Weller was targeted too. Authorities suspected the plot had something to do with the upcoming mission. Thinking about it now, Diana supposed that was why she never suspected anything. Even when he first told her how he got his bounty, she didn’t give it a second thought.

She mentally thanked the troupe for teaching her how to control her face. She kept it blank, even as the emotions claimed Keigo. His jaw clenched, his body trembled, and his hand opened and closed.

“Sasha knew right away, and changed the parameters of the seal. It was meant to suppress Yokumori at first, but now it tracks me when I use its power. If I use it she knows where I am, and anyone she’s blooded knows too. The elites from that day all took some of her blood. The nearest one always comes for me.”

“And that’s why you ran back then.” Diana knew she wasn’t ready to fight an Elite then, and wasn’t sure if she was now. “And that’s why you’re about to run now.”

“Ballard died because of me. I don’t deserve to run away from my punishment but I don’t want you to die too.”

“I don’t want you to die either!” She cried. “I don’t want to worry when we could just fight together!”

“I don’t want you fighting for something like this!”

“I’m not fighting for something I’m fighting for someone!”

“Why? I just told you I’m a monster! I gave you all the proof you need.”

“Because, you idiot, you weren’t a monster when I met you! Even with blood on your hands, you were kind and looked after me. We survived because we worked together! We survived because I could depend on you! You were a monster before I met you? Well, were you a monster when we camped? Were you a monster when we played? Were you a monster when we did our first play together? And if you were, then what was I? Am I innocent because you had to save my life?”

The troupe wasn’t traveling the Green lands anymore. There were no pop-up performances or silly nights with the crew. She destroyed that, not Keigo, and she still wished she was smart enough to do something different. But, she was a kid that was scared of being alone.

“You were small too.” Despite how many lives he might have taken. They met five years ago. How did he spend two years alone? “And running to your death isn’t how you make amends. I don’t think Ballard would tell you to do that.” She pulled him into her arms. “Don’t run off and die by yourself. Let’s live and be better together.” He shook.

“I have to do this.” He said still, and Diana let out a shriek. “Please, just let me do this one last time.”

Brow furrowed, she let him go and looked at him. There was nothing on his face that said he'd change his mind. Despite the clear misery, there was still a stubborn belief that this was his fight and his fight only. Diana grimaced, tried to think of the right thing to say, and stomped her foot instead. She was beaten and couldn't tell if she was more sad or more angry.

"Fine." She said. She could rush after him, but in this fight, would it be better if he spent all his energy fretting over her? "But we're not done talking. You have to come back so I can yell at you."

Keigo smiled but didn't respond to her effort to lighten the mood. Instead, he did his hypnotic trick, leaving only an afterimage to hold his expression. Diana fell against the Traveler's house. This felt like a loss, but she'd take it as a battle instead of a war. She'd trust him to come back, simply to stop her from going after revenge…

[Chapter 40 ends…]