When I was finally released from Alara’s death hug, I took a moment to examine our would-be party member more fully.

In a lot of ways, he seemed… underwhelming. Dark circles hung beneath his eyes, accentuating a seemingly perpetually lazy gaze. He held himself with a slight hunch, as if anything else would be too much of an effort. Short, curly hair sprung out haphazardly from his head as if sheared down without much thought, and his light gray garb did little in the way of making him appear less muted either.

If there was a single feature that stuck out about him, however, it was his belt. Despite being normal brown leather, it was without a doubt the most ridiculous piece of clothing I’d ever seen. The entire thing looked like some sort of distorted lovechild of Batman’s utility belt and inspector gadget’s arsenal, enlarged several times over. Tons of liquids and powders were visible in glass flasks, and I could only imagine there was even more squirreled away in the various pouches and pockets.

That has to be a class thing, right? I hit him with God’s Eye in an effort to confirm.

Oachin’Larin*: Level 16 Combat Reagent Reductionist, 250/250hp, 180 Prestige

*This target is obfuscated. Obfuscation broken.

That’s supposed to be a healing class? Before I could broach the subject, somewhat to my surprise, Alara boomed out.

“Good! You have chosen wisely! You have prepared a pitch, yes? We look forward to hearing it and being impressed by your prowess!” She crossed her arms, looming over the alchemist like some god of justice, ready to weigh his pros on cons on some scale before judging him.

Honestly, I figured she’d just accept him immediately. Guess she takes the adventuring stuff more seriously than I thought.

With that being said, though, why weren’t we just accepting him immediately? After all that time looking through the sign up sheets to find a healer, it was he who was doing a favor for us, not the other way around. I thought about jumping in before he could be driven off by the demand, but far from being offended, he seemed to anticipate the question. With a nod, he began what felt like a well-rehearsed speech.

“My name is Oachin’Larin. Chamber of Nobility. First: I’m a healer. You need a healer. Second: Let me verify the rumors here. Does healing magic work on you?” He arched a brow towards Alara, shocking me both in that there were rumors about Alara’s build and with how bluntly he’d asked her about her abilities. That kind of information didn’t feel like the sort of stuff you divulged on a whim or any-

“It does not! I am resistant to all forms of magic.” Alara not only answered the man without pause, but projected her voice out as much as she usually did. If there was anyone left in the room who hadn’t known it already, they certainly would now.

Far from dissuading our would-be healer, this only appeared to embolden him.

“Then second: I’m probably the only one in the room who can actually heal you. Here.” In a single deft movement, one of his hands slid to his alchemist’s belt and flicked off the cap to one of the bottles therein. “Select Component. Synthesize Dose.” A single droplet raised itself from the bottle and hovered in mid air before expanding several times over, going from a tiny pinprick to a full vial’s worth. Continuing to announce his skill names for our benefit, he used two more. “Split Dosage. Ranged Administration - Healing.”

The suspended liquid neatly divided itself into three sections, only for all three to start disappearing a moment after. They dissipated from top to bottom as if evaporating at speed, and with their vanishing act came a battle notification.

You have consumed a Regeneration Tonic! +20 health per second for 10 seconds.

The numbers came as something a shock, much higher than what my measly cantrip could possibly do. Even so, however, it appeared I had the least extreme reaction to the spell.

For Emin’s part, he started spluttering for a second, to the point that I was worried he’d had some sort of allergic reaction to whatever potion we’d just been given. Far from it, however, he quickly recovered himself only to whisper out in a continuous stream.

“What an incredible potion. Is that a proprietary brew? The stress it puts on the body is so minimal! And with that level of healing it’s… Then again is that due to the potion, or is it your class skills at play? Ah, it must be if you’re a battle healer, but I’d just love to know how you-”

Well, at least they’d have something to talk about if he joined.

Alara’s reaction was no less notable, if perhaps a bit louder.

“Ha!” Her shout neatly drowned out the non-stop questions pouring out of Emin. “It is working! I am being healed! I did not consider such an avenue. This is good! What else?”

What do you mean, what else? How is that not far more than enough? The guy was practically a godsend for a party like ours.

Without further prompting, however, Oachin continued on. “In addition to my healing abilities, the rest of my potions and reagents are useful for a wide variety of effects. Some can boost your abilities, but more of them are for enemies. A few of them cause direct damage, but most of them are focused on crowd control. I believe this skill set will work well with your team.”

Can’t really argue with him there.

As it turned out, neither could Alara.

“Good! I approve. If the others do as well, I am excited to have you with us, Powerful Potion Man!” She laughed loudly enough to fill the entire academy before uncrossing her arms and clapping Oachin on the back, sending him staggering. For Emin’s part, I was fairly certain I heard him approve the man’s application in between the rest of his stream of muttering.

I mean, it’s not that I don’t think we should take him, but… “Not to do the whole ‘gift horse’ and ‘mouth’ thing, but, uh… Why us? I think we’re going to have a pretty solid time in the dungeon, but you can probably find a lot of teams with that skill set, right?”

The added, unspoken question was “Is there some kind of catch?”

Maybe it’s money? He seemed to have skills for synthesizing extra potions on the spot, but it wasn’t like regular healing where all you needed was mana. Maybe he was hoping I’d use my Perception to find us extra cash or that we’d agree to give him a higher share of the loot to cover his brewing costs?

“I believe you sell yourselves short. Emin received the first score on the written exam. Alara’s skill in her dueling class is well known. You yourself were not too far behind her, and that’s not to mention your Perception subtest. I do not believe I need more reason to wish to join your group.”

Oh. Damn. I guess we actually kind of were hot shit, weren’t we? When he put it that way, it didn’t even feel that outlandish. And here I’d been thinking there’d be some sort of catch, when-

“With that being said…” He let the words trail off, bringing my train of thought to an abrupt halt. “Especially as I’m the only one who can heal Alara, I do have a… request.”

Holding back a sigh-groan combo, I motioned for him to get it over with.

“I also wanted to join your team because of its composition and the fact that it had two open slots. I- I’ve been tasked with finding a party for both me… and my sister.” He grimaced the entire time he spoke, but for the life of me, I couldn’t figure out what the big deal was.

“Is that it? Why are you sounding like we should be unhappy about this? Is she weak or something, or what’s the issue here?” Honestly, even if she was completely unhelpful, I still kind of liked our odds now that Alara could be healed up. With constant healing, I wasn’t really sure what kind of horrifying monstrosity would be needed to do her in.

Oachin waved his hands animatedly, the most energy I’d seen the man display so far. “Oh, no! She’s strong. She’s just…” He sighed. “It’s better if you just see for yourselves.”

“Yes! Good! Praise me more!” A figuratively and literally glowing woman stood in the corner of the room by the food, surrounded by three men who seemed intent on following her command. Compliments were heaped upon her as she stood there soaking them up. “It is good you know my worth! As long as you do, I will lead us to victory!”

The woman in question was eye-catching in the extreme, to the point where it hadn’t been much of a task for Oachin to locate her after our talk. She had warm olive-brown skin and wavy hair which fell down to her chin. Much more notable, however, were her eyes. They were blindingly yellow and stretched so wide open, it looked as though she’d just chugged a few five-hour-energies and a can of Red Bull before coming here. On top of that, a slight glow suffused her entire person.

She was also fairly ridiculously attractive, with there being no doubt in my mind that she’d already passed the first Charisma threshold and likely by a good margin. A quick check with God’s Eye let me see exactly who I was looking at.

Nella’Larin*: Level 17 Rising Star, 300/300hp, 261 Prestige

*This target is obfuscated. Obfuscation broken.

She was a higher level than most of the students I’d met, and on top of that, I was certain I’d never seen her before in class. Neither of those things were unexpected, however: On the way over, Oachin had explained she’d taken the theory portion of the course the year prior.

She’d opted to wait a year to take the practical semester after having… trouble finding a party, and Oachin had been tasked with rectifying that for her this year.

This time around, however, it didn’t look like she was having as much of an issue as she’d had the year before. As the four of us neared, she snapped her head in our direction, making disconcertingly intense eye contact with her brother.

“Oachie! You don’t need to find us a party anymore! I found one for us. And look! It even has our dear cousin in it! Look how good of a job I did!” She extended an arm out, showcasing the three men as if they were trophies she’d just won. With a start, I realized I even recognized one of them.

Daymon’Larin: Level 15 Exceptional Duelist, 240/240hp

Huh, it’s Daymon. The duelist and I had crossed weapons a fair number of times in our dueling class. Unfortunately for him, it had never really gone too well for him, with his thin rapier not able to do much against my armor. Based on the last name, must be the cousin she’s talking about.

On seeing me, he gave a welcoming scowl, though it appeared he wasn’t going to greet me while Nella was talking with her brother.

As for Oachin, the dark circles under his eyes seemed to visibly grow.

“Sister, I’m sure you’ve done a very good job, but we decided to leave the selection to me, remember? I’ve found a team that will suit us well.” In a somewhat more subdued reenactment of his sister’s actions, he presented us to her.

After turning her off-puttingly intense gaze to each of us, her face scrunched up in distaste.

“I think I chose better,” she insisted. “That’s the adventure girl and the Perception freak, right? They’re not even nobles!” Nella appeared scandalized by even the notion of her working with us, as if we’d pass on some sort of cooties to her. “But don’t worry, Oachie! We don’t have to team up with them! We already have a team!”

Should I be offended that she’s thinking of me as the Perception freak or flattered that I got a high enough score that she actually knows who I am? I decided mostly the prior, but I’d admit to a bit of the latter as well. Just remember that she comes as a package deal with the guy who can heal Alara. Package deal, package deal, package deal… I repeated it over and over in my head like a mantra.

The battle alchemist pinched at the bridge of his nose while muttering a few choice words under his breath. “Sister, cousin Daymon is a fencer specializing in one-on-one duels. Without meaning offense, cousin, I’m not sure how you’ll fare in a metal dungeon. And neither of his two companions appear to be Constitution-based, either. It’s a poor team composition.” As if sensing he wasn’t reaching her, he appended one extra thought. “That is, I do not think they would be the best option to make you shine.”

If possible, it seemed as if Nella’s eyes grew even wider at that, taking in her choice of party members as if for the first time. For a moment, it really looked like she was about to side with her brother at last, her attention flickering back and forth between the two potential parties to compare them.

It all fell apart, however, when she took a good look at Emin.

“Oachie, who is this? You want me working with him? He’s so doom and gloom! How am I supposed to shine like this? And he looks so weak, too!” She leaned forward to get a better look only to think better of it, shrinking away from the dark aura Emin’s mana-shifted nature brought about. After a wince, Emin displayed a sheepish grin in response.

Oachin stepped between the two, blocking his sister’s line of sight. “He got the highest score in the class on the exam. That should be suitably impressive for you, no?”

Nella, however, was having none of it. “Who cares! It was a written exam! Half the questions weren’t even about metal dungeons. So what if he remembers the best way to fight a magma elemental! Can he fight, or are you asking me to carry around a deadweight?”

I mean, probably not as well as the rest of us, but if we’re talking “deadweight,” really think you should be looking at your own picks. Even if he weren’t my friend, I trusted that Emin would be a whole lot more useful than Daymon would.

Oachin seemed to think much the same. “I’m confident he’ll be useful in the fights. I’m sure he’s too smart to have taken the class if he didn’t think he had something to contribute. I just think if you take a moment to think this through ration-”

“Then he should fight me!” she interjected. Nella pushed aside her brother, throwing her hands on her hips and coming face to face with Emin once more. “Let’s have him prove it!”

“Sister, I believe he fills a support role. You beating him in a fight wouldn’t prove much of anything. You know that.” I could almost see as the life fled from the alchemist as the conversation drew on. I wondered what the rest of his life must have been like growing up with her around, and more than that, I was curious as to how they’d ended up so different from one another.

For all her brother’s reasoning, Nella remained set on her course of action.

“Fine! Then I will fight him in a group! If he’s support, then he should be good at supporting people, right? We’ll do a two-on-two, with one from his group and one from my group!”

Package deal, package deal, package deal, I repeated again. I questioned if it was really worth it, but begrudgingly admitted that the woman’s faults didn’t overshadow how useful her brother would be for us. Maybe she’ll stay with her group and we can get Oachin to stick with us?

I felt like Oachin knew his sister far better than I did, so I was mostly content to let him deal with this mess. I did nearly jump in at that point, though. It just didn’t make sense -- How was a two-on-two supposed to show if he’d be good in a dungeon environment? People didn’t fight the same way that monsters did, and it wouldn’t be a great litmus test for how-

“Good! You have been talking too long, and I have not liked what you said. We will fight!” Having managed to remain silent for far longer than usual, Alara took a step forward, allowing herself to loom over the noble girl. “DPM and I will be happy to fight two of you, and we will triumph with ease!”

Barely loud enough for me to hear even with my enhanced Perception, I heard Emin gulp before grumbling to himself: “We will?”

Nella started off pleased by Alara’s ready agreement, only for her good mood to sour as she recalled who she was talking to. “Wait! Not you. You’re that girl that sucks all the magic up, aren’t you? I’m definitely way stronger than you, but it’s a bad matchup for me. How is he supposed to be able to show he’s not deadweight if you’ll just fight both of us yourself?”

Does everyone know about Alara’s skill set by now? Either it was from her shouting it out at every opportunity she got, or perhaps she’d left an even larger impression on all her dueling classmates than I’d thought, leading them to talk about her.

Still, it was a shame Nella wasn’t willing to let Alara fight. She would have knocked some sense into the girl. It was probably for the best, though. I knew I certainly wasn’t going to agree to something like-

“Good!” A vice-like grip clamped down onto my shoulder. “Then you will have no issue when PPG beats you in my stead!”

I froze.

Wait, what?