REND started on May 20, 2020, and Arc 5 ended on May 21, 2023 (RR/SH). I swear, that wasn’t planned at all—I realized it only now. There might be some synchronicity going on with the universe, if you believe that. It has also been around a year, counting from mid-May 2022, since I started writing novels seriously with an eye for a career.

In this Retrospective, I’ll discuss more of REND’s inspiration, history, and why I write this way, going further in-depth than previous Retrospectives. This is going to be more of the background thinking stuff. Connected to that, I’ll talk about my writing style and its evolution. Lastly, we’ll see the future of REND.

Affecting the Reader through the Character

In ancient times, even before RoyalRoad started as a translation site of Legendary Moonlight Sculptor, I was already reading tons of web novels, light novels, and manga. Though that was long ago, the popular tropes were the same as today—OP MC, progression fantasy, power fantasy, the works. I was such a fan of them, especially OP MCs, that I had no problems sacrificing some brain cells reading machine-translated stories. (Barely any serious English translators back then.)

As I went through dozens of OP MC stories, they all rolled into one that I can scarcely remember anything of them. I also noticed that I didn’t care for the characters. I was simply waiting for the OP MC to show their OPness, and everyone will be amazed—which isn’t bad, as that’s the goal of the genre.

Eventually, I came across Vinland Saga. For those who don’t know, it’s a manga about a Viking lad who’s really good at fighting—essentially OP MC. But Vinland Saga developed to the MC becoming a pacifist, and the story became more philosophical and dramatic.

I was expectedly pissed off at how “lame” and “uncool” he became. This was more than a decade ago, so excuse my reaction then. I dropped the manga and forgot about it.

The Vinland Saga anime has reached this point at present if I’m not mistaken. You can check the reactions to it, and many hate it. But its philosophical side also affected many people.

A few months later, I visited an uncle living in a rural area without internet access. But my uncle did have many books, one of which was A Painted House. It’s about a boy in a poor cotton-farming family in the US South during the 1950s—it was mostly a coming-of-age drama and facing harsh realities of life. It was light years away from the usual stories I consumed. There was no OP MC, incredible powers, magical creatures, or action.

I was just incredibly bored that I read it… and finished it, pulled in by the strength of its character writing. It opened my mind to the idea that a strong (writing-wise) character can lead the reader wherever, and the reader will follow.

Sometime later, I read Vagabond. It’s a historical fiction manga about Miyamoto Musashi, considered the best samurai in history. Again, OP MC vibes. Incredible fight scenes and art.

Then Vagabond went the same route as Vinland Saga. Musashi no longer killed people. He farmed and philosophized about life and death (the Farming Arc of Vagabond is considered one of the best arcs in any manga). But instead of getting pissed that the OP MC became “uncool,” I realized there might be more to stories if readers cared about the characters themselves, not what they do.

Readers Connecting to the MC Rather Than Self-Inserting

I read Vagabond around 2014 (it went on hiatus in 2015). By mid-2015, I wrote my first web novel, A Dragon Gnawing Its Tail. This had an OP MC since I was hugely influenced by web/light novels like New Gate and Overlord, but I was trying to focus on the character more than others in the genre.

Before moving further, I’ll clarify that I still consume OP MC stories if being powerful isn’t the point, like Mob Psycho or Hellsing. And there are some “pure” OP MC stories I do like. Mujang is an example—a straight-up OP MC martial arts manhwa, in contrast to Vagabond or Vinland Saga, which switches at the end.

I’m not saying I want to write a deep story to discuss the meaning of life or other philosophical subjects. I just want readers to care about the character as a separate person and not as a vehicle for self-insert. Not that there’s anything wrong with the latter. I know that saying something is “self-insert” is a derogatory term nowadays, but I think differently.

If a story is intended for readers to self-insert into the main characters, and readers do that and enjoy it, then that’s a job well done for the writer.

My stance is that there are so many self-insert stories that I want to explore other avenues. There are way better reader self-insert stories out there than I can write. I’m seeing if I can offer a different experience, and I hope I’m succeeding in that aim.

Exploring Characters and Emotions

You may have noticed that I like testing different kinds of characters and emotions—for example, Imani breaking down about her friends. I’m very much fascinated by emotions and the connections it makes with the reader. Related to the above discussion, I believe a story will forever be a part of readers if they have an emotional connection with the characters, not the scene or plot.

Erind is a great character to explore. I’ve shortly discussed in a previous Retrospective that part of my choice to have a female lead in REND is that I saw the state of strong female main characters in media, and they suck. They usually have a superiority complex, are mean, rough, manipulative, unrelatable, and all-around very unlikeable.

Erind is exactly that… but somehow likable.

I can’t fully express why that’s the case—maybe you can share your thoughts on what makes Erind different below?

My intention to put in the effort building characters extends to side characters and even to the Spin-Off. ExD may have started as a joke, but I’m all in seriously developing the characters and relationships there instead of just letting it be some low-effort fanservice.

What’s the reason?

I’ll keep writing REND through thick and thin, through the years to come, but I can’t be sure if you, the readers, will still be around. Maybe your tastes will change. Perhaps you’ll be busy with life or work. Maybe something will happen to the websites—lots of reasons. But what I can be sure of is that you’ll remember REND if the characters are brought to life and you’ve connected with them.

In a way, you’re bringing the characters to life, not me.

Gaining Confidence in Writing REND

Though I was set on a different path than mainstream in writing Erind and REND, I wavered a lot at the start. As you know, many early readers wanted a psycho-killer MC, and so I rushed Arc 1 to the part of the docks where Erind turned into a giant werewolf. I failed to develop the world, lore, Erind, Deen, and the hero-wannabe team—that could’ve been a dozen or more chapters in the middle of Arc 1. And because readers hadn’t yet grasped what REND was going for, Erind exposited a lot and acted weirdly to the story’s detriment. I also wrote many Author’s Notes, detracting from the reading flow.

Many other issues plagued the early parts of REND because I wasn’t confident about the path I wanted to take.

I can't deny the temptation to go mainstream and follow the trends. It’s far easier, there’s much support and validation, and I could’ve avoided much toxicity if I didn’t go against the flow. This isn’t isolated to me or writing web novels but applies to other forms of content creation. Youtubers, Tiktoker, etc., follow trends. Views, likes, and all that will come if one makes popular content.

It isn’t just a matter of getting subscribers, viewers, or readers. A considerable following can translate to money, like ads and sponsorships. Or for web novels, patrons, and sales of books.

REND is lucky that despite being quite different from mainstream web novels (or most stories as a whole, for that matter), it has a good number of followers. We have our small community here. REND’s patrons may be few compared to the popular genre novels, but I’m very thankful that the patrons make no demands on the story. If you’ve been around web novels for some time, you probably know how much sway money can have on the plot. Maybe you’ve heard of issues where the patrons demand this or that for the plot.

To dissuade myself from thinking about numbers (followers, ratings, reviews, etc.), I’ve stopped visiting the RR/SH/Patreon dashboard in recent months. I’ve saved the drafts page and so on, so I’d never have to use the dashboard. Might sound extreme, but I want to break free of the hold of numbers and preserve my mental health. I know of many authors (some are my Discord friends) who chased numbers and burned out, ending up dropping their stories.

The last thing I want is to hate my own writing. But if I focus on REND, the goal is clear and free from distractions.

I hope I’m not imagining that my writing has improved in the last several months. I’m writing faster than when I started, but I also put more effort into writing and polishing chapters before publishing, so it evens out in speed. I may write 4k words, then edit it into a 3k chapter at release.

For web novels, quantity is a quality of its own. Quantity is actually preferred. If you search forums and posts, prominent authors recommend quantity as the best business strategy. Not to mention websites are geared toward spamming chapters for visibility.

But my thinking is that readers come and go. I’m not sure how many readers that were with REND since Arc 1 are still around. Ultimately, the one who’ll undoubtedly stay with the story is me. And I’ll be the one feeling regret if I rushed REND without being satisfied with it.

I want to write REND the best I can with the limited free time that I have in between busy schedules. But time isn’t the only challenge. My writing style also hinders putting out the best that REND can be.

What do I mean by that?

I’m a Pantser

Okay, so what’s a pantser?

A pantser is a writer who doesn’t use an outline, unlike a plotter. It’s a spectrum, not a black-and-white thing. Some may heavily use outlines, others only in certain parts of the story, and so on. There are many other terms for pantsers, like discovery writers and gardeners. The correct term is probably intuitive writing. Famous pantsers include Stephen King and Neil Gaiman.

Knowing my writing style will put in context much of the story. I’ll also add that being a pantser or a plotter isn’t a choice. It’s inherent to a person how they craft a story.

George R. R. Martin is a pantser. He started Game of Thrones because he thought of a line about dire wolves in summer snow. Then, he basically made stuff up about why winter is coming in the summer. Think of Erind and the frat boy storyline that started just because someone commented, “road trip!” in a chapter, and I thought, sure, let’s have this whole story thread instead of a cutting to Las Vegas.

Another pantser is the inspiration of G.R.R.M, J.R.R Tolkien himself. Tolkien’s letters reveal that he doesn’t know what a character will become, like when Frodo met Aragorn, Tolkien had no idea yet who Aragorn would be.

You may assume that Tolkien is a plotter because he made such a vast and complex world full of details. But complexity isn’t an indication of being a pantser or plotter. Pantsers might be likelier to make sprawling words. An example is Eiichiro Oda, mangaka of One Piece.

Oda mentioned he has plans for the ending od One Piece (I also have planned REND’s end since Arc 1), but plenty of his writing is pantsing. A good example is the Supernovas and Trafalgar Law—they were made a day before the chapter introducing them was written. They weren’t supposed to be important characters, and Oda thought they’d exit the narrative soon enough. He admitted he was surprised that Law continued to be an essential character.

This is the same case as Deen. She was supposed to be a random side character but look at her now. The same can be said about the parasites. They were supposed to be a one-time thing in Arc 3 but are now crucial to the plot.

Pantsers writing web novels have one huge challenge—we can’t revise our work. I can’t edit past chapters beyond proofreading and minor tweaks. I can’t delete entire chapters or merge story threads because changes in previous Arcs will affect the future, and current readers will be confused about why suddenly massive changes are implemented.

Fun fact: Tolkien changed his mind plenty on important plot aspects too. For example, in the original version of The Hobbit, the Ring was pretty chill. Gollum is also chill and willing to give the ring to Bilbo. But when Tolkien wrote about the history of the Ring in the Silmarillion, he changed it into the One Ring we know now, all evil and corrupting. And so, he had to change parts of The Hobbit—note that this was already published then, and his editor changed subsequent versions.

I can technically revise and retcon now, but it’ll be very messy and take a lot of time.

A good illustration of this problem is in Hunter x Hunter. There’s no actual confirmation, but I suspect that Togashi, the mangaka, might be somewhat of a pantser based on his interviews saying he lets the character write themselves (I can’t remember the exact words)—that’s a pantser’s mindset. Anyway, have you ever wondered why Killua doesn’t know about Nen? For those unfamiliar with HxH, its “magic system” was revealed only in the third arc (or second, depending on how people count the arcs). Killua is a character who should be aware of it right from the start.

Of course, there can be many explanations. It’s like the Eagles to Mordor thing. For me, it’s likelier that Togashi had ideas about Nen (the magic system) at the get-go but fully fleshed it out only in the third Arc.

It’s similar to how Adumbrae and Corebring lore isn’t solid because I keep changing my mind about it. When I’d eventually settle on concepts in REND, I can’t go back and apply the retcon throughout, the same as Togashi can’t retcon Killua’s lack of knowledge anymore.

Interesting tidbit, Tolkien had many retcons he wanted to do. He was even writing a new version of The Hobbit, but people stopped him because it was too complicated to change things.

On my part, there are many things I want to revise/edit.

A minor example would be Eudora. She showed up only in Arc 4. But it’ll be better if hints of her were present in Arc 1, as she’s connected with Erind’s Mom. A significant change I want to make (but can’t) is smoothing out Erind’s kidnapping back in Arc 1. Revising that part has many ramifications that will cascade through the story, so I can’t touch it.

In my opinion, the true potential of a pantser’s work can be attained only after writing the story and then looking back to revise and polish it, using the learnings gained from the journey. It’s like I’m presenting you with a roughly shaped block, and I’m yet to settle on carving its final form.

It’s frustrating that I can’t give you an even better story because of my writing style.

There are two more challenges to writing that I want to discuss.

Time and ADHD

I’ve mentioned several times in Author’s Notes and comments that I’m a slow writer—now, I’ll explain why.

I can concentrate on writing (or work) only for 5-10 minutes and have to stop for a few minutes to do something else, read a few pages of a book, watch a video, or walk around. I also suffer from “waiting mode.” This is a psychological state where one can’t get anything done because they’re distracted by the awareness of something planned. For example, if I have a meeting in an hour, I can’t concentrate on writing while waiting for it.

I haven’t been clinically diagnosed, but I suspect I may have adult ADHD. Waiting mode is a common symptom of ADHD. This probably bleeds into my writing as well. You can see the flow of the characters’ thoughts going in different directions.

Another thing is that I’ve gotten busier these past few months. But first, let’s roll back to the past year.

Since May 2020, I’ve been casually writing REND while working full-time. By May 2022, I decided to take the leap of faith and try to start an “actual career” as a writer. I quit my full-time job and looked for a part-time job to have more writing time. This was also when I began ExD and Getting Hard, with a plan to revive my first web novel (which I’m doing now). I’ll also be editing books, if ever.

Time was needed, and I sacrificed my full-time job with (a lot of) hesitation.

I suppose the rest of 2022 went okayish, despite some hiccups. The help of patrons was vital; I live in the Philippines, and a couple hundred bucks a month goes a long way. I also managed to have a part-time job. I’m single, so way fewer expenses (lol), and I have some savings to cushion me for several months.

Going into 2023, I switched to a different part-time job. It’s more demanding, affecting my writing schedule, but it also pays more for financial security. I’m not a big Patreon author earning thousands of dollars a month, nor do I have published books, so I have to make do with what I can get so that REND can continue.

I’m explaining this to be open about the challenges I face in writing and to assure you that I’m committed to continuing REND no matter what.

Just Hang Around

You can help REND continue by just hanging around—that’s already tremendous support. As I said, readers come and go. I’ll understand if people drop REND because of its erratic schedule. As a reader, I’ve dropped many stories in the past for slow updates too.

But I’ll appreciate those who stay. That’s all I ask.

This isn’t about money. If money was the goal, I would’ve stayed at my full-time job, built my career, and not bothered with writing at all. The goal is for REND (and my other stories) to continue. I won’t abandon Erind, Deen, and all the other characters.

To the patrons who financially support REND, a huge thanks to you. It helps a lot. I subscribed to some premium editing tools with your help to improve my writing.

Rather than set schedules that I can’t keep, I’ll cycle through my four stories, and they’ll release in this order and quantities: 2 REND -> 1 ExD -> 4 GH -> 1 ADGIT. I’ve released one REND main chapter, so I’m still due for one more main and one Spin-Off. Pairing the REND chapters would save me time getting into “the zone” for it.

How fast I go through the cycle will depend on my real-life commitments.

Now, you may think that maintaining four stories is an insane burden. You’re right. It is.

But I don’t feel burdened or burnt out because the passion is there. If I turned writing into “actual work,” I’ll be burned out, which won’t benefit me or the readers. Cycling through the stories also helps with my condition (I’m unsure if it’s ADHD) because I won’t be forced to focus on one story.

Turning REND Into a Book

This idea came from a conversation over at our Discord. Someone was trying to train an AI to act like Erind. Of course, that wouldn’t work—the sample size was too small. But someone jokingly said that an AI Erind might be possible if there are a million readers of REND to train the AI.

And so, I thought, does REND have a chance of going mainstream?

All this time, REND hides in its little corner in Royalroad and Scribblehub. I don’t advertise, I don’t post in forums, I don’t do review swaps, and I don’t reach out to other authors for shoutouts. Zero. REND just waits for people to find it. The only advertising done is by readers recommending it to others.

But thinking more about it, I believe that REND has a chance to break into the mainstream, even if small. If Erind’s mysterious “magic” worked in RR and SH, it might work outside of RR/SH.

What’s your take on this?

The goal I set to (hopefully) complete within two years is publishing REND Book 1.

This isn’t simply compiling REND chapters, converting them into an ebook, and voila. I plan to full-on edit and revise Arc 1 and part of Arc 2 into REND Book 1. There’ll be lots of rearranging, changes, and new chapters. For one, I want to develop the hero wannabe team. Also, I want to set up Deen for her importance in the story later. Erind barely got to test her new self in Arc 1. Also, I can fix inconsistencies and so on.

I want to bring out the best REND can be, remedying the inherent weakness of pantsers. Essentially, I'll carve the rough block into a polished statue.

Then I’ll hire professional editors (yes, plural) to polish Book 1. This’ll be costly, and I’m starting to save for it now. Or maybe I’ll start a Kickstarter for it a couple of years from now and release wide instead of going Kindle. Not going Kindle Amazon means lower sales, but I won’t be required to pull REND from RR/SH—a show of my thanks to you, the readers. As for Book 1 itself, it’ll find some way to sail the seas (nudge, nudge, wink, wink) so that even those who can’t buy it can read it.

But why do this? Why make the enormous effort to turn REND into a book? Why not just compile and publish?

Because REND deserves to be shown its fullest potential. You’ll probably agree it’d be a waste if I leave Erind and REND as is.

What do you think? Isn’t it fun if Erind somehow “infects” way more people?

For those who want to help in making Book 1, feel free to contact me here or in Discord. It’s mainly just rereading through Arc 1 and parts of Arc 2, giving feedback on possible changes and fixes, then brainstorming ideas. I can’t give anything in return other than a copy of Book 1 someday.

Anyway, that’s it for this Author’s Retrospective. Chapter 1 of Arc 6 will be released in a couple of days. I’ll try a different story structure from my usual one. There’ll be fighting, but it will be shorter. We can focus on the plot and building more lore. Erind will also be proactive in Arc 6 instead of her usual reactiveness.