Ashley left Reid stunned by the front of the bus and hobbled to where Eric lay Helena down. Her blood trailed behind, smears of it staining the corrugated steel.

Tish drove recklessly and the bus swerved from side to side. With every sharp turn, someone groaned or cursed and there was no ignoring the tension in the air. So few of them had made it through unscathed.

But the wound on Ashley’s leg was already starting to close. It tightened and tugged, trying to stitch itself together despite the bleeding. It was lucky the shot passed all the way through and although she would live, Ashley’s movements had slowed and she held herself up by gripping the backs of the seats. She needed to rest. To eat. To regain her composure.

But a tremble had found its home in her hands. That was too close, she thought briefly. Too fucking close.

Eric stood up from Helena and made his way to the front of the bus. Without warning, he gripped Reid by the shoulders. “Help her,” he said, shaking Reid to his senses.

With a nod, Reid started towards where Helena lay and Eric took over driving.

Ashley watched Reid as he passed her, his hands covered in blood. He moved slowly, not so much carefully, but as though he wasn’t really there. Shock, she guessed. Or he's scared. But it could be said for all of them as she looked around. No one was calm or ready as they bounced in the vehicle. Even Shannon seemed paler.

“You are not dying on me you fucker.” Tish tightened a piece of cloth around Shannon's bleeding shoulder and the small cry of pain from him met the air as a dry laugh.

Tish frowned. “After all this shit you are not allowed—”

“Jesus, would you take it down a notch,” he groaned and winced. But even that dry laugh died quickly as he slumped back into one of the booth seats. “Not like I planned on getting shot.”

“I need to stop the bleeding,” Reid's voice quaked and it called Ashley back to Helena on the floor. His hands moved quickly, searching for something.

“What do you need?” Ashley asked but he didn’t answer her. He pressed his hands to Helena’s belly, his fingers visibly shaking. “Reid?” she said again and he looked up, pale-faced and confused.

“She'd have brought her bag, medical supplies. Tish, do you see her bag?” he asked.

“It's up here,” Eric called.

Gabriel ran to the front without being asked and retrieved Helena’s bag. “Here,” he said meekly as he dropped it by Reid.

But Reid didn’t even glance Gabriel’s way. He took his hands off Helena to look through the canvas and the blood spilled out from her side steadily. With a curse under his breath, he stopped his searching and went back to applying pressure.

Ashley dropped to her knees. She gritted her teeth through the pain that climbed up the limb and settled in her hip. But her wound would heal. Her pain would subside. Ashley leaned over Helena and pressed her hand over Reid’s. The treble in his fingers shook through her.

He cares about Helena. More than just... Ashley suddenly felt like an outsider. Is he the—of her—

Helena groaned under the pressure and looked around groggily.

Reid turned to the bag, his searching frantic. “Stay with me, Helena.” Gauze, tape, painkillers and more spilled onto the floor. Only when he grabbed a syringe and a bottle of what Ashley guessed was morphine, did his hands still. “Just gonna give you something for the pain.” He lifted the lip of Helena’s shirt and a soft breath seemed to wind him. Ashley couldn’t see Helena’s skin beneath the red and a pool of it swirled on the steel floor.

They shouldn't have come. It shouldn't have been her. It should have been—

The needle went in and Helena didn’t even seem to notice it.

There's nothing we can do.

“Keep the pressure on,” Reid said as the colour drained from Helena’s face. “I need...” His voice caught in his throat and the panic seemed to swell.

“Reid, look at me,” Ashley said and for moment it was as though her voice called him back from whatever confusion had fogged his mind. He stared at her and clarity came back and to Ashley, she hoped he was anchored in the present. Not what was coming or what had been done. The here. The now.

After a moment, he nodded.

“What do you need?” Ashley asked, but she could feel warmth pooling between her fingers.

“I don't know.” The defeat in his voice silenced all of them in the bus as he tried to catch his breath. Ashley could only watch as fear swallowed him whole.

“I-“ he swallowed. “I don't what to do.”

A hand gripped Ashley’s wrist and she turned from Reid. Helena’s grip, weak as it was, called her eyes down to the draining face. “Don't...” Helena's voice was too soft to hear clearly, so Ashley leaned down. “Don't... tell.” Helena’s free hand rest still over her belly.

Helena's eyes should have been filled with fear, Ashley expected that. She’d seen so many on the edge of a precipice, so close to what they all ran from every day. Instead, Helena looked determined.

“Let… go,” she whispered.

Ashley’s throat tightened. She knows. Helena’s grip relaxed around Ashley’s wrist. It's too late. It's too late for them both. They needed no words as Ashley nodded and lifted her hands off the wound. Instead, she took up Helena’s grip and squeezed tight.

“No! We need to keep pressure.” Reid pressed his hands to Helena's side and she lurched from the force. “We have to keep pressure on the wound.” But the blood still flowed and Helena's focus waned.

I've been here before, Ashley thought in Helena’s fading grip. I'll always be coming back to this spot if nothing changes. Something has to change.

Helena's hand relaxed and her eyes glazed over.

“Helena!” Reid cried out. “Stay with me!”

Ashley’s turned over Helena’s wrist and closed her eyes. She held it tight, feeling for what she knew was already gone.

I won't run this time, she told herself as she opened her eyes and lay Helena’s hand over her belly.

Reid fell back against the side of the vehicle with a thud, his face frozen in shock as he looked down at Helena. The tears would come, or maybe he’d burrow into himself with grief in terrifying silence. But there was one thing Ashley was sure of. He can't know. I promise, Helena, he’ll never know.

“Is she...?” Gabriel asked.

Ashley nodded for Reid who sat staring at the body on the floor.

Shannon rose from where he sat, much to Tish's protests, and approached Eric at the front. His hand fell heavy on Eric's shoulder. In a brief glance back towards the rear of the small bus, his features grew solemn.

She couldn’t hear what Shannon said, but Eric nodded and turned back to the road.

A long silence filled the space between bumps over curbs and debris. Bullet holes from the gunfight left dimples through steel and from it light poked through. Someone sucked back sniffles and as small of a sound as it was, it seemed deafening.

The shake of the bus forced Helena’s head to move, her eyes blank and unblinking. While everyone else stared and waited, for what she didn’t know, Ashley leaned over and closed Helena’s eyes.

“What do we do now?” Brendan broke the silence with a question no one had an answer for.

I've been here before. Ashley reached out for Reid, touching his wrist, and he flinched away from her.

Helena’s blood stained the space between them.

I'll always be coming back to this spot if nothing changes. No one else spoke for what felt like minutes, and when she looked around gaunt faces seemed either fixed on Helena or looking anywhere else.

“Get us back to Lancaster.” Ashley hadn't intended it to be an order but it left her with authority that garnered no protest.

Something has to change.

Ashley rose to her aching feet. She stepped over the body on the floor and made her way to the front of the bus. “Do we have radio contact with Lancaster or the college?” she asked Eric.

“Lancaster. He can relay to the college.” Eric’s voice shook and his shoulders slackened in grief he couldn’t hide.

“Good.” Sitting in the chair behind him she took a deep breath at stared at her hands. It was blood, only blood. It wasn’t the first time she’d been covered in the stuff. Her own. Someone else's.

Something has to change. “Tell him what happened,” she said. “Tell them to prepare.”

“Prepare for what?” Brendan asked fearfully.

“An attack.” Ashley hadn’t meant it to sound as final as it did, but there was no softening the blow. “Monte told them too much. They know about the college, maybe even Casa Loma, and even if he hadn’t, it wouldn’t be hard to find where people are holed up in the city.” Her fingers dug into the back of Eric’s seat as the thought solidified in her mind.

“The Outreach is coming. There won’t be any deals or bargains.” She took in a deep breath and exhaled, her whole body shaking in the motion. “Everyone at the college needs to be ready to defend themselves.”

“To defend ourselves,” Reid corrected. She turned to him as he tore his eyes away from the body. There was anger there deep in his eyes, a fury she knew and had felt countless times before.

Ashley nodded to him. We’re going to need that if we want to survive.