《A Suspicious Lack of Horses》Soul: 48 - Emotional Response
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Victoria was pissed. Victoria was very, very pissed, full of a burning frustration that urged her to do terrible, terrible things to her other self's pelvic region. Why did he have to fuck that girl?!? How could he be so stupid!?! Even worse, Victoria completely understood how he could be so stupid, and if she'd been in the same situation, she'd probably have done it too. No, she definitely would have done it too, and that just made her feel worse! Was she really that weak? Would she really just abandon her principles because she was a little sad?!?
Victoria was used to seeing herself as someone who didn't let her emotions affect her actions, who stayed calm even when everyone else was freaking out, but more and more she was realizing it wasn't that her emotions didn't affect her, it was that she didn't have much to be emotional about. For most of her life, things were just good, and she couldn't really complain. Her worst struggle was being a little bored. Ever since she came here though… she let her anger dictate how she treated Foratuna, she let her frustration affect how she treated her family, she jumped into her relationship with Beatrice way too fast, and now she'd slept with some random girl just because of a little depression! She was practically an emotional wreck!
"I hate emotions." Victoria grumbled bitterly, not amused by the fact that her hatred of emotions was yet another emotional response.
*They do seem to get us in trouble more often than not.* Thomas agreed.
*Shut up and talk to that girl already!* Victoria snapped at him.
*She's still asleep!* Thomas protested. Plus, he was in no hurry to have that conversation. In fact, if she slept long enough, he'd be able to slip out to look at more houses… that'd at least give him most of the day to figure out what he was going to say, right?
*What's there to figure out?!?* Victoria retorted. *She's your wife now! Deal with it!*
*Isn't deciding she's my wife just because I slept with her yet another emotional reaction?* Thomas asked hesitantly.
*No, because if it was emotional, you wouldn't be fighting it!* Victoria countered. *Do you really want to just ditch her like some noble prick, using and abusing everyone they see as beneath them?!?*
*I want to, yes, but I do recognize that that would be the absolute shittiest thing to do and I refuse.* Thomas sighed. *I just feel like there should be some sort of middle ground between ditching her and wifing her.*
Victoria rolled her eyes. *We've been over that. Any way you cut it, it's just going to end up with you fucking her again. So the question is, are you just going to treat her like some sort of object that's only around for you to fuck, or are you going to try and get to know her as an actual person?*
Thomas groaned, knowing there was only one acceptable answer. Maybe if Jade could be more independent… Thomas paused. If he gave her the system and helped her become a Cultivator, she wouldn't need him, now would she? He still didn't think he could abandon her, but… well, if she wasn't dependent on him for survival, then why would she stick around a man she barely knows and probably didn't even like very much? Thomas paused as he felt Jade snuggle closer in her sleep. At least he hoped she didn't like him very much.
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*
Thomas managed to slip out with the excuse that he had to go look at houses, promising Jade he'd be back later that night. The only saving grace of all this was the fact that the realtor's name was Jessica barely even registered anymore. He had bigger things to worry about. Which, of course, he ignored, choosing to distract himself by focusing on looking for a house to buy. It took most of the day, but eventually he decided on one of the nicer houses, which he bought for two gold. Which, of course, meant he had to buy furniture, wasting a few more hours before he had to head back to the bar and face the consequences of what he'd done. Except no! He had a fully furnished house now, so why would he not just move in? Why waste money on a room when he had his own?!? Jade could keep for one more night, right? *Go get her!* Victoria demanded in his head and Thomas sighed. Yeah, it was time.
Thomas walked into the bar, looking around, quickly spying Jade as she worked, before pausing. Did- did she look a little down? Why- she caught sight of him and her expression immediately brightened as she ignored the table she'd been bringing food to and rushed over to him. "You're back!" She exclaimed happily, before flushing as she realized she was still carrying food. "Uh, excuse me." She murmured in embarrassment as she quickly returned to the table and set the food down, before rushing back to him, stopping a few steps away and shifting awkwardly. "Um, how- how was your day?"
"It was- good, yeah." Thomas replied. "Got a house. And furniture, so, you know, it's all ready to be moved into…"
Jade's eyes widened. "Tonight?!? Yes! Um, I just need to grab- let me tell- uh, I- I can be ready in just a few- er… would you like to eat while I get ready?" She asked hesitantly.
"Sure." Thomas agreed with a tight smile. Jade quickly got him a table before rushing off, a different server bringing him some food and drink. Not long after he finished, Jade came back carrying a large sack, struggling a bit with a weight as she glanced around nervously. "All set?" Thomas asked as she got to his table.
"Yes!" Jade nodded, her voice tinged with nervous excitement. She couldn't believe this was actually happening! When Thomas left in such a hurry, she thought she'd somehow disappointed him, that she hadn't been good enough, and as it got later and later without him returning, her worries only grew, but then he'd actually come back! And he'd gotten a house! She could finally have a life outside this godsforsaken bar!
"Alright, let's go." Thomas got up to go, Jade following behind him. "Ah, let me get that for you." He added as he noticed her struggling with the sack, taking it from her and throwing it over his shoulder.
"Ah, but-" Jade began to protest, but Thomas was already walking ahead of her. She was the servant, wasn't she? Why would he carry her bag? Jade flushed as she scurried after him. She honestly shouldn't have been surprised. Thomas never did what she expected him to do. The house was a bit of a walk, taking them about fifteen minutes to get there, at Jade's speed at least, by the end of which she was glad Thomas had taken the bag. She was already a bit out of breath just from the walk! If she'd had the bag, she'd be dying!
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"Home sweet home." Thomas grinned as he walked in, placing the sack by the door as he turned to face Jade. "What do you think?"
Jade blinked. What did she think? He- wanted her opinion? But- why? "It's- nice?" She replied, looking around, not even sure what to say. "It looks… homey?"
Thomas looked around himself. He'd probably spent a bit too much time setting up the furniture, honestly, but he was proud of the results. A nice dining set, a comfortable looking sitting area, actual mattresses (which were the most expensive part, since they had to be hand crafted), and a nifty contraption for the bathroom that made taking care of business… well, still disgusting, but not as disgusting as it could have been. "Yeah, it's a nice place." Thomas nodded.
"Um, where- where should I put my things?" Jade asked.
Thomas paused, before letting out a sigh. "Actually, that's something we need to talk about. Come on, let's sit." He waved her towards the sitting area, gesturing for her to sit across from him as he sat with his elbows on his knees, giving her a serious look. "So… fuck, where do I even start." He sighed, shaking his head. "Last night- last night was a mistake."
Jade froze, feeling her heart stop. "A mistake?" She repeated nervously. Was- was he rejecting her?!? Wait, no… why would he bring her here only to send her away? Unless he was going to kill- no, no that was ridiculous. Jade frowned. "What do you mean?"
"I mean I shouldn't have slept with you." Thomas explained. "It was… selfish of me."
"Selfish?" Jade asked, even more confused. She was the one who pushed for them to be together! Why would it be selfish of him that it happened? If anything it was selfish of her! She was the one who was benefiting from his generosity. "But I'm the one who wanted to sleep with you?"
Thomas blinked. "Well, yeah, but that's just because you're in a shity situation. Your interest in me isn't based on me but what I can do for you, so taking advantage of that to use you for sex is selfish."
"But then wouldn't I be selfish for wanting to use you as well?" Jade asked.
Thomas paused. "I guess?"
"Then if we're both doing this for mutual gain, why is it a problem?" Jade frowned. "I get something out of it, you get something out of it, both of us are happy, right?"
"Well, no, because… well, essentially, if I just see you as someone I use for sex, then I'm not seeing you as a person, I'm seeing you as an object… and I suppose you'd be doing the same to me." Thomas shrugged. "It just isn't a healthy way to view others. When you reduce people to mere functions, automatons that exist simply to fulfill their role, then you can justify doing almost anything to them. Like, for example, if you exist in my life solely for sex, then I don't need to make sure you have a good life, I just need to make sure you live well enough to keep having sex. In fact, treating you too well could actually hurt me, because increasing your agency means you can deny me sex. So if this is the arrangement we're going for, then it's in my best interest to treat you just well enough that you're willing, and just harshly enough that you're scared to say no. Which is, you know, kinda fucked up, don't you think?"
Jade blinked. "No? That's just- I mean, obviously I would like to be treated better, but… my only redeeming quality is my looks." Jade sighed. "If you treated me like a person, I wouldn't even have a shot. I'd be stuck in that bar for the rest of my life. If it's a choice between that and being treated as an object for sex… I can be an object."
Thomas froze. "Fuck, I feel like you need a hug, but I think that'd just send mixed messages." He muttered, shaking his head. "Jade… okay, number one, I have a hard time believing your only redeeming quality is your looks. That's just- I mean, you're at least a nice person, right? That's something. You're also a decent waitress… I literally don't know anything about you, but seriously, there has to be more to you than just being attractive."
Jade shook her head. "I'm boring. No one enjoys being around me. Even the other waitresses don't like to talk to me! My longest relationship was a week, and that was only because he was hoping I'd sleep with him! And maybe I should have…"
"I mean… lot's of people are boring, aren't they?" Thomas retorted. "I'd go as far as to say at least eighty percent of people are boring. Hell, I was boring for most of my life. I had maybe a handful of people who actually enjoyed talking to me, and two of those were my parents." Thomas snorted. "I'm still pretty boring, honestly. I have like… two friends, and one of them used to be a bear, so I'm not even sure that counts. Oh, yeah, you know Ursa."
Jade blinked again. "Ursa… used to be a bear?"
"Oh, yeah, it's this whole thing." Thomas waved his hand dismissively. "Not the point though. The point is that no one is boring to everyone, and I doubt you are either. I've accepted that most people aren't interested in getting to know me, but I don't need everyone to find me interesting. I just need to find the few people who do. So I wouldn't say you're boring. You just… haven't found your people yet."
"But- Ursa used to be a bear?!?" Jade continued incredulously.
Thomas rolled his eyes. "Ursa used to be a bear, I'm from a different world, Foratuna used to be a dude, and a Unification realm Cultivator is crushing on my female half. Shit is weird around me, get used to it."
Jade's mouth hung open in shock, before snapping shut as she narrowed her eyes at him in suspicion. "This is a joke, right? I'm sorry, I've never had a good sense of humor."
Thomas chuckled. "No, all of that is true. But it doesn't matter. The thing is, I refuse to treat you like an object, no matter how you feel about yourself, but since I've already slept with you, it makes things difficult."
"I feel like all that sounds a lot more important than this." Jade grumbled. She still didn't understand why he insisted on complicating a very simple situation.
Thomas shook his head. "Look, the fact is, if we stick with a maid plan, I'm probably- almost definitely going to sleep with you again. We can agree on that, right?" Jade nodded. She'd assumed that sleeping together was a given. "Right. But if you're working for me, that's a bit too close to treating you like an object for me, which again, I don't want to do. So either we need to remove sex as an option, which… well, I think if I got you your own place and you only came by to clean during the day or something… eh, we'd figure something out. The other option would be to… uh, formalize the relationship. So you wouldn't be my maid, you'd be my…" Thomas hesitated, not sure what term to use. He didn't want to say wife, but girlfriend didn't quite fit either.
"Mistress?" Jade offered hesitantly.
"No…" Thomas shook his head. "Fiancé, maybe? Essentially married but you could still break it off if it turns out it isn't for you?"
"You- you- you want to marry me?!?" Jade sputtered incredulously.
"Want is a strong word." Thomas muttered. "Especially since we don't really know each other. And again, there's still the other option of you getting your own place and just being a maid. It's just if you want to keep sleeping together, I'm only going to accept it if we try to be something more. Because, again, you're a person, and I refuse to treat you as anything less."
Jade just sat there for a moment, processing everything. "Can- can I think about it? I think… I need some time to think about all this."
"Sure." Thomas nodded. "You can set up in the room over there for now. Oh, and before you go." Thomas grabbed her hand, passing over the system and ten points. "You should Awaken and start earning points. You're going to need power if you're going to keep hanging around me." Jade blinked at the new little screen in the corner of her vision. She was going to sleep now. She was so tired she was seeing things.
*
"This is real?!?" Jade asked incredulously, barging into Thomas's room and waking him up.
"Wah? Whozat?" Thomas murmured blearily, sitting up. "Jade?"
"What did you give me?!?" Jade demanded, grabbing him by the shoulders and shaking him.
"Hey- don't- stop- quit it!" Thomas sent out some points to wrap her up, causing her to collapse on the bed. "What are you yelling about?"
Jade struggled against the bindings. "This- this thing that won't stop blinking at me!" She growled. "What is it?!?"
"Oh, that." Thomas nodded. "That's the system, and it's blinking at you because you haven't set up your task settings. Just focus on the blinking button and it'll give you your options." He explained with a yawn.
Jade paused. "Task? Like, for cleaning? Is this how I'm supposed to know what to do?"
"Eh? No, it's just a way to gain points. You gain points, then you spend them to learn skills or increase your cultivation." Thomas paused. "Make sure you spend a few to increase your Capacity first though. Otherwise your head might explode."
"What?!?" Jade exclaimed.
Thomas pinched the bridge of his nose. "I gotta make a F.A.Q. sheet or something." He muttered, shaking his head. He released her, letting her sit up, before beginning to explain all the general information about the system to Jade. "So yeah, do tasks, gain points, and spend them for power." He finished, waving his hand dismissively, before pausing as he realized he wasn't talking to Jade anymore. In fact, he didn't appear to be in his house anymore… Why were two strange men touching his shoulders? And what were these connections?!?
"Shit, this one doesn't speak Human." One of the men spoke in English, the one with horns, turning to the other.
Thomas's eyes widened in surprise. "Wait, you speak English?!?"
The horned one frowned at him. "I speak Human. But they're similar enough, I suppose."
"If all the words mean the same thing, then does the distinction really matter?" The other man rolled his eyes.
"Just because two things are similar, doesn't make them the same." The horned one retorted. "I can make as many duplicates of a rock as I want, but they're still all different rocks."
"Huh… fair point." The other shrugged.
"Wait, hold on!" Thomas protested. "Where is this?!? Who are you people!?!"
"Ah, right, well, I'm Chris, and this is Greg." The horned one explained. "As for where this is… we have no idea, actually."
"You don't know?" Thomas frowned. "Then why did you bring me here?"
"We didn't bring you anywhere." Greg replied. "You were already here, just unconscious. All of us were, apparently, at least when Chris woke up. All we know is that there are four of us and we're kind of trapped in here. Oh, and time is pretty much paused."
Thomas's eyes widened, checking on his other self- er, other selves. Victoria was meditating on her Design Rune, while Thomas was still in midconversation with Jade, and as Greg had said, they were completely paused. "Shit!" Thomas cursed, before pausing. "Wait, four? Who- fucking hell!" Thomas cursed again, jumping up as he caught a glimpse of the thing sitting across from him.
"Yeah, we're waiting to wake them up last." Chris commented, turning to glance at the creature.
"Why are we waking it up at all?!?" Thomas asked incredulously.
"Because we can't seem to get out of here on our own, or with just the two of us, so we figure we need all four to leave." Greg explained. "I don't know about you, but an eternity trapped in a small, confined space is literally my personal hell. The only way it could be worse is if I was completely alone." Greg shuddered as memories of his time in the transmutation chamber flashed through his mind.
Thomas paused. "Yeah, no, leaving sounds good." He nodded.
"Also, it'd be kind of shitty if we got out and left some possibly innocent person trapped here without us." Chris added, before clapping his hands. "So, shall we get started then?"
"Hold on! Shouldn't we have some sort of plan first?" Thomas protested, standing to his feet. "That thing looks dangerous! We should try to restrain it or something."
"How?" Greg asked, raising an eyebrow at him. "Holding one set of arms down? I don't think that will do much."
"I can use…" Thomas began, reaching his points, before freezing. They weren't there. He went to check the system, but it was gone too! "My system!"
"Your what now?" Greg asked, frowning.
"My- I have this system and it lets me make things, but it's gone!" Thomas explained, beginning to panic. How could the system be gone? How could the points be gone?!? He was the points!
"Oh, yeah, none of our abilities work in here." Chris explained. "That's another thing we know. Also, the doors are locked and they can't be broken down."
"Doors?" Thomas asked, frowning as he looked around and saw that yes, there were doors. Four of them. "You checked all of them?"
"Do you really think we wouldn't check all the doors?" Chris asked, raising an eyebrow at him. "We aren't idiots."
"Actually, I only checked one door." Greg interjected. "But I am the one who tried to break it down."
"Because you didn't believe me when I said it couldn't be done." Chris replied.
"You only had a feeling it couldn't be done!" Greg retorted. "Of course I had to check!"
Chris shook his head. "There's a way things work, and locked doors in rooms outside reality don't just let you break them down. You shouldn't need to test that."
"Outside reality?" Thomas asked skeptically. "What makes you say that?"
"Because I can't use my ability, and I can make my chair do that." Chris replied, pointing at the white throne as it rapidly changed forms, before turning back into a recliner.
Greg blinked, before turning to the black throne, making it cycle through a few forms as well, before settling on a couch. "Okay, yeah, that's fucky."
Thomas frowned at the red throne, turning it into a desk chair, though even with wheels, it didn't budge when he nudged it. "Weird."
"Wait, does this mean we aren't in a World?" Greg muttered. Was that even possible? And if it was… what did that mean?
"World?" Thomas frowned at him, catching the extra emphasis.
"Don't." Chris interjected. "It's confusing and we should focus on waking up our last member first. The word means too many things and it might just be a thing in his language."
"It isn't, but I'd also rather not have to repeat myself if it turns out this thing is friendly." Greg shrugged. "How'd you wake… huh, we never actually got your name, now did we?" Greg frowned, turning to Thomas.
"Thomas." Thomas replied, freezing as both of them stepped back in surprise. "What? Bad name?"
"No, just… you changed." Chris replied, pointing at him. "You were a woman-man a second ago, and now you're just… a dude."
Greg frowned, glancing at Chris. "Woman-man?"
Chris shrugged. "I call it like I see it."
"Sure, but woman-man?" Greg asked skeptically. "I'm pretty sure the correct term is shemale."
Chris frowned. "That makes no sense though. You're combining she and female, both of which mean woman."
"No, it's a she that's a male. Shemale." Greg retorted.
Chris considered it for a moment, before shaking his head. "I still like woman-man better."
"Victoria." Victoria muttered, looking down to see that she had indeed turned into a woman. "Thomas." And he shifted back.
"How are you doing that?" Greg asked curiously.
Thomas frowned as he studied himself. "I have two identities." He explained. "Thomas, my form on Earth, and Victoria, who I… reincarnated as after Earth was destroyed." His expression twisted at the memory, even as her form changed again. "I guess I take the form of whoever I identify with at the moment, and if I don't identify with either, they mix." She finished with a shrug.
"Huh." Chris grunted, turning to the thing still sitting on the sickly looking throne. "So… Do you think that's what's up with them? A bunch of different forms they identify with, all mixed together?"
Greg frowned. "I have a bunch of different forms though, and it didn't mix me up at all, right?"
"Sure, but do those other forms actually feel like you, or are they just different shapes?" Chris asked. "I can transform as well, but those forms aren't me, they're just tools. I couldn't see myself living as any of them."
Greg nodded. "That makes sense." Even when he took other forms, he didn't see them as him. They were the sharkman, or the scorpocroc, or Jake. Even in the transmutation chamber, he was always aware that the various different forms he wore weren't him, he was just acting like them. "Makes me feel a bit better about waking them up. You think there's a human under all that?"
"I wouldn't be surprised." Victoria replied. "If all three of us are humans who speak English, it'd be pretty weird if they weren't a human who speaks English."
"Again, I speak Human." Chris corrected.
Victoria rolled her eyes. "My point is that we can all understand each other, and since you didn't understand me when I first woke up, it's clear this place isn't the one translating for us. For some reason, we all share common traits, race, language, even gender, for the most part. It'd be weird if our last member didn't."
"Agreed." Chris nodded, before gesturing towards the creature. "So shall we?"
"Sure." Greg agreed. "But again, how?"
"Oh, just touch the connection." Chris replied.
"Gotcha." Greg nodded, reaching towards the creature, hesitating for a moment, before lightly touching one of its claws, just enough to sense the connection and flick it.
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