Drauko held their phone in their hand, ready to call Drade’s father.

The next moment, a knife thrust into their throat.

There wasn’t much more to say.

They couldn’t do anything as the knife pinned them to the wall. They could certainly try, but it didn’t count for much, as they couldn’t move, and only a few seconds later, in a surge of magic, the person they assumed to be a friend, ‘Tabitha’ as she had called herself, dragged the knife cleanly through their body.

Then, they fell to the ground, dead. Or maybe it was a second longer before that happened. Who could know?

Kai’Vra smiled as she grabbed what was now only a brutalized corpse, with organs spilling out, and held it up to her eye level.

The souls remained inside, though they seemed to be quickly falling into stasis, as dead souls did.

“Fate. Fate cannot save anyone from a well-deserved death. Idiots,” Kai’Vra muttered to herself.

Her jaw unhinged, her head tore and ripped into a monstrous head made of planty matter, then, she bit down.

Therin’s eyes widened. He didn’t know what to do or what to think as he saw some person turn into a hideous monster, then bite the shoulders off his enemy.

He hovered above the building, watching with shock as Drade was eaten. He hadn’t meant to be so late. It wasn’t part of Therin’s plan to kill Drade, let alone his sister, whom he cared deeply for.

But he couldn’t help but feel guilt...guild and an overwhelming feeling of...powerlessness as the monster’s head formed back into a human, then looked to him with a cocky smile.

“What are you looking at?”

He floated a step back. He wasn’t afraid, but he felt...scared.

“Hmph. Nothing to say, then?” Kai’Vra shrugged. “No need to make yourself my enemy...Therin? Can assume that’s who you are?”

He opened his mouth but had nothing to say.

“I simply had a...personal grudge.” She walked out of the building, then walked away without another word. “Don’t mind me.”

...

“Sir? Do you need backup with Drade? You’ve stood still for a while,” a voice said through his headphones.

“Hilda?”

“Yes?”

“Drade died.”

“Got it...err...you don’t seem very happy about that. You do understand it won’t take long for us to dispatch of the Friends, right? Why not just focus on that for now? And there hasn’t been any word from The Black House, so clearly, his father still hasn’t been alerted to our operation.”

He looked away. “Gau was a friend to me. I-I didn’t mean for his son...for her brother to-”

“Just stay on task, Therin. We can handle your damn existential crisis later. I thought you ‘knew what you were doing’?”

Therin bit his lip. “I...right. I guess I should focus on capturing the friends, then.”

“Didn’t you tell me you had a plan if Drade died? You said that Uffield was the greatest threat to our plans, and if she learned of what had happened, you would have to neutralize her.”

“Right...” Therin held out his hand. A portal appeared in its way, and he pulled out a metal stick. He looked at it with regret. “Defeat her while her guard is down...easy enough. I...I have to do what must be done to bring in my new age.”

“Umm...hi.”

Therin looked down at a small creature. It was wrapped in a white blanket, completely covered.

“Hello,” he replied boredly.

He had just walked into Uffield’s room, a large, strange, but luxurious place with a television set to some streaming service, a queen-sized bed of cushions opposite it, a filled bookcase, and of course, an enormous basket filled with blankets that took the role of ‘dresser’.

“Who...are you?”

“You can call me Therin. Your father’s lead scientist, but mostly engineer.”

“O-okay. But...w-why are you in my room?”

So shy. “You see, your father couldn’t attend to you today, so he left babysitting duty to me...for some reason.”

“Oh. Umm...well, h-hi, Therin. I am Uffieldufkyalluphanimwartailophanathaz, and the First Daughter...technically first lady of Gau’langelterbaias...B-but you can just call me Uffield.”

“Using true names, are we? He shrugged. “You can call me Theraisanin’sunlove.”

“O-oh, are you eldritch like me?”

He crossed his arms. “Hmph. Keep it a secret, but I simply control this body from afar. My soul is only artificial, my true soul was locked away millennia ago.”

“O-okay. I didn’t know that.”

“I did just imply it was a secret.”

“Sorry! I’m sorry!”

Therin blinked, confused at the irrational behavior. “Why in the world are you saying sorry?”

“Sorry.”

“Uhh...w-well we can sidestep that problem. May I walk further in?”

“Sure...”

Therin stepped past the entity and looked about while she watched curiously.

“You...aren’t like Dad.”

“Doubtlessly.”

“Like...Dad’s really...loud. And he likes to make jokes. I wish he was here...”

He glanced back. “Unfortunately, your father is quite a busy man. He is, after all, among the most powerful people on Earth.”

“I know...” she said with resignation.

Therin frowned. “Is it so good to be near your parent so often? You must understand your life span is not that of a human’s. You’ll surely live centuries if not ages.”

“But...I like Dad. I want to be with him.”

Therin paused. “You like your parent, huh? My mother...I wonder what she’s even like. Or perhaps the difference is that both you and your father are chaotic beings, whereas I am simply a being of Law, similar to your brother.”

“I like him, too! Drade’s fun! I don’t get to see him, though...”

“You like him, too? That’s quite funny. The one time I spoke to him, he made me look like a chaotic being by comparison. Such an intensely rigid personality and code, not to mention his standoffish personality. And the way he dismissed me...”

“But he was really nice! He watched anime all day with me!”

“That’s all it takes to make you warm up to someone?” Therin chuckled as he finally tested the softness of her bed of cushions. “Perhaps I was overthinking things.”

“Sorry...”

Therin rolled his eyes. “‘sorry’ again?! Ugh, this is why I hate chaotic beings...”

“Sorry!” Uffield seemed to hide further into her blanket.

He sighed. “Whatever.” Therin then sat on the blankets and picked up the remote. “If that’s all it takes, I can consider this a vacation. What were you watching before I came in here?”

“What was I watching? Umm...I-It was High School D...I-I mean, it was Naruto.”

“I see...” Therin blinked, registering that her ‘recently watched’ list told a much different story. He couldn’t comprehend why he would be lied to, though, so he simply searched ‘Naruto’.

...

“U-umm...what are you doing?”

“Looking up Nar...u...t....o...” he said as he typed it in. “The one with the orange kid?”

“Y-yeah, the orange kid. But...why?”

“I’m babysitting you, that’s why. If all it takes to make you happy is watching some ‘Naruto’ or whatever, I’m not complaining.”

“O-oh. Umm...can I sit next to you?”

Therin scooched to the side. “Duh.”

Then, the blanket-clothed entity crawled to his side and plopped down as he pressed play...

Before Therin could knock on Uffield’s door the next day, it suddenly swung open.

He curiously stepped into Uffield’s room. “Hello, Uffield.”

“Hi.” The blanket-draped entity was once more in front of the door, completely covered.

...

“Umm...do you mind if I walk in?”

“Mm-nm.” She stepped aside for him to walk in. The room had hardly changed since his last visit, unsurprisingly.

“Has anything changed for you?” he asked.

“No.”

“Good, good. Then shall we continue where we left off? I believe we made it to episode twenty-two?”

“I-I thought you were only going to be here one day.”

“I was, yes,” he affirmed. “I told your father that I enjoyed sending one of my simulacrums to take care of you, so he invited me to do so again.”

“Simulacrums?”

“Yes, I can exist at many places at a time. Not too many, but a few.”

“Oh, okay.”

“Oh, and before I forget...” he placed a hand into a satchel at his side and pulled out a tablet. “I thought it would be best if we caught up to your location in the series...you said you had made it to episode two-hundred-and-two, so we have quite a bit to make up for. To that avail, I did some research and made a list of ‘filler’ episodes, as they called them. I figure that skipping them will greatly accelerate our progress.”

“T-that’s a lot of episodes.”

“I guess so.” Therin tapped his head. “If you aren’t immortal, perhaps.” He shut the door and sat back on Uffield’s bed. He once again took note of her watch history. Why had she exited the show she had been watching entirely?

Perhaps she had simply been too excited to watch Naruto with him. Uffield didn’t seem like the particularly excitable type, though perhaps he was wrong about that...He glanced at the episode she was on and took note of that as well, before quickly moving back to Naruto.

He glanced back to Uffield, confused as to why she didn’t move. “Oh, or do you not want to keep watching with me?”

“N-no, not at all!” Uffield promptly moved to his side.

“Good, good.”

He pressed play.

The next day, he saw a flicker of a tentacle retreating beneath Uffield’s blanket as the door suddenly flung open before him.

“Hello, Uffield.”

“H-hi. You’re back again?”

“Indeed I am.”

...

“May I walk in?”

“What are you, a vampire?”

“Heh. No, nothing of the sort, I’m afraid. I’m simply courteous.”

“I thought supervillains were meant to be mean.”

“Mean? No, we aren’t mean. You said your father was nice, didn’t you? He’s the...umm...superiest of villains, yet he is quite nice. Courteous...perhaps not, but he doesn’t wish harm upon people.” Therin shrugged as he stepped in. “Though I guess that’s more or less because we stopped being mean a while ago. I think he told me sometime in the early fifties that we should be more ‘progressive’. So, I removed some of our more middling white villains and replaced them with better black ones. I’m not sure how that counts as ‘progressive’ considering that doing so only promoted stereotypes, but your father has a...a brain, alright. Actually, he doesn’t even have that, but I think you understand what I mean...or do you? You don’t have a brain after all so-”

“I do.”

“Oh. Well, anyhow, your father is a weird person. He used to be quite the mean man, someone like...Orochimaru, but I think something changed him in more recent years. I personally couldn’t care less for the ‘ethics’ he’s asked me to follow, but I don’t mind either way. He is, after all, my cousin. Also, my benefactor, at that.”

“Cool.”

Therin crossed his arms. “You don’t talk much, do you?”

“Sorry...”

“Not a large vocabulary either. How about you try saying, ‘I apologize’ instead of ‘sorry’.”

“I-I appologize?”

“Yes, like so. No worries, though, I don’t mind either way. I couldn’t care less about how talkative you are.”

“A-are you sure? Dad says I should talk more.”

“Of course he would. He wants someone he can fling puns at all day, like mud. Or poop. He’d like that, wouldn’t he...at least you haven’t picked up on his toilet humor.”

“Toilet humor? What’s that?”

“Like...poop jokes.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah. Your father’s bar for ‘humor’ is low. That said-”

“Hehe, Dad can’t even poop.”

“Yes, yes, he likes to pretend he’s human...which I suppose isn’t completely incorrect, but he most certainly doesn’t poop...though I must wonder what in the world he does in the bathroom. It is certainly something devious. Speaking of which, do you poop?”

Uffield awkwardly shifted...

“Err...forget I asked. W-we should start watching no-”

“T-Therin?”

“Yes?”

“Why...are you staying with me? Don’t you have other things to do?”

He frowned. “Do you not want me here?”

“No! I mean...don’t you want to do other things?”

Therin shook his head. “This is only a simulacrum. I’m doing other projects in the background, you know.”

“I know, but...you could still be doing something else? Why are you here?”

He looked down, frowning. “Your father asked me to babysit you.”

“But you could’ve turned him down!” she argued.

Therin’s eyes moved left and right as he searched for an answer. “U-umm...you see...Ahh, right. I’m here because I see...because this is an experiment.”

“Experiment?”

“Yes. You are a pureblood, three-quarters eldritch being. I’m trying to learn about you and your biology.”

“Oh.”

“And since I said it, I did have a question for you...”

“What is it?”

“Are you a lesbian?”

...

“W...what’s a lesbian?”

“Err...actually, better question- are you asexual or not?”

“What...is a sexual?”

“H-how old are you again?”

“Nine.”

“Oh. Strange...” He muttered to himself with concern. He glanced at the screen. “It says that you watched two seasons of...High School DxD, correct?”

“Y-yeah...”

“Is that not a ‘harem slash romance slash ecchi’ anime? Are nine-year-olds into those sorts of shows?”

“U-umm...I-I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she said, stepping back. “I-I don’t know what that is, n-nope.”

...

“Are you by any chance...lying to me?”

“N-no!”

Therin sighed. “Do you know what puberty is?”

“N-no?”

“Do you go to a school?”

“Miss Oligarch teaches me things.”

“I see...And how long have you been watching shows like that?”

“U-umm...since...a while ago.”

“A year?”

“Something like that?”

He nodded. “Then it probably is that...”

“I-is what?”

Therin walked back past Uffield and into the doorway. “That you’re going through a...phase. Fascinating research already.”

“A-am I going to get in trouble for watching bad stuff?”

“Uhh, no. I’m sure your father will laugh when he hears about it.” Therin walked away without saying anything else, and Uffield nervously shut the door behind him.

The next day, the door opened for Therin, and he saw the wrapped-up entity once more standing behind it, a tentacle wrapped around the handle.

“Y-you’re back?” Uffield asked.

“Yes, once more.” Therin coughed. “Your father said it would be best if I watched over you, and I agreed. As the heir to his seat as The Dark President, your growth must be properly overseen and studied. Gau trusts me greatly, so he put me in charge of you.” He cleared his throat. “So for now, I’ll be your third care...guardian. Is that alright with you?”

“W-why?”

“Why? Because Miss Oligarch is not informed enough on eldritch biology, of course. That leaves it to one such as myself to take her place.” Therin ‘forgot’ to mention how Gau had met with Uffield earlier that day and said that she seemed much happier after his visits. He also failed to mention how he had chewed Gou out with vindictiveness for failing to properly take care of his daughter, or how he had personally vouched for Uffield’s need for a more serious caregiver, or for that matter, how he had volunteered for the role.

He heard Uffield sob under her sheet.

“Sorry, is everything alright?”

“Y-yeah.”

“That sounds like a lie.”

“R-really?” she asked as if she were happy about what he had said.

“Yes? What is wrong, Uff...hmm...” He frowned. “Would you prefer a shorter name? Your father told me that you were rather attached to your gender. Perhaps you would want a more feminine one? Like a shorthand?” He shook his head. “No, no that’s off topic. What’s wrong?”

“Are you going to stop being with me?”

He grumbled annoyedly. “Did you not listen to everything I’ve been saying? I meant that I’m going to become your babysitter for...quite a while.”

“But...Dad’s also my guardian, and he’s never with me...”

“Yes, but that’s different.”

“A-and Miss Oligarch is mean. She doesn’t like to be with me.”

“I had a feeling that was the case. Don’t worry, I don’t find your presence unenjoyable.”

“B-but both of them said that, too! They stopped liking me...”

Therin shook his head. “Your father hardly stopped liking you. He simply gained other priorities.”

“But you’re going to have ‘other priorities’, too!” she yelled.

Therin kneeled down. “I have no plans to gain new priorit-”

“But you will!”

He closed his eyes, then placed a hand on the small, knee-height entity. “Fine. Then I’ll tell you something important. Remember it. I promise...

Therin landed on the cliff side. Uffield had not moved.

As he walked forward, the cats layering the ground parted, and Maysray stood up.

“You’re back so soon? What’s up?”

“Everyone. Leave her field of vision,” Therin commanded.

“W-what are you holding?” she asked as some cats left the premesis.

He held a strange, metal, donut-shaped...thing by a handle that seemed to attach to it with sparks of electricity. “A fourth-dimensional circle. And that was an order, cats. Unless you want to get hurt.”

“Therin?” Maysray stepped foward, a hand coutiously outstretched. “What are you planning to do? We’re fine as we are.”

“What’s happening?” Uffield asked. “I can’t tell. Therin’s here?”

“Leave her premises, Maysray. Same goes for you, Saphire.”

Saphire unquestioningly stepped out as the rest of the cats reluctantly followed orders.

“Therin, you said you wouldn’t do this!” Maysray yelled. “You said-”

“Plans change. Leave. Now.”

She shook her head. “I’m not leaving! Don’t do this, Therin!”

He stepped forward, and into Uffield’s field of view.

“Oh, Therin, you’re back! What’s up?”

He threw the device as Maysray held out her arms defensively. The donut suddenly flashed, and suddenly, a metal dome encapsulated both him, Uffield, and the few cats that remained within.

Therin continued forward as he pulled a metal stick from his belt.

As he reached the defensive Maysray, he effortlessly smacked her aside.

“Therin? Therin what’s going on?” The eldritch entity asked, stepping back. “I-I can’t fly. I can’t feel any of my power-”

“Shut up.”

She stopped speaking.

Therin pressed a button on the stick, and a small yellow spark began flying around it at incredible speeds. He looked down at Uffield, his face and arms twitching as he raised the device up.

“So...you were lying,” Uffield said, her form falling limp, turning what almost looked like a lifeless puddle.

I promise that I won’t gain other priorities.

Therin’s jaw twitched as he imagined plunging the device into the creature. He had to do it. He had planned for over two decades for this. He couldn’t allow Uffield to become a threat. He couldn’t give her the opportunity to fight him.

“This was your plan all along, wasn’t it?” she said, her voice quaking. “You wanted to know how to defeat us. To learn how I ticked, what I could do...if your...plan needed to worry about me.”

Two years ago. Two years ago, Uffield left Gau’s estate. Therin hardly got a goodbye. It wasn’t a problem, he thought. He could always simply visit her in Changeton, if he wished.

He never did it again.

“So it was all meaningless?”

Therin’s jaw twitched, and before he knew what he was doing, he spoke, “M-meaningless!? O-of course, it was. One moment fades, and the next needs attending to. That’s how a being of Law operates.”

Uffield said nothing.

“You never meant any more than anyone else who stood in my way. You aren’t some special case. You aren’t unique, and your life is...is just as meaningless as any other individual’s.”

“It...really never did matter, did it?” Uffield sobbed. “I...I don’t matter, do I?”

Therin’s mouth grew slack. What did she mean by that?

“I failed. I’m useless. I shouldn’t have done any of this. I should’ve just...just did what Dad wanted. But instead...instead, I’m stuck here with you! I should’ve listened to myself...when I heard what you were doing. I wanted to believe that you cared for me, but...but I guess I don’t matter, do I? I’ll die a-a meaningless death. I’ll...have done nothing, in the end...” Uffield suddenly burst into sobs, her form cowering further into the ground. “I’m sorry, Therin, I’m sorry...I should have known...”

“I...” he stabbed downward with the device.

“And I promise that my plans won’t change, either. Actually...no, let me revise that statement. I’ll change my plans around you. That’s what a good guardian would do.”

“R-really?”

“Yes, that is indeed what guardians do. They don’t forget about their charges.”

“Thanks...”

“But I shouldn’t forget! I suggested that I make a nickname for you...do you want something more feminine?”

“H-how about cute?”

“Cute? Well, ‘Cute’ names are often quite silly and dilapidated, quite improper as well.

“I-is that fine?”

“Of course. Cuteness...is an interesting property. Although something ‘cute’ most often exhibits traits of something objectively bad, such as the traits I just listed. Though that, something gains an ‘endearing’ trait, which is often interpreted as, ‘cute’, such as a baby being weak and having small hands, for example.”

“Oh, okay...a-am I cute?”

“You?” Therin looked at the blanketed person like she was an alien, which she was. “Erm...y-you’re...s-something alright.”

“Hey! I thought being my guardian meant you would be nice to me!” she gently smacked his leg with a tentacle.

He chuckled. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry! Erm...I ‘apologize’, I shouldn’t set double standards on you. Or...actually, I’m not sorry, I take back why I said.”

“Huh?”

He smiled at her. “I think you look quite rediculous.”

“That’s even worse!”

“No, no, you misunderstand. What I meant was that you have a very...endearing negative trait, and I find it very ‘cute’”

“M-mm...”

“Oh, is something wrong?” he asked in response to her grumble. “I intended that as a compliment.”

“N-no, it’s just...I’m embarrassed.”

...

“HAHAHA! Oh really, now? I guess I should give you an equally embarrassing name, then.”

“W-what name?”

“You can call it a working name; I’m sure you’ll try on a few others, but what about...”

His eyes widened with abject fear.

“W-w-whaaaat?! What the heck was that glitch?”

Therin typed on his computer, the dark room he sat in only illuminated by its blue light.

“P-pfft! Look at that! Wait...did they program those panties into the model!? That’s hilarious! Oh, wait, I don’t want to get banned, ahh!”

Therin smiled warmly as he continued typing into the programming console of the supercomputer.

“Err...well, I have to apologize for the black screen. I-I don’t really know if Twitch is fine with that sort of thing. But, hey! At least you get to hear my lovely voice~”

Therin laughed aloud.

“Uhh...I’ll just restart the game, I guess. One more failed run to the counter...Am I going to stream any other games? I don’t know. Maybe I’ll watch some anime with you all if you’re bored of that? I heard that some people had their streams taken down for that, though, so no guarantees!...My family? I guess we can talk about that while my shit computer loads up...speaking of which, I’m getting a new computer soon! Yay! But...uhh, right, my family...Actually, I don’t know if I can talk about that...Although, honestly, I had a really weird family. I kinda had a guy who was more like my Dad than my Dad was...but he was only my guardian. Does that count as family?”

Therin paused. He then moved windows with a quick hotkey, revealing Uffield’s stream, where only a few dozen people were watching, and she had just booted up her game.

“No?” she asked.

He clicked on the chat box.

{Of course it does!}

The sparks of the instrument designed to kill Uffield hovered not even an inch from the black mass of Uffield’s body.

Therin couldn’t do it.

“I apologize, Uffy.”

The dome was silent.

He carefully stepped back, tears rushing from the lawful being’s eyes, then turned around. “Your brother...I-I caused...he died. I-I’m sorry.” He suddenly crumpled to the ground, kneeling and facing away from Uffield. “I...I can’t kill you. Everything I said...was a lie. I do care for you. You mean a lot to me. But I can’t...I can’t let you interfere, I-”

Two tentacles wrapped around his waist, then he felt something squish against his back, neither cold nor warm.

“I didn’t think I would act so dumb...” he muttered. “I didn’t need to go here, I didn’t need to talk to you. I should have just let sleeping dogs lie.”

“Don’t...don’t be stupid, Therin.”

He looked down. “I already said I was. I can’t exactly turn back time.”

“No, Therin...I-I don’t...why are you so...dumb?”

He chuckled with defeat. “Dumb, you say?”

“Why...why didn’t you just ask me for help?”

His eyes widened.

“Why did we need to be enemies?”

“I...” he squeaked out, “I can’t even remember. Chaos...I must really be dumb if I can’t remember something as meaningful as that.”

“So...we...we still have a chance, okay?”

“How? Your brother is dead, Uffield. I know how much he meant to you.”

“I-I can’t give up. Drade said...that sometimes, someone can travel back in time!”

“An ability like that is a fairy tale, Uffield. You can’t turn back time.”

“But Drade said that he lived through it! Sometimes, he would spend days on end trapped in a time loop. If...if we’re in one of those today...”

“You’re being...ridiculous. This is just the denial stage of grief, Uffy. It’s just a symptom of you being a chaotic-”

“And what’s wrong with that?! There’s still a chance, and I won’t give up on it. If we can somehow remember everything, like Drade can...and- and if the day turned back today, then...”

“I...I only know one other being who could do that, Uffield. Law.”

The word reverberated through the dome.

“But he’s impossible to contact, on the fifth plane of the spirit realm and...perhaps even beyond the Gates of Law.”

“We can...we can ask Dad, then.”

“I doubt he’s any more informed than I am, Uffy.”

A dreary silence overtook them all.

Therin stood, the tentacles on his lap falling limply, then walked to the edge of the dome and flicked it. As though it were more fragile than the thinnest pane of glass, which it was, it completely shattered, then turned to nothingness.

“I’m leaving, Uffield. Please, don’t interfere.”

“We can still save him, Therin, we-”

“Uffield...sometimes, people die. It can so often be meaningless, but that’s just life.”

“No. He isn’t meaningless...” Uffield tried to yell. “He...he isn’t meaningless to me. Not to me.”

“I’m...I’m so sorry.” Therin stepped out and flew away while Uffield tried to yell something.

He knew he didn’t want to hear it.