I struggled to come up with the words. It was taking an immense amount of willpower to accept the very real possibility that Cannoli wouldn’t be in my Party anymore. It hurt like hell.

But even Keke had agreed that Cannoli might just not be cut out for it. They were like sisters. I’m sure it wasn’t said lightly.

Apparently I took too long to say anything. Melly shifted from one foot to the other beneath my gaze, her eyes darting to the side. She licked her lips and brushed her hair away from her shoulder. “Matt, I can’t exactly tell you no, but… I don’t think a kitten would be the best idea for me right now—”

“No, that’s not it.” I shook my head. “Sorry. Let me start over. Cannoli told me that she needs to spend time on her faith. Outside of my Party.”

“Oh. I’m sorry to hear that,” Melly replied, lifting her eyes.

“Yeah, me too. So I honestly don’t know if she’ll ever come back. But I want to be ready once I change to [Battleguard]... which means I need a healer.” I brushed a hand through my hair. “You’ve been great with Ceres and Lara, and clearly the rest of Rājadhānī feels the same way.” I gestured to Serenity. “I’d love it if you came with me.”

Melly’s eyes widened a fraction, and her tail flicked behind her. She chewed her lower lip and took her time to answer. “I’m flattered that you’d ask me. Really.” Glancing over her shoulder, she continued. “And if it’s what you command, I understand that I have to abide.”

Ravyn wasn’t kidding. These girls really don’t have a choice when it comes to men.

“But my city and my people need me,” she continued. “There aren’t many knowledgeable healers in the First and Second Shells, and perhaps one or two in the Third. Most of the girls know little more than basic first aid.”

I worked to keep my face neutral. She had a point, but damn, it didn’t make the rejection any easier. “I see.”

“I’m not saying no. Maybe… when you’re done with your Class change, I’ll be free to join you. Right now, though, I think me leaving the island would only hurt it more.” She clasped her hands over her skirt and bowed her head. “Please don’t misunderstand. I know full well that this is your choice to make.”

“I’m not going to force you to leave, Melly. You’re right. There are a lot of sick girls in the Third Shell that need you. It was selfish of me to ask.” Damn it.

“No, not at all. If you’d asked me two weeks ago, I would have gone with you without a second thought. Just… a lot of things have changed, you know?” Melly grinned. “I have to say, I never thought I’d be the first pick for a man’s Party.”

“Anyone would be lucky to have you.” I glanced to the side, catching Serenity’s expectant stare. She needed Melly. “In that case, what can I do to help you while I’m here?”

“Oh! Really?” Her mood brightened, and the tension seeped from her shoulders. “I don’t want to take up too much of your time!”

“Nah. I have a few days here still. I want to help.” Anything to keep my mind off of the future. Off of my Party splintering away into fragments. “Whatever you need. Just name it.”

“That would be wonderful, Matt. Thank you!” Melly reached into her [Cat Pack] and tugged free a small leather journal and a thin stick of graphite. “This has helped me more than I can say,” she said, catching my curious stare. Flipping the dark cover open, she turned to an empty page and began to write a list. “I need these ingredients for a few common potions and tinctures that I’ve noticed are rare within the Third Shell.”

“Melly?” Serenity called.

“I’ll be right there, sweetheart. Just another moment for me,” Melly replied over her shoulder before returning to her list.

“[Alchemy] ingredients?” I wondered aloud.

She nodded, not looking up from her work. “Yes. Do you practice [Alchemy]?”

“Only a little,” I admitted. “I can see if Destiny or Ravyn are free. Otherwise, I can at least help you brew.”

“Honestly, so long as you don’t mind chopping up ingredients, a second pair of hands would really speed up the process.” She carefully tore the page free from her journal and passed it to me.

“Where do I get these?” I asked, skimming over the unfamiliar ingredients. Fangs and nails of Encroachers I’d never heard of, plants I couldn’t pronounce, and any number of ingredients that could have been solid or liquid.

“The citadel keeps most, if not all, of these in their stores. I’m not sure if the castle’s [Alchemist] hung around after the duel. I haven’t seen her.” She gave an apologetic shrug. “But if you can ask Lady Naeemah or Eshe, they should be able to help you find them.”

“Yeah, sure thing. One of them should talk to me, right? I don’t think I’m all that scary.” I smiled. “Jeenie may have some of the Encroacher parts, too.”

“Oh, Jeenie talks to you?” Melly returned my smile. “She made a point to stay as far away from King Magni as possible.”

I imagined Jeenie crouched behind one of the roach cages, hissing when Magni came within thirty feet. It was way too easy to see, and the thought made me laugh. “I’ll take it as a compliment. But yeah, she talks to me.”

“That’s great! Well, as soon as you have everything, just come find me around here, and we’ll get brewing.” Melly tucked her notebook back in her pack. “Thank you again, Matt. This means a lot to me.”

“No problem, Melly. I want to keep my hands busy. See you in a bit.” I gave her a small nod, stuffed the list in my [Cat Pack], and headed back to the castle.

So much for staying away for the day.

The thought of leaving the island once again clamped around my chest. It was so damn hard to try to find the same excitement and anticipation for seeing Nyarlothep as I’d had the first few days of arriving on Ni. I’d promised Keke and Cannoli that we’d see it together. Well, we would see it together, but this wasn’t how I’d pictured it at all.

This world wasn’t what I’d pictured at all.

At least you’re helping them. Isn’t that what you wanted?

I sighed and marched back to the castle. As I passed through the First Shell, a sudden movement caught the corner of my eye. A tail of black hair and a wave of green silk disappeared inside the glass greenhouse.

Naeemah?

Well, I needed to talk to her anyway. If she decided to ignore me like she usually did, then I could check her off my list and go find Eshe and Jeenie.

I changed course for the greenhouse, passing a few catgirls carrying wicker baskets piled with dirty sheets and clothing. They smiled and greeted me warmly, and I did my best to do the same.

The shattered glass from Naeemah’s initial break-in had been swept away from the path, and it seemed that someone had removed the broken doorframe, leaving behind a rectangle of smooth glass. I caught Naeemah’s silhouette disappearing down the farthest row of plants and jogged to catch up.

Three steps down the aisle, a hand gripped my shoulder and spun me around. I nearly jumped out of my skin.

“Why are you following me?” Naeemah hissed, eyes narrowed. She still wore her [Civilian Mode] dress but had a dagger clasped in her hand.

I raised my empty hands to my sides. “Jesus. I come in peace.”

She frowned.

“Sorry. I—” I began to lower my hand to my pack, and she raised the dagger. I froze. “—I have an [Alchemy] shopping list that Melly said you could help me with.”

Lowering the blade, she nodded.

I retrieved the paper and held it out for her.

She accepted it, and her frown deepened as she looked it over. “Eshe can help you with this.”

I shrugged. “I saw you come in here and figured I’d take my chances. Didn’t mean to interrupt anything.”

She passed it back. “The medicinal ingredient stores are in the healing ward of the citadel. I understand you’re familiar with the [Priest]s there. They can help you.”

It was my turn to frown. “How do you know that?”

“It’s part of my role as Queen. No Bell, service, or trade is exchanged without my knowledge.” She strode down the row of thin, bushy-leaved trees with ruby blossoms the size of my hand. She’d turned away from me, but it felt like she had eyes in the back of her head, always watching. “Will that be all?”

Why do you seem more upset than usual? It didn’t seem like the place to ask. Well, okay, maybe a part of me was more worried that her blade would disappear inside my chest if I dared to question her. “You know, I have been wondering. When we first got here, why did you break down the door?” I motioned behind me to the greenhouse’s opening.

Naeemah rested her hands behind her, back perfectly straight, shoulders squared, chin held high. Everything about her read ‘Queen’ with a capital Q. She pursed her lips, studying one of the flowers in silence.

Just as I was ready to give up and go, she replied, “There are dozens of methods and hundreds of years of farming and [Harvesting] cataloged on Ichi Island. Beyond the unprecedented sugar shortage, I have always fed my people on the gifts from the sands.” She fingered a long, red petal. “Not a single plant, spice, or flower in this structure is native to Ichi Island. They were all imported at a premium.”

“Trade keeps each of the islands going though, right?” I asked. This was definitely more of Tristan and Cailu’s area.

“It does. And in time, I will have the door repaired.” Naeemah plucked the flower away from its tree. She spun it between her fingers, and the stem caught fire, petals enveloped by flames.

I stepped back, surprised. Wasn’t sure if that was just a quirk of the flower or if Naeemah was casting Magic outside of [Combat Mode].

“However,” she spoke through gritted teeth, spreading the ashes to the dirt, “this building is another act of unneeded extravagance. Bells and resources that should have been allocated to every citizen in every corner of this island.”

Yeah. Okay. I probably would have done the same thing. “I see your point.” I tried to think of how to transition the conversation and failed. “Thanks for humoring me. I’ll leave you be.”

“Hold on, Matt.” Her expression softened, though she didn’t look at me. “Thank you.”

For…? But a reason never came. I had too many things to think about anyway, and I didn’t want to press her. “You’re welcome.”

I left the greenhouse without another word, returning to my hunt for ingredients.

Between the [Priest]s and a giddy Jeenie, I managed to scrape everything together. Had to borrow an extra [Cat Pack] from the ward to bring it all to Melly, but it made it easier than carrying them in multiple trips or a giant sack.

I found Melly tending to another kitten with a cut on her forehead. She smiled when she saw me.

“How many days did you say you have left?” she asked.

“Three, I think,” I replied, handing her the extra pack.

“Great. I’ll take up as much of your time as you’ll give me.” Melly picked through the [Cat Pack] and pulled out a bottle with swirling blue liquid inside. “I’ll throw three meals a day and a comfortable bed into the bargain if it sweetens the deal.”

There was an unmistakable trace of understanding in her tone. She’d read me like a book. And I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t grateful.

“That sounds great, Melly. Thanks.”

“Don’t mention it.” Ruffling the kitten’s hair between her ears, her smile widened. “Let’s get to work.”