Harlan was on his communicator with Autumn, his family had started calling him since they had expected him back already and were starting to worry.

“How are you holding up today?”

“Things are ok now, the jail has been cleared out and the main army took over for the nobles army once it got out how bad things were. but…”

“But what?”

“9,000, that is how many died so far, they expect 10,000 by the time they get a full tally. Most of them weren’t even infested. Bombs, riots, thieves, merchants trying to get out, all of it is just-”

“Terrible?”

“Human. There was a riot 2 days ago, not because of food or being locked inside their homes. But because the brothels were infested from top to bottom, being used to get drunk men in vulnerable positions to get a spider in them. The idiots who frequent such places but just got diseases instead of a parasite wanted somewhere to release themselves, they actually asked that we let the woman who used to work there out even with the spiders inside them. I…I wanted to…”

“You are tired, don’t think too much about them. When times are hard people look for comfort in anything they can, drink or narcotics or sex. It isn’t worth bringing yourself down to their level, once things calm down they might realize how ridiculous they have been. Meanwhile, when are you coming back?

It would help you to be around us, and Redmond got back a few days ago.”

“This is the last day, everyone in the city from the beggars to the mayor is getting another once over to make sure every single one of them is who they say they are. Then Sepul said he would just take us right home with a gate.”

Harlan heard yelling outside.

“Another argument, I’ll see you all by dinner, I hope.”

“I’ll make sure everyone is here at the mansion.”

“Thank you.”

Adina was yelling at a soldier.

“You cannot leave the building.”

“I am a healer, I should be out there helping with the checks.”

“You are not allowed to leave the building.”

“Why?”

“We do not need to tell you, your orders are to stay inside.”

Harlan approached them.

“Soldier, do we have an issue?”

“Lady Adina of House Fomoria is not to leave the premises of the hotel.”

“Why?”

“I am not required to tell you.”

“If you cannot tell me, then I am taking her outside. If you do intend to stop me, then you will need to use force or call your commander to explain why.”

The man narrowed his eyes and called over a golem.

“You are also not allowed to leave the hotel.”

Harlan was done, he wanted to spend some time in the sun to just relax without being called to handle something.

He just walked past the man.

The golems were working with cotton gloves on, and Harlan knew it.

So he made no directly harmful movement against it, instead he slipped his mental powers under the shell and directly interfaced with the gem.

In a short minute it turned from a warmachine into a statue with no harm to any component.

The soldier followed after him, threatening arrest and telling him he wasn’t allowed to leave.

The first floor was full of soldiers, the commander among them.

“If one of you doesn’t explain what the fuck is happening I’m going to just go through you.”

The commander was a man in his 60s, he was there because he was a brown noser and a logistically minded man, not a good mage or fighter.

“Please, Sir Fomoria, let's not get violent.”

“I’m waiting for an explanation.”

His eyes burned like suns through the slits in his helmet, he floated a foot off the ground and tapped his fingers on the handle for his weapon for extra effect.

The commander got closer and put up a veil.

“A mage will side with another mage rather than the army, if one of them is infested and tells another mage that the army is unjustly trying to detain them things could get dangerous very quickly.”

The man very much wanted to get away from Harlan.

“Adina, we are going back to the room.”

When Harlan got back to their room he called Sepul.

15 minutes later Harlan was taken out and checked by Sepul who cleared him and challenged anyone to stand in his way as he opened a gate to the Redwall mansion.

“I’ll send your carriages through another gate once I am done with everything else I need to do here.”

“Thank you. And, for the record, I believe Skit should be allowed to live for study.”

“I will pass that along when his case goes to court.”

The two of them stepped through the gate and the guards on the other side were startled but quickly recognized Harlan.

Once inside he asked a maid if she knew if anyone in the family was busy.

After 10 minutes of running around she learned that Ava was out on a mission, Autumn was taking a nap with the children, and Redwall had business meetings and would be away until the evening.

Jaramis however was free and headed this way.

He didn’t bother with a bow and neither did Harlan.

“Autumn said she wasn’t expecting you until dinner.”

“I got away early, luckily I have friends in high places.”

“Would you and your friend like to get dressed in something a bit more friendly?”

He had been living in his armor for about 9 days at this point, he didn’t think for a moment how it looked.

It didn’t help that he lost the robe when someone threw a firebomb at him.

“Thank you for reminding me.”

Harlan made the armor slip under his clothes and pull back from his hands and head until it was barely visible.

Unfortunately there wasn’t much to be done about the mana gems that stuck out on their waists, but the armor was like a safety blanket and he no longer liked being outside of it.

Adina saw this and so did the same.

“Harlan, would you like to borrow some clothes?”

They were heavily stained with blood and nearly torn to shreds, Harlan never really paid too much attention to it, having worried more about how he should be out doing something.

“Yes, thank you.”

Jaramis awkwardly laughed and led the way to a guest room where a maid would bring him something to wear.

Once he was dressed they made their way to the tearoom.

Adina had never been inside a normal nobles mansion, compared to Harlan’s it was technically more impressive with its wide windows and halls, its white walls and myriad artworks.

Yet it did not feel like a home to her, it reminded her far too much of the place she was raised.

Though she couldn’t actually see many of the details, so she couldn’t be sure.

“Harlan, could you be my eyes for a little bit?”

“Sure.”

They now walked hand in hand, sometimes she stumbled due to seeing from his perspective instead of her own, but it was worth every second.

Once they sat down a maid poured tea for each of them and they began to talk.

“Did you two get much rest at least?”

“My mind was… distant at times, I think I slept on the 3nd and 7th day.”

“I worked 12 hours and then slept 12 hours. I think I gained a few pounds from all of the tonic and rest.”

“It is unfortunate that you were wrapped up in such horrible business.”

“If it was just the spiders, it would’ve been easier. It was all the people who really bothered me. The world wasn’t ending, the sky didn’t fall down, but so many of them turned into selfish animals, it was just so…”

“Human?”

“Yes.”

“Autumn told me that you were having a hard time handling things. I can’t say I would be any different, I only served in the army for a year, it was not long before you got back that I returned. I had to deal with a few mercenary groups, little better than bandits really, but they were on our side. I would never say it to Autumn, but I was impressed. Every time I thought that I couldn’t be more disappointed, they overcame that wall without fail. But you are the one who thinks people are people, judge them on their own merits and nothing else, right?”

“Yeah, I know. It is hard, but I still haven't said I won’t do it. Pain in the ass dealing with pricks who spit on you and then demand you save their lives. But it is better than becoming a prick who spits on people and doesn’t save them. I really thought things were going to be easy after the 7th day, but then there was talk about extending the lockdown another few days after the final check, and well…”

They talked for a while before Autumn arrived with the twins.

Harlan was always happy to see how fast they grew, sometimes life could feel like nothing was changing, like he was going through the motions, kill, learn, come back home, kill, learn. They were a clear sign that time was moving forward and he wasn’t stuck in some purgatory.

“Jarrick, can you say Uncle Harlan?”

“Hawen.”

“I swear, he could do it last night. I hope I didn’t make you wait long.”

“Not at all, I was just talking to Jaramis about how people are-”

Autumn raised an eyebrow, as if daring him to say it in front of the kids.

“Unkind sometimes. But that doesn’t matter, how have you two been.”

Alana wasn’t quite as awake as her brother and buried her face in Autumn’s chest instead of answering.

“Nappy.”

“Would you like to go sit on your uncle's lap?”

Jarrik ran over and began talking to him.

Harlan could barely understand what he was saying, so he just nodded and made affirmative sounds.

Harlan was glad that they only needed the bare minimum of obfuscation to hide what they were talking about around the children.

The more he talked the more it felt like a distant memory, something that happened in the past.

He could analyze it instead of just dwelling on what he saw.

Then he finally realized, he never had the chance to really talk with Adina about it.

“Adina, do you want to take a walk in the garden, stretch our legs before everyone else gets here?”

Jaramis was about to say it was a good idea when Autumn shifted in her seat, making him realize that he should shut up.

“While I would like to come along, I think Autumn and I have preparations to attend to.”

Harlan led her by the hand out to the garden, setting up an invisible veil that would follow them.

It simply blocked sound, he never did find out how to make one that faked conversation or blurred their mouths.

He stopped himself from going down the path of whys and brainstorming hows.

“How are you dealing with it all?”

“I was just healing people while under heavy guard, you were the one flying all around and seeking them out. I know this is going to sound really bad, but I think you agonize about other people too much.

You clearly understand, but refuse to accept that you can’t save everyone.”

“Don’t turn this back on me, how are you doing?”

“I am glad to be out, and it was terrible, but that is just what it was. Unless you could see the future and know that it was going to get that bad in the first place, you couldn’t have changed anything.

Archmagi and the army got things back in order, there is only so much that one person can do.”

“You did all that you could.”

“What?”

She narrowed her eyes, though her glare held far less power over him than Autumn’s.

“You did everything that you could, even if you couldn’t save everyone, it wasn’t your fault.”

“Stop trying to turn this around on me. I am fine with what happened, I’m past it. You are the one who keeps lingering on it.”

The anger was plain on her face.

“I can’t read minds, but I can feel your emotions, regret, shame, sadness, anger. I can tell who they are pointing at or if they are just general emotions.”

“Oh? Then who am I angry at?”

“Mostly me, but also yourself. You and I both know that nobody just shuts down and accepts things like this, you are upset, we both are. I am sure if I called Mary, she would talk to you about this.”

“Shut up, you are going to be the one who deals with me. I’m angry, I got pushed around for the last week by people who either saw me as your mistress or as a stupid girl in over her head. Now hold my hand and show me these damn flowers.”

“Of course.”

It took time, but after Lugh left Harlan did try to learn about plants.

Mostly the ones that were actually useful in alchemy, the language of flowers was something he was picking up from books Yara asked him to read.

They just walked circles through the garden while Adina vented about mages or soldiers who shuffled her around like she was a piece of military equipment until she was too tired to heal.

At which point she was either scolded for not knowing her limits and pushing herself or because she didn’t have higher limits.

Yet she grinned and bore it, not wanting things to become worse between her and the army or for her to cause problems for Harlan.

Nobody said it, but some of them knew who she was and they did not like that she happened to be born in the wrong place.

Eventually their peace, well, ignoring all the shouting, was broken by a maid telling Harlan that his family had arrived.

“Thank you for listening, I really didn’t want to push more on you. But you forced my hand.”

“It helps me to help others. Yara talks about how ideas aren’t real until you actually say them, I think the same applies to feeling like you are ok about something that happened. Until you know how you say it outloud, you never really know.”

“How did you ever get so eloquent?”

“By stealing the words of people smarter than me and changing them to fit my needs.”

Adina giggled.

“Did you steal that one too?”

“That was an original.”

Once they made their way inside his family embraced him with a group hug, his mother checking for new scars or signs of distress on his face.

“Mom, I’m fine.”

“I don’t believe it, you always get yourself wrapped up in things like this. Couldn’t you just leave it to somebody else?”

“No, I can’t. Everyone who died now is because I stopped something far worse from happening.”

“Honey, it isn’t your fault.”

“You don’t understand.”

She furrowed her brow and waited for him to explain.

“Ten thousand people died, but if I wasn’t there, and I didn’t find out about the spiders, it could’ve been the entire city, it could’ve been more cities around it. It wasn’t good that it happened, but it is better than if I had turned away.”

“But you didn’t need to be there, you could’ve just told them and left, you are still a child, my child, you don’t need to be a hero.”

She had held back while they talked on the amulets, but it was the most scared for him she had ever been.

With the situation with the lich it was already over by the time she heard about it.

With him being kidnapped she had gotten assurances of him being fine.

Yet for the 9 days he was stuck in a city that was full of enemies who could be anyone, around any corner.

He had been beaten with hammers, firebombed, he got into fights with soldiers who he thought went too far, and worst of all was how coldly he talked about the people he didn’t think deserved to be saved but did anyway.

“Mom, I’m not a hero, but if I didn’t do anything then I would be a monster. You don’t like it, but I would never be able to look you or dad in the eyes again if I left those people to die when I know I could’ve helped them.

If I was just a random citizen in the city then you would hate me if I was a mage who didn’t help.”

“I could never hate you, you’re my baby boy.”

“I know, but I didn’t do it for you. I did it for me.”

Redmond realized they would just end up talking in circles.

“Harlan is a grown up now, why don’t you and Harlan go see Autumn and the kids.”

“He is 15.”

She said with more fury than she would’ve liked.

“Sorry, honey, let’s go see them.”

Amber took his mothers place worrying about him.

“I should’ve gone with you. I tried getting permission to go there but I was told that even if I went to the city they would turn me away.”

“I did that.”

“What?”

“Amber-”

Redmond decided to save his nephew from her.

“Harlan, let me take over, I understand why you did it, I think.”

He quieted down and let his uncle have the floor.

“Amber, you have warmagic, combat magic, illusions. Which part of that would’ve been helpful in that city?”

“I could’ve helped keep the peace.”

“No, you would’ve been a bludgeon to be used against scared and desperate people. Have you ever killed anyone?”

“Of course, I’ve been involved in plenty of missions where people died.”

Redmond looked at her, they both knew that it wasn’t exactly true.

“I’ve never directly killed another person, but I could.”

“A place like that is not somewhere you want to freeze up. Harlan, were you in danger? Even with your armor and everyone else around?”

“Yes, I was hit by firebombs, caught in blasts that took down buildings and nearly ruptured my organs, I had my arms and legs broken trying to break up fights, I was threatened with a court martial more than once. There was not a single day after the city descended into chaos that I didn’t need to kill somebody or end up with an injury. I was out there on the frontlines finding the infested in crowds of people and trying to stop things from getting worse. If you never killed before, then you were not ready for what was happening.”

“I could’ve been there as a guard for you. I’m your Master Warmage, remember?”

“We both know that I could never do what I did if I was worried about you. Adina at least had golem armor and she was just healing people.”

“Fine, then get me one of them, then you don’t have as many excuses for next time you get yourself into something like this.”

“I have gems on order, you can’t just get ones of the size I need for anything but an arm and a leg most of the time. The ones I already have are going to be used for another set, but I can rush order some more.

I only put it off because we have been at the academy and you and Zella don’t go on missions very often.”

“Thank you. And you might be right, but I’m still not happy with it.”

They went for one more hug, disagreement was fine, but they wouldn’t let it mess with their time together.