The first thing Liliana was aware of as the darkness receded from her mind was a throbbing pain. Her head felt as if it was stuffed with electrified steel wool, scraping across sensitive flesh and sending jolts through her mind with every thought. Her body ached as well, though it was less pressing than her head in terms of pain.

“Why does my head feel like someone’s used it for brewing a Sense Twister potion in it?” Liliana groaned, raising a hand to her face to rub at her eyes.

A Sense Twister potion required rather vigorous stirring, exactly twenty-seven stirs clockwise, done in ten seconds, and another thirty-three counter clockwise, done in twelve seconds. Suffice to say, her head did not feel pleasant at the moment. Sunlight was coming from somewhere and it was stabbing into her closed eyes like an icepick with a grudge.

“Because you’re an idiot,” a voice flowed through her mind, cool as spring water. Serenity.

“I take offense at that,” Liliana mumbled, frowning at how dry her mouth was.

She felt like she was hungover. Without the fun part of getting raging drunk in the first place. Her first, and second, hangovers had actually made sure she avoided most alcohol as her [Pain Resistance] did little to ease them to any degree. Her [Poison Resistance] also meant she had to drink far more than it would seem possible, given her size, just to feel anything. Which was all to say. She didn’t drink, so the headache that made it feel like she had just drunk through an entire bar’s stock felt out of place.

“It’s an accurate observation. I had to piece your organs back together, Liliana. You were suffering multiple organ failure, and half your intestines were gone. You were missing a kidney, your stomach was shredded, your liver was in pieces, you had a third of your pancreas.” Serenity’s voice felt less like a calm flow and more like deadly rapids as she listed out each injury. “Your spine was severed, and parts of it had to be rebuilt. Three broken ribs, four fractured. You lost more blood than you had left. Not to mention the brain damage I had to reverse, thanks to you failing to mention the mental damage you were taking!” Serenity’s voice was rose into that of a crashing waterfall, ending in a near shout.

Liliana winced at the assault on her sensitive mind, which at least she had an explanation for now. Brain damage, lovely. Perfect. Absolutely amazing, that. She was trying to ignore the list of injuries she’d taken beyond that. She couldn’t comprehend taking that much damage and still being alive. Her hands still moved without her express permission to grab at her stomach, relieved to find skin there, rather than her organs tumbling out of her as they apparently had been. She wriggled her toes, just to be sure she still could, and relief slammed into her when they moved.

“It’s not like I did it on purpose,” Liliana murmured, defensive.

“Could have fooled me with the way you so readily jumped in front of that sword,” Serenity practically snarled back, shifting her weight.

Liliana realized that the Axolong was in fact on top of her chest, likely needing the close contact to heal the myriad of injuries Liliana had accumulated in her fight. The reminder of the Fiend, of the fight, jolted Liliana fully awake, her eyes shooting open and just as quickly she closed them again. That hurt.

“The Fiend, is it dead?” Liliana demanded, struggling to sit up, eyes screwed shut so she couldn’t suffer the feeling of the sunlight burning her eyeballs.

“If you try to move, I will knock you right back out. I swear to the elements, Liliana.” Serenity’s voice held a lethal threat in it that was enough to give Liliana pause.

Slowly she leaned back on the surface she was lying on, a bed she presumed. It was softer than the bedrolls she used when camping, and certainly not the ground. Which meant someone had survived to get her into a building. That was good. Her bonds wouldn’t have done that, which meant one of the boys had survived. She didn’t yet allow herself the hope that all of them had survived. It would hurt far more if that hope was extinguished.

Serenity settled more comfortably on her chest and gave her a warning look. “Good, you still need time to heal. Sustaining so much fatal damage has resulted in your body being weaker, debuffs are applied when someone is idiotic enough to lose half their essential organs in seconds. You won’t be leaving this bed for at least another day.” The Axolong’s voice was an order, filled with warning.

The mandatory bed rest itched Liliana. She hated nothing so much as being confined. But she truly did not want to find out what her newest, and strongest, bond would do to keep her in place.

“The Fiend?” Liliana asked, hesitant, voice small in the face of a rather terrifying healer.

Truth be told, though, all healers were more than slightly terrifying. Liliana thought it was a result of having to constantly heal reckless fighters, of which she would reluctantly admit she was included in the count of. It was a personality trait she was disinclined to change, even if it meant she had gotten more lectures from healers than any sane person would ever want to suffer through.

“Of all the things to be concerned with when I just told you that you should’ve been dead.” Serenity’s voice was exasperated and mildly disgusted. Liliana could feel herself flushing in shame. She felt like a child being chastised by a parent. Which was ridiculous. She was an adult, and Serenity was hardly that much older than her.

“The Fiend is dead. Right after you foolishly jumped in front of its sword, it was killed by those who had the sense to not be impaled by a sword almost as thick around as they were.” Serenity finally informed her and Liliana sighed, muscles relaxing in relief.

“I couldn’t let Nem die,” Liliana defended her choice, memories coming back slowly, fractured. She was used to that, though. After near-death experiences, the moments leading up to them were always scattered, as if they were shattered glass sprinkled through her mind. For others, memories would be crystal clear, but for Liliana, they almost never were.

She remembered chasing the Fiend, a shredded wing flying through the air, trailing fiery blood. She remembered following it as it fell. Wind screaming in her ears, the scent of blood thick in her nose. Nemesis rising up. A huge sword poised to impale her from head to tail. The panic, the fear that broke through her mind, the desperation. She remembered changing positions with Nemesis. Then pain, blood, screaming, her mind shattering like a delicate vase against hard stone. Then cold, and darkness.

“Reckless.” Serenity said decisively, but her tone was softer this time. Understanding.

Of the two of them, Liliana had a better chance of surviving a point blank attack like that, even if that hadn’t been her reasoning. She hadn’t had the time to formulate such a logical thought, that she’d had over a thousand Health on Nemesis. She’d been working on instinct, on fear. Fear of losing one of her bonds, and the determination to do anything it took to keep her alive. Even if the cost was her own life.

She’d come so close to dying again. Liliana felt a shiver travel through her entire body, and she would swear she could feel Death’s skeletal hand brush against her shoulder. The light behind her eyelids seemed to dim, and the room dropped a few degrees. If she hadn’t bonded Serenity, she would have died. The only reason she was still alive was because there had been a Rank 3 healer close enough to save her from a fatal wound.

Half my intestines gone. Missing kidney. Ruined stomach, pancreas, and liver. Severed spine. Severe brain damage. Even one of those is enough to be fatal on their own. I’m lucky my lungs and heart were left alone, or even Serenity might not have been able to resuscitate me. The realizations hit Liliana hard, and she wanted to curl up and shake from the fear of it. The awareness of how close she’d come, once more, to death.

She didn’t regret her choice. She’d throw herself in front of a hundred more fatal attacks for her bonds without a thought. But she was afraid of her own mortality. She didn't fear death itself so much. She knew what came after, and the void was nothing she could summon fear for.

She feared what would happen when she died. The pain it would leave in the hearts of those she loved. The possibilities that would end. The futures that would be cut off before they could ever be realized. The destruction that would come as a result of her death. The lives that would be lost when there was no one left to fulfill Vita’s task.

“You survived. It would take more damage than that before I’d be unable to heal you. Have more faith in my abilities,” Serenity broke through the maudlin spiral Liliana’s thoughts were taking.

It took a little effort, but Liliana accepted the fear, understood there was nothing she could do to change what had already come to pass, and then boxed it up and put it aside. It wasn’t the first time she’d nearly died, wasn’t the first severe wound she’d taken. Wasn’t the first time her reckless nature had resulted in grave consequences.

She’d learn from her mistakes, and strive to avoid them again. She’d work more with Nemesis in training, perhaps dive some dungeons together with her bonds so they could test themselves again against something stronger than them. They’d spent too long fighting things of their own levels, or lower, rarely ever pitting themselves against something so much stronger than they were. Liliana would need to change that. It was making all of them far too complacent.

“As you say,” Liliana told Serenity, feeling the fear leaving her, the room warming, the light brighter. Serenity didn’t remark on that, and Liliana knew her impression of Death lingering was only in her own mind. A personification of her fear.

“Where is everyone?” Liliana asked, slowly blinking her eyes back open, squinting against the light until her eyes adjusted somewhat.

Normally when she was hurt, she couldn’t breathe without at least three different people or beasts crowding her. It had been a while since she last got this injured, over a year. She’d lost a leg, cut cleanly off right above her knee, and passed out from blood loss. Marianne had thankfully been with them at the time and had kept Liliana stable until another healer could be found and together they’d regrown the limb.

When Liliana woke up, she’d thought Emyr and Alistair were going to tie her to the bed. They were so worried. Polaris had nearly smothered her, lying on her chest. Nemesis had refused to leave her neck for a week. And Lelantos had switched between agitated pacing and threatening anything that moved around Liliana. Marianne had smacked her hard enough to nearly give her a concussion when she’d finally woken up.

So suffice to say, it was odd that she wasn’t currently being smothered under the weight of worried friends and bonds.

“They were being distracting and irritating, so I sent them away,” Serenity informed her, sounding both smug and bothered.

“Where is here, exactly?” Liliana asked, looking around. She winced when she discovered moving her head too quickly resulted in a sharp spike of pain.

At least mental communication with her bonds no longer caused her pain. That debuff was over, thank the gods. She could see the symbols for other debuffs in her peripherals, as Serenity had warned. The System balanced the fantastical healing abilities in this world with severe punishments to those who deigned to get injured enough to need them.

Weakness, regeneration restrictions, slowed recovery. And apparently migraines, too. Liliana was familiar with most. She was fast, but not always fast enough to avoid injury, as recent events had made clear.

If I was slower, Nemesis would be dead. If I was faster, I wouldn’t have been injured. Liliana thought with another wince as she shifted. According to Serenity, she had all her organs back, but they apparently didn’t enjoy being so recently destroyed. It felt like someone had wrapped a spoon in barbed wire and swirled it around her guts. Her [Pain Resistance] at least dulled the pain, so it was more like the barbedwire spoon had been wrapped in cotton, at least.

A memory resurfaced. A sword aimed at her head. A fraction of a heartbeat to avoid it. Her wings pumping, trying to fly away. A sword shoving through her abdomen, rather than her chest or head. Her swords were too far away to block, her naginata too thin to play a shield. Not enough time to deflect, not enough time to run. An instinctive urge to flee, the only thing that saved her life.

Should’ve used [Blink]. Liliana thought, annoyed by her own incompetence. She knew, rationally, that in the situation it was lucky she’d even thought to avoid the attack. She’d had hardly any time to do anything, and she’d been overcome with fear. Still, it was a mistake she’d need to rectify in the future. She’d need to train [Battle Clarity] more, so it wouldn’t break like that in a fight. The pain had shaken it, and her concentration.

“You’re in an inn, in the town you were protecting. Your friends arranged for a room. There were raised voices.” Serenity answered the question Liliana almost forgot she’d asked.

“They’re probably right outside the door, then,” Liliana mused with a fond smile.

She wanted to call them in, but first there was something she wanted to address before she was attacked by well-meaning brothers, friends, and bonds. Liliana removed the restriction for notifications, and she waited patiently while her vision flooded with a multitude of boxes. Warnings, alerts, and most importantly skill ups and experience.

You’ve gained 1,060,200 experience from the defeat of Zorroth, Son Of Strength.

[Aspect Of The Beast] has reached level 188!

[Radiant Revelry] has reached level 162!

[Aura Of The Predator] has reached level 39!

[Regeneration] has reached level 242!

[Radiant Rhythm] has reached level 232! [Dance Of The Zephyr] has reached level 230!

[War Maiden’s Waltz] has reached level 226!

[Battle Clarity] has reached level 227!

[Position Swap] has reached level 157!

[Dance Of Th-

Liliana cut off the notifications, waving away the growing list of skills and spells that had leveled. Anything she’d used had gained levels. Multiple levels. Which was miraculous on its own. Getting a skill or spell to level up was something she’d accomplish after a week or more now of training. Fighting something over seventy levels stronger than her seemed to power level her skills and spells. The gains were amazing, but Liliana didn’t fancy making a habit of fighting things so much stronger than her just to level her skills and spells up. The experience gain wasn’t even that incredible, considering it was split eight ways. She’d gotten far better experience hauls going through a dungeon.

[Radiant Revelry] had gained a rather startling amount of levels, twelve to be exact. Which was odd, as the skill had failed in the end. Perhaps using it on something so much stronger than her, and holding it for some amount of time, had resulted in the experience? It was known fighting stronger opponents was the best way to get experience of all kinds. However, Liliana had never been told a skill failure could result in gains, too.

Speaking of, why did the skill fail? The warning mentioned it was a result of it being a higher Rank, but I’ve never seen that before. Liliana pondered with a frown. It was a conundrum she didn’t relish. If one of her strongest skills was out of play when she faced stronger opponents than her, then that was a deadly issue. The only way to figure it out unless the System wanted to actually be forthcoming with information would be experimentation, which, seeing at that would necessitate her fighting things stronger than her, wasn’t something she was eager to try.

The only other explanation she could come up with, without more information to go off of, was that it was possible that the switch from Mana to Energy provided some protection. Perhaps it made Endurance entirely take the place of the Intelligence stat in cases such as skills that depended on intelligence? She’d need to ask Alistair, the only person near enough with experience in the conversion, to see if he knew.

Or wait until they got back and ask Professor Reviee, their Fundamentals teacher. It likely fell under that subject, though Liliana couldn’t remember if it had ever been discussed. Probably, and Liliana had simply forgotten it, as it didn’t pertain to her. [Recall] only worked if Liliana actually wanted to remember the memories.

She shook off the thought when a new notification appeared.

You have discovered the general skill [Mental Pain Resistance]. Would you like to accept?

Liliana didn’t hesitate before accepting the skill, not even needing to read the description. It was rather obvious what it did, and after her recent experiences, Liliana wasn’t eager to go through mental pain again. The skill was too low leveled now to do much of anything, but Liliana thought she felt a slight easing of the pain in her head. It could be wishful thinking, though.

Liliana shooed away the rest of the notifications. She’d look over all her skills and spells later to see how they’d leveled. She herself hadn’t leveled, which was disappointing considering she’d fought two Rank 3 creatures in under a month. But such was the struggle of the higher levels. She had less than a million experience before she leveled again, and she could get that in a dungeon. Without fighting something that should’ve required a team of Rank 3s.

“Can we let them in?” Liliana asked as her vision cleared, looking at her smallest bond. Serenity raised her head, bright pink eyes meeting Liliana’s and gazing at her. Liliana resisted the urge to fidget, it felt like Serenity was looking through her, deconstruction her and weighing the pieces.

“Fine, but if they annoy me, they leave. And if you tire, they will leave so you can rest,” Serenity consented, reluctantly. Liliana smiled at her bond before carefully reaching out with her mind. She still remembered how the debuff had made that cause her so much pain before. She was glad to notice she had no pain from that specifically, either, even if she was still suffering under a headache.

Well, no point in putting off the inevitable multi-pronged lecture she was sure to endure in moments.

“I’m awake, you can come in,” Liliana communicated as soon as she found a familiar mind, Alistair. She’d scarcely finished the words when the door burst open, bouncing off the wall from the force.

Three boys and two furry bodies tumbled through the portal, falling over one another as they all tried to get in at once. Liliana couldn’t help laughing when Corbin tripped over Polaris, landing on the ground in a heap of limbs and feathers. Emyr didn’t hesitate to step on, not over, the downed beastman to get in. It was a miracle Alistair and Lelantos even fit, but Liliana watched the door frame expand, widening to fit the two forms, though she’d swear she heard the wood whining in protest.

Liliana was reminded again that magic was fucking cool sometimes.

“Lili!” a chorus met her ears as the boys scrambled to her bedside, feet and paws pounding on the wood.

“Seems I live another day,” Liliana smirked at the bodies around her.

Polaris was, as expected, trying to climb onto the bed. Lelantos had learned better, his weight would break the bed. As it was, he barely fit into the room, pushed against the walls and taking up most of the space. She hoped the floor could handle his weight. It would be a rather rude awakening to whoever was below them if it collapsed. She also suspected Serenity wouldn’t be amused at having to heal them all in the aftermath.

Liliana noticed Nemesis was wrapped around Emyr’s throat, but the serpent flung herself off the boy as soon as she was close enough. She hissed at Serenity; the Axolong turning her head away. Nemesis seemed to be considering attacking the Axolong before she turned away and wrapped around Liliana’s neck, her tongue tickling Liliana’s face.

“You were asleep for over a day. We didn’t know if you’d wake up. I was left alone, surrounded by humans,” Nemesis hissed in her mind, her voice coated in worry and fear, and… guilt.

Oh. Liliana hadn’t considered that her bond would feel guilty for her injuries, taken in Nemesis’ place.

“You’d have done the same for me,” Liliana told her serpentine bond, ignoring most of what Nemesis had said in favor of addressing what her bond was feeling. She stroked a comforting hand against warm scales. Nemesis didn’t respond, just curled tighter and buried her head in Liliana’s hair.

“What were you thinking?!” Alistair’s voice was pitched high, bordering on hysterical, and Liliana sat back.

Time to face the music, she supposed.