《A fine octet of legs》Chapter 79 - Payment

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The collection of sections and clauses in the Grand Contract that protect your soul from being tampered with are colloquially known by those in the business as the Soul Sanctity clauses. Over the years, they have been made pretty idiot-proof. Unfortunately, the problem with idiot-proofing something is that idiots are so bloody ingenious.

So I’m going to give you the following piece of advice: do not waive these clauses. Do not try to take the protection of your soul into your own hands. Whatever the reason you think you have is probably terrible, whatever excuses a client provided for having it done are likely stupid, and whatever benefits a devil insinuated you might get from it are almost certainly lies.

The risk to your client from an improperly substituted set of Soul Sanctity restrictions is unimaginable, and at best will get them killed. At worst? Well, there are worse fates than death, something they will become intimately familiar with in short order.

And if you’re your own client… well, then you should probably just go ahead. At least the world will have one less idiot in it that way.

Now, with that out of the way, if you’re going to go ahead and do it anyway, for gods’ sake at least pay attention and follow the guidelines set out in the following few chapters. It is an aggregation of everything that I’ve learned on the matter, through both successes and failures, as well as the results of extensive studies of the Grand Contract itself, both by myself as well as the collected knowledge of the entire Institute of Diabolism for the entire duration of it’s existence.

If there exists a more complete guide to doing this right, I have not found it.

That all being said, while I’ve done my best to give you all of the knowledge I have on this matter, in practice things can and will go wrong. Reality will not match the theory. Something will be different and you will have to improvise and adapt.

But if you apply the guidelines I lay out herein correctly, and you manage to not screw up too badly thanks to your own staggering incompetence, your client might just live to see the next sunrise.

- Poppelheim, A. Chapter 5 of The Advanced Soul Deal Handbook: Selling your Soul for Fun and Profit

“So after all that, you’re telling me none of you can pay me?” Ixxy angrily exclaimed.

The thing that she’d seen when she’d tried to reach out to Samual’s soul had rattled her. She’d had to sit down for a few moments, hyperventilate for a bit, swallow her tears of abject terror and get her mind back in the game, all without lettings the mortals know just how fucking terrified she’d just been.

That… thing had not been peeking over her meat suit’s physical shoulder. Obviously not. An entire room full of people would have seen it and questioned where the scary and ominous, shadowy entity had suddenly sprung from.

Rather, it had shown up next to her metaphysical self. Her real self. That part that couldn’t enter the material world because it didn’t work there. The one that was supposed to be safely tucked away in the subspace of a pocket dimension, unreachable by anything in this world.

The closest mortal experience she could imagine, was like… like finding a bear cub in the woods. Lost, alone and harmless, and so very cute. Then, just as you lean down to pick up the adorable little thing, you hear the low growl of momma bear right next to your ear.

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If her body had had a fully functioning digestive tract, she was pretty sure she would have soiled her shorts right there.

She had no idea what was protecting Samual, but it definitely had something to do with the gods and she had no intention of going anywhere near that if she could help it. The gods were all a bunch of possessive fucks; attempting to sneak a bit of soul out from under one of their noses was a surefire way to get dead very quickly.

The permanent kind of death.

“I’m really sorry. We hadn’t really thought about payment…” Rita began, looking abashed.

“You still haven’t explained why I cannot pay on behalf of Rita,” Samual cut in, looking suspicious. As he usually did.

“Because the moment I looked too closely, some kind of divine fucker reached down and flicked my nose,” Ixxy snarled. “No thank you, I choose life.”

“A god?” Samual asked, a look of confusion on his face.

“I don’t know and I don’t care,” Ixxy replied, firmly ending the discussion.

“Ixxy,” Timothy tried to placate her, “are you sure that Rita cannot pay it herself? Surely you won’t be cutting out that much?”

“I have no idea how much I’m going to be cutting out!” Ixxy argued, stomping her foot in frustration. “That ‘soul-space’ of hers is non-euclidean! It could be over two-thirds for all I know, in which case, you will be, sadly, shit out of luck, because I won’t be able to cut a single puff more! I’m just not going to be the one stuck holding the bag at the end. You cannot waive the 66%-restriction, no matter what!”

“I assumed you would be taking the part that you cut out as your payment,” Timothy pointed out. “You’d effectively be getting paid for nothing, as long as you are precise with what part of the soul you extracted when you collect.”

Ixxy laughed. “Really? The part that I know nothing about except that it has something wrong with it? That’s what you want to pay me with?” Timothy looked away sheepishly.

She wasn’t lying. She fully intended to grab every scrap of soul she cut out of Rita anyway, but she had no guarantee it would be of a form that was acceptable to Infertec. If it really was causing some kind of issue, odds were there was something wrong with it.

But she also wasn’t being entirely honest. If everything went smoothly, none of this would matter. Payment was going to be exceedingly unlikely in the event that her plans worked out, but Ixxy was not going to assume that that was going to be the case. Plans failed. Things went wrong. By negotiating a good deal now, she wouldn’t be stuck up a creek without a paddle in the event that something didn’t work out.

She could always just back off if it looked like they were unable to meet her demands.

In that regard, her arrangement with Timothy was the perfect cover. She could highball her fee to start with, then slowly lower it until it was at a level that they would accept, all without arousing the suspicion of the one person who was supposed to be asking why a demon was so eager to take a job that they were willing to do it on the cheap, because he thought he already knew.

She couldn’t have planned it better, even if she’d actually planned it instead of having it pretty much drop into her lap like a gift from the Abyss.

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“What about money? Can we pay you in money?” Rita asked. “I still have some left from what Gora had paid me for my share of the expedition…”

“Money?” Ixxy said, chewing her bottom lip as if deep in thought. “Weeeell, I don’t like having to carry money around, but I guess I could go buy myself the soul from the bank. That’s going to be pretty pricey, though. You have enough?”

Gora grimaced. “Sorry Rita. Souls are really expensive. I rather doubt it’s going to be in your price range.”

“Really?” Rita asked. “You can buy souls here?”

Gora nodded. “Yeah. But the only thing more expensive than souls in Grailmane is high-class tronics.”

“Oh,” Rita replied, dejected, before suddenly perking up. “Wait, I have an idea. Wait right here,” she said before she leapt to her feet, sending her blanket flying, and scuttling back up the stairway to Gora’s bedroom, ignoring the groan of distress from Timothy as he quickly clapped his hands over his eyes.

“Where’s she going?” Ixxy asked as Samual also got to his feet to keep an eye on her.

“I have no idea,” Gora replied, staring at the stairway in confusion. “She left her stuff up there. Maybe she thinks she has something you’d want?”

“Like what?”

Gora shrugged. “Beats me. She’s…” she began her voice trailed off as she changed her mind. “… weird. She’s weird,” she finished, glaring at Ixxy suspiciously.

More and more interesting.

“Found it!” Rita called out from above and it wasn’t long before her head reappeared at the top of the stairs. “I knew I’d packed it in my bag! Oop, sorry, Timothy!”

“It’s okay, I can handle this! As long as I don’t see anything… or hear it… or smell it…” Timothy said in a pained voice as Rita scuttled past, his hands still firmly clamped over his eyes.

Ixxy waited patiently as Rita took her seat again, carefully wrapping her legs in her blanket before placing a small green square in the middle of the table.

“There,” she said. “How about that? Would you accept that as payment? It’s supposed to be in really good condition.”

“What is it?” Ixxy asked, leaning forward, but Gora smacked her big, meaty, red hand over the thing before she could get a clear look.

“Rita, what are you doing?” Gora rumbled. “Is that your tronic? You can’t trade that away! You need it!”

“If I need it, then how am I talking to you right now?” Rita replied, smiling up at her. Then she reached up to her shoulder, flipping over another wrap of webbing wrapped around her upper arm and revealing a similar green square. “I have a backup.”

“Wait, you have two of them?” Gora exclaimed. “How?”

“It’s a long story,” Rita replied, her eyes flicking briefly to Ixxy. “And it doesn’t matter. I have two and they both work, I tested them. Would that be enough to cover the cost of a soul?”

Gora scratched her chin. “I don’t know, maybe?”

Ixxy held out her hand. “May I see that?”

Begrudgingly, Gora placed the small, green square in her hand and Ixxy held it up to her face, squinting.

It wasn’t exactly square. It was sort of elongated, with a bunch of odd, gray squares attached to the top of the thing, along with strange, tiny metal plaques as well as other bits and bobs she simply had no frame of reference to describe. Her info-dump fizzed and popped in her head, as if there was some relevant info on the tip of its tongue that it just couldn’t quite recall. It was an altogether rather odd sensation.

“I don’t know what this is,” Ixxy finally stated, dropping the thing back down in the middle of the table. “You say this might be valuable enough to be worth trading for a soul?”

“Honestly, I have no idea,” Rita admitted. “All I know is that people told me it was valuable. And if it’s not enough, I can chip in with what little I’ll have left after you cut out the thing from my soul.”

Timothy, still looking a little pale, carefully inspected the little green thing.

“It very well might be enough on its own,” he supplied. “This tronic appears to be in amazing condition. There’s no sign of damage at all. Rita, where did you get this? And do you know what it does?”

“Long story,” Rita answered evasively. “But it translates. Languages. It’s the reason I can understand what any of you are saying and why you can understand me. It works both ways.”

“Fascinating. Does it also affect reading? There are some tomes…”

Ixxy loudly cleared her throat. She carefully filed away the knowledge that Rita needed some kind of device in order to talk to them.

Accepting a deal for anything other than souls was extremely unusual. Physical objects didn’t travel with a demon back to the void if they died, unlike souls, and if she were to die on the way home — perhaps to some ruffian in a side-alley with a knife and a lucky streak — she could very well lose it. Plus she’d have to go through the effort of hocking the damned thing afterwards… no, if she had the option, she would have preferred being paid in souls.

Unfortunately, it looked like this might be the best she was going to get.

“I’m going to need to know what this thing is worth before I can even consider it,” she said, tapping a finger on the table.

“That sounds reasonable,” Timothy replied. “I think I saw a dwarven tronic shop on the way here. They will probably be able to do a valuation for you.”

“Yeah, there’s one in Trade Road, around back,” Gora rumbled, “but there’s no way I’m letting you just stroll out of here with Rita’s tronic without finishing the contract first.”

Ixxy’s eyes narrowed. “Well, I’m not lifting a finger until I know I’ll be paid fairly. So what do you propose we do?”

Gora rolled her shoulders and slowly rose to her feet, the small green tronic disappearing into her meaty hand. “I propose you and I take a little walk together.”

“Together? For what?” Ixxy asked suspiciously.

“To go get this thing valued of course.”

“It’s worth how much??”

The bushy-bearded dwarf behind the counter calmly put down the eyepiece that he’d used to inspect the tronic and scribbled something on a piece of paper, before shoving it in Ixxy’s face.

“There,” he said, “now you got it in writing. That ain’t an offer to purchase, though, I don’t deal in Pristines. But that’s market value.”

Ixxy leaned down even further to read it. She already had to stand hunched over to fit inside the low-ceilinged shop, but she was the lucky one. Gora had to bend double to fit.

She goggled at the number on the page in front of her. She’d hoped that the little green square was actually worth something so she could get the negotiations over with, but this was way more than she’d been expecting.

“So this is what you’d sell it for?” Ixxy asked.

“No, this is what I’d buy it for, if I were in the market. But this ain’t so much the kind of stuff I deal with, most of the time,” the dwarf replied, noticing Ixxy’s gaze travelling around the shop, taking in the shelves and shelves covered in more little green squares. “Most of that stuff you see here’s Scrap quality. Too damaged or corroded to do much. But I got a couple of Damaged out back and I’ll even buy a Flawed if I think the effect’s interesting enough to be worth it. I ain’t stupid enough to try and flip a Pristine, though. Ain’t worth the headache trying to find a buyer in this neck of the woods and way too likely I get shanked for it if I tried.”

Ixxy blinked at the number again and did some quick mental math. It was more than the price of a soul. It was almost the price of two souls! If she managed to sell that little green thingy, she’d be able to pay off her debt to Mulder & Heath and her fine, all in one fell swoop!

Gora put down a couple of coins and rapped her knuckles on the counter. “Thanks Murty. Owe you one for the quick service.”

He scooped them up in one smooth movement. “Eh, don’t mention it. It’s been a slow day. You be careful out there, carrying something that valuable, eh, Gora?”

“You know me, Murty. Scariest thing out there.”

“Not by a long shot, Gora,” the dwarf grumbled.

“Where would one sell this, then?” Ixxy asked him as Gora turned to leave the cramped little shop.

He shrugged. “The Magelords are interested, sometimes, but good luck getting in touch. They usually have their own suppliers. Academy District is probably your best bet.”

Ixxy pursed her lips. That was less than ideal, though not necessarily a problem. Demons weren’t exactly welcomed with open arms in the Academy District, but she would just have to manage. Surely she’d be able to bluff her way through there?

“Satisfied?” Gora asked as she stepped outside, stretching until her back popped.

Ixxy chewed on the inside of her cheek and pretended to think about the question for a moment.

Inside, she was absolutely giddy. This was better than she could ever have hoped. She’d assumed that if everything worked out she wouldn’t be collecting any payment, but now it looked like she was going to be both having her cake and eating it!

“Yes,” she finally said as they walked back to Gora’s apartment, as if she’d taken her time mulling it over. “I’ll accept the contract in exchange for the tronic-thingy. But I’m basically doing this as a favour because of Timothy, understand?”

“And because it’s worth way more than you would have gotten otherwise,” Gora snorted.

“That too,” Ixxy admitted with a careless shrug.

The trip back to Gora’s apartment was relatively uneventful. They did see someone getting mugged on the other side of the street, despite the veritable crowd of pedestrians around, but that was fairly normal in Grailmane.

Equally normal was the would-be mugger ending up dead on the sidewalk. And the would-be victim rifling through his pockets before walking on.

Just little city-life things.

They walked in silence until they turned into the road Gora’s apartment sat on. With the crowds of pedestrians thinning, Ixxy finally spoke up.

“Hey, I just want to say thank you for doing this.”

“Hmm? What are you talking about?” Gora rumbled.

“This. Making this whole thing possible.”

“I have no idea what you mean.”

“Don’t play dumb. That was your money you paid with there, to have the tronic valued. You didn’t have to do that. Rita said she had money, I’m sure she could have afforded that at least.”

Gora grunted. “That was hardly expensive.”

“And you let us use your house. And you introduced Rita and Timothy. As far as I’ve been able to figure out, you’re the one person tying all of this together. I wouldn’t be surprised if this was all your idea.”

“Yeah, don’t remind me,” Gora muttered miserably.

Ixxy chuckled and shook her head. “What do you have against me, anyway?”

“What do I have against you?” Gora snapped. “I believe calling me a ‘halfie’ was one of the first words out of your mouth!”

“So?” Ixxy asked. “That’s just a description. It’s only an insult if you have a problem with being half-demon. Or half-human, I suppose.”

“And all of the insults after?”

“Fair. But in my defence, you threatened me.”

Ixxy could hear Gora grinding her teeth in frustration.

“Cut the crap. Your entire fucking attitude was clear as day from the moment I arrived. The fact that I was there nearly scuppered the entire contract before you even heard what it was. Don’t even try to tell me that was somehow something I did.”

“True, true,” Ixxy conceded. “But you did make it clear you specifically had a problem with the fact that I was a Pleasure Devil. All I’m trying to figure out is why us, specifically Seems like there has to be some history there, which is strange, because I find it doubtful that you’ve had much contact with us. You’re hardly our normal target market.”

“Oh I have ‘had contact’. Far, far too much.”

“You’ve taken a contract?” Ixxy chuckled. “Somehow, I doubt that.”

Perhaps there was a demon out there sick enough to take a contract with a cambion, but Ixxy kinda doubted it. Infertec worked really hard to weed out the deviants these days.

“No, not exactly,” Gora replied, grimacing. “My mother has one.”

“’Has?’ As in right now?”

She nodded. “She has him on retainer. Works as a butler and general housekeeping staff, as well as… you know. What your kind are known for.”

“She bangs him?”

Gora nearly choked. “For fuck sakes! This is my mother!”

“And the fact that she is a mother proves that she has, in fact, had sex before! Stop being such a prude. Just call it what it is.”

“Fine,” Gora grumbled. “Yes. They fuck. Like fucking rabbits.”

“They didn’t, like, include you in anything, did they…?” Ixxy asked carefully.

Gora turned to look at her as if she’d grown a second head.

“Are you seriously asking whether my mother forced me to be involved in her sexual escapades? You’re disgusting.”

“Hey!” Ixxy protested, hands raised defensively, “I’m just checking! You never know!” Then another thought occurred to her. “Wait, he’s not your father, is he?”

Gora sighed and shook her head. “No. He’s not my father. And no, my mother did not involve me in… anything. Ugh.” She gagged a little. “No, what happened was I had to listen to them going at it because the walls in our house weren’t thick enough to block out all the noise.”

Ixxy winced. “Oof, okay, yeah, I getcha. That’s awkward.”

“And to make matters worse, he treats me like an asshole. It’s why I moved out of the house the first moment I could. I couldn’t take the snide remarks and backhanded insults anymore, when I had to listen to my mother screw this absolute fucking dickbag night after night!”

Gora’s tirade was interrupted when Ixxy reached out and touched her arm, making the larger woman stop and turn in confusion.

“Let me give you some free advice,” she said softly. “You’re a cambion. Demons aren’t going to like you. Do not expect any of them to want anything to do with you. And if you find one that does… stay away from them. For your own sake, okay?”

A pause. “Uhh… thanks? I guess?”

For a while after that, they walked in awkward silence. Gora was thinking things over while Ixxy was mentally kicking herself for getting involved. Manipulating a cambion just rubbed her the wrong way. It made her feel a little sick inside.

She hated it that Gora was involved in all this, but it wasn’t like she had a choice. Rita and Gora were friends, so the cambion was involved whether Ixxy wanted her to be or not.

“The other reason I don’t like your lot,” Gora continued after a while, “is because you exploit people’s weakness.”

“How so?” Ixxy asked. “Not that I’m disagreeing, I’m just curious in what we do it that other demons don’t.”

“Well, look at you,” Gora growled and waved her hand vaguely in Ixxy’s direction. “Perfect ass, perfect tits, perfect face, it’s like you’re purpose built to worm your way into that part of men’s brains that goes crazy at the sight of a beautiful woman and pull. To turn a sensible, decent guy into a pathetic, simpering, obsessive mess.”

Ixxy nearly laughed. That had very much not been her experience. Then her eyes widened as the realization hit her.

“You don’t like me because you’re jealous?” she exclaimed.

“I’m not jealous, I’m concerned for the mental and spiritual health of the city’s male population when there are shit like you running around out there,” Gora grumbled.

“Bullshit! You’re totally jealous!” Ixxy giggled. “You’re worried I’m going to steal your precious ‘Cuz’ away from you, aren’t you?”

“You’re fucking gross. Timothy’s my cousin. We’re not fucking Sypherneans.”

“So?” Ixxy asked, elbowing Gora in the side. “What’s a little bit of incest between family?” Then she had to duck to avoid a backhanded swat from Gora.

“Ugh, you’re a sick freak, you know that?”

“Okay, okay, fine, so not in the romantic sense,” Ixxy backtracked, holding up her hands apologetically and walking backwards in front of Gora. “But you’re still worried I’ll steal him away, aren’t you? I mean, I’d be stealing him the romantic sense, obviously, but not from you in the romantic sense… you know what I mean.”

“I do and I really wish I didn’t. So please shut up. I’m already regretting talking to you.”

“Look, I have no intention of hurting your cousin, okay?” Ixxy replied truthfully. “Or anyone else, for that matter,” she lied.

“If you do hurt my cousin in any way, I’m going to make you regret it,” Gora warned her.

“Aww,” Ixxy said, patting her on one thick, muscular arm. “It’s kind of cute that you’re trying to threaten me. But I’m being serious. I’m not going to hurt your cousin. He helped me when I was in a bind, and I owe him.”

Gora stopped in the middle of the road, glaring at Ixxy suspiciously. “What exactly did my cousin help you with?”

“Sorry, I literally can’t tell you that,” Ixxy replied apologetically.

“What do you mean you can’t tell me?”

“I mean I have contractual obligations that prevent me from telling,” she explained, spinning back around. “But it doesn’t really matter, anyway. Let’s just say I made a couple of questionable decisions and Timothy helped me out. All that you should know is that for that debt, he asked me to help Rita.”

“And?”

“No, that’s it,” Ixxy said. “I tried offering him sexual favours instead and he turned them all down. Believe me, I was as dumbstruck as you. All he wanted was for me to help Rita if I could.”

“Bullshit.”

“You know,” Ixxy said, her face sporting an uncharacteristic scowl as she fell in beside Gora again. “I don’t think you give your cousin enough credit. He’s a good person. Better than I ever deserved to get for my first contract.”

“Yeah, I know he is,” Gora said quietly, then did a double take. “Wait, your first…?”

Ixxy chuckled. “Yeah, ask him to tell you about it sometime. I think you’d find it funny. I completely screwed it up in a way that was embarrassing even for me. And let me tell you, I don’t embarrass easily.”

“Yeah, I’ve noticed you have no shame,” Gora remarked.

“Tch, you’re just jealous you couldn’t pull this off,” Ixxy replied airily, twirling as she walked.

“Dressing up like a hooker? Yes. I really could. It takes absolutely no skills whatsoever, just a complete lack of fashion sense or morals.”

“Hey!” Ixxy protested as they reached Gora’s front door. “It’s not ‘dressing up’ if I’m actually selling the goods on display, okay?”

As they stepped inside and closed the door behind them, Ixxy cast a brief glance back at the hooded figure that had been following them in the shadows, just in time to notice them duck away and sprint back up the street they’d just come down.

It seemed Gora hadn’t noticed them. Interesting.

“So then we have a deal?” the demon asked.

They were all back in Gora’s little kitchen-slash-living room, seated at the table. Or rather, Rita, Ixxy and Timothy were seated at the table, while Gora and Samual were lounging against the walls and just generally looming aimlessly.

Rita squirmed uncomfortably and tried to go through the thick sheaf of papers in front of her for the fifth time. She wasn’t stupid, and this wasn’t the first legal document she’d ever dealt with.

Well, if you were going to be pedantic about it, it was, since technically she was just a few weeks old. But she remembered dealing with legal documents back in the before-time, when she’d had the right numbers of toes and legs.

The point was, she was no trained lawyer. Most of the contract was pretty straightforward but here and there, sprinkled in between the straightforward parts where incomprehensible globs of legal jargon.

Timothy had assured her that this was necessary to ensure there was no ambiguity, but it didn’t make the damn thing any easier to understand.

“You’re sure this is okay?” she asked, waving the contract in Timothy’s direction.

“That contract is as solid as can be,” he confirmed, nodding. “I’ve copied the techniques from Poppelheim’s as exactly as I could. He’s pretty snarky, but the lecturers at the Academy swear by him. He set the standard when it comes to doing this kind of stuff.”

“So it’s safe?”

“As safe as I can make it,” Timothy nodded.

“So it’s safe and I’m not going to lose my soul?” she repeated insistently.

“It’s… yes. It’s safe,” he sighed.

Rita eyed him dubiously for a few seconds before slapping the contract down on the table and turning back to Ixxy.

“That’s all I wanted to know. Yes, we have a deal,” she said.

“Wonderful!” Ixxy squealed, grinning from ear to ear. “Then all that’s left is to sign on the dotted line and everything will be nice and official.”

Rita watched the demon sign her name, ‘Ixilus’. She’d expected gothic script or something properly thematic, but no. It was perfectly ordinary letters, if barely legible despite her tronic.

At least there was someone with worse handwriting than her.

She took the pen — another clockwork contraption like the one she’d seen in Duncan’s office — and was just about to sign her own name when she paused.

The demon was staring intently at her with a wide, predatory grin.

“What?”

“Nothing! I’m just happy to finally get this over with,” Ixxy quickly explained. “I think this has been my longest negotiation ever.”

Right. Hopefully that was all it was.

Rita signed her name, again feeling the weird sense of… something go through her the moment she did. And again, it disappeared before she could even properly register it.

“Great!” Ixxy exclaimed once Rita had put the pen down. “Now shall we go somewhere to get a bit of privacy?”

“Ah, I’m sorry?” Timothy quickly interrupted. “Privacy? No, no, no, I’m afraid I will have to stay with my client for the entire duration of this contract.”

“I’m also not leaving her with you,” Samual added from the side.

Ixxy turned slowly to look at Gora.

“And you? I guess you’re staying too?”

Gora nodded, grinning. “We had a nice chat, but that doesn’t mean I trust you further than you could throw me.”

Ixxy clapped her hands together “Wonderful! I love it when things get a little steamy!” She turned back to Rita. “In that case, take of your clothes and we can get started.”

Shocked silence greeted her.

“I… I’m sorry?” Rita asked, her face turning pink.

“Remove your shirt and underclothes, so that we may begin,” Ixxy spoke slowly, as if speaking to an imbecile. “Since you’re happy for everyone to be present.”

Timothy loudly cleared his throat, his face just as red as Rita’s. “Uh… ahem… excuse me, why exactly does my client need to disrobe? This was not part of the deal…”

“Well, how else am I going to access her heart?” Ixxy asked innocently.

“Just stick your hand under her clothes again, you pervert,” Gora growled. “You did it before.”

“This isn’t just a quick little check. This could take an hour or even longer and I’m going to need to focus. I’m not going to sit there and get a cramp just because she’s a little bit modest, come on.”

“I’m not stripping in front of everyone!” Rita exclaimed, red-faced.

“Why not? I have. It’s fun!” Ixxy grinned.

“No!”

“Ah, in that case,” Timothy spoke up. “Rita, would it be acceptable to you if I was, er… not present for this?”

“Yes, I suppose we’ll have to do it that way then,” Rita groaned. “You too, Samual. I’ll be fine on my own.”

“What about the big lug?” Ixxy asked, nodding towards Gora.

“Gora…”

Gora sighed and rubbed her face. “For fuck sakes… fine. You can use my bedroom upstairs. But if I have to burn the sheets afterwards I’m going to be very pissed.”

“No promises!” Ixxy yelled as she hopped up and dragged a skittering Rita upstairs by the hand.

“Okay, now strip,” Ixxy commanded the moment she’d closed the curtains on the big, front-facing window in Gora’s bedroom.

“You know, when you phrase it like that it really doesn’t make me feel any more comfortable about the situation,” Rita replied as she seated herself comfortably on Gora’s bed, folding her legs underneath her body.

“Would it make you feel any better if I stripped too?” Ixxy offered huskily.

“Most definitely not.”

“Then stop complaining and take off your shirt.”

Haltingly, Rita pulled her shirt over her head as instructed, only to notice Ixxy staring at her unabashedly. She wasn’t normally a particularly shy person, and didn’t used to have issues using the communal ladies locker room at the gym, for example. But the way Ixxy was staring at her made her feel rather squirmy.

“Umm… could you maybe look away or something?” she asked, folding her arms protectively across the silk band protecting her modesty.

“Why?” Ixxy asked, genuinely confused. “You’re going to have to be topless anyway.”

“Yes, I know,” Rita replied, “but is there any chance you could be a little less creepy about it?”

Ixxy just looked at Rita for a few moments, before sighing and dragging a chair over to right in front of her.

“Uh… what are you doing?” Rita asked, leaning back as Ixxy casually sat down firmly inside her personal space.

“What you asked. Now hand me your shirt,” Ixxy commanded, holding out a hand.

“Why?” Rita asked suspiciously.

“Because you don’t want me taking off mine,” Ixxy replied, “and I need something to blindfold myself with”

“Blindfold?”

“Yes. I don’t need to see, but I do need you to undress for what I need to do. So hand me your shirt and I’ll blindfold myself with it so we can get on with things.”

Rita handed over the shirt she’d just taken off and Ixxy quickly tied it over her head in a haphazard blindfold.

“There. Now I can’t see your beautiful tits of yours. Happy now?”

“Somewhat, yes,” Rita confirmed, “though I wish you wouldn’t refer to my breasts in that manner. Makes it seem like you want to grope them the moment I have my band off.”

“Maybe I do…?” Ixxy replied, a wicked grin on her face making Rita recoil.

“Ew. No. Please don’t. That’s not part of our deal.”

Ixxy shrugged. “Your loss.”

Suitably mollified, Rita began wriggling out of the silk band wrapped around her chest. It was a bit of a challenge, as it had fully dried, contracting a bit and making it fit quite snug and comfortably.

Normally, she just wore it into the ‘shower’ at the temple where the water either helped loosen it up a bit again, making it easy to take off, or outright dissolved the damn thing and she just spun a new one. This was the first time she was actually taking it off dry.

“Hey… can I ask a favour?”

“What?” Rita asked as she struggled to get the tight band over her head.

“Can I try that on?”

“Try what on?” she asked as she finally managed to get the band off. She shivered slightly from the cool air playing across her chest as she began folding it up neatly.

Ixxy pointed in Rita’s general direction. “Your breast band. The silk one. Can I try it?”

Rita blinked. “That’s… that’s my underwear. You want to try my underwear on?”

“Yes? May I?”

She looked down at the silk wrapping in her hands, then stared at Ixxy. “I haven’t even washed it,” she protested.

Ixxy shrugged. “So? A bit of filth never killed me.”

“No, that’s disgusting! I have to wear it again! You may not try on my underwear, no.”

“Fine,” she sighed, then held out her hand. “Press my hand over your heart, please.”

“Me?” Rita asked, surprised.

“Yes, you. I can’t see, remember? Unless you want me to accidentally grab a tit?”

Rita swallowed nervously as she took Ixxy’s hand in her own. It was small and dainty, with delicate fingers that appeared to be perfectly manicured, even though Rita seriously doubted there was such a thing as a manicurist in this world.

Shapeshifters were bullshit.

As she moved Ixxy’s hand closed, Rita couldn’t help but shudder at the thought of the horrible cockroach-like creature that had appeared the last time she’d forced her way into Rita’s soul.

This time she wouldn’t be forcing her way in. Rita would be inviting her. Ixxy was letting her be the one in control.

She wasn’t sure whether that was any better.

This is for you, Alice, Rita thought, before pressing Ixxy’s hand against her chest.

    people are reading<A fine octet of legs>
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