Prologue

Memories Buried Beneath the Snow

Buried beneath an inch-thick blanket of snow, the frozen air stabbed my lungs like needles with every breath I took.

Bile crept up from the back of my throat, trying to escape out of my mouth. It was easy to push back down, but it crawled back up every time my finger brushed against the icy-cold trigger.

Can I do this?

Of course I can. I’m already here. I’ve already climbed the mountain carrying this rifle, I’ve already waited in this position for hours. If I went back down now, my sore legs and numbing body would be for nothing.

All I have to do is pull the trigger. I’ve done it a thousand times already. It’s a routine that my body is familiar with. But… to aim it at a person? This is a first.

My fingers gradually grew stiff as the sun set on the horizon. The only thing that fended off the frigid frost was the black coat on my back.

My only backup while stationed on this remote cliff near from the villa were the few radio transmissions I occasionally received in my earpiece.

I watched silently as the weight of the falling snow grew heavy. Through the scope, the golden hue that shined behind the window bars gave off a familiar sensation.

Even after a year has passed, that day remains vivid in my memories. Sat behind cold iron bars… with a blinding golden fire ahead… and the hand beyond it reaching out for me. The day that my left eye turned blue. The day of the Implementation. Memories that make me feel uneasy.

As the Professor’s “masterpiece,” the board held high expectations of me, and this was a simple mission. Eliminate the threat that infiltrated the Winter Corporation’s household. It was too easy, but…

A gust of cold wind suddenly sent shivers down my spine.

“This is a bother.” I spoke out loud.

Whether I was talking about my position, or the cold, or something else, I wasn’t too sure. I just needed to keep my mind distracted.

There wasn’t really anything waiting for me when I get back. The chrome hallways, the hollow applause, the empty room. More routine check-ups with the professor, then more training after. Back there is just a little less colder than here, but I’d still rather not freeze out here.

There was a buzz on the transceiver in my ear, “Wh— is a b-b-bother, 201?” Asked a feminine voice, though it was hard to make out what she was saying with all of the radio interference.

It was the only sound besides the monotonous rumble of the weather.

“This mission. What’s taking so long? I’ve been here for hours but we still don’t even know who the spy is. Not to mention, it’s getting harder to see with all this snow blocking my view.”

I was barely able to make out what was going on through the scope of the rifle. The night vision was the only way I saw anything, if not for the distance rendering them all as faint dots.

“D—termine who— watching— figure — out, 201.” The weather must be interfering with the transmission.

“How helpful.”

The pale golden light and silhouettes from the window gave me a rough idea of what was going on. It looked like the chairman’s daughter was in the middle of a violin performance. From what I could tell, the little girl with snow-like hair was the company heiress.

The scenery gradually grew into different shades of pale white as it grew darker. The thick gloves did little to protect my hands from the prickling frost. Even moving my fingers became an irritating task.

I let out a deep exhale, and my breath became a white smoke. Looks like a blizzard is coming.

But as I idly waited the performance, the butler who stood behind the heiress moved oddly. I was ordered only to survey the situation until direct actions were necessary, but it became clear who the target was as it quickly became a hostage situation.

The violin dropped to the floor as the butler grabbed her from behind.

“The situation has changed: I’ve determined the suspect, and he has secured a hostage. I repeat, the suspect has secured a hostage.”

“Copy— — I repeat— — —” Static crackled from the other end until there was nothing left to make out.

Whose brilliant idea was it to make my first mission out in the mountains anyway?

Looking at the situation, I decided to act, with or without their command. I banked on the thought of using the radio interference as an excuse. But the storm arrived sooner than I expected and launched its first attack.

A spiraling gust shot a barrage of white pellets at me, hurling me towards the edge of the cliff. My back slammed against the cold ground by the icy blast, knocking the wind out of me, and some of the bile. The fierce winter air piled up the pressure and sapped away at my strength.

It was as if the winter tried to crush both my spirit and my body, and demanded that I stay down.

But I’ve always been too stubborn for my own good.

Thousands of invisible needles stabbed my arms and legs as I forced myself back on my feet. The stabbing winds battered at my face, and the frozen cannonballs bombarded me with the sensation of burning explosions that filled my ears, creating a disorienting senselessness.

It was already hard to stay upright, but the wetness of my iron-soles nearly caused me to slip and fall into the darkness below, like a consequence of defying nature. My body nearly froze, but I scrambled back down, determined to return, even if I had to crawl.

When I made it back, my hands stiffly curled around the rifle. But I couldn’t see anything beyond the blur. I quickly realized that it slid a few feet from its initial position due the harsh winds.

By the time I found the yellow dot in the distance, the scenery had changed. The butler held her by the arm and pointed the gun at the CEO. I couldn’t get a good aim as the white flakes flickered through the scope, and the growing weight on my back made it difficult to even move.

My heart began to race as I watched her struggle. Her arm tightly gripped by the shouting, screaming figure beside her.

Visions suddenly flooded my thoughts, a phantom-like sensation gripped my arm as I remembered being dragged out of the rubble by the bearded old bastard, surrounded by fire, dust and debris. The complete opposite of where I am right now.

A harsh heat suddenly traveled across my body. My breathing grew heavier as thoughts began to cloud my mind.

My sight became clearer. Between every pale flicker was a clear snapshot of everything through the window, down to the brown, wooden floorboards, to the expressions of the people in it.

There was no guarantee that I would hit the target.

What if I missed?

Each passing second was critical. There was no time to think about this. The hostage, the heiress… the girl… began to cry.

Her tears made me remember… the girl beyond the golden flames, holding a tearful gaze to those in front of her as she reached out her hand.

Every inhale made my lungs ache, so I took one last deep breath. It was easier than to take another sharp inhale from the unrelenting cold.

The deafening explosions of the blizzard’s attack faded into the back of my mind.

The thin frost enveloping me vanished from my thoughts, as my mind filtered out any and all distractions.

As the frost turned to vapor, it felt like I was set on fire.

My eyes focused on that single sight.

In that brief clarity, my finger pulled the trigger on its own.

Snow, wind resistance, trajectory, all of those lost meaning the moment the bullet left the muzzle. With a faint blue glow in its sparks, the bullet acted the way I needed it to, the way that I hoped that it would.

A quick shot from the rifle. In less than a second, the scent of gunpowder was immediately blown away.

Even through the shattered glass, I saw the sight of silenced faces who stood in shock as the spy’s blood splattered across the walls.

After a second’s notice, the stunned silence turned into confused panic — except for the white-haired heiress, who fell to her knees.

Someone quickly came to her side. Her legs trembled, but even as they assisted her, she went over to the dead man and began to cry over his body.

Even if he was a spy… maybe she cared about him.

In front of me was a vast expanse of cold and darkness, with only the warm glow of a home in the distance.

As I got up from my post, I still felt the trigger pressing on the tip of my finger. After the hours spent on the frozen cliff, it was over in an instant.

Even the blizzard’s first wave of assault had ended.

Marching down the mountain, I felt something had become… off. My feet refused to take another step further in that direction, and it still felt like I was on fire.

I dropped the gun to the ground as a sharp pain radiated through my veins. My arms and legs had become heavy like logs, and it felt like they were swelling underneath my coat. There was a rhythmic crackle pulsating across my body every heartbeat.

Snow fell on top of my head as I slumped my back against a tree. My knees buckled, I could barely keep myself up. When I glanced over to the rifle that rested on the white ground, I was no longer able to hold back the budding feeling — and it all spewed out of me as I hid behind the tree.

The pure white was stained, and there was a bitter taste left in my mouth that I couldn’t get rid of.

Why? Why was it so easy?

Even after I fought the storm, and even though I could barely stand up after, I finished the mission. …All it took was the pull of a trigger.

My stomach continued to churn, while my throat continued to heave. But there was nothing left for me to spit out.

When I wiped my face, I realized that my nose was leaking blood.

A breeze swept through the forest. The storm was not done with me just yet.

I could no longer stay upright, and I collapsed like a house of cards. My left side sunk into the cold white sheets, while the white pellets gradually piled on top of my right. Even still, I felt numb towards it.

I watched with my right eye as the snow buried my rifle, as if it were erasing its sins.

But a crackle of electricity suddenly cut open my sleeve and broke open my glove. The inside of my flesh was glowing, and the veins within radiated with a blue light.

A stream of voices and screams echoed in my head. Violent, booming voices.

“You took the wrong vial!”

“That was the experimental!”

Then… the memory of the golden sun inside the facility, and the blonde girl inside of it. The blonde girl, what was her name again? I can’t…remember.

As those memories continued to eat away at me, the only thing that registered outside my own memories were the footsteps that beat against the snow. But… I felt too tired to even raise my head.

Just let me be buried here.

My vision flickered. The soft splashing filled my ears, and my eyes shot open as the unfamiliar feeling of water surrounded me. My eyes began to focus, and the only sight to see were the countless stars in front of me.

This place… this dream again.

I floated on the surface of a cold body of water, and above me was a wide endlessness of stars that made me feel at ease.

Directly above me was a bright star that pulsated like a heart.

Even though I’m here… my mind still lingered on those memories. The cold and rusted cages, the golden fires, and then the burning ashes and dust of the facility. Lastly… here.

If only I could forget. If only I could get rid of these haunting memories. Yet a part of me doesn’t want to let go.

Because of her. The girl standing beyond the bright, golden flames. The girl who named me…

*

“Felix? Felix? Are you awake now?” A voice called out to me.

When I came to, the burning sensation was gone. My entire body felt heavy and my breath was cold. As if I was trying to get up while soaked in freezing water, it was difficult to get up when I felt myself being pulled back down.

But as I managed to drag myself upright, I found a lady with ashen white hair sitting in front of me, covered in snow. She had a green clover necklace dangling on her black suit, and in her hand was a pale mug.

“Yer awake.” She let out a relieved sigh, and spoke in an accent I was not familiar with. But I immediately recognized the voice. This was the woman who assisted me from the radio.

The woman then handed me the mug full of a dark… brown… thing. “‘Ere, Drink this.”

Steam rose from it. The warm wisps were clearly visible in the cold weather. My fingers shakily held onto the mug, the heat from the mug was soothing to my stiff palms. I guess this is what happens when you’re buried under the snow.

But as soon as I took a sip, I immediately stuck out my tongue. Whatever this is, it wasn’t chocolate. “… Uhm, what’s this?”

“It’s coffee. You should warm up after what happened.” Her answer sounded like she was hiding her accent.

“It’s… bitter.” Sticking out my tongue, I answered timidly. So this is coffee…

“Is that all you have to say?” Her tone suddenly changed slightly, sounding stern.

“What?” My voice quivered slightly as I shivered from the cold.

“I ordered you to return, but you acted on your own accord, pretending not to hear orders, and not returning immediately after the mission—”

My voice wavered and shook as she raised her arm, “I-I didn’t.”

“… and ye saved a life... I’m glad.”

She reached her hand out to me, and I shuddered, remembering the professor’s hand grabbing my arm.

But all she did was place her hand on my head. I closed my mouth as she ruffled my hair, and as I turned to look up to her. Her eyes had shined with a soft, fiery glow, like embers that radiated against the snowy-white everything.

“Even though ye were up against a blizzard, ye still fought hard.” She slapped my back as a soft smile formed on her face. “You’re a good, kind person, aren’t you?”

“U-um…”

“That being said, I’d prefer it if you followed orders. But good job, nonetheless.”

“Th-thank you, miss…”

“Nocturne... is my codename. Call me Luna, Luna Aster.” She introduced herself with a soft, warm voice.

“I’m—”

“Felix, I know. It’s nice to meet you properly.”

“Um…likewise.”

“You’re lucky I found you when I did, otherwise, you would have frozen to death.” She scolded.

“Right… I’m sorry.” I absent-mindedly took a sip, but it was still too bitter for my taste and I accidentally spat it out.

“Let me fix that.” She took the mug off my hands and headed back to the parked car a few feet away. After a minute, she returned and gave me back the mug.

I took another sip and asked, “Sugar?” It tasted much sweeter than before.

“Two creams and three sugars, to be exact... It’s my favorite.” She answered warmly.

“It’s… nice. Thank you...”

My fingers still shook, but the tightness in my chest softened.

“It was tough, wasn’t it? Taking a life, and the feelings that come with it…” She spoke in an understanding manner.

“Ah… mhm…”

“You have a long journey ahead, but don’t worry. I’ll teach you.” She smiled as she turned her head to the winter sky. Her ember eyes contrasted with the pale snow and dark skies that she stared into the distance.

Through her glowing eyes I realized… She was just like me.

I discovered a few things today. The guilt of having taken a life... and the sweet taste of coffee that washed it away. It wasn’t a fair exchange, but I had to accept it.

In the car, lights flashed through the window, there were bumps on the road, and the heaters let out a calm warmth that felt nice after being buried in the snow.

I lost myself into the dark and grays of the outside. As the monochromatic scenery grew dull, I noticed my hands shivering still. I looked at the lady sitting in front of me, typing on her computer with a frustrated look. But as she noticed my stare, she returned my gaze. The light of her ember eyes were warm, a very comforting warm. I couldn’t help but feel at ease, and I fell asleep as we made our way back.

There were many things I wanted to forget, and some things I didn’t. Fortunately, as the years passed, the day of the “Implementation” gradually became a hazy blur.

I still have visions of the fires, and of the professor’s face dragging me out of the rubble and injecting that prismatic fluid inside me. But… whenever I try to remember more than that, I start to feel the pain all over again.

At least, for now, I had someone to watch over me.

Someone who prepared me for the future to come.

Unlike those ephemeral lights from the window that left as soon as they came, I will always remember the taste of my first coffee, and the sweetness of her smile.

**

“Felix?” A voice called my name, and I opened my eyes and saw the unfamiliar face of a black-haired girl. I could feel the jet descending.

“We’re here. Are you ready?” She asked.

I’m grabbed my things and responded, “Yeah… I’m ready.”