“Stop, stop! I can’t laugh too hard! Asthma!”

-Last words of Emperor Mahahahaha before he suffocated and passed away from laughing too hard.

There was no lack of transportation in the Retribution Fields, in part because everything there was used in way or another as a means to transport something else. Some things are not as apparent with their usage in such a manner, but transports they still were. Sigala herself came upon Blood Falls by sliding upon the backs of long-dead whales, as can be seen by their lack of a need to breathe. But given their migration patterns, it was unlikely she could use them to get anywhere to close where she was going.

And her destination was, predictably, yet another Godhome and the settlement under it; Green Promise. The ex-angel knew better than to judge a place by its name, but she hoped at least that the humidity would be at a tolerable level, like 60% humidity or 50% humidity. As it was, she relied on her contact to provide her with something that was fast, quiet, and more important of all, affordable.

He gave her a hogdragon. The thing was the size of a small hill and ballooned to the size of a usual hill when it inevitably gorged itself on the carcasses, trash, and everything else the settlement threw its way. It had wings, plenty for sure, but compared to its size, Sigala might as well pluck feathers from chickens and use those to help her fly again for all the good said wings had in helping the hogdragon get anywhere.

“And no one’s tried to use it before because?” Sigala asked her contact the question whose answer she knew she wouldn’t like.

“It’s a scaredy cat and leaves everything behind when it gets spooked. And that’s about the only time this one has any speed on him.” Her contact made his point by slapping the hogdragon’s floppy ears, which earned him just about enough attention for an indignant grunt. “Besides that though, it can carry a ton and more, and no one pays any attention to anybody desperate enough to use a hogdragon to travel around. Are you sure you wouldn’t rather just walk?”

“No, too risky.” Her contact raised an eyebrow on hearing Sigala’s words, but said nothing. “I think I have just the thing to get the hogdragon whipped into shape in no time. Here’s your payment.” Sigala threw a small bag of coins towards the waiting man, who immediately started counting the pieces before a frown appeared on his face.

“This is half of what you promised me. I don’t know how they do business out there, wherever you’re from, but I get paid in full for my services first rather than later.” The man huffed and puffed his chest out in a sorry attempt to look more threatening.

“Full payment after I’ve gotten the transportation I paid for. This-“ Sigala waved to the entirety of the disappointment that was the hogdragon. “-is not proper transportation. You’re lucky I’m still paying you at all. You think the folks at Blood Falls are going to be as nice as me?” The man wilted from the ex-angel’s glare, shifting his weight from foot to foot.

“Alright, but I really got nothing else to offer you. And no one in town wants to touch you, on account of those blades of yours.” Sigala frowned as she took a glance at the sharp edges currently folded on her back. “So what will it be, angel face? Gonna take my hog or gonna take the walk?”

“Neither.” Sigala turned her back on her contact and began walking to the front of the hogdragon, who was currently in the middle of eating a herd of dead elephants. She brought out her beloved spear, Kartevoz, and used the blunt tip to make some noise. After a while, the beast noticed her and paused its gluttony.

“I am Sigala, your new Master. Follow my commands and you will be rewarded. Disobey, or worst, flee your responsibilities and I’ll exact divine retribution upon you. What say you, beas?” The hogdragon’s eyes widened upon hearing the ex-angel’s proclamations, then, once it seemed it would submit…

The hogdragon vomited a great deal of rotten flesh all over his new “Master”.

In retrospect, Anagas Song shouldn’t have taken such a long time meeting his father. It wasn’t so much that the scenic route was any better than the express way than it was a convenient excuse for the heirling to ponder about the problem of his sister’s body. Such wanderings, however, took its toll on even the normally ageless dragons, which included the one under his service. Their movements slowed and their spells diminished, to a degree that even the other servants could pick up on the dragon’s weakening state.

“How many years has it been for you, draggy?” Anagas asked the dragon after yet another fruitless sparring session. “I’ve never bothered to keep count myself, but I’m pretty sure none of my servants now are the same ones that started this journey with me, except for you. Do you wish to be set free and return to your home.”

“I …am honored by your generosity, Master, but my word is law. It is who I am. This life is yours, until it can no longer serve. And my home is where you need me to be.” The dragon slammed her tail at the ground and saluted the heirling, which earned her a laugh from the heirling.

“You’re a funny little dragon. I think my mother would like you, if she doesn’t try to eat you first.” Anagas opened his right hand and the dragon flew right to it, transforming into an umbrella in the process. The heirling gave it a small twirl around before handing the item over to a waiting servant and preparing himself at last for the real part of his journey.

“Father, it is I, your son. I am here as you commanded.” Anagas spoke into the air with as much manner and etiquette as he could muster on command. Even with a lifetime of training, it was still nerve-wracking waiting for him to communicate with one of his parents, and the reply this time around made him both relieved and puzzled, for the portal that appeared was unlike anything he’d ever seen before.

It was a black pool ringed with blue sapphire, placed on a mirror that hung by a chain on a small temple that itself was placed on the back of a monstrous devil toad. Arms, legs, and horns grew out of its sides like tree branches, while lava, ice, lightning, and poison poured out of open wounds. Its eyes were many and none were the same, and all stared at Anagas Song with a purpose all too familiar to the heirling.

“Is this… a test?” Anagas asked as he looked around to see if an examiner or two was on hand to overlook his performance, but upon seeing the utter terror and fear that came over his servants, he thought better and readied himself for battle. The molten meteor that struck him a second later proved the heirling’s suspicion, and he cast off all doubt to prepare an offensive of his own.

The demon frog sensed the threat and it moved with speed that didn’t match its tremendous bulk. Flesh compressed and expanded, and blades of bone struck against the indomitable scales of a dragon-god. A scream of plasma devoured the space where Anagas stood, and in turn he casted annihilation in the form of a sphere, shot so rapidly it seemed a single stream of pure destruction.

But the tenaciousness of his enemy could not be underestimated, as it sprung forth fully healed even from what seemed the surest of deaths. And every time it attacked with no hesitation or pause, chaining attacks and straining its awkward body to the limit to take advantage of every opportunity it had. Soon, an unfamiliar feeling came upon the heirling’s mind; the feeling of frustration.

“Enough!” Anagas shouted as he put his foot down on the demon toad, clicking his tongue when the slimy bastard crawled away even from that takedown. He searched for more power and his body answered, his wings growing wings and his mind making minds, until a veritable hydra was before the devil toad. With the laugh of a jolly god, the heirling hydra brought a curtain of hellfire down on his adversary, stopping only when not even a speck was left of the grotesque monster.

More laughter came as Anagas turned back into his usual form, his mind exhilarated by the turn of events so far. He looked around to see if more company was coming, but alas, all he spotted instead was the portal he was supposed to go through. He picked it up and made a show of cleaning some spots before walking through the threshold, all the excitement from before making way to a more reserved state of mind.

“Did you like my gift, Song?” Someone came into Anagas’ view, a man wearing blue robes and a simple farmer’s hat. “It took me centuries to make that, you know, and you took it down in ten minutes. Amazing stuff, but that’s the Suneater legacy for you.”

“Uncle Kei!” The heirling waddled over to his favorite uncle and gave the man a bone-crushing bear hug. “I didn’t see you there. When did you come back home? Can we play after I meet with my father?”

“Your father is actually the one that called me back. I’m guessing we’re both part of whatever he has in mind. Do you mind if I walk with you?” The man gave his hand to Anagas and the heirling took it, the two of them walking at a brisk pace to what seems to be yet another transportation chamber.

“How did you get it to grow so many arms, legs, and horns all over its body? And how is it moving with all of that random junk inside it? And don’t say it’s magic because-” Anagas asked his uncle.

“Magic.” A wry smile came on the man’s face as Anagas pouted. “I’m sorry, most of the details have been lost to me myself, and I’m really quite spent after making sure to release it to where you were and not anywhere else. I’m sorry to disappoint, kiddo.”

“No, it’s okay. I’m really happy I got to meet you, Uncle Kei.” The family reunion was cut short as two portals came into view. Anagas was hugged one last time by his uncle before he took the portal to the right, and taking that as his cue, the heirling waved goodbye and made his way to the portal on the left. Upon arrival, Anagas found himself inside somewhere cold and devoid of any kind of light. Not even the light that came off the heirling’s body was visible, as though they were being devoured the moment they came into being.

“Hello Anagas. Hello Kia.” His father’s words immediately rang inside both the heirling and his sister’s mind. “I’ve missed the two of you. Come and give your daddy a hug.” At that moment, the enormity of Anagas’ heritage came into view, as light burst forth from everywhere and time began. The first stars burned to brilliant deaths and the first black holes came into being, using their inexorable attraction to consume all that dared come near it. Eons passed, and only once the universe calmed down enough does Anagas was able to see the entirety of his father’s presence.

The heir-prince of the House of Balance saw everything, and with his hundreds of heads, few escaped his gaze. Nebulae crowned each head and pulsars were their eyes, with mouths adorned with teeth made from neutron stars. His heart was a white hole ten million light years across, pumping matter through veins made of wormholes. He sat upon a throne carved out of superclusters, and every twinkling light upon it was a galaxy. His full name carried the weight of destiny, and to utter it in vain was to invite disaster. He stands a vanguard of Order, husband to the Princess of the Suneater Dynasty, and sire to Anagas Song and Kiasan Sanjung.

All in all, it made for a very awkward hug as Anagas Song did his best to match his father’s size, being able to at his maximum embrace one of his father’s legs. The heirling quickly put some distance right after, to his father’s brief confusion, but soon business came first of pleasantries as Uncle Kei entered the room. Out of respect and agreements made behind closed doors, the Suneater Kin remained in his diminished state, standing by his nephew’s side.

“Good. You’re all here. We can start now.” Anagas’ father brought up the display of a singular orb, suspended above what seemed to be a vast ocean. The orb seemed to have recently been picked up from said ocean, as water poured off its surface continuously, with a generous amount splashing out into the air. The display zoomed in on one of these droplets, and Anagas couldn’t stop himself from gasping as he realized what droplet was.

“Yes, my son. That is the world entire, and in this mote, resides the Retribution Fields and all the other worlds you know of. But this knowledge is not why I brought you here.” The heirling scoffed at his father’s casual dismissal of his astonishment, but when he looked at his uncle’s apologetic face, he realized that not only was this information not a curiosity, it was an established fact.

“Every drop will fall eventually, this much is known. How long it takes from creation to destruction is not known, though many factors have been identified that accelerates the process significantly. And I’ve detected the beginnings of one close to our location, so to speak. The seed of an idea that threatens to destroy the balance between Order and Chaos in the Retribution Fields.”

“And you need our help because?” Anagas asked out of genuine bewilderment because, well, his father literally could do anything at all. Omnipotent. Omniscience. All the words that start with Omni, which really came as standard fare for deities after a certain level of power, though the heirling’s father and his few peers were in an order of magnitude of their own.

“It would be quite ‘overkill’, I believe is the word. No action I can take would end up in a result that would not inevitably have this problem resurface in the future. Not to mention that your mother would start moving in turn to counter my influence as part of her duties to Chaos, and I don’t believe the word ‘restraint’ exists in her vocabulary.” The knowing smirk that came on Anagas’ father’s face and the sudden scowl that appeared on the heirling’s uncle told a different story, but that’s neither nor there.

“Why is Uncle Kei here then? He’s pretty darn strong too.” The Suneater Kin’s bad mood passed like a dream and Anagas found himself being patted in the back by his uncle. “Well, not as strong as mother, but no one is stronger than her.”

“He’s going to keep the bigger players out of your hair, so you can focus on figuring out how the idea came about, how it is spreading, and finally, how to eradicate it once and for all. I’ve relayed the relevant details to your mother, and she’s on board with my idea. Publically, you’re going on a tour of the Godhomes in search of your first wife, so make sure to act accordingly to the script.” The script in question appeared before Anagas Song, who took it and was immediately taken aback by its weight.

“How long is this search going to take?” Anagas asked as he put down the doorstopper. “I know we’re not pressed for time, but I was really looking forward to-“

“You’ll either complete it upon reaching your first destination, or upon reaching your last one. There’s also the possibility of completing it somewhere in-between those two options, so feel free to look up the itinerary.” Anagas’ father spoke in that evasive way that someone would use when they themselves had no clue what the answer to the question as well.

“You’re free to go now, Anagas, Kiasan. I have more to discuss with your uncle.” Anagas looked at the formidable tome near his leg and sighed. He lifted it up and carried the script out the room, waving his father and Uncle Kei goodbye as he walked through a waiting portal. Once on the other side, the heirling immediately had servants take away his script and bring out a bed as well as some refreshments.

A nap was in order, and as his head hit the pillow, Anagas Song got his wish.