《Apocalypse Parenting》Bk. 3, Ch. 45 - Hair cut
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It was easy enough to find someone to cut my hair. Pointy had all sorts of records about all Fort Autumn residents’ current capabilities and past professions. Even if she wouldn’t respond to my requests, she was happy to answer Gavin and Cassie’s questions.
I almost dropped the kids off at the Turners’ while I got my haircut, but I changed my mind at the last moment. My dad had sported a neatly-trimmed beard and mustache for most of my early childhood, but I still vividly remembered the day he’d come home clean-shaven when I was four or five. He’d been standing next to our dining room table when I’d first seen him, spring sunlight from the nearby window lighting his face, making it easy to see his sadness warring with amusement as he explained to me that he couldn’t “put it back.” He’d gone to give me a hug and I’d run away. It had taken me weeks of staring at him suspiciously, hiding behind curtains and around corners, before I’d gotten used to his new appearance.
There was enough disruption in my kids’ lives; I should absolutely not surprise them with huge changes in my appearance.
We did have to venture a little way out of Fort Autumn, to where a stylist had set up shop in part of her Combat Group’s house on Goldenrod Lane. The visible monsters were still clear from the area around the fort, but we had to navigate around several badblankets on the road as we traveled, clear evidence that fewer people were venturing out to fight. I frowned; I’d been doing the same, but…
I shook my head. One crisis at a time, if possible.
The combat group was in when we arrived, and the stylist was set up on the tile floor of the foyer, already cutting someone else’s hair. She looked up.
“I’ll be done in a bit. You here for haircuts?”
“Just me,” I said.
“What are you wantin’ done?”
I shifted. “Um, well, I’m planning to take an ability. A Biological Augment. And I’m worried my hair will get in the way, so…”
“You got the Points already?”
“Yes, but…”
She cut me off. “Take it first, then. I’m not about to try to style around changes I can’t predict. Wet your hair down, brush it out, and take the Augment while I finish up here. I’ll get you sorted out.”
I froze. “Wet my hair down? I…”
She pointed to an empty bucket next to several stacked alien water rations. “Two Money. One for the water, one since we hauled it over for you.”
“Oh. Okay.”
The stylist turned back to her customer, and I made my way to the bucket. This was happening faster than I’d anticipated. I didn’t feel ready, but I’d been fishing for any more good excuses to delay and coming up with nothing.
“Micah, would you pour the water over my hair?” I asked.
“Yeah.” I felt cold water rush across my skull. Then, sounding betrayed, my oldest son asked “You’re getting a Biological Augment?”
I winced at his shock. “I was planning to get my hair cut first and then talk to you all about it, but…”
Gavin pushed his face in front of mine. “Are you getting a tail, like me?”
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Micah scoffed. “Don’t be dumb, Gavin. Why would she need her hair cut to get a tail?”
“To look cool?”
That made me smile, just a little. “No, not a tail. Even if it would make me look cool. I think I need extra eyes.”
“REAL eyes? In… the back of your head?” Micah sounded either awed or horrified. I couldn’t tell.
“Yeah,” I said. He’d finished pouring water over my head, and I dunked my head quickly into the bucket to get it good and sopping wet before grabbing the brush sitting nearby and yanking it through my tangles.
“I don’t like that idea,” said Micah. “You have Life Sense. You don’t need it.”
“I do. Life Sense will still let me see enemies that are sneaky, or hiding in bushes or behind walls, but better vision will let me see enemies coming from farther away or enemies firing missile attacks at you guys from behind us. If we were running from a D-Rex, I’d know who it was targeting with its fire breath.”
Cassie scooched up beside me. “Don’t cut your hair, Mommy. You can have more eyes, but I love your hair.”
“Short hair is great, Cassie!” Micah said. “Mom can have short hair, but extra eyes is just… ugh…”
“Don’t worry, Mommy,” said Gavin. “You will be beautiful no matter what.”
That kid just made my heart melt. “Thanks, honey.”
“But you would be more beautiful with a tail. Don’t you think a tail would be better than eyes?”
“I, um…”
A male voice I didn’t know interrupted us. “Y’all kids be nice to your mom. Can’t you tell she’s scared ‘bout getting more eyes, too?”
The kids and I all looked up to see a man with strange eyes and a fluffy haircut. He smiled at us, and pushed his hair aside to reveal overlarge, furry ears set asymmetrically on his head. “Don’t you worry none. Ricki’s got lots of experience making even the oddest things look good. She’s a wizard.”
“Why are your ears so crazy?” Gavin asked.
Fortunately, the man didn’t take offense. “Combat Group N’s on night duty. There’s lights up, sure, but they’re not perfect. Figured we could use a scout or two to see and hear the things lurkin’ in the shadows.”
“Oh,” said Gavin.
“I wouldn’t want to do that,” Micah said, definitively.
The man chuckled. “Bet your momma don’t want to either, little dude. But she’s trying to keep y’all safe just like I’m trying to keep my friends safe.”
Micah gave me an uncertain look as the man sauntered away, but he stayed quiet.
The stylist, Ricki, cleared her throat loudly. “Y’all taken that augment yet, sweetie? I’m almost ready for you.”
“Doing it now!” I called back. In a quieter voice, I asked “You okay, Micah?”
My oldest son met my eyes, looking sad. “Are you, Mom?”
I tried to smile. “Sure. As long as you guys are good, I’m good.”
“That’s not very fair for you.”
“That’s parenthood.”
Suddenly, Micah sat down beside me. “I’ll hold your hand, then, since you’re scared.”
“No, I will hold Mommy’s hand!” shouted Cassie.
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“Everyone will hold everyone’s hands!” said Gavin, my peacemaker.
Their silliness and support helped. I entered my Interface.
You have selected:
Biological Augment: Panoramic Vision: user gains additional ocular organs for more complete field of view. Confirm choice?
I gritted my teeth and made my selection. My kids were all around me, so I tried to suppress any physical reaction to the changes I felt. I barely even noticed the full-body itch that accompanied every ability selection. I’d thought it might feel comparable to what happened when I took Life Sense, but it didn’t, not really. Life Sense hadn’t included any external physical changes, but I could feel my skull stretch, a sensation no one on Earth should ever have to experience. It wasn’t painful, it just felt creepy and wrong.
I had my eyes shut tight when I made the choice, so I didn’t experience the immediate overwhelming flood of sensations I had with Life Sense. Even when I cautiously opened my eyes - my far too many eyes - I at least had the option of instantly squeezing them shut again to cut off the flow of information.
I could hear Ricki settling up with her previous customer, and she called me over. Shakily, I stood, Micah and Gavin supporting me and Cassie clinging to me in a way that was probably meant to be supportive but was just the opposite.
I found the chair with my hands and sat down, eyes still shut tight. I felt confident hands work their way through my hair, carefully not pressing down on my new eyes. “Ah, Panoramic Vision, right? Getting popular. I had two of those come through just yesterday.”
“Really?” I asked, surprised. “We had records on the ability so I knew someone had taken it, but I hadn’t seen anyone with extra eyes.”
“Oh, yes. People don’t want to get snuck up on. Solid choice. Now…” I felt her pull my hair around. “You have a few options here. First, I could cut almost all of your hair off. I don’t have a working electric razor, but I’m a dab hand with a straightedge. Bald would probably look good on you, but you’d want to come by for a re-shave every couple weeks so it didn’t get in your eyes.”
“NO!” shouted Cassie. “You can NOT make Mommy BALD.”
I heard a chuckle behind me. “Second idea, I could give you a variant on a pixie cut. You’ve got two eyes just below here and here -” I felt a finger tap the back left and right extremities of my skull, a little more widely spaced and lower than the eyes on the front of my head “-and a third up on top. That cut would limit vision from your top eye just a smidgeon, but it looks right cute with curly hair.”
I’d never liked pixie cuts, and I’d gone and mutated myself to get better vision. I wasn’t going to mess it up for fashion. “Okay. What else?”
“Third option’s a little more maintenance-intensive. I shave back a small area around each of your eyes, and we braid the rest tightly. You know how to do a french braid? That would be your hairstyle now. Every day. Well, you could maybe do two braids instead if we angled them to the front instead. Sort of a Dorothy Gale look, but over the top of your ears instead of behind them. Oh, or y’all could do some Leia braids.”
That sounded… not too terrible. I didn’t braid my hair frequently - but I knew how to, mostly. “Let’s do that,” I said.
Ricki chuckled again. “Alright. I’ll do your braid today. Kids, y’all come and watch close in case your momma needs help. This is gonna be a little different than a standard french braid, because we’re gonna have to start with two braids to go around your top eye, then join together behind it.”
I’m not sure if the kids learned much, ironically because Ricki was too good at braiding. It took the lady less than two minutes to corral my unruly locks into a tight braid and tie them off. Whenever I had to braid my own hair, it took me much longer than that.
Maybe I’d get better at it now that I would be doing it all the time. If not, I supposed I had the means to pay someone to be my stylist on the regular. It’s not like braiding hair was an uncommon skill.
Before I knew it I was standing to shake Ricki’s hand and transfer the funds for my haircut. That meant I had to open my eyes for the first time since taking the ability, and the flood of sensation was overwhelming… but less so than with Life Sense. With Life Sense, it was hard to describe the sensations I was receiving, hard to contextualize them at all. With extra eyesight, everything I got was visual. It was still disorienting, a swirl of light and darkness and color that I couldn’t interpret, but at least I could describe it. I tried to shut all my new eyes and leave my old ones open, but couldn’t manage it; the best I could do was to keep all my eyes shut and carefully open one old one. I frowned.
“Is there somewhere I can sit for a bit before we walk home?”
“Sure. Anywhere on the main floor. Just stay out of the upstairs - people are sleeping there.”
We settled ourselves in a mostly-empty great room. Most of the furniture had been taken out, I assume to be made into window barricades. All that remained was a single couch and an alien small light source.
The couch was occupied by a few people reading books. I didn’t bother them, just sat down on the floor with my back against the wall and opened my eyes. I’d been hoping for a blank view of plain beige drywall, but the kids quickly crowded around.
“Mommy, your new eyes are pretty. Don’t worry. Also, I like your princess braid.”
All braids were princess braids to Cassie.
“Yeah. Plus, remember? We’ll love each other even with crab claws.”
That had been Gavin’s voice.
I laughed, softly. “Sorry, kids. I’m being a big baby about this, huh? I’ll be alright. Just ask Pointy to tell you a story. I bet by the time she’s done, we’ll be ready to head home.”
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