Delta now finds herself discussing with beavers.

What a world. What a life.

Honestly, she’s given up trying to feel angry about it. She’s too tired to bother. Gone are the days when she’d be driving Eryk around in a rental car and trying out new snacks. Hell, fighting surf pirates feels nostalgic compared to this. Compared to talking to sentient beavers while in another world, one made from balloons and supposedly useful in the fight against a multiversal military force.

She can’t believe she even thought those words.

She absolutely hates that she thought those words.

The beaver coalition looks particularly grizzled. Commandos wearing gear, some of them with scars and missing limbs and other battle damage. Cybernetic enhancements and a couple robot arms. Straight out of the worst Cartoon Network parody of 80s sci-fi you’ll ever watch at 2 PM when you’re home sick from work.

Two members of this beaver group, named Lumen and Tropy apparently, converse with Eryk about the situation. It’s as dire as one would expect.

“They took everyone,” Lumen says. Lumen’s one of the ones with a cybernetic eye. “This entire world was captured and forced into low paying factory jobs on other worlds. Making equipment and weapons for the invasion.”

“Are the balloon people strong enough a labor force to be worth such an endeavor?” Eryk asks.

“That’s the worst part of it,” says Tropy. Tropy is definitely the leader, you can tell because he is slightly bigger than the others, and has fur of a lighter shade of brown. Protagonist energy. “The balloon people are terrible workers. They’re made of balloons. But they don’t need rest, so they can just work all day. The Americans promised them single-family homes and a steady income, and suckered the whole planet of people into six days a week, 9AM to 9PM.”

Delta assumes time is regulated based on Earth clocks and is totally off-base with the rotations of local worlds they work in. That’s just how the Americans will always do things.

“They even got our dear Princess Lulu,” Lumen laments. “The royal heir to the Beaver Hopper Clan. They kidnapped her in the rush and are holding her hostage until she spills our secrets.”

Eryk’s eyes light up. “Beaver... Hopper Clan.” A stupid grin stretches across his face, too. “So you’re no ordinary beavers stuck on this world. You’re the legendary beavers of legend.”

“Yes,” Lumen says. “The legendary beavers of legend, indeed. Legend has it that we are revered on Mystix.”

“No mere legend, my friend. You are indeed revered.”

Tropy winks. “That’s because we have a secret technique we’ve honed over countless generations.”

Delta folds her hands. “And let me guess, you’re not going to tell us what it is and you’ll be all coy about it?”

“Nah,” Tropy says. “We can hop across the multiverse at will. We can walk the planes with just a little bit of mental focus and the power of our Destiny Deck System.”

“Is it possible to learn this power?” Eryk asks.

“Not from a beaver,” says Lumen. “We don’t tell outsiders.”

“Even your dear Princess Lulu who’s surely being tortured at this very moment by the American aggressors?”

“She can’t tell. She only knows a piece of the technique. We spread it across each of us so that none of us know the full secret. We must cooperate and work as a team in order to hop. We are a clan for a reason. Unless most of us are present, it’s impossible.”

“Okay, cool,” Delta says.

“Do not be rude to these amazing heroes,” Eryk says. “They are legendary.”

“Yes, I’m totally getting their status as legends.”

“They’ve saved many worlds on many occasions. Including Mystix!”

“Mystix...” Both Tropy and Lumen seem crestfallen by that word. “Our long lost home.”

“You haven’t returned?” Eryk asks.

“No. When the Americans took over, we could no longer face the danger. We’ve been trying to hide wherever the U.S. is not. And for the time being, Balloon Land is safe. Because they already extracted the sole resource this place has to offer—its NPCs.”

“So this place is pointless enough that they’ll never return,” Delta says. “We wasted our time coming here.”

“Not so fast on the cynicism, my dear Delta,” Eryk says. “We lost the Balloon Land natives, but we have valuable new allies in the Beaver Hopper Clan. They shall guide us into victory!”

The beavers look just as disconcerted as Delta.

“Um, hell no,” Lumen says. “We are hiding here for a reason. We aren’t getting involved in any war. We already lost the princess. Can’t lose any more.”

“But you won’t lose any more,” Eryk says. “Because you can join the Systemless Squad. I, Eryk Solbourne, B-Rank [Adventurer,] swear that, with your guidance, we will reclaim the entire multiverse and reverse this infernal invasion.”

“We’re no army,” Tropy says.

“We need only your expertise in world hopping,” he tells them. “Destiny will do the rest. We already have an army being built as we speak. We merely need to unlock the ability to transport that army without going through The Goddess’s Domain. You could help us, without exposing your secrets in full. It would be an absolute honor to add the legendary Beaver Hopper Clan to our ranks, for your extremely powerful techniques.”

“Also, you’re really good fighters,” Delta adds to sweeten things. She has no idea if it’s true, but she feels like it’s a fair assumption based on Eryk’s fanboy nature towards these oversized rodents.

The beavers group together and confer with each other. It takes more time than Delta’s comfortable with. If they’re going to stay here like cowards, she’d rather just return back now and let them continue to hide out in the worst world of them all.

Fortunately, they come back with a very positive response. “We’ll do it,” Tropy says. “We’ll join you. We will not fight directly. It’s not our way. But we’ll help you as much as possible.”

“Yay!” Eryk hurahs.

“On one condition.”

Delta snaps into focus as multiple beavers point straight at her. “She must take the Balloon System.”

“Fuck no, what the hell are you saying.”

They ignore her. “We must preserve the Balloon System as best as we can. With most of its users exiled to other worlds, we can only assume the worst will eventually play out. If this world dies, we must have someone to keep the Balloon Land legacy going. And, unfortunately, all us beavers are Destiny Deck users.”

“As am I,” Eryk says. She turns to her. “Delta, I know you are probably adamant about not doing this. But...”

“Augh, this sucks. This is terrible. Just the worst.”

And yet, she accepts it anyway.

Delta Rafati undergoes the ridiculous ritual to accept the Balloon System. To finally gain an RPG system of her own after all these years. A bunch of balloons wrap around her, some cheery music plays from some unknown ethereal bluetooth speaker, and there’s clapping all around.

She refuses on principle to describe the RPG system in any way. Sorry, that’s just how it’s going to be. It’s too terrible to bother.

And, worst of all, she notices some of the beavers snickering as the system envelops her, and she begins to heavily suspect that this was all an elaborate prank.

Delta is forced to be just a little bit cuter, which is a ruinous sacrifice. Jesus Christ has nothing on a woman who now has balloon-based superpowers.

But at least Eryk is extremely supportive all the way, as he always is. It’s kind of nice having a friend to help her endure this bullshit.