Delta grumbles as much as humanly possible, and steps through the portal into Balloon World.

Fuck this... Fuck this.

“Ugh, fuck this,” she says.

She comes out the other side of the portal and sees a brilliant, colorful world of latex and lollipops.

Eryk, her companion for this particular adventure, looks at her in confusion. “Did you say something to me?”

“No, just muttering to myself. But for the record, fuck you for letting Balloon World be a thing that even exists.”

“I’m fond of this world, myself. I think it

He’s kind of like that. Perfectly oblivious to everything around him, but nice enough that it’ll bounce off even if offense is directed right at him.

That’s the best and worst part about Eryk Solbourne. He’s really, genuinely, a good person. Sometimes that leads to him becoming a brooding jerk. Sometimes it leads him to be an overly concerned one. Sometimes, apparently, it leads to him accidentally becoming a warlord.

He’s an idiot. But he’s the idiot her best friend loves. And honestly she’s pretty fond of him too, as a friend anyways.

It becomes pretty clear, though, that Balloon World is not under threat by the U.S. government. In fact, there’s no evidence of any sort of incursion, let alone an invasion.

“So they didn’t even bother with this place,” Delta says.

“It doesn’t appear so,” Eryk says. “That gives us the upper hand. They have not yet discovered the resourcefulness and nimble powers of the balloon people.”

“Are you sure they just didn’t scout the place out and immediately decide it wasn’t worth their time?”

“I will remain optimistic that Balloon World is as helpful to our cause as anywhere else,” Eryk says, almost succeeding at hiding his growing doubts. But even he’s not dense enough to consider this place the key to defeating Biden.

It feels like an RPG world, all right. But one designed for toddlers who can’t quite get a grasp on reading just yet. (Unlike her baby Esther, who was already reading, writing, and making public speeches.)

All the NPCs in the town are plushies brought to life. Teddy bears and squeaky elephants. A stuffed black cat crosses their path and meows with the cutest little squee Delta’s ever heard. She has to try her best to keep her cool and not break character as the mean stoic one.

But... gosh that was cute.

Absolutely useless in battle, but cute for sure.

They keep wandering through the balloon forest, looking for something, anything of interest. And that’s when they settle upon a decidedly non-cute entity.

A small imp, black in color and ugly as sin. It looks at them and shrieks.

Eryk shrieks back, and makes Delta jump.

Only, it’s not a shriek of terror. It’s a shriek of delight. The imp, too, turns happy for some reason.

Eryk grins and shouts, “Matt, my transmigrated familiar! You’re here!”

“Yes, I am,” he says. “I got reincarnated here on Balloon World, and now I’m training up to become a fearsome warrior.”

Eryk turns to Delta. “This is a former Earth human man who died some time ago. I summoned his spirit to fight alongside me in Santa Barbara, and then he poofed away as all familiars do. This is where he ended up after all this time. A whole year in Balloon World.”

“The cutest Hell I can imagine.” She shudders at the thought of actually living in this world-sized bouncy castle.

“Let us catch up soon, Matt,” Eryk says. “You may be of use to us yet. We are in search of powerful warriors who—”

At this moment, from behind balloon trees comes a giant balloon foot. It crashes down and crushes Matt completely. It is a balloon, yes, but one that is so large that a small imp doesn’t stand a chance.

The rest of the feet come out. And the body.

A four-legged balloon beast. Ravenous, angry, and about to attack Delta and Eryk.