《I Have Even Read the Rulebook!》Chapter 13: Getting Excellent, Part 3

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Against all expectations, nothing went wrong. It took the Greenskins three days (each evening, The Chopper was brought back with a strange chicken to chop up) to come to a decision, but when they were escorted to the three bosses, all of their gear and loot were present. At least Prof couldn't point out anything missing – it was a bit problematic with the gems, with him not remembering, what he had put into the bag, but the heap looked right.

A few minutes later, even Wolfgang joined them, sporting the exact same clothes he arrived in, with his axe in one hand and the book in the other. The only difference was a red skull cap, that looked like it was meant for someone with a smaller head. The officers in charge seemingly only waited for him to arrive, and pointed to some chairs with a welcoming smile.

“Good day to our heroes, who brought back national treasures, lost knowledge, and a soon-to-be-famous new Redcap of our species, while pointing out the whereabouts of other lost items." national treasures, plural, sent shivers down Prof's back. That was a good introduction to handing out pocket change in exchange for priceless items. He wasn't stupid and learned from the Elves.

“Redcap Klavierspieler was already been given official ownership of his family heirloom, and we hope, he will bring MYTHRILL to the whole of our species. We had already the pleasure to hear a few samples of this magnificent new kind of music, and indeed, we are certain, it will lead a multitude to excellence all around Greenskin lands. We thank you again for this service.”

“As for you, brave adventurers, we will return the majority of your gains, as it is fair as an expression of our gratitude." Aha, majority, here comes the fleecing, Prof thought. "The few pieces that we can not return, are two pieces of historical or cultural value." The mayor pointed at an ornate heavy necklace with peanut-sized gems on every link and a gem-encrusted circlet "Rest assured, Ostwaldland will compensate you fairly for said items."

Fairly, sure. Here, have a few copper coins. Did they though, Prof was a moron, born yesterday? However, there was not much they could do. Stealing the items, starting running, and trying to sell them to the highest bidder on the outside? They didn't even know, where the outside of Greenskin lands was! The mayor saw his painful smirk and immediately went to reassure him.

“We are not red-wearing Elves, rest assured, when we promise a fair compensation, we intend to hold ourselves to that promise. Anything less wouldn't be excellent! To be clear, the fair compensation will be three-quarters of the evaluated market price."

Prof could live with three-quarters. It was much better than the less-than-ten-percent the Elves were willing to pay for liberated goods, and here only two items were discussed, not all of them.

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“There is a third piece, we can not allow you to keep. This." This time it was the colonel who pointed at Prof's Brigand's Brigandine. That was actually to be expected, even if it wasn't impounded, Prof was planning to sell it in very short order. The effects were good for criminals, but for a law-abiding civilian, it was dangerous to own such an item, not to mention wearing it in public.

“It is a highly illegal item, just for owning it, we would have to fine or imprison you. We understand it is part of your spoils and you had no choice but to equip it. We know, the Valley is a dangerous place, after all. As it is, we can not offer you compensation for it."

That was less than ideal. Prof counted on it fetching a few gold, but at this time, they were still ahead of their worst-case scenario of losing half their loot.

“This brings us to our last point. Taxes and duties. Ostwaldland, as a civilized country, can offer favorable rates, only one part of six. After evaluating and counting everything, the sum total is two marks, sixty-six schillings, five groschen, and two hellers. If I remember the exchange rates correctly, in Eastern Bergian currency it would be around ten percent more."

What?!?! If the one-sixth part of the whole loot was only less than three gold, the retail value would be what, sixteen gold?!?! For all the effort they ended up with pocket change?!? That could not be true!

“Less than three gold? How can it be possible?” Prof blurted out.

“Yes, we double and triple-checked the list, and this is the final amount, indeed."

“But, but, but… The whole pile was just valued at sixteen gold?!”

“Of course not. It was valued at one thousand and six hundred eighty-eight marks, forty-eight schillings, twenty-two groschen, and six hellers. The stated amount is what the taxes minus the compensation for our two items come too. Is it all right, if we issue a letter of debt for your payment? We don't have enough money at hand to pay you in coins."

Prof fainted.

When he came to himself, he was lying on the floor – right next to Bianca, who had obviously also fainted – ringed by concerned Greenskins and a paler-than-usual Vampire wiping his face with a damp cloth. He tried to collect himself, but when remembering to amount they scored, fainted again. That much money translated to about seventeen million in Earth currency (USD, EUR, or CHF, take your pick)! Three-point four million per person. That was just for the leftovers in the last bag, Sharpclaw hadn't managed to toss aside!

Prof fainted for a third time.

When he regained consciousness this time, the onlookers were starting to look really concerned.

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“Prof, are you all right? Should we send for a doctor?” Mini asked

“No, I’m fine. Please give me a drink, though.”

“Here’s some water.”

“No, not water. Booze. The hardest there is. I just need to wrap my head around those numbers. Thank you!” the chief handed him a tumbler with some clear liquid. Without thinking, he threw it back in one gulp. He almost choked, it was hard and hot at the same time.

“Whatz ziss made off?” He managed to whisper a minute later.

“Hot paprika, a staple drink for Greenskins. Most other species have trouble drinking it. How was it?” was the chief trying to pull one on Prof?

“Acchually not zat bad. Wow…” With that, Prof managed to stand up. “So, we are rich now?”

“No, Prof, we are filthy rich now. Not as filthy rich as other, filthier rich folks, or the perversely filthiest rich people, not the mention the truly rich, but yeah, we are good now. No simple rich bitch can compare to us."

“Dear adventurers, I was just trying to say, we will send the recovered items to the capital under heavy escort. It would be advisable to join. Not that Ostwaldland isn't safe, but with such a rich bounty, it would be safer with a military escort. In the capital, you would be able to sell the bounty for a better price, too. Or at all."

“Thank you, dear mayor, I think, it would be indeed best to join. When do you plan on sending the escort?” Prof agreed. They were too low Level to just walk around with seventeen million bucks in their pockets. No need to give a farmer new career choices in the shadier part of society.

“First thing in the morning.”

That was good. The sooner they left, the sooner they will be able to invest in proper clothing that was not some carnival leftovers, and the sooner they could start their training montage!

As soon as they were back in their room – Wolfgang went to train the local musicians in MYTHRILL – Mini turned to Prof.

“So, Prof, how does it feel?”

“How does what feel?”

“Bringing new, better music to the sworn enemies of the Elves and on-and-off adversaries of every other species? That, and being a low-Level guy with more money than he could carry?”

“Oh… Well, I didn't exactly bring MYTHRILL to the Greenskins. I was just there when Wolfgang did it. All of you were there. Do you think, there will be problems with the music and the money?"

“Naw… Why would there be any problem? Nothing could possibly go wrong! It will be fun!”

That was less reassuring than Prof was comfortable with. "Fun" for Mini usually meant an orgy, bloodshed, or a combination of the two. If worse came to worst, Prof could simply relocate – there were at least two other continents, probably with possibilities for easy money and sights to see. It was not his problem if speciesist Elves got their teeth kicked in by a band of metalheads.

The money, though… If "fun" like Mini was after, happened to them because of their wealth, that wouldn't be excellent. It should be important to lay low for a time – there were enough cautionary tales about lottery winners on Earth who blew their winnings in short order and publicly. No way, Prof was going down the same road! They should exchange only a part of the loot – sixty gold (or marks, as the Greenskins called it) per person sounded good, they planned with that amount previously. Pay for food, lodgings, and gear, that was good, but not too flashy or conspicuous, and get as many private lessons as possible. Getting good was imperative.

Unfortunately, grinding wasn't a thing on Arkadia. Exterminating low-Level critters for easy EXP? No way. If it was possible, the ecosystem would be in ruins, most probably. However, it was possible to Level fairly fast – both Mini and Foxy were in their mid-twenties Level-wise before they lost most of the progress if Prof remembered correctly and it took them only a few decades to reach such lofty heights! Fortunately, there was someone, he could ask.

“Say, Mini, how did you and Foxy manage to reach Level 25 or so in such a short time?”

“Two decades aren't a short time. At least for short-lived mortals like you. I don't really know, what Foxy did, probably disposing of Travellers, but I was almost constantly on some task for the Estate, or if not, was training or running dungeons. There was an entrance to the Grand Dungeon of So'ee not far from home, for example."

“I did all that, and gained only four Levels!”

“You gained four Levels in what, four months? That is actually impressive and incredibly fast! Don't forget, I was with you for most of the time, and you didn't do much in the way of tasks and running dungeons! You were just jerking off most of the time! When you started to do things not just small things around Willowflower, you actually sped up with Leveling. Do you want more Levels? Find a damsel in distress, save her, enjoy her rewards, repeat. Or unearth long-lost treasures of cultural significance. Bring MYTHRILL to the people! Hahaha!"

“So, I would need to hard work and put myself into mortal danger time and again?”

“Pretty much, yes. It will be fun!”

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