“I’m not sure that she’ll come.”

“To be honest,” Kain replied, “I’m not entirely certain how she’ll even be able to do anything if she does come here.”

He looked over to a massive portal that hung in the air just a bit away from where he stood. The thing was massive, but there was no army set to come through it. This wasn’t Endgame, after all. No, this portal was for only two people, both of whom were rather… different. One would be more than able to fight freely in the battle to come, but the other would likely have at least a few difficulties at a bare minimum.

“Don’t worry.” The voice of Zero Noir came from another crack in the fabric of spacetime as a mass of water began to pour out of another such rip in reality. “She just needs water, and a lot of it.”

“And what is stopping that water from simply falling to the ground and being rendered useless?” asked Alexis as the torrent of liquid soon was accompanied by multiple other such gouts.

“Did I say this was normal water?” replied Zero Noir in an irritated and snarky tone, which quickly was replaced by a panicked shriek and a wincing movement as Alexis shot him a glare that would make Medusa’s gaze look tame.

However, Zero Noir had not used regular water. As he had hinted, this water did not fully fall to the ground, instead forming weird blobs that eventually began to connect together via long, thick, almost tube-like blobs of water. After another ten minutes or so, there was now a massive network of mini lakes just kinda hanging out in the air with no terrain tying them to any one spot and airborne ‘rivers’ linking them all together.

Kain whistled as the ‘construction’ finished. He had to give the man credit where it was due; that was pretty impressive. Alexis, though, didn’t seem to find it all that amazing. But, then again, she had nothing but negative things to say about the asocial introvert who was also one of the pillars holding the nation’s infrastructure together.

“Well, let’s get this over with. Where is she now?”

Alexis obviously wanted to see any work done by Zero Noir removed from her gaze, but this was mostly due to her just not liking him. She had good reason to, though, as she had very nearly ended his miserable deviant existence after she caught him selling scale models of herself that could be undressed. Kain had to step in and use his control over Zero Noir to force the giant machine-man to stop doing other creepy and downright deviant things on more than one occasion, and given that Darksol tolerated the weird shit that the Vampire Houses got up to, calling Zero Noir’s tastes ‘deviant’ was saying something.

“She’ll be here soon.” Mumbled the giant metal man, and soon enough the portal finally spat out the kaiju-sized ruler of the Naga and her ‘daughter’. Zalga and C’thylla had arrived on-scene, and now the final battle to decide the fate of Arcfira could finally begin. Well, it would begin in a few more minutes, anyway, as Zalga had some choice words for those present.

“At long last, I see you again, my beloved.”

Zalga’s language was utterly indecipherable to most, coming out as some kind of unknowable Elder-Speak to anyone who heard it, but there were those who, for one reason or another, actually understood what the fuck she was saying. All of those present could understand her quite well, but it might have been better if only Kain could.

“Shut it, you moist bint,” Alexis growled. “We are in a perfectly happy and completely monogamous relationship, and I don’t need a soggy fucking slut like you trying to take what is mine. Besides,” she said while brushing her hand through her hair, “there is a massive size difference, and you’ve already got a daughter out of wedlock.”

“Damned lamprey.” Zalga hissed back. “Keep C’thylla out of this, you overgrown tick.”

“Can we go for just one meeting without you two trying to goad each other into a fight?” Kain grumbled, but while his words were soft they were heard well enough, though also heavily misinterpreted by their intended audience.

“See? Even my husband desires that you forfeit your claim to him, not that you had any, to begin with.”

“No, he’s telling you to kindly fuck off and go bother someone else.”

“You skank! You dare try and take that tone with me?”

“A weakling like yourself isn’t worthy of him in the first place.”

“I’ll filet you alive, bitch.”

“Not if I rip you a few new holes first.”

“That’s it! Come get me, bitch!”

“I’ll enjoy making you scream, you damned whore!”

“ENOUGH!”

Kain had to finally put his foot down, looking back and forth between both of the cats that were about to fight.

“Can you two please just keep from doing this right here and right now? Look,” he said pointing towards the tree in the distance, “we’ve got someone who needs to have his wooden head kicked in and his life ended in a cinematic yet brutal fashion. Can you just turn your animosity towards each other away from each other and towards that thing for just a few short hours? Maybe try and avoid sparking controversy and gossip while the battle is going on, too? None of us need the paparazzi getting another bit of idiocy to report on for who knows how long, so please just work together for just this tiny window of time.”

The group of people was now silent as the two women glared at each other. For a while before accenting to Kain’s request.

“Now, Zero, will you tell us where the-.”

Kain stopped mid-sentence and looked askew at the Dungeon Master. A long pause quickly followed as more and more members of the group turned to look at him, and now Zero Noir felt very out of place and in great danger.

After all, he had been sitting and watching Zalga and Alexis bicker and nearly fight each other from the comfort of a giant beanbag chair while tossing handfuls of popcorn at his face, though his lack of a mouth kind of hindered things a bit.

“And you wonder why everyone seems to hate you…” Kain said with a defeated and disappointed sigh as he held the bridge of his nose between two fingers. “What is this; a fucking comedy sketch?! Get your damn act together, man, and tell us where the cameras are and how much film you have for us to waste! I wanted that bastard dead by now,” Kain roared as he pointed towards the Great Tree with a forceful gesture, “but you insisted that we make this into a film; so get this fucking show on the road!”