Sachihiro

I wake in darkness, stone and shadow all about with nothing with which to orient myself.

Carefully I sit up, why are my hands so bony? A part of me is startled by how thin I am but an overall sense of calm has me assessing everything and myself with quiet contemplation. I'm startled but I’m not surprised to find myself in this situation, I get up carefully.

I'm alone in dim darkness, the darkness of the Underworld I realise as I spot the tuning-stone not far away, now noticing the roaring waterfalls and feeling their power through my feet on the rock. I assess my surroundings. Nothing standing out to me or moving in any way, I’m alone as far as I can tell.

I assess myself by feel. I have hands and feet and eyes and a beating heart so strong I feel the impulse of shifting blood stretching my veins as it circulates through my thighs and skull. I take a breath, I wasn’t breathing since I woke I realise as I release the warm air out to take another deeply refreshing inhale of air. I sigh it out loudly, it tastes good to breath, a refreshing experience almost like drinking water. I can’t ‘see’ myself with my awareness for some reason so I use my arms and touch my body examing myself carefully but quickly.

I’m so thin I'm almost nothing but skin and bones. I think I’m in the exact same state I was when I woke in the Black Companies healing tent, there is skin on my bones and barely any flesh more than that. Yet, in contrast to then I feel strong, I feel solid. Like a tightly packed coiled string 10x heavier than it looks I feel completely solid gaunt as I am.

I bring my canteen from storage and take a satisfying gulp. Water tastes like paradise.

My storage still works. I down a bitter healing potion and get dressed in a body-suit that somehow still fits snuggly. Oh this thing actually has a shitting hole I never noticed before, neat.

There are changes to everything I’m perceiving about myself; my awareness is functional but muted somehow, dimmed to almost nothing but not alarmingly so. Blurry in a way I can’t quite describe, I can't percieve myself though. I stumble unexpectedly, a clumsy single step taking me further than expected. I re-assess myself again, I can see much better and further than I did last I was here. Again I have changed and will have to adapt quickly, but I’m alive. Most important than all I’m alive.

I concentrate then relax, consciously connecting with my spiritual body.

#

I exist in the physical as a man-shaped being but in spirit I percieve myself a bubble of spirit-energy in an endless ocean of ever shifting spirit-energy. A drop of water connected to the rest of the water around it by powers and mechanisms beyond my comprehension. I am a unique existence but I am exactly the same as everything else around me in a paradox that makes perfect sense.

''Everything is connected.'' I send a pulse of myself(my spirit-energy) out, seeking the specific sigil I want out there creating a ripple that travels thousands of kilometres in an instant leaving me somewhat drained. I find the necklace I gave to ma with the sigil of myself drawn on it as energy pings on it. From being the only existence in the ocean of spirit I suddenly have the sigil so close in my minds-eye I could touch it if I had hands there, distance so malleable here.

I hone in on my sigil out in the endless spirit realm finding and connecting to the correct spirit-door with my spiritual energy. The door is closed but not locked, I open and squeeze into it.

Appearing on a desk standing over ma looking down on her startled expression.

‘’Sachihiro!’’

The table creaks ominously under the sudden weight.

‘’Ma,’’ I'm so happy to see her I'm right in front of her in an instant.

She jumps up and dives at me with a hug, light as a feather and soft as a plum as she falls into my arms. ‘’Welcome back son.’’

I hold her small delicate form, with too tight a squeeze I could pop her I feel.

‘’Let me look at you,’’ she says whipping away tears. I can’t but smile mutedly feeling joy and relief seeping through her aura.

‘’Sorry for making you worry, I hoped to be back much sooner,’’ I sheepishly admit.

She laughs lightly hitting my arms with her open hand, hugging me again before stepping away just as Kuyoki walks into the room.

‘’Sachi you’re back!’’ Kuyoki is shocked to stillness, I open my arms and she shuffles forward still in shock to touch my gaunt face, stroke my bold head, hold my boney hand. ‘’Welcome home husband,’’ she says kissing my hand. The gesture deeply heartfelt.

‘’Sorry for making you all worry, I hoped to be back sooner than this.’’ I appreciate the welcome, its a balm to the psyche receiving such enthusiastic welcome from these people. My people, the love and care within their emotions deeply felt especially with the spiritual connect between us so much more... more now that we're together.

‘’Don’t apologise for things beyond your control, I’m sure you’d have sent word if you could. All that matters is that you’re now home,’’ ma says squeezing my arm reassuringly. A sad melancholy suddenly coming over her excitement like a cloud hiding the sun.

‘’What is it?’’

‘’A lot has happened since last you were here,’’ Kuyoki says pulling me towards a chair opposite the large desk I nearly broke. ‘’Sit.’’

We sit, not once has she let go of my hand nor I hers, I missed her I’m realising. Her slender form, her dependable presence, her scent eliciting a nostalgic aching within me for simpler times.

‘’Have some of this, you look like you haven’t eaten a thing in years,’’ ma slides a plate of fruit towards me as she pulls her chair closer.

I take a bite, the door opens. ‘’Excuse me ma’am there is a- oh, am I interrupting?’’

‘’Sigmund, make sure I’m not disturbed for the next hour and cancel all my appointments for the day,’’ ma says to the unfamiliar man looking between the three of us curiously.

‘’Yes Madam President.’’ He leaves quickly.

‘’Madam President?’’ It’s a very good apple-like fruit quickly finished, I start pealing a yellow fruit stuffing it in my mouth.

‘’Yes, a few things have changed here since we connected with the Library. What happened with you Sachi?’’ Kuyoki asks preparing a tea bringing it to me silently.

I scratch my head sheepishly, how to even start.

‘’Shea said you just disappeared,’’ Kuyoki says.

‘’You spoke to Shea? How? How is she?’’

‘’He’s fine physically, still in Deep Keep keeping the Alderman at bay. He’s very angry though,’’ Kuyoki shakes her head. ‘’Losing Kyra...,’’ she shake her head again sadly.

The chair I was sitting on flies backwards as I abruptly get to my feet, I catch it crashing into the far wall in a cushion of awareness caught off guard by my own strength, ‘’I need to find Lysandra and Kira.’’ I need to safeguard my babies.

‘’Kira is fine, Lysandra is fine. We found them, we found them long ago.’’

‘’What?’’ How? ‘’How? Are they safe?’’ concerntrating I feel them through our spiritual connection, yes they’re still alive at least and in that direction.

‘’They are safe, everyone is as safe as can be.’’

Coalescing my awareness together like an extra limb I bring the chair back behind me and slump as relief takes all the energy out of me. ‘’How?’’ I down the tea in two gulps, Kuyoki patting me comfortingly.

‘’Through the library mirrors,’’ ma says getting up to pour three chalices of dark liquid placing one to each of us before she starts pacing around with some agitation. ‘’We used portal mirror here, there is a mirror you left in Deep Keep we went through and found Shea. She told us what happened to you, she showed us how to track the kids using a blood ritual. I used your name and paid some points and the librarians let us use their transportation spell, we found them.’’

So many questions in my head, I down the liquid, enjoying the tingling as it goes down my throat. ‘’They’re safe?’’

Kuyoki nods, ‘’they’re safe.’’

Thank god! I melt into the chair which creaks eliciting me to sit up adjusting weight distribution. They’re safe, everyone still alive accounted for, everyone is safe. Kuyoki squeezes my hand eliciting me to open my eyes and smile at her beautiful face.

‘’You’re not leaving again are you?’’

I kiss her face, happy, relieved, free of a weight that was finishing my shoulders. ‘’Is there anyone that’s still lost?’’

‘’Everyone is accounted for,’’ ma responds.

I look up at her, I look down at Kuyoki. ‘’No, I’m not going anywhere.''

''Da!''

''Da!''

‘’Hey da,’’ my daughters walk into the longhouse sweaty and soiled from their sparing.

‘’Hey girls,’’ my daughters melt into my arms.

Bliss.

The days fly by as we get comfortable basking in each other’s presence, peace fills my chest as Anya shifts to cuddle into my side. Mira and Shae spend all their time at Deep Keep but everyone else is settling on this strange isle they've found, so far the only adversary here is nature which is never cunning or malicious.

There is shelter, food and water aplenty allowing us the pleasure of basking in each other’s presence in relative peace.

‘’Why choose the zanpakuto?’’ Ikigai asks from her spot tending to her blade, new scares line her forearm where something wide mouthed took a bite of her. There are nicks and chips on the blade's edge but its a well maintained weapon. The longsword has always been at home in her hands I hope she isn’t considering a permanent change but more than anything I’m amused by the question, captivated by the depth in it.

‘’I like weapons.’’

‘’Arg, everyone likes weapons da but like, what made you choose to stick with it as your main weapon?’’

‘’Well baby a relationship with a zanpakuto doesn’t end, they are made to be part of the wielder,’’ I shrug. ‘’Inevitably a zanpakuto will become ones main weapons.’’

‘’You don’t carry yours around anymore, you’ve not been carrying around anything but that belt knife since you’ve been back but you still move like you’re keeping sharp.’’

I've been spending a lot of time at the house everyone has built always available and in someone's company catching up, I've been sleeping in a pile with my chiildren and mates though sleep barely comes. My mates have been plying me with food while everyone has been doing everything for me like i'm an invalid, it makes me happy, it comes from a place of love. These moments just sitting with my family having random conversations basking in each other's presence is a dream come true to me even though i fear it could dissappear again without warning.

‘’I believe what Iki and now I also want to know is how are you keeping fit? What’s going on with you? You look as thin as a reed yet I saw you lugging logs with Uncle Esuas and you moved well so what's up with you?’’ Nikita asks looking up from the library orb she’s been keeping in hand the whole time.

I grin, ‘’what else have you been noticing?’’

‘’You got stronger again didn’t you? He got stronger again. Are you 3rd tier now? You know Ava was saying to grandda that you could probably teach him a few things,’’ Nikita says pravocotavely with Ikigai nodding knowingly.

The humour bursts out of me in a giggle, are they trying to get me to fight da? That would be a spectacle, not a bad idea either. I haven’t spared with anyone since we’ve been together. ‘’I did get stronger,’’ I gesture 4 fingers for Nikita making a face. ‘’Your da is pretty strong now you know,’’ I pull tighter onto them with my awareness/domain. An enfolding hug constricting them without me having to move from where I sit with Anya sleeping at my side.

We’re all smiles and gingles as Aura walks in, ‘’what you guys up to in here?’’

‘’Da is flexing,’’ Ikigai says testing her movement within the resistance she feels about herself.

‘’Oh, I don’t see no muscles, show me da.’’ As soon as she’s comfortably in a chair I pull her snugly. ‘’Ah, now I feel you flexing. Impressive.’’

I giggle at the motherly encouraging tone coming from my daughter.

‘’What does it do?’’ Niki wants to know.

‘’Can you make it tighter?’’ Iki wants to know.

‘’I can feel your aura more potently as well,’’ Aurora points out.

‘’Hey guys,’’ Amanda says grabbing a stool scooting up into Nikita’s side. She looks at the sword dancing Iki who looks like she has training weights on and the contemplative Nikita making as though squeezing the resistive air between her hands. ‘’What you guys doing?’’

‘’Da is flexing,’’ Aurora says to her cousin.

‘’What?’’

I gently tighten the hold of my awareness around Amanda as well.

‘’Oh, nice! New spell?’’ She eagerly tests herself against my hold as well. ‘’It’s like I’m in a pool of water, did you Awaken again Uncle Sachi?’’

‘’Yes Sachi, if you’ve reached Imperium you have to tell us how it feels,’’ Ava’s eyes sparkle with humour as her squad walks in from whatever duty they were doing. Hunting by the looks of them. Sema the spear maiden, Onimore the giant, Dewan the trap specialist.

‘’It’s a very recent thing, I’m not sure how to categorise it yet.’’

‘’No categorizing necessary, how does it feel?’’ Ava insists as she gets rid of her heavy training armour with a sigh, her skin pink with warm vitality. Her nipples are pointed like fingers, she smirks as she wipes sweat putting on a see through tunic.

Everyone gets comfortable grabbing drinks, opening up the roofing and quickly hanging from the beams and branches of the tree draping over the longhouse like monkeys.

Okay, isle life.

‘’Okay, I feel like I take up more space than I did before. Like, okay, some of you guys are aware of my awareness.’’

‘’Yea, that trick that means I can’t sneak up on you,’’ Ingwe says walking in with a smile. Our lips peck as she greets me placing two large fish in a dish for Thandeka to carry off.

‘’Yes, that trick,’’ I say watching her every move. She’s so gorgeous and ripe with energy even after everything she’s been through. ‘’So even our huntress here and the shadow over there,’’ I point out Soal lurking in the background. ‘’Can’t sneak up on me.’’ The man smirks disappearing behind a tree, actually disappearing. Mhm, neat trick that.

‘’I feel like I’m part of my awareness, or my awareness is part of me.’’ How to explain this, ‘’like my awareness is part of my hand and I can use it to grab things.’’

‘’That could be useful,’’ Ava says with a thoughtful look.

‘’How strong of a force can you exert?’’ Cicilia asks as she walk in with Gaia, Zhen and Aunt Helen right at her heels, I grab her as soon as she’s close enough arresting her completely.

She looks at me askew, grinning she slumps into my hold instead of trying to resist as I expected. Melting in my awareness I hold her up, losing the tightness of my hold on everyone else as I tighten my awareness/self around her lifting her from the ground right into my lap. She drops her spear as her lips find mine and the world disappears into the background.

The catcalling and whistling has us separating, ‘’I’m glad you’re back Sachi.’’ She whispers soft eyed with calloused hand on my cheek.

‘’Me too Cici,’’ me too. I just need to find Om now but he can wait, he has to wait.

I show off and enjoy my family and friends, everyone coming into our family communal longhouse until people are hanging from rufters with the kids running around the fire laughing as they play. Da has his and Esuas' latest brew passed to everyone brave enough to try it before raising his flagon of cider made from the fruit found on the isle, ''to the ones we've lost.''

''To the ones we've lost!''

''Here here!''

We drink, in remeberance of the ones we've lost.