《Life would be so much easier if I weren't a monkey》Chapter 30: The count of monkey Cristo

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Name: Natasha

Race: Mandrill matriarch lvl 10

XP: 0

Size: 75

Type: Beast

Faction: Unaligned

Armor: 0

HP: 100/100

Strength: 8/Speed: 11/Endurance: 8/Magic: 8/Plasticity: 5/Luck 10

Senses: Vision 4, hearing 4, smell 4, taste 1, touch 2

Abilities: Balance 2, omnivorous 4, aposematism 3, specialized innate magic 6, Voice 1, coordination 2

Skills: Piercing bite 6, Jab 8, grapple and strike 7, precise throw 7, agile climb 7, nimble sneak 6, hide 1, rapid dash 6, dodge 2, block 1, discern weakness and strength 6, mysticism 1, quickstep 1, tumbling 1, leadership 4, mystic channeling 1, adaptability 1, infliction 1

Spells: Wind drake breath 6, windfury 5, jetstream 1, cloud step 1, thunder missile 1, misty path 1

Boss ability: mob boss

Lao Tzu

Mandrill lvl 4

HP:20/20

Tony Luciano

Mandrill lvl 4

HP: 20/20

I jolted awake suddenly, a shiver running reflexively through my body as I raised up on all fours. It took me a few seconds to remember where I was. I had just taken a nap in a tree. It’s a good thing I didn’t manage to fall out of the tree while I was out cold. Then my mind went back to that weird dream I just had. Now, I know that dreams are basically your brain’s way of working through stuff while you’re asleep, but it would really help if the lesson I am to receive would be in a language I understand. What the heck is a gigantic cosmic heart supposed to mean? That’s basically just an album cover, which isn’t super useful in keeping myself from becoming spider food.

I raised my head to look around again, and stretched out my shoulders. The sun had moved since I laid down my head, so now it must be the evening. This is unfortunate. Evening means there aren’t many hours of sunlight left to use, and I am not collecting sap again to make a torch. My mind wandered back to the dream I’d had, but the more I thought about it, the less sense I could make of it. Why was everything white ink? What is that symbolic for? I’m not good at deciphering symbolism when it’s intentionally created, much less by my own sleep-addled brain. Though the whole thing did feel familiar, that may have just been because of the bus ride.

I yawned, stretching my back legs out across the branch. It took me a little bit but I did find Lao out by the water searching through the dirt. I did not see Tony. Boris was sitting up against a tree, looking like he was eating something, but it was too far away to see what. I hopped down the tree, quickly scampering down the trunk until I was on the forest floor again, trodding up to the edge of the lake to meet up with Lao. As soon as he saw me, he gave a hoot of acknowledgment before turning his attention back to the ground.

Naturally I was curious as to what he was looking at, so I followed his eyes down to the ground, only to see that he was watching a beetle crawling across a stick. I was a bit surprised that he saw a bug and didn’t immediately eat it, but he was happy just to watch it walk across the stick. I don’t get it, but this is pretty on par for what a young boy would be doing too, and I would imagine they’re pretty comparable. I figured I’d leave him to it, and went off in search of Tony.

It took a little bit to find him, but I did. I just had to follow the noise of the other monkeys around until I saw him with a little cluster of other monkeys. They were all running around in a circle while Tony and another monkey were roughhousing with each other, wrestling on the ground. Tony, being level four was surprisingly not winning, but I suppose it’s just play fighting. Tony is still at full health.

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I walked up to the group, and as soon as Tony looked up and saw me, he grabbed the other monkey by the ear and rolled over on top of them. The one below started kicking up at his belly to keep him off, but Tony was able to lean down and bite the shoulder to just start walking and dragging the other monkey with him. He moved a few steps before the other monkey’s wiggling was too unruly and simply dropped him, while continuing to walk towards me.

I bit my lip trying hard not to laugh before clearing my throat and turning to walk. Now that I’ve collected Tony, I’ll grab Lao and we can get back to work. I need to level these two up to at least six before we climb the cliff and fight some higher leveled monsters. And I’m certainly not going to be bringing them into a dungeon any time soon. They wouldn’t last a second against those spiders. Glancing up at the sky, the sun was getting low in the sky, not enough that it was changing color yet, but enough that I was worried how much time we had.

I came up to Lao again, and as soon as he saw Tony behind me, he took the hint that it was time to go, and stood up. Instead of following however, he grabbed the beetle between two fingers, picking it up and carrying it over to the nearest tree, where he set it down on one of the roots. After that he ran up alongside Tony and followed behind me. I’m still surprised he didn’t eat the bug, but at least he’s had time to digest and isn’t as round as a watermelon any more.

I started walking and we all made our way up to the trees again, climbing to the low branches and hopping from tree to tree. We’ve done this plenty by now, and the both of them are actually starting to keep up with me. Which is nice, because slowing down as much as I am, even if it lets me be stealthier, they are about as stealthy as toddlers full of sugar, so it hardly matters how quiet I am. Basically my entire investment into stealth has just sort of been thrown out the window. A bit of poor planning on my part.

We continued for a while as I looked around for more creatures that we could actually hunt, but it wasn’t long until I spotted something moving a good distance ahead of us. I paused, squinting slightly to try and judge what it was, but my stomach curled into a knot as soon as it came into my view. The long segmented shape, and each with even more legs. It was a centipede. I tried to think for a moment. I have beaten one of these before, but the skin of my teeth. Now I am stronger, but I’m also carting around two more monkeys with only 20 hp each. I really should not be taking that kind of risk. If it were just me, then I probably would, but right now that is a bad choice.

So I turned to the right and headed in that direction, away from the giant demon bug. We kept the same pace, but I was spending most of my efforts keeping my eyes open for more targets, and also pointedly also the possibilities of a tree I’m jumping towards being fake. The VERY last thing that I want to run into would be that mantis. Running across that thing again would mean instant death. I shivered a bit at the thought of it.

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I landed on a tree branch, looking back behind me to make sure the two of them were keeping up, seeing both hopping from the previous tree to the one I was on. I was hoping that we could at least get to level five before sundown, but honestly I’m not sure how much xp they can earn in that time. I suppose it depends on how much xp one kill actually gets them. If it’s one to one then that would be fantastic, we could level them both in no time, but if it’s split equally between them it will take longer. Or worse, if it’s split three ways, and all my xp is just disappearing into the ether. The idea just pokes at my brain about the wastefulness of it.

-6 hp

I was suddenly flushed with pain, a sharp stabbing plunging into my collarbone as I was thrown off of the branch, falling through the air towards the rapidly approaching ground. I didn’t have time to actually think about what to do, so I shunted out a breath as a translucent platform rippled under me, angled back towards the tree. It wasn’t pointed up. Even if I could get back on the branch I would still have my assailant on my back. No, I angled it towards the trunk. I hit the platform and the burst of wind shot out, blasting me back and slamming the assailant into the tree. Then as it unlatched from my shoulder, I actually turned my head to see what had hit me and I saw a cat. The same sort of big cat that fought with Boris before.

-1 hp

Though, as soon as I realized this, and started falling once more my mind went back to the other two. These cats may travel in pairs. My second misty path, I placed below me to stop my fall and clung to as the cat quickly scrambled to latch onto the tree. I looked up and saw exactly what I had expected, Tony was looking down at me, and above him was a second cat, crouched and ready to pounce on him. I jumped as soon as I could, but the cat must have some sort of pounce skill, because it moved so much faster than I did. A third misty step was my only option, placing the platform between the cat and Tony.

-1 hp

The cat bumped its face into the surface, like he’d jumped into a glass door, but as soon as the pressure fell away from the tile the wind burst away from it, sending the cat back up towards the branch it had pounced from. I grunted as I reached the branch, Tony was standing on, gripping it roughly with both hands and quickly hauling myself back up. Unfortunately the cat above was doing much the same. I spared a glance downward, and the other cat was already climbing back up too. I couldn’t tell which one was the worse threat right now, so I decided to just lessen the odds.

-1 hp

I spent my last misty path on the one cat that was climbing back up, placing it as a barrier right above its head. It bonked into the tile and wind burst out of it like a landmine, sending the cat scraping back down the tree again, but admirably it kept its grip, digging grooves into the bark and slowing its descent. I could only spare one glance though as I turned my attention to the other cat, which turned itself back around towards us. It crouched again, this time not even hiding that it was going to pounce. I made the throwing motion to the other monkeys, which they quickly understood, and ran back to the previous tree we jumped from.

-1 hp

The cat above was set to pounce and I braced for the same, seeing it shift its weight I knew just when it would pounce, so I waited, pulling my knife out of my pouch and keeping it clutched in one hand. As soon as it jumped, it held both clawed paws out in front of it, ready to dig into me, but I didn’t like that idea. So I quickstepped to the side, out of the way and the claws dug into the branch. I didn’t wait for it to pull itself free, my empty hand shooting forward to grab the cat by the scruff and climbing onto its back. It was barely bigger than I was, but it still held me up. I brought my knife down into the cat’s side and quickly pulled out again.

-1 hp

I had expected the grip I held onto its neck to be enough to keep me on, but as soon as it felt my stab it jumped quite literally five feet in the air to try and throw me off. Save for the grip I had with the one hand, it pretty much worked. I flew off the back and over the shoulders, holding onto the back of its neck as we came face to face. At the same time I could hear the claws of the other cat climbing up onto the branch with us. I needed to do something about this, and fast.

-1 hp

As the other cat’s face came up to mine, we both opened our jaws to try and snap at each other. Neither of us managed to get a grip on the other, but as the cat raised its paw to claw at me, I let go of my grip. I slid off the branch but caught myself with my feet (good ol’ trusty foot thumbs), and swung up under the bottom of the branch, and scuttled around the other sider to get back on top. Now, the one cat was looking at me, and the other was behind him, but the one in the back couldn’t do anything with his buddy between him and me. This was looking like a strategic advantage for all of one second before a large nut THOKed off the shoulder of the one in the back.

-1 hp

I grit my teeth as the furthest cat turned and started to run towards the boys. Now I was the one in a tough spot. I watched the cat in front slash at me and quickstepped back, wanting to stay out of slashing range, but now I needed to do something. I took in a deep breath, and in a loud roar of wind, wind drake breath ripped through the air in front of me. Both cats were sent flying off the branch, but the further one managed to avoid the brunt of it just clawing onto the end of the branch. The closer one was propelled upwards and launched up into the higher branches again. I cut off the breath once both of the cats were gone, and huffed. I can’t just be playing keep away with them. I need to go on the offense.

-1 hp

I dashed for the one cat that was hanging onto the tree, pulling the top half of the body up onto the branch. I ran right for it and charged ahead, going for a wide haymaker punch. I could have used the knife, but I was hoping the blunt impact would be more effective at knocking it off the branch. Once the fist connected, hitting the cat square on the nose, it was a heavy blow, but the cat didn’t fall like I’d hoped. Its claws were dug into the bark. Lucky for me another nut came in and thwacked into its elbow (knee?), making the cat fall some thirty feet to the ground below.

-1 hp

It wasn’t dead but it made a decent impact. I turned my attention to the second cat, which was regaining its footing in the branches above. I could see its attention turn immediately over to Tony, who was throwing nuts down towards the one below. I hurried over, jumping up across to the next branch but the cat pounced much faster than I could dash, and latched onto Tony’s back leg.

-1 hp

Tony Luciano -6 hp

Tony let out a shriek as the teeth sank into his shin but he didn’t just panic and flail around. He whirled around, practically hopping on one foot as he brought both fists down onto the cat’s head repeatedly. It didn’t look to be very effective, but it was more than nothing. Lao on the other hand came up from behind and grabbed onto the cat’s tail, giving it a swift yank. I gripped the knife tightly in my hand as I leapt forwards arching my arm underneath to stab at the cat’s belly.

-1 hp

Tony Luciano -1 hp

As soon as my knife hit, the cat's jaws unlatched and the claws swiped at me, raking across my forearm. I didn’t care that I got hit, all I was thinking about right then was that I needed to give Tony a persimmon to stop the bleeding, which means I need to get this cat away from him. So I grabbed a hold of this cat and with all the might I could muster, lifted the cat off its feet and ignored all the scratching claws as I chucked it off the branch.

- 4 hp - 4 hp -2 hp

Tony Luciano -1 hp

The cat probably didn’t get all that damaged from the fall, but it gave me some space to work with, and looking down, I could already see the other was climbing back up the tree we were on. My nose wrinkled, growling as I watched the cat scaled the tree with alarming speed. I had just about enough from these two. I needed to narrow this down to deal with just one. I waited until my pseudo-lung refilled, and the cat made it about five feet away from the branch.

-2 hp

Tony Luciano -1 hp

I dropped down, one hand latching onto the front leg, and both back legs wrapped around the belly. My knife hand was surrounded by a swirling wind as windfury roared to life. The quick stabs peppered the back of the monster as it started to shake violently to tear me off. It didn’t throw me, but it did make it nearly impossible to stab any more, even worse, I could hear the second cat already climbing up behind me.

-2 hp

Tony Luciano -1 hp

It was a good thing I went for the grapple upgrade, otherwise I’d have been thrown off immediately. I latched the opposite foot on the beast to give myself a handhold to stabilize myself. It was from there the second round of stabs rang true. Though just as I had, the second cat jumped at me, latching the claws into my back. There was nothing I could really do if I wanted to avoid losing my grip.

-4 hp -2 hp

Tony Luciano -1 hp

The second cat’s weight was too much for the first cat to handle. All three started to fall onto the ground. I however was not going to simply take the fall impact. I twisted mid-air, and threw the cat I was attached to, down to the ground, landing on a blanket of matted fur. I landed with a rough crack, the cats functioning as a decent cushion for my landing. It wasn’t perfect, but I didn’t take any real damage from the fall.

-2 hp -2 hp

Tony Luciano -1 hp

My next stab arched down into the one that was already injured, but windfury ended after just two more stabs. Each subsequent stab I did with my own arms, but I had to jump away once the other bit at my leg. I panted out a few quick breaths as both cats stood up, moving in half circles around me until they were both in opposite directions. As soon as my attention was locked on one, the other came in and tried to slash at my back. I could hear it running though, so I gave it a swift backhand which both worked and didn’t. I made an impact on the cat, but it still snapped its jaws onto my hand.

-6 hp -2 hp

Tony Luciano -1 hp

I knew the next bite was coming in, but my foot shot up, grabbing onto the snout and shoving it into the ground. The one that was holding my fist, I raised the knife up under the jaw and punctured it, but unlike the previous stab, this one started gushing out red and filling the air. It seemed I’d hit an important vein. The cat let go of the hand, but despite the sudden dizziness tried to claw at me, which was nothing when I pulled back my leg to step away.

-2 hp

Tony Luciano -1 hp

The cat I was stepping on lifted its snout abruptly, pushing me away, but inadvertently pushed me away from its claws. This was the more injured one, so I tried to rush in and get a similarly lucky shot to the neck, but each swipe was too short to hit. As I quickstepped back to dodge one of the sluggish claws of the cat, another nut was chucked down at the cat with an audible crack as it impacted its skull.

-2 hp

Tony Luciano -1 hp

Creature level is too low. 0 XP

+20 hp

I didn’t have any time to process the cat’s death as the remaining one pounced again. I tried to dodge, but those teeth latched onto my arm and bowled me over. Despite the pain I was actually fine with this. If anything was going to get hit the arm is the best, and it opened up the opportunity for a counter attack. The knife thrusting back up into the underbelly once again. Each cut was shallow, but it was just speeding up the bleeding as the claws slashed at my chest.

-6 -4 -2 hp

Tony Luciano -1 hp

Creature level is too low. 0 XP

+20 hp

Tony Luciano has leveled up.

Lao Tzu has leveled up.

I felt the cat’s body go limp on top of me and sighed in relief, glad that that was all over. I had managed to get them both leveled up much faster than I’d expected, but we were still one level off before I’d be comfortable taking them up the cliff, but we have plenty of time before the sun goes down. We will be able to get them up to six, then lie down to go to bed and climb the cliff first thing tomorrow morning. Well, maybe not the first thing.

I shoved the body aside, shaking myself off. I wasn’t fully healed, but at three quarters, I’d call this perfectly healthy. So I climbed my way back up to the boys, who were still hooting loudly, looking down at the bodies. I quickly pulled them both in to give them both a sidelong hug, rustling the fur of their back and shoulders. They were happy to receive the praise, Tony in particular held his chin up high.

I didn’t want to take too long to get on the move, as there was no time to waste. Hopping from one tree to the next once again, though again they were both just that little bit faster than before, trying to keep up with me as we loudly bounded from tree to tree. I was making a point from now on to keep a lookout above me so that I don’t get pounced on again. Not that I am worried about fighting more cats, but I don’t want them pouncing on the boys.

I looked back at the two of them and they weren’t far behind. As I hopped from one tree to the next I watched how differently they handled it themselves. Tony just jumped across, confident that he could make the jump, while Lao always goes right to the edge of the branch, pauses and then jumps. It’s weird to think that a monkey would be hesitant to climb trees, but then again, he may still be working off all that lunch he had. I’d be hesitant too if I were to double my weight.

The idea made me chuckle under my breath while the two of them moved from one branch to another, but once Tony jumped again he jolted over suddenly and started falling. My eyes went wide as he tumbled over, and I was about to climb down after him when my face was splashed with something hot. I looked to the side, and saw Lao with an arrow pierced through his gut and up under his ribs before falling limply down to the forest floor.

Tony Luciano -12 hp -13 hp

Lao Tzu -16 hp -9 hp

Tony Luciano has died.

Lao Tzu has died.

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