“We can't . . . can we use any of this?” Gaelvry Beruvo peered at a gold Material Facsimile dangling between two delicate fingers.

“It is evident that we are all at our level cap and therefore have no Exceed Crushes left before us. Therefore Material Facsimiles are entirely valueless. We will move on to address skills. I am fully twelved. The rest of you?” Rylweadh of Mercy's inquisitive looks were all answered by nods or, in Minsie's case, the summertime thumbs-up. “As I suspected. To sum up, that leaves us with only our gear to be improved. Mine is quite good. The chances of an upgrade dropping here, well, I would have to ask an expert about that.”

“What shall we do with the superfluous items, then?” Aerywe Beruvo paid full attention to the words and worries of others at all times, even when she was buffing the officers who did all the work or dashing back and forth to try to get a hit in on a Space Pirate. Consideration of that level is rarely found.

“We can donate it to the other rainbows!” Minsie evaporated an enemy right before Aerywe's weapon reached it, but not out of malice. She wished to spare anyone the bother. Such consideration as that is scarcely seen these days.

Aerywe Beruvo swung through the space left by the departed foe, placed the head of her ax on the ground, and leaned on it as if she had planned that the entire time. Though unlikely that Minsie would have noticed and felt embarrassment for discommoding her groupmate, the diligent hostess never invited likeliness into her home but rather made a permanent guest of certainty. “All URs are quite well-equipped to my knowledge, save perhaps deprecated alts.”

“Golds!”

“Possibly, but the greater weight of our gains will surely be beneath even SRs.”

“Silvers!”

“Very well. We shall donate our gains to the Rares.”

Gaelvry yelled her concern with that course of action out of the crowd of Space Pirates and Followers that strained with all their might to bring her below half health, which would have ended up all the worse for them. The Grit component of her Troubles of the Beruvia passive would have kicked in and reduced their damage to nothing, and then they would have looked silly. Gaelvry strove to prevent their being embarrassed even though they deserved everything that came their way. “The Rares have all their Exceed Crushes done and most of them have gear these days. I'm not saying they can't use a lot of this stuff, skill items especially, but for the bulk of it, the fact is that we need to go even lower.”

And so it was that the Commons, after nearly three years, got something to put in their gear slots. The Team Evergreen base became a distribution center for the least-expected charity in Commandment of Hero history, tied with all the others. Of which there were not many.

Nor did the officerbase believe in the good faith of the new one at first. When the pamphlets went up offering free trash items to officers who were also trash, Inferno Wolf, Quake Lion, Flood Dolphin, Storm Hawk, and Eclipse Bat sniffed around and tasked their animal senses to detect any possible danger. They slunk to the indicated bungalow with their locomotive limbs tensed in case of a need to scamper away, got items as promised instead of becoming the guests of honor at a barbecue as they expected, and communicated the startling result to their compeers in whatever bestial language Commons used. Brenlond Warrior, Doveskan Fighter, Perandran Soldier, Archens Soldier, and Eksaphite Sailor soon honored their countries by hitting stats never recorded in the C-rarity annals. Pirate and Crocodile Launcher represented non-government forces which challenged the state's monopoly on violence by equipping weapons for the first time ever. Basilisk and Centaur Archer also showed up.

Tinni Ilx dropped the last spare boots into the sack hanging from Crocodile Launcher's teeth and told it, “Put those on and you'll become stronger and more popular than I am! Ha ha!” She shut the door and pivoted around as if a DJ were in charge of her choreography. “Crocodile Launcher and Eksaphite Sailor will be more popular than I am! Won't they? Tell me they won't!” She folded up on the floor, sobbing.

Jonathan looked at the door in yearning but had no way to reach it without removing the sudden obstruction one way or another. “Commons don't even have skills, Tinni.”

“Yeah . . . hkk . . . but . . . hkk . . . the video said I might as well not have skills . . . hkk . . .”

Quircy Rau Mark Bride came over and mimed a kicking motion, but Jonathan Brightwater shook his head. She curtsied in deference to his courtliness and attempted a supportive consolation procedure. “Just asking, but how many views did that video have?”

“One . . . hkk . . . point two k . . . hkk . . .”

“1.2k, huh? Suppose we subtract that from the population of the planet. Let me see. One, two . . . quelle surprise! It seems approximately nobody in the world has seen that video, let alone agrees with it! Ah, well, someone has to stand up for the nobodies, but you'd better be standing if that's your intention.” Quircy hoisted Tinni Ilx to her feet, maneuvered her to the side, and dashed out the door. “Yowch!” Jonathan Brightwater peered outside in time to see a young bride picking herself out of a jumble of Commons leaving and Cadmoses coming to congratulate Team Evergreen on its community-building efforts.

“Bippety bopcha, what's new in gacha, SirSuccess here with Commandment of Hero episode number 12,356, marking this as the longest series there's ever been, going by made-up episode counts. But can you blame me for making all these videos? Yes, but here's another one anyway. If you didn't hear, another character was announced for the spinoff. If you didn't hear about the spinoff, don't blame yourself. I first found out yesterday that Czechoslovakia isn't a country anymore. And just like Slovakia and the Czech Republic, we got a two-for-one deal with these new fighters. What can beat that? Here's another two-for-one for you: Like and subscribe. If you comment, that's a threefer, which even CoH hasn't managed yet.

“Gaelvry and Aerywe, if that's the right order, and thinking about it I'm pretty sure Aerywe's the older one, but it's too late to go back. I could edit it, but you know me better than that. What you may not know, but you will, is that Beruvo 1 and Beruvo 2 are fine choices in my eyes, though they aren't what I'm hoping for. What do I hope? That the Holy Legend Army collab characters get in. I like to hope for things that will never happen. That way I'm never satisfied. Always have a dream.”

“Phase one is done on schedule,” Wruden Calx declared. The pizza place, projected to be the most trafficked of the plaza's food stations, delivered its debut pizza to the charming little table where sat he and a few other VIPs, or Very Impatient for Pizzas, all under a tall, fixed umbrella that that came up through a hole in the table's center and cast an ominous shadow over all of them. Well, it was a shadow. Eten tried to adjust it for a more ominous effect at their request, but the more he messed with it, the more open and honest it became.

“That's a surprise.” Vice President Lane grabbed the biggest slice to hide the embarrassing fact that Convergence/Divergence's food-cutting technology had yielded such an uneven result. “When do you expect enough activity to justify this investment?”

“After at least four inclusions are announced. That number of fan clubs in close proximity will generate controversies, and controversy means activity around here.”

Another shadowed figure, who was obviously Metatron on account of being a colored silhouette of an angel, spoke. “Probable time for the third announcement?”

“Grooms in a week or two.”

“Satisfactory.”

“You are so quick with the being satisfied,” said yet another mysterious man that anyone who played Chaos Cuisine could identify as Dr. Golovkin, so long as the private investigator asking about him handed over a sawbuck or two as an aid to memory. “But the food is unexciting. The dining experience no better. The customers sit still and do not contribute to the subduing of the ingredients. The employees go unmolested while they make the cooking by the rival establishments. What of the floor show?”

“We don't handle extra-live ingredient delivery,” Vice President Lane warned. “It's outside our branding.”

Frossard cut in. “Ah, vitality! The struggle for survival. We work so hard to rise above it, and then we look down and regret what we have done. For such a creature is man, that loves his enemy but tolerates his friends! Convergence/Divergence hides its love, Chaos Cuisine puts on a show of memorials to what is gone, a wedding without a bride, and as for Commandment of Hero? Some of each, perhaps. Not as an abhorrent compromise, but out of the luminescent greed of that people which drives them to have everything, but doubled.”

The conference attendees had skimped on security, which allowed Formal Figro to walk over and slam his hands on the table without any cunning spy subterfuge. “Have some decency, will you? I've been listening in on this sinister meeting, the one thrill available this season for those of us who already received our groom alts, and I've heard nothing of conspiracies worthy of a novella, let alone a major motion picture.”

“Take heart, my enemy! Bear with us, for what cannot be changed must be borne or done away with, and I wish to see what will come. For it comes, my enemy, and what it is, we must find words for it never spoken before.”

“That's an improvement as far as showing ill intent, but how about something a little more concrete? I hate to sound ungrateful. It's only that I wonder what the purpose of this meeting is.”

The others shrugged. “I honestly just want to talk about branding,” Vice President Lane said.

“Ah. I suppose it was my error to expect anything here more intriguing than side game enthusiasm.” Figro straightened himself. “Hope to see you all at the groom announcement.” He used his cane to tip his top hat and sauntered away.