“You haven’t talked about it,” says a low alto behind me.

I barely pause in brushing Blue’s Mane. He’s gonna be spiffy as I can make him with extra apples for the torture I put him through during the joust. I haven’t had the time to grant him the proper appreciation for his help, so after Ran fell asleep, I came to brush him down and give him apples.

“About what?” I ask, turning slightly.

Silver comes beside me, gently running a hand down Blue’s flank. And then he takes a brush from a basket and begins the steady motions of one well acquainted with the care of a horse. I realize I’ve stopped brushing to gawk at him and turn back to combing out Blue’s mane with a low cough.

“The bet.”

My hands pause. “Huh?”

His white teeth flash beneath his hood. “The bet. If you stole a knife, I’d grant you something.”

“That was weeks ago!”

“And you still have yet to request something.”

“Didn’t I ask for a spar?”

He turns, leaning against Blue and making the horse snort, but Blue doesn’t move—much to my disappointment. It would ruin Silver’s powerful stance if his prop moved and he fell.. or at least stumbled.

“You have a master assassin at your disposal and wish to spar? I thought you may change your mind, knowing what I am.”

“Like what, ask you to kill someone?” I hide a grin by immersing myself in brushing Blue’s mane. “I can do that just fine on my own.” My shoulders lift in a shrug, the prospect growing on me the more I think of it. “Why not? Afraid I’d beat you?”

He chuckles, a sound I feel to the bottom of my toes. “Ahhh, Mau Tigress. Feisty as ever. Alright, spar we shall. But later, when you’re rested.”

“As if I’m ever rested,” I mumble.

That gets a smirk.

“Oh!” I say, snapping my head up. “There is something you could help with.” I explain what happened with the Red Mistress and how we’re planning on infiltrating the Underground to find what La’Maciago is doing down there. “Would you—” I trail off, not used to asking for help, but knowing I don’t want to do this alone.

“Of course I’ll go. What do you take me for, a peacock?” I choke on a laugh, eyeing him. Does he know that's what I call nobles? “Do you know when?”

I shrug. “The Mistress is trying to get a meeting. It could be anytime.”

He rubs a hand on his blades, his eyes far away in deep thought. He nods, as if answering some unspoken question. “Tell Hans when you hear. He knows how to contact me.”

For some reason, that hurts. Although I try to hide it. “And I cannot contact you?”

His eyes dart down, searching my eyes. “Ahh, forgive me. I didn’t realize how that would sound. Hans—”

“Knows who you are?” I say, more bitter than I meant it.

He hangs his head, stepping back. “There are things about me that would bring you to more danger if you knew. More ropes to hang us with, should it come to it. Hans has a straightforward way of reaching me you could not use.” He glances up at me, his silver eyes peering at me through the fringe of his toupee-ish hair. “And I’ve made it worse, haven’t I?”

The absolute terror mixed with horror in his voice nearly draws a laugh from my lips. I shake my head, trying to deny the smile. With his silver eyes looking entirely too repentant and his lips pursed in a frown, he’s entirely too innocent. One can’t stay mad at that. Makes me wonder if he’s also trained in how to use his good looks as well as blades. “Yes. But do continue to hang yourself. Don’t let me stop you.”

He barks out a laugh, then abruptly stops, his brows furrowing as if he didn’t mean to do that. I hide a smile beneath my hand.

“When the time comes, I will sit with you and answer every question you have. But for now, please know that I will do my best to answer any of your questions, but if you ask something I cannot say, then I will tell you. I won’t lie.”

“And how do I know you won’t lie?”

“Have Ran tell you. She can smell lies.”

I turn my eyes to the unrepentant wolf who’s watching with utter fascination in her big brown eyes as her head lays on her paws. You can what? I accuse.

She huffs out a breath. Sure.

And why didn’t you tell me?

Didn’t want to be your personal sniffer twenty-seven eight. You’d have me sniffing out more lies than criminals!

Whelp, can’t argue with that. Would’ve saved me a lot of trouble, back in the day.

“You two are worse than hairbrained numbskulls soaked in hemlock.” But a smile pulls on my lips. Instead of asking me to trust him… he seeks to earn my trust. And that, more than anything... helps.

“I will be patient,” I say with a sigh that draws the barely-there smile I was seeking. I wag a finger at him. “But when it’s safe, you’ll tell me.”

He kneels before me, making me catch my breath. I was merely joking, but his eyes… they peer back and forth between my own, his jaw clenched and his eyes serious. Bold, even.

A man such as him should not kneel before one such as I, whether he is prince or pauper. He is… powerful. Strong. Deadly. Wild.

And yet, here he is.

“I am terrified that, when you learn the truth, you will run. From me. From my responsibilities. From what I’ve done and who I am. But in spite of that, a relationship cannot be built on half-truths and lies,” he says with a wry smile. “As my mother is constantly trying to beat into my skull. So yes, Mau Tigress. Regardless of the consequence, I will tell you when I am able. No, when this war is done, and the people are safe, I will tell you. Shall I give no rule to myself, I may never be able,” the last he mumbles as he looks down, but I kneel in front of him, catching his chin and raising his eyes.

“Thank you,” I say, from the depths of my heart, not near as eloquent as he is, but trying to put in my eyes and in the soft smile gracing my face all this means to me. Yeah, he’s not telling me now, but he’s also not one prone to exaggeration. If he feels it’s unsafe, it likely is. He’s an assassin, for goodness sake. He knows what the stakes are. He’s terrified to tell me whatever it is, that much is true, but when it comes to light, I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt. “Unlike the fairies did,” I whisper, hurt threading through me as I drop my eyes from his.

“What happened with the fairies?” The inquiry is nearly blasé. Much too innocuous for the sharp pain that stabs into my heart. My hand drops from his chin.

I tighten my hand on the comb that’s still in my hands from brushing Ran, my fingers bleaching as the comb cracks a protest.

He watches me, his eyes searching my face, then glancing down at the comb. Gentle fingers stroke my pale white knuckles and I loosen my hold on the comb, dropping it. He catches it. Silver helps me stand, leading me to a hay bale. I don’t protest when he pushes me back until my legs hit the bale. I sit, the hay poking me through my trousers.

He crouches before me, pushing a strand of hair behind my ear, his eyes an almost feverish silver that could rival the moon for her light. “Mau Tigress—” he says, voice strangled to remain calm. “What happened?”

I shake my head, flinging away traitorous tears. He doesn’t need to know anything. I nearly forgot about it all until now. He doesn’t need anything else to worry about on top of what I can see is nearly strong enough to make his broad shoulders bow.

“I… I almost killed a friend,” my disloyal tongue says. I bite it, cursing myself for being weak so as to burden him with my pains.

His thumb brushes away a tear, sending a tingle down my spine. “That’s not like you,” he says softly, eyes searching mine until I look down, unable to bear it.

“Then you don’t know me very well,” I whisper.

He tips my chin up, forcing me to look at him. “No, Mau Tigress. We may have only found ourselves acquainted a short time, but the worst times brings forth what was there all along. It brings forth the heart, the soul, and the mind of the one suffering. And I have seen you suffer tenfold what anyone should, and still have compassion and empathy within your heart. You are kind yet prone to becoming stabby when someone is treated unfairly. I know you, Mau Tigress, because your heart shines in your actions. Never would you hurt an innocent. Which means it was an accident your aching and guilt-ridden soul is finding hard to release.”

I stare at him. He kisses my nose, making my heart flop like a dead fish.

If he isn’t the prince, I am in so much trouble.

“What happened wasn’t your fault,” he says, with such gentle understanding it pierces my walls.

A sob catches in my throat. “My Gift… it almost killed a friend trying to p-protect me.” My lips are numb, and my emotions begin to shut down so I can properly deal with this when I am alone. I shove them into a box, but before I can turn the key and lock the door, Ran stands before me in my soul vault. She gently places her paw on my forearm, her warm amber eyes locked on my own.

This is not the way, sis.

But do I hurt another I love because I can’t control my pain? I never should’ve brough this up to begin with.

Shared pain is an eased burden. It brings you closer. And one reason I approve of this two-legs is because he’s sturdy enough to bear some of your pains—and you are more than strong enough to bear some of his.

Can I trust him with this?

That is something only you can answer. Does his actions match his words? Does he control selfish desires enough to give you freedom? Does he choose kindness over ease and truth over lies? Some of this you won’t know for years, but others… others you know in your soul.

I take a deep breath, knowing she’s right.

She flicks her tongue out, touching it to my forehead. Of course I’m right. Now go bond with your mate. But no mouth to mouth. That’s unsanitary.

The grasses of my soul swaying around us as I lean my forehead against her, choking on a laugh. Thanks, beaut.

I slowly open my eyes, and Silver waits ever patiently before me. His eyes contain deep understanding, but his lips are pinched into a deep frown. “Are you back, Mau Tigress?”

I nod softly, opening and closing my mouth. “Will you… hold me?” I ask, hating how small I sound. But… I can trust him with this part of me. This part I can’t allow Momma or Jack or Jill or even Hans or Jenny to see. The flailing soul. The broken heart. The shattered mind.

Because, beneath the adrenaline keeping me upright and the feverish frenzy to keep going, to find the assassins and prevent the prince’s death and save the country plus keep my family safe, I’m a broken little girl whose peace has fled. Who knows she’s not enough but is too stubborn to quite.

He sits, gently, slowly, and surely enfolds me in his arms, drawing me to his chest until I can hear the soft patter of his strong heart. The heart I was loathe to trust… and yet, somehow, he’s snuck his way past my walls with his kind words and protective ways. He’s tried to forbid me from going into dangerous places, but when he saw I was determined, instead of walking away, he stuck beside me like glue. Helped me survive the worst nightmare of my life and has been a rock ever since.

It’s not his handsome, nearly fae-like features, nor his coiling muscles that drew me like a dragon-fly to a flame. It was his heart, his steady presence. His quirky smile and expressive eyes that clearly communicate his moods even when his face is as expressive as a rock. And, perhaps most of all, his gentle kindness when he had nothing to gain.

I melt into his knife oil and pine scent, burrowing into his presence and soaking in the peace found there.

It drags emotions from me. Drags the unshackled horror of what I did forward, opens boxes I thought locked tight, and I bite my lip, only to taste salty tears on my lips.

A sob catches in my throat.

“It’s alright, Mau Tigress. Let it free,” Silver says, voice gentle as he rubs circles on my back.

And I do. Pain stabs into my heart and my throat aches as tears force their way past my tightly closed eyelids. I squeeze Silver’s tunic in a white-knuckled grip, the pain and panic of that night rising in my throat until it chokes off my airway and a whimpering keen escapes. Silver tightens his arms around me, cocooning me in safety.

Safety to feel without fear of hurting him beyond what he can handle. Safety to grieve free of what others might think. Safety to release my burdens with one who can handle it.

When I’m done, I’m wrung tighter than a rag strapped to a tiller.

Silver kneads at the knots in my back, working his way up and down my spine, and gently allowing me to work through it until I can come back to present.

I relax in his embrace, the stress and worries catching up to me, but here, in this place, I feel safe. That everything may just be all right in the end.

A deep baritone reaches my ears, and I realize he’s singing. It’s in a language I don’t know, but it sounds old. It’s lilting and almost… sweet. It contains an old world depth that makes one almost believe the author of that song traveled to the depths of the ocean… and possibly even walked on the farthest worlds to embody such majesty. It’s beyond what my mind can comprehend, but it’s almost as if my heart understands. My heart eases its rabid beat to align with his voice and the peace it grants, even if that’s a hard won peace. The song is filled with sorrow at times, and then contains the joy of a father holding his son for the first time. A bittersweet lilt that causes tears to spring to my eyes, but these are not tears of pain. They are tears when one sees the birth of a babe or the rising of the most anticipated sunrise to bring the dawn of a new day.

A new awakening.

Joy in the midst of pain.

A strength in the hardest trial.

I still in the presence of that song, which contains the highs and lows and everything in between, all spoken in the realm beyond words.

His voice rises in a deep soprano, and then… it ends.

And I’m left clutching his tunic and trying to understand exactly what just happened.

“I cannot ease your pain, nor can I carry your burdens. But I can join you in them both,” he whispers, warm breath tickling my ear.

“It’s hard to let you,” I whisper back, voice hoarse and cracking. Being so vulnerable sends cracks to the depths of the walls in the foundation I’ve put to keep myself sane. It’s terrifying.

“I know, Mau Tigress. I know. And I will be here regardless, knocking at your door, until you trust me enough to let me in.”

I smile, even if it’s painful and he can’t see it. “And will you do the same?” I ask, pulling back to look into his eyes, wiping my face on my sleeve.

He looks down at me, mouth open but no sound emerges. It seems I’ve surprised him. A gentle smile tips his lips, and he leans his forehead against mine. “Are you sure you wish for that?” he asks softly, breath mingling with mine as I close my eyes.

“Yes,” I breathe.

“I’m not who you think,” he replies, voice coated in self-loathing.

I blink. So he isn’t Prince Arin? No matter, that truly doesn’t matter to me. Prince Arin will always hold a special place in my heart… but this man holds my heart, no matter if he’s a prince or a pauper.

“Then let me know you,” I reply, setting a hand on his cheek.

He closes his eyes, sucking in a breath. “That is terrifying,” he replies, words clipped and slightly breathless.

I nod slightly, a wry smile on my lips. “Absolutely. And yet… it’s beautiful.”

He opens his eyes, the silver searching mine and finding something that makes him relax minutely. His lips tip up. “Ahhh, yes, Mau Cor. Yes it is.”

“When you are down, you will come find me?” I ask, almost shyly. My cheeks tinge pink at my forwardness.

His lips fully tilt and he releases his dazzling smile which causes his entire face to transform and his eyes to crinkle and his irises to almost swirl with blue. But then it fades, and he looks to the ground, but not before I saw a flash of pain. “My father wishes something for me I cannot do,” he whispers, eyes shutting again, but not before I see a flash of pain.

“Have you asked him why?”

He shakes his head. “Yes, but he will not give on this. He’s normally a stern, yet fair, leader. But right now? He almost seems to be a different person than the one I grew up with.”

“Could it be an outside influence?” I ask softly, the woman with the orb coming to mind, and the doppelgängers. Some could still be in the city, posing as important people.

He shakes his head. “He isn’t a doppelgänger. But something… something is not right.”

“How can I help?”

The smile comes back in full force and he runs the pad of his thumb over my lips. “You already are, Mau Tigress. If you’ll excuse me, I need to investigate what you mentioned.”

He leans down, kissing my nose. Then he’s gone.

I’m left nearly falling on my face to the light chuffs of Ran’s laughter.

Will that man ever cease to spin reality on its head?

You enjoy it, Ran says, her tongue lolling and eyes twinkling in a wolven smirk as her ear flicks. She comes beside me, her tail wagging minutely.

I plunk my head into her mane, a tiny laugh escaping my lips as I feel oddly… relieved. Peaceful. Nearly happy.

Maybe being so vulnerable as to grieve and let someone in isn’t such a bad thing… with the right person.

Maybe mutual respect and—dare I say it, love—isn’t so bad.