《A Suspicious Lack of Horses》Soul: 33 - To be better
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"Victoria?" Beatrice asked hesitantly as she opened the door to Victoria's room, peeking inside nervously. Victoria had told her about the meeting last night, the details about what they were discussing and what could go wrong. She was terrified of opening the door and finding Victoria missing, possibly dead because something had gone wrong. She wished she could have convinced Victoria not to go, but… she knew Victoria was right, and it was the only chance they had to save everyone.
Victoria's eyes popped open. "Oh, shit, Beatrice!" She exclaimed as she jumped to her feet.
"You're okay!" Beatrice cried, rushing in and wrapping Victoria in a tight embrace. "I-I was so worried!"
"I know, I'm so sorry!" Victoria apologized, returning the hug. "I should have messaged you the moment I got back, I just- sorry."
Beatrice shook her head. "No, you must have had a lot to think about. I understand. I'm just- I'm glad you're safe." She replied, tightening her grip.
Victoria smiled, tightening her hold on Beatrice as well, before her eyes suddenly widened again. "Oh, shit, I almost forgot! You have to increase your Capacity!" Victoria began in a panicked tone, pulling away and quickly opening Beatrice's system, adding the Capacity stat.
Beatrice blinked at her. "I- okay, but- why?" She asked hesitantly.
"Because, when you Advance your Rune, the pressure doubles, and if you don't have the Capacity to handle it…" Victoria explained, trailing off towards the end as Beatrice's eyes widened. She'd remembered Victoria's warnings about the dangers of having too many Runes. Victoria flinched slightly at Beatrice's horrified expression. "Yeah… it would have been bad."
Beatrice hesitated, before letting out a shaky breath. "At least you caught it in time. Before- before anything went wrong."
Victoria nodded, though she still felt guilty. She'd set Beatrice on a path of destruction! If she hadn't talked with Jocelyn… she shuddered at the thought. Beatrice would have died, and it would have been her fault. "I just- I can't believe I was so stupid!" Victoria groaned.
Beatrice hesitated, not sure how to actually comfort Victoria. Usually she was the one beating herself up! She didn't know how to handle it from the other end. "Victoria… we- we all make mistakes, right?" She offered tentatively. "At least you fixed yours before anything could go wrong." Her expression darkened as she thought back to the mistakes she'd made. "Not all of us do." She finished in a low mutter.
Victoria shook her head. "It's still a mistake I shouldn't have made. Beatrice, I almost got you killed!"
Beatrice's expression hardened as she looked up at Victoria. "And I helped someone attempt to rape you!"
Victoria froze. "Beatrice, you didn't know-"
"And you didn't know!" Beatrice snapped back. "You- you can't beat yourself up over something you can't change." She continued slowly. "You just- we just need to be better."
Victoria stared at her for a moment, slightly stunned, before slowly beginning to smile, pulling Beatrice back into her arms and holding her tight. "Yeah, we do." She agreed. Beatrice held her back, and they both stood there, holding each other for a moment, before slowly parting. Victoria smirked slightly at Beatrice. "I think that's the first time you've yelled at me."
Beatrice flushed. "I- I'm sorry. You just-"
Victoria snickered, shaking her head. "Don't apologize! You were right. Besides… I kinda like it when you're a little forceful." She added with a wink.
After talking with Beatrice about what happened during the meeting, making sure to tell her about the requirements for the higher levels of Cultivation so she could make plans, Victoria returned to her daily schedule, getting her daily tasks done, sparring with one of the Cultivators since Albert was busy dealing with getting the Hidden Blades set up as servants with Maurice, and meditating after lunch. Beatrice had to do laundry that day, so she was all alone, in the middle of meditating on her Design Rune when there was a loud knock on her door. She frowned as she noticed two people through her 'point vision' as she'd started calling it, one with a single weak Qi core and another with two bright cores, one for Spirit and one for Qi. *Ursa? Or Tiffany? And-* They knocked again, more insistently. *Ugh, dammit!* She cursed internally, getting to her feet and opening the door. "What- Hey!" Victoria protested as Tiffany shoved Foratuna into her room.
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"Stop making my Pookie deal with your mess!" Tiffany growled. "You did this, you deal with it!" She demanded before stomping off.
Victoria stood there stunned for a second. "You can't just-" She began, but Tiffany was already gone. She scowled, turning to Foratuna, glaring at her while she shifted uncomfortably. "Shit… what the fuck am I going to do with you now?"
Foratuna bowed. "I am at your command."
Victoria clicked her tongue. "I'm aware. The problem is not knowing what that command is." She paused as she looked Foratuna over with a grimace. As time had passed, most of her anger at Foratuna had subsided. Yes, what the Duke had tried to do was horrible, but… well, her response wasn't any better. The problem was, she had no idea how to actually fix what she'd done. For one, she didn't want to bring the Duke back. He was an asshole and if she could kill him, she would. However, leaving Foratuna all mindfucked to hell didn't feel right either… mostly because Foratuna didn't really feel like the Duke. She just seemed like… some woman. Letting Ursa use her for sex was one thing, but anything more just seemed wrong. And if that was no longer an option… "Ugh! What should I do with you?!?" Victoria groaned in frustration.
Foratuna hesitated. "Punish me?" She offered tentatively. "That's what I deserve."
Victoria paused, glancing at Foratuna with a frown. "What do you mean by that?"
"I- I was a horrible person… the things I did- I deserve to be punished. To be used like- like I used them." Foratuna replied, her last statement coming out in a hoarse, shameful whisper.
Victoria blinked, before narrowing her eyes. "You shouldn't remember that…"
Foratuna flushed, falling to her knees before Victoria in a full bow. "I-I am sorry! I-I tried to forget, but I can't! The memories… They haunt my dreams!" She explained in a distressed tone.
Victoria scowled. "Get up." She ordered, and Foratuna immediately jumped to her feet, though she refused to meet Victoria's eyes. Victoria studied her for a moment, considering something. "How do you feel about your past self?" Foratuna almost seemed to choke as she struggled between answering the question and refusing to acknowledge she had any knowledge of her past self. "Oh for fucks sake!" Victoria rolled her eyes, opening a connection to her through the system. *You can remember your past self!*
Foratuna took a deep breath, as the choking stopped, before quickly beginning to answer. "He was horrible! The things he did… it was like he didn't even think of people as people! I- I hate that I used to be him, and I will do anything to redeem myself!"
"Huh… how did you realize this?" Victoria asked, frowning. What would make Foratuna suddenly believe she deserved to be punished?
Foratuna hesitated. "When- that night when- he- I- you- you turned him into me, and you made me feel… shame. The more I thought about what I'd tried to do, the more I thought about the things I'd done, the more I hated myself. I realized- I realized I deserve this. I deserve everything. I deserve more! Sir Ursa- he- he is actually quite nice… even when I beg him to punish me, he-"
"Stop! I do not need to know what you two do together." Victoria held up her hand, stopping her. The mental images she'd already gotten were bad enough.
Foratuna bowed her head. "I deserve to suffer." She continued in a low whisper. "Nothing you could do would be enough… not to pay for what I've done." She choked out, a few tears dripping down her face.
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Victoria frowned at her, before letting out a frustrated groan. "Fuck! You can't- if you're that sorry, I can't punish you any more! You- you're repentant! More suffering won't fix anything. What you need now is the chance to be better. But how the fuck am I supposed to give you that chance?"
Foratuna blinked at her. "What- what do you mean? I am irredeemable! I don't deserve to be better!"
Victoria scowled at her. "That's literally what you say when you deserve the chance to be better. It's the recognition that you suck that pushes you to never make the same mistakes again."
Foratuna hesitated. "But- how- how else can I pay for what I've done?" She asked in a pained tone.
"By trying to put more good into the world than the bad. Find a way to help people, or to prevent others from doing the things you've done." Victoria replied absently, still considering how she could give Foratuna the opportunity to actually do this. The problem was, if she wanted to actually have a chance to accomplish anything, Victoria would need to unmindfuck her. However, if Victoria unmindfucked her, what would prevent her from turning back into Duke Duhallis? Victoria sighed. If only she could get rid of the Duke and keep Foratuna! Victoria paused. Wait… could she? If she could get rid of Foratuna's memories of the Duke using the system… would that be possible? It should be, right? The system obviously had access to people's minds. It could figure out desires, morals, skills… memories shouldn't be that much of a stretch, right?
Victoria narrowed her eyes at Foratuna for a moment, before shrugging. "Fuck it, let's just try." Victoria muttered, opening up Foratuna's system and creating a memories page. *Let's see… What are memories?* Victoria wondered to herself. Memories… things people knew? No, that was knowledge… Events people remembered? That seemed… closer. Knowledge of events? Hmmm… memories came from experiences… you experienced something and your memory of that experience shapes who you become… crap, she was going in circles. Victoria rubbed her temple in frustration. Was she making this too complicated? "Let's just try this." She sighed, defining memories as knowledge of events that happened in the past, before smirking victoriously as the page filled with entries.
Victoria's smirk turned into a frown as she studied the page. To say it was disorganized would be an understatement. The memories seemed to be grouped by similarity, but the similarities were… strange. A formal dinner and a visit to the tavern would be grouped together solely because both times the Duke had eaten similar sandwiches. Then there were all the memories of the times he'd had sex… Victoria's expression twisted as she looked over some of the titles. No wonder Foratuna felt she deserved to be punished. At least half the memories involved rape! Then there was the torture… Victoria shuddered. She couldn't believe she'd almost fallen into this monster's hands! If not for Ursa… Victoria shook herself, trying to get the thoughts of what could have happened out of her mind. She quickly created an option to delete memories, which… was surprisingly expensive. To delete all of them would take over four hundred points! Why would it cost that much? Victoria frowned, before shaking her head. It wasn't important. It just made what she needed to do more expensive.
Victoria turned her focus back to Foratuna. "Okay, here's what I'm thinking. Right now, you're essentially two people. Foratuna and the Duke. At the moment, what I did to you is keeping you as Foratuna, through shame and obedience, however, that shame and obedience cripples you, making it so all you can do is go along with whatever anyone else wants you to. I want to get rid of that, let you figure out your own path, but… if I do, you might turn back into the Duke, which… I believe we can both agree that would be bad, yes?" Foratuna nodded vigorously. She had no desire to go back to being that person. "So we need a way to get rid of the Duke… which I believe I've found, but… well, it's tricky. I have the ability to erase your memories. Any of them. I want to erase what makes you the Duke, and leave what makes you Foratuna. What do you think about that?"
Foratuna hesitated. "How- how do I know what makes me me, and what makes the Duke… him."
Victoria frowned. "That… is a good question." She muttered thoughtfully. "Part of what makes you you, is the shame you feel from the Duke's actions… so those probably need to stay. The question is, what happened to make the Duke feel like he could actually do those things… you don't just wake up one day and decide to be a monster. You have to consistently and deliberately get away with doing worse and worse things, until you feel like the rules just don't apply to you anymore." She paused. "Seems like it'd be tied in pretty deeply with the thing's the Duke has done though… memories of the act without any memory of the consequences… without shame to make you feel bad, just remembering what you did might backfire, making you remember how you enjoyed yourself, rather than how horrible it was." Victoria frowned. "Would it be better to just erase everything then?"
"But then… who would I be?" Foratuna asked. "Without any memories… I'm no one."
"True… shit, this is harder than I'd thought." Victoria's frown deepened. People were just too complicated. Maybe… were memories not the answer? Foratuna was built on Duke Duhallis… so if she got rid of the Duke, she got rid of Foratuna. She paused. Wait… didn't she already have the answer here? Foratuna was who she was because of shame. All she needed to do was make it so the shame wasn't so debilitating. It needed to turn from something that made her feel worthless to something that motivated her to do better… "Okay, new plan." She announced, pulling up Foratuna's system page. "First, Horniness and Obedience… Let's do three for Horniness and five for Obedience. That seem okay to you?"
Foratuna hesitated. "Could- could my Horniness be set a bit higher?" She asked, flushing slightly.
Victoria raised an eyebrow at her. "Is that you talking, or the fact that your Horniness is still at fifty?"
Foratuna's flush deepened. "M-maybe… b-but- sex- sex is fun. I don't- I don't want to lose interest in it." She muttered in embarrassment.
Victoria paused, before shrugging. "Well, I can't really argue with that." Sex was fun. "Then five for both then? That should be normal… maybe on the high end of normal?" Victoria frowned. She really didn't have enough data to figure this out. "Fuck it, we'll just do it and adjust as needed." She shook her head, pulling up Foratuna's system page, transferring points over to her and beginning to reduce her stats. She spent ninety points to put Foratuna's Horniness and Obedience to five, before moving on to shame. "Hmmm… how about we start by putting Shame at… twenty? Twenty should be fine…" She muttered, mostly to herself. Spending another thirty points to put Foratuna's Shame at twenty. "Alright, how do you feel now? About yourself?"
"I'm not- like- like I'm a horrible person, and- and I need to be better?" Foratuna offered tentatively.
Victoria frowned at her. "I feel like you're just saying that because that's what you think I want to hear."
Foratuna flushed. "N-no, I just- I don't- I don't think my perspective can change that fast… but, I know that's how I'm supposed to feel, so… that's how I want to feel."
Victoria's frown deepened. "That's… something, I guess? We can just let you adjust and then go from there I suppose… ugh, this is too complicated." She grumbled, rubbing her temple in frustration. "You know what? We're good for now. Though… hold on." Victoria quickly gave Foratuna the Cultivation system, activating her task system as well. "Start getting stronger. You can't help anyone if you're weak."
Foratuna nodded, before hesitating. "Uh, where- where should I live now?"
Victoria blinked, having completely spaced on the fact that Foratuna was here because Tiffany had kicked her out of Ursa's room. "Oh. Right. Huh… I think there's an extra room around here somewhere… Come on, let's talk to Maurice and see if we can get you set up."
Once Victoria got Foratuna settled, talking to Maurice and getting her set up in a room near Victoria's, she opened a connection to Ursa. *So, Pookie, how are things with you and Tiffany?*
*Do not call me that!* Ursa growled back. *I cannot believe you told her who I am! The woman is insane, even by human standards! She refuses to let any other females anywhere near my quarters! She got rid of Foratuna! I don't know if she killed her or-*
*Oh, Foratuna is with me. Tiffany showed up a bit ago and just shoved her in my room before running off.* Victoria interjected.
Ursa breathed out a sigh of relief. *Good, good. I'll come by to pick her up-*
*Actually, that's what I wanted to talk to you about. I'm going to need you to leave Foratuna alone for a while. I'm trying to give her a chance to figure herself out, and I don't want her to fall back into thinking she's just there to be used for sex.* Victoria interrupted again.
*I- but- what am I supposed to do for sex then?* Ursa asked hesitantly.
Victoria frowned. *Find a girl who actually wants to have sex with you, like a normal person?*
Ursa groaned. *You humans are too complicated! All I seem to do is offend females when I ask if they're interested in sex! It's a simple question! Yes or no!*
*Wait, wait, hold on. Are you seriously just walking up to women and asking if they want to have sex with you?* Victoria asked incredulously.
*Of course. How else would I know?* Ursa sent back, sounding confused.
*You just- fuck, that's a good point…* Victoria frowned. Life would be a lot more convenient if you could just walk up and ask people if they were interested in sex without anyone getting offended. *But essentially, you don't get to know. Not really. You have to… woo them. Get them to like you so that they're comfortable with the idea.* Victoria paused. *I think… I've never actually done it, so I couldn't really tell you anything specific.* Even back on Earth, with- Victoria's expression twisted as a dull ache settled in her chest as she thought of Jessica. Even with her, he'd had no real idea what he was doing. He'd been pretty much head over heels for her from the start, and he'd always been surprised when she went along with things.
*Humans.* Ursa spat in a way that came across as a curse.
*Yeah, I know, we suck.* Victoria replied with a sigh.
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