Chapter 3 - A Shift in Seasons

~ Seven cycles of the seasons - 16 Years earlier ~

The warm and rich tones of that late summer sunset lit the mountains on fire. The orange blush stole through the trees and the mauve sky could be seen above. Lia walked with her fingers laced into Odessia’s in a token effort to steady the elderly elf and to comfort herself. She glanced up at her grand aunt in concern, her young amber eyes watching Odessia carefully. On her back was the boiled leather case of the guqin that had been passed down from her grandmother, to her mother and now to her, restored and surrendered to her youthful arms less than an hour earlier. She guided Odessia off the narrow road and onto the familiar path, slowing as the path rose ahead of them. Lia frowned and quickly looked up at Odessia as she coughed lightly. A quiet flicker of blue flames stirred in Lia’s eyes.

“Lia, stop.” Odessia said, looking down at her and shaking her head.

Lia looked downcast, her shoulders slumping and let the fires drop to embers.

“Lia, please.”

She looked up at Odessia, letting go of the thread and allowing the embers to die away.

“You can’t keep doing this. I will accept you easing my path, my beautiful girl. But I will not accept you prolonging it, there is a limit young one. You may approach it, but never… Never go over it. Only death, but not your own resides beyond. Pain, grief and anger will only come of it.”

Odessia looked into Lia’s eyes, holding her hand tightly, “Do not approach that line, promise me.”

“I promise, Dessia.” Lia said, a frown on her features.

“It will take everything from you, as it did from me.” said Odessia as she turned back to the path and started to walk again, “Everything.” she repeated, quietly.

Lia looked up at her as they continued to walk along the narrow path, the lanterns that were set along it flaring to life as they approached. She reached and adjusted the strap over her shoulder.

“Dessia, I am going to play that song, mother’s favourite. I think they would like to hear it.”

Odessia nodded, “Play it for me too.”

Lia nodded quietly, “I promise Dessia.” she said, looking ahead to the gate.

Sneaking a quick look out of the corner of her eye, a slight gleam of blue stirred in the amber as dusk started to settle among the trees. It was almost two years since her parents had been taken from her, a year where the snows came early and chased the tail of a cool Summer. In less than three weeks by the counting of days would mark the loss, forever making the date of her birth a precursor to the death of her parents. Lia smiled slightly as they reached the gate, noting that it was already open. She glanced up at Odessia, hearing the elderly elf hum to herself, the sounds of that song coming from her lips.

They both entered the cemetery, the lanterns around the perimeter flaring in response to Lia’s call. She noticed, but took no heed of the silent people of the village gathered at the far end of the clearing, she knew they were here for her. Settling herself in front of her parent’s headstones, she opened the boiled leather case and lifted out the guqin, resting it on her lap. She gently caressed its black-lacquered body, the surface smooth under her touch. She could feel Odessia at her side, also kneeling. Taking a deep breath, watching the blue glow building in the script on the headstones as dusk deepened, she rested her fingertips on the strings. An almost imperceptible breath of chill air stole around her as she plucked the first note, its string ringing out clearly, almost echoing in the clearing.

She paused for a moment, closing her eyes, feeling the silence in the air. The gooseflesh rising on her arms and on the back of her neck. With the flick of her wrist, she strummed, the strings vibrating, sound bursting forth in a harmonious chord before she let herself be taken by the melody. Her eyes closed, breathing with the notes as they played and frolicked around the cemetery, she smiled, hearing the murmurs of the villagers, the delight they took in her mother’s song. Another breath of chill air, but still she kept her eyes closed. Allowing her fingers to dance over the strings of the guqin, coaxing notes and chords as dusk turned to night. Time seemed to shift as she played, her eyes closed as those notes trembled in the night, the chill breath bringing a shiver to her.

Faint chill fingertips touched her bare arms, feather-light before warming. The smell of moisture and crisp scent of the snows replaced the oppressive warmth and humid undercurrents of a summer night. She frowned but continued to play, trusting her skill and giving herself to the music that was once her mother’s but now hers, allowing memories to flash on the backs of her eyelids as tears slid down her cheeks. A sudden gust of frozen wind stirred the air around her making her shiver, the moist tracks her tears made freezing in the cold, the bite of the air in the back of her throat as she breathed in. Pain started to blossom in the tips of her fingers, sharp and stabbing as every note struck true, a wet slickness muting the strings slightly.

Lia opened her eyes slowly as she looked down, the cold of snow biting at her legs, surrounding her. Still the music played out, the notes falling like a cascade, her fingertips cut and bleeding while they strummed the sharp air. She cried out in shock, pulling her hands back, the silence of the cemetery deafening as she sucked at her fingertips. Blood flowers stained the virgin snow before her. Lia glanced around in confusion, she was alone, her instrument was not in sight. Her breath came in short bursts as panic set in. She slowly turned and looked once again at her parents’ headstone. Except now there was another, smaller and to the side.

Lia stumbled to her feet, blood dripping from her fingers as she stared in confusion. The clouds above cleared way for the moon to shine through. She knelt before the stone, brushing at the snow crusting its lettering, leaving trails of wet crimson.

“Dessia?!” she gasped, staring at the stone.

Lia sat back on her heels and started to cry, her voice coming out as a half-strangled scream. Scrambling to her feet, she ran; the crunch and squeak of snow underfoot as she hurriedly pulled the gate open in the half-light and rushed down the path to the main road. Her breath came in gasps, her heart pounding in her ears as she stood where the path met the road. She turned for home, fear building within her, stealing the breath from her chest.

“No, no…” she said, the denial coming out with her laboured breaths.

It was just her in the silence, the cold chill of the winter wind, the panting of her breath, the crunch of every step and the thunder of her panicked heart in her ears. She could just make out the dark shape of their home ahead, its windows dark and no smoke from a warming fire in the hearth, just the silence of death. Every single movement took an eternity, her steps heavy, each breath a labour to fill her lungs as the deafening silence blanketed the night.

Crashing against the door of the dark house, she fumbled with the handle, surprised as door shifted with barely a touch. Holding her breath, she slid the door further open, leaving crimson trails from her cut fingers, her eyes darting around the darkness, the chill escaping her home feeling colder than the freezing outside air.

“Dessia, Odessia?” she whispered, pushing the door further open.

Stepping inside, she peered through a faint and frosty white mist that hung midway in the room, “Ol’Ma?” her voice quiet and confused.

She walked around the table to find Odessia’s form collapsed against the wall, her body still, unmoving.

“Ma!? Ma!?” Lia screamed out, rushing and sliding to the floor, quickly cradling the old elf, turning her face.

She still breathed. Immediately blue flames sprung to life, limning her arms and hands. Lia’s amber eyes flared and blue fire spilling out as she pressed her hand to Odessia’s chest. Slowly the elder’s eyes opened and met her own.

“Why did you let them die, Lia?”

Lia looked at her in confusion, her eyes wide.

“Why won’t you let me die, Lia?” Odessia said, repeating her words.

Lia shrunk back but still kept her hand pressed to Odessia’s chest.

“Let me die, Lia.”

Lia pulled her hand away hesitantly, a pained expression on her face. She stood and backed away a few steps, fidgeting with her hands before running them through her hair. Her eyes darted into the darkness, trying to find the walls of the room or even a piece of furniture, only to find nothing, just emptiness. Lia stood in silence, the echoes of Odessia’s last words resounding loudly.

“But, I did, just like you asked Dessia.”

Lia looked around the never-ending darkness that surrounded her. The only sound was the heavy heartbeat in her ears.

“I did what you asked, Dessia, I did what you asked.”

Her fists clenched at her sides, her nails biting into her palms.

“I did what you asked of me… I let you die.” she screamed, her voice breaking in the emptiness.

She dropped to her knees, looking at her hands, the fine scars that laced them that weren’t there before, “I did what you asked.” she whispered.

“Do not worry, Lia. Eira will be here soon. In one year she will arrive, and then this will only be a memory.” said a voice that mimicked her own.

Lia swallowed slowly and looked up, azure flames stirring in her eyes. Sitting across from her in the darkness was herself.

She frowned, “It is happening again, is it not?”

Her mimic nodded and shuffled closer, her young eyes looking at her hands. Coming close enough to touch. She looked up and reached out to her and Lia allowed her to take her larger hands in her smaller. Her mimic ran a fingertip over the scars, tracing the lines.

“Why do I leave them?”

Lia looked down at her younger self, “Each was a lesson that was hard earned, youngling.”

The youngling nodded, her amber eyes taking in the changes in her body, “There are many.”

Lia nodded slowly, “The nightmare, this is not how it happened.”

The youngling looked into her eyes, “Maybe this is what you needed to see. Maybe you are blaming yourself again. Death and grief has always followed me, the most important things always seem to slide through my fingers.”

Lia closed her eyes tightly, “It is not like that, youngling. You don’t understand yet.”

“Those words do not change the way you feel inside. The children slipped through your fingers too. Just like our parents did, like Odessia did.” said the youngling before she leaned forward and touched Lia’s chest, “Like he did.”

Lia looked into the youngling’s eyes, those amber depths that she knew too well.

“So you are ‘Doubt’.” Lia stated.

Doubt looked up at her, those eyes boring into hers with intensity. Lia smiled at her, gently reaching out to slide some hair out Doubt’s eye, hooking it behind her ear. Letting her fingertips drift to the girl’s neck.

Doubt kept her eyes on her, a knowing gleam in them, “Lia, you know you don’t want to do this.”

“That’s not my name anymore.” Lia said, letting her hand slip to Doubt’s shoulder.

“Once was, always is, forever will be.” the girl said, her eyes still on Lia’s, “You can’t kill me, Lia.” she said quietly, feeling Lia’s hand shift.

Lia smiled through her glare, sliding her hand and fingers around Doubt’s neck, drawing her close to whisper in the girl’s ear.

“I have no room for you here, stay out of my memories.”

“You can’t…” the girl said before she could speak no more.

Lia clamped her hand around the younger version’s neck and gently laid her on the floor, looking into those defiant eyes as she started to calmly choke the life out of her, “I do not need you here, not now, not ever.”

The youngling started to struggle, grabbing at Lia’s arm, fear in her eyes.

“Leave, stop with the act, it does not work on me.”

Immediately the youngling stopped struggling, a twisted smile on her lips as they turned blue. Lia stared at her in hatred, closing her eyes, feeling her hand close on itself with only emptiness in her grasp. She rocked back onto her heels; involuntary tears coming to her eyes, sliding down her cheeks as she sobbed, hugging her knees as the darkness closed in around her.