《Dungeons Are Bad Business》Volume 2 Chapter 41:

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Knowing that Thien would be back in her shop in two days was great for easing Vee’s worries but awful for helping him figure out what he was going to do about Crestheart’s rewards in the meantime. Similarly, a good night’s rest meant that Vee felt refreshed, but sadly, the [Dungeon Master] hadn’t had any subconscious-assisted epiphanies.

As such, Vee was trying to solve the problem by not thinking about it, instead turning his attention to the small scale model of another room idea for Crestheart. He’d been thinking about miniaturizing his ideas for a while, as he’d found that bringing his sketches to life wasn’t always as easy as he hoped it was. Giving Do something that would fill the space in a similar way to what he envisioned would doubtlessly help make the [Dungeon Maintainer]’s job significantly easier.

Beyond that though, making a model meant he could also “test” his creations, which should make it easier for him to foresee and fix any problems that might crop up once it came time for actual installation. He wasn’t sure that he would have caught anything amiss with his original design for the portal room, but having that extra lever available couldn’t be a bad thing.

The current diorama Vee was working on was a new addition for the obstacle course portion of the dungeon. His idea was simple, but he was confident in it since, like almost all of his best ideas, he’d stolen it from somebody else. It was a large spinning disc with a big rod that would knock adventurers down to the ground below. He’d gotten the idea from a circus he’d visited as a child with his brother, and he figured that the adventurers would enjoy his version too.

Making the wheel was simple enough; all it needed was a few minutes and a single use of [Shape Ectoplasm] to get pulled into the proper shape. The arm was similarly simple. He just pulled some ectoplasm into a rod and rolled it on the desk until it was smooth. Getting the parts together was a little trickier – Vee had to actually think about the way the arm attached to the pillar in the center, and ended up making a simple locking pin to do so – but soon enough the [Ghost Maestro] was looking down at a small replica of what he imagined the wheel to look like.

Scaling it up to “real size” would be a challenge, as he’d probably need some different materials for it than just ectoplasm, but Vee decided that figuring out the details was a problem for his future self. Content, the [Dungeon Master] carried on with his work until he was interrupted by a tight, stringy voice coming from across the lab.

“Whatchya workin’ on, Blue?”

Vee looked up, startled, and saw a man in a green tunic embroidered with silver leaves. He was tall and well-built, and there was laughter in his eyes as he lounged against the far wall.

That didn’t stop Vee from activating [Summon Miasma] and filling the room with some of the noxious gas as fast as he could. He held his breath and directed the miasma toward the stranger, but to his horrified surprise, the man didn’t even flinch when it reached his nostrils.

“I’m afraid that’s not going to work on me,” he said with a laugh. “What you see isn’t really what I am.”

What did that mean? Vee looked behind the man and saw the bow that Rortenferry had brought along on his first visit. Realization hit Vee like a bag of bricks, and he [Banished] the miasma as quickly as he’d summoned it, leaving a tiny puddle of goo on the floor that started evaporating immediately. He let out his breath and shook his head, feeling a little embarrassed.

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“You’re the weaponsoul,” he said sheepishly. “But how did you activate your disguise through the barrier? I thought you were trapped.”

“I am trapped,” the man said with a sneering frown. “My [Projection: Archer] – this form you see before you – can’t physically interact with the world unless it’s holding me. So, even though I can use it to converse with you or wander around this laboratory of yours, I can’t free myself from this wretched prison. Trust me, I’ve tried.”

Vee raised an eyebrow. “Oh really? That’s really something.”

The projection snorted, and an awkward silence descended on the lab, so Vee said, “Well, what do you want?”

“Who says I want anything? Is it a crime to talk to somebody?”

Vee shifted in his seat. “Not usually. However, if you’ve been capable of talking all this time and haven’t done so yet, you must have a reason for striking up this particular conversation. What is it? Can’t you see that I’m busy here.”

The bow’s projection smiled patronizingly, like a pompous teacher dealing with a rowdy student, and Vee felt a flicker of irritation that he pushed down right away. Luna had mentioned that the bow had tried to rile her up before their fight, and Vee wasn’t going to fall for such a trick. He was going to stay cool, calm, and collected.

“Actually, it’s that busyness that interests me, Blue. What exactly are you working on?”

Vee explained his project, and the projection looked suitably impressed, tilting his head to the side and widening his eyes. The longer he looked at it, the surer the [Ghost Maestro] became that this weaponspirit must be old. Having such a strong command of human posture and expression didn’t come quickly. It was time to see how well it’d socialized during that time.

“Since I answered your question, it’s only fair that you now answer one of mine,” Vee said. “What’s your name?”

The projection shrugged. “Depends on who’s got me. Never met a weaponsoul before? We take the names our masters give us, and we don’t complain about it.”

“Well, what’d the bandits call you?”

“Nock.”

“Nock?! That’s an awful name.”

With a shrug, the man stood up and walked over to the table where Vee sat. “Like I said, weaponsouls don’t complain, but between you and me, I agree. It’s probably one of the worst names I’ve ever had. And trust me, I’ve had plenty.”

“Well, if not Nock, what do you want me to call you?”

The projection shook his head. “That’s not how this back and forth thing works, Blue. Besides, it’s pretty rude to ask someone’s name and not introduce yourself too.”

That was a fair point, so Vee told the bow his name and volunteered a little bit more information about Crestheart to keep the conversation moving.

The bow sounded impressed. “A [Dungeon Master] out in Oar’s Crest, huh? Now that’s not what I was expecting. Since you look kind of shifty and mess around with ghosts and spirits, I figured you were some sort of [Mad Scientist], or [Inquisitor], or something like that. I’ve decided that since I don’t technically have a new master yet, you can go ahead and keep calling me Nock for now. Maybe it’s not as bad a name as I thought it was. Anyways, for my next question, I want you to tell me about your [Dungeon Champion]. What’s their deal? Looking for a backup or an understudy, by chance?”

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Vee smirked. “The thought has indeed come up, but I’m not sure we’re taking applications at this time.”

***

Vee talked to Nock until it was time for him to get up to the office and prepare for the first runs of the day. It’d been an interesting, albeit mundane conversation, and he’d left with a promise to return soon for another chat. The weaponsoul seemed lonely, though Vee was definitely wary of the possibility it was just an act hiding nefarious intent. When he visited the bow again, Vee was going to bring Reginald along. After all, the hat was much better at sniffing out malice than he was.

Under his arm, Vee carried his miniature diorama. Distracted from his work by his conversation with Nock, he hadn’t finished it yet, and didn’t want to lose the thread of his thoughts by coming back another time. The zone for creation was really more like a narrow window, and Vee didn’t want to risk it slamming shut before he was done.

When he got up to the office, he carefully set the disc down on the desk and got Reginald’s attention.

“I was thinking about adding this to the third floor somewhere,” Vee said, giving the wheel a spin so that the hat could see it move. A moment later, he spun the arm too. “What do you think?”

Reginald watched a few rotations, then said, “I like the concept, though I think two separate arms with one on the top and the other on the bottom with a gap in the middle would be better than just the big one that you have here. The arms could spin opposite ways, you know?”

Vee looked down at the disc and rubbed his chin. It was a good suggestion. Two arms would definitely keep adventurers on their toes better than one. He rigged up another arm real quick, and while it wasn’t balanced, it’d work for demonstrating the general idea.

Yeah, he liked that quite a bit. Two arms was definitely the way to go. Watching the model gave him some ideas for other things he could add too, like space for ghost arms to pop out and push adventurers off or little slits to activate [Icy Mist] crystals through. The [Dungeon Master] smiled; he had a good feeling about what he was affectionately calling “the wheel”. There’d been a bunch of other fun activities at those old circuses that he could riff on too. Like spinning logs in water, dunk tanks, and all sorts of options he could adapt to Crestheart with a bit of time and ingenuity.

For now though, it was time to buckle down and get to work running the dungeon, as the day’s first adventurer – a Level 18 [Elemental Fencer] – walked into Crestheart. Oddly, instead of the blade Vee expected to see, the man carried a pair of metal poles over his shoulder. When the first ghosts threw themselves at him, he slammed the poles into the ground and shouted. A fence of flames manifested in the air before him and the ghosts were burned to a crisp as soon as they tried to pass through. Then, as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened, the man dismissed his fence, picked up his poles, and continued on.

Vee blinked several times to make sure that his eyes weren’t playing some sort of elaborate joke on him, then looked down at the man’s application on the off chance that he simply hadn’t read it properly the first time. Nope, it very clearly said “[Elemental Fencer]” right there in black ink.

“Uh…isn’t he supposed to have a sword of some sort?” the [Dungeon Master] asked as another fiery barrier turned a trio of frost elementals into puddles and steam. “I could have sworn we had an [Elemental Fencer] a while back and she definitely had a sword.”

“Probably, but he seems to be doing just fine without one.”

“But how can he be an [Elemental Fencer] if he’s not a swordsman?”

“Sometimes people just misunderstand what words mean.”

Watching the adventurer…“fence” his way through the dungeon, Vee was reminded of an old quote from Jakz Worldbreaker, a famous [Gladiator Grandmaster] who’d put down his trademark lantern mace to teach fitness in his later years: Anything can be a REAL weapon if the will to kill is strong enough.

Truer words might never have been spoken, Vee thought as the adventurer down in Crestheart created a pen around a group of slimes. Slowly, the pen grew smaller and smaller until the slimes had nowhere to go and where crushed.

Seeing his minions destroyed so cruelly bothered Vee, so reaching down, the [Dungeon Master] twisted one of the dials on his desk, and activated an [Ice Cage] trap.

[Devious Mind +1]

Reciprocation felt oddly satisfying, he thought, and Vee found it kind of fun to watch the man fail to break through the bars. Pressing another button, Vee activated an [Ice Vent] trap and soon the man’s frantic swings of his fenceposts slowed until he admitted defeat.

Freeing the [Elemental Fencer] with a press of the room reset button, Vee disabled the rest of his traps and waited for the next adventurer to enter the dungeon. Much like building his diorama, the [Dungeon Master] found his mind going comfortably blank as he did so, and he nudged his thoughts back to the rewards for successful adventurers.

A kernel of an idea was there waiting for him. What if, instead of material goods and rewards, Crestheart offered intangible experiences of some sort?

Now that was an idea, but Vee still needed to come up with the specifics, and he was still empty in that regard. Hopefully he’d come up with something soon.

Rubbing his chin, the [Dungeon Master] looked down at the day’s next challenger. Bo Dandy, a level 16 [Lumberjack]. Since he recognized the man’s name, Vee went ahead and activated [Boost Drops] too. As he remembered, the bearded adventurer had a bit of a temper and liked to fight every last minion in each room.

It took a moment to shuffle the skeletons and ghosts around to ensure that the marked minions would be destroyed first, but Vee didn’t mind. His hands whizzed and flew across the dials; was getting faster and faster at manipulating the dungeon. Heck, he didn’t even really need to consult the labels above his dials and knobs anymore, and when he wanted to activate a specific trap or hazard, he instinctively knew where to reach.

Eventually, the dungeon would grow again and he’d have to relearn things, but for now, Vee truly felt like he was in command of Crestheart.

There was a knock at the door, and when Vee said to come on in, Brice Gilbert the [Toymaker] walked inside.

He was carrying two statues of Alforde. The first was a lovely wooden piece that Vee could see had been carefully constructed, but the second one was truly what caught his eye.

“Got a minute? I've got some stuff I want you to see,” Brice said with a grin as he lifted both of them up.

Main Character Sheets:

Main Character Sheets

Vee Vales

Primary Class: Ghost Maestro (Locksmagister University), Level 29

Secondary Class: Dungeon Master (Oar’s Crest), Level 20

Tertiary Class: Guy-Who-Takes-Things-WAY-Too-Far (Self), Level 5

Might: 13

Wit: 32

Faith: 21

Adventurousness: 7

Ambition: 14

Plotting: 19

Charisma: 14

Devious Mind: 23 (+1)

Leadership: 17

Guts: 14

Intimidating Presence: 10

Citizenship: 20

Public Relations: 5

Determination: 2

Persuasiveness: 1

Alforde Armorsoul:

Primary Class: Hammer Afficionado (Self), Level 22

Secondary Class: Right-hand man (Vee Vales), Level 14

Tertiary Class: Dungeon Champion (Oar’s Crest), Level 14

Additional Class: Glaciernaut (Sacha Silverblade), Level 5

Might: 41

Wit: 12

Faith: 28

Adventurousness (Bound – Vee Vales): 8

Endurance: 20

Intimidating Presence: 12

Heart of a Champion: 8

Citizenship (Bound – Vee Vales): 8

Vigilance: 6

Vanity: 2

Reginald:

Primary Class: Core Spirit (Unknown), Level ???

--~%@(%[email protected] &% (*$ #&#e !i$$ (#$%#$%#[email protected]!)~--, #[email protected]& ????

Secondary Class: Loudmouth (Self), Level 38

Tertiary Class: Majordomo (Vee Vales), Level 15

Additional Class: Announcer (Vee Vales), Level 8

Might: 1

Wit: 33

Faith: 14

Ambition: 27

Greed: 22

Deceptiveness: 27

Manipulativeness: 37

$#&*[email protected]!!

Loyalty: 46

Patience: 8

[#&%%%@%!#@__--#%]

[email protected]#!! @#[email protected][email protected]#

@#[email protected]%%^

Citizenship (Bound – Vee Vales): 7

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