The Paranormal club are lounging around in their clubroom a day after their decisive win against the Yosakoi club. Akina, arriving late from training, sees her clubmates sitting around doing nothing.

“Are you really going to laze away like this all day?” Akina asks.

Saito turns his head towards Akina, careful not to disturb Yuuri gently resting on his shoulder. “It’s Sunday, we just had a competition. We earned a rest.”

“What do you mean ‘we’”? Rina glares at him. “You didn’t even take part in it.”

“I was cheering you on from the bench.” Saito says, with a yawn.

Rina scoffs. “You barely moved!”

Saito taps his temple. “With my mind, obviously. And we won, obviously. And since it worked, obviously I should share the glory.”

Rina rolls her eyes. “Seriously?”

Saito pauses for effect and smirks. “Obviously.”

Saito earns some quiet giggles for that one.

“The country is in trouble if all the youth of today are feckless layabouts like you.” Akina says, crossing her arms.

“You’re “youth” too, grandma,” Cerys scoffs. “So you’re as much a part of the downfall as us. Besides, you didn’t take your usual run this morning.”

“We’re superheroes, but we ain’t gotta be on th’ full throttle every minute” Suzaka says enthusiastically. “We can be takin’ breaks now an’ again too.”

Rina tosses a pillow in Suzaka’s face. “Justice never rests, ya dork!” Rina says, a playful smile on her face.

“I don’t see the problem, Akina. Today is the Sabbath, the day the Lord gifted us for resting our weary minds and bodies. Let us give thanks by lounging in His fashion in front of the television.” Kirie says, popping a grape into her mouth.

Hotaru sets his book down on the table and turns in his chair to the others “It seems you all have forgotten, but we do have plans for today. At 6:30 we’ll be meeting Roka for a dinner reward, remember?”

The entire room looks down at their phones in response to this revelation.

Yuuri picks her head up off of Saito’s shoulder. “W-Wait, what time did you say it was?”

“It’s at 6:30. In three and a half hours.” Hotaru responds naturally.

Yuuri shoots up to her feet. “W-We only have three and a half hours to get ready!? And with twelve people and three bathrooms?”

“I’ll change first!” Kirika jumps up, already halfway to her room. “I have the most need to get ready by myself!” She rushes into her room, slamming the door behind her.

Rina and Suzaka jump at the sound and bolt to their rooms.

“Wait, we got stuff in there too!” Rina yells

Suzaka knocks on the door to no avail. “Let us in! We also gots ta get ready!”

Kirika calls back through the room in a condescending tone. “It’s not like as if you two have any need to ‘get dressed’, I’m sure it doesn’t take that long to throw on jeans and a graphic tee. Some of us have carefully tailored outfits to prepare.”

Yuuri walks up to the door, brushing the other two aside. “Kirika,” she says gently, “if you do not let us in, I will not speak to you for a week.” The three hear a squeak from behind the door before the lock clicks and the door creaks enough for them to enter.

Watching the scene unfold, Yuudai jumps up to go to his own room, but then stops. “Hey, Katsuki, wanna go get ready first? We can wait for you to get done.”

Katsuki nods and heads towards the room. “I probably should, since it’ll take me the longest. I’ll make sure you guys have enough time, don’t worry.” She tells them, before closing the door.

The four remaining girls look around. “Well. Nothin’ stoppin us from goin’ an all gettin’ ready, is there?” Mari says. Akina and Cerys shrug while Kirie rises from her own seat.

“That sounds most efficient, Mari,” Kirie says, pumping her arm up. “Let us head in!” The four move into the last dorm room, ruffling through their clothes after sealing the door shut.

***

“Hey, Mari, how fancy is this dinner? Do we gotta go clothes shopping to get Akina a suit?” Cerys ribs as she opens her drawer.

“I’ll have you know I have an outfit for any fanciful occasion,” Akina says, pulling out a box from under her bed. “And I have no problem being the lady of the evening.”

“Phrasin’, Akki.” Mari says, as she steps behind a standing shade holding a bundle of clothes. She strips down to change. “An’ Ah don’t think it’s all that fancy, Cer-bear. It’s Lolidean throwin’ it, so it might jus’ be a pizza party.”

Akina steps out of her training clothes and rolls out an elaborate yukata on the bed. “Then I’ll be the queen amongst peasants.”

“Kiricchi’d raise hell if’n she heard ya call ‘er a peasant, she’ll blow ‘er whole budget on fancy clothes.”

Kirie tilts her head quizzically. “Why would I spend so much on frivolous things, Maririn? It’s easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of Heaven”

“Ah’m talkin’ about Kirika,” Mari says. “Y’all’d be a Kiriecchi or somethin’ like that.”

“Wouldn’t it be too late to get more clothes?” Kirie asks.

Mari grunts as she struggles with a change of bra. “Ya’ll’d be surprised at how fast money can move.”

Cerys digs through her drawer a bit more, smiling as she finally finds her favorite set of clothes. “If you’re trying to be too fancy, you’re just going to look like an idiot.” She grins at Akina. “Keep it simple, stupid.”

“Maybe if you kept up your appearance you could appear less… flat.” Akina retorts. She takes the sash of her yukata in both of her hands, looks at Kirie, and gestures to the sash in her hands with a grunt. Kirie throws her own shirt on then assists Akina with the sash, gently tying it tight.

Cerys rolls her eyes and slips her jeans on. “You got her trained quick, Akina.”

Mari emerges from behind her screen wearing a low cut long dress with a cross-halter. “Hey, y’all don’t think this is too…” She gestures to herself. “Much, right?” She asks nobody in general.

“Nice tits, though I don’t know why you stepped behind that screen if you wanted us to see the whole tit anyway.” Cerys says.

“Are you trying to become arm candy for the head of a family?” Akina adds.

“Wha-? Y-Y’all didn’t see n-nothin’!” Mari frets. She jumps back behind the screen and tosses her outfit aside like it’s on fire.

“I don’t see what’s wrong with what Mari had.” Kirie says as she helps Akina tie her hair up into a bun. “Do not be ashamed of the body God gave you”

“Shutuuuuup!” Mari yells, stepping back out in a more modest track jacket and yoga pants. “A-anyway... we ready?” The group soon join with the others in the main room, who are already prepared to leave.

“Wow, ya look super amazin’ ‘Kina!” Suzaka says.

Yuuri and Rina re-enter in a nice dress and suit respectively. One of them a bit more satisfied with their appearance over the other.

“Who’s tha new guy?” Mari asks.

“Shut up!” Rina snaps as she fiddles with her cuffs, “I don’t keep fancy clothes so all I had was this old cosplay.”

Mari pumps a fist and mumbles “Ah ain’t tha biggest nerd here fer once!”

A sharp rap is at the door. Yuudai steps over to open it, only to find a disgruntled Lucy. “Hello, Paranormal Club. It’s almost time for dinner. Are you all prepared?”

“Who pissed in your Cheerios?” Cerys asks.

“Yeah, we’re actually just finishing up!” Yuudai says with a confident smile.

“I didn’t expect it to take two whole hours for everyone to get ready…” Hotaru says.

“Haven’t you been around girls getting ready for a party before, Hotaru?” Saito asks.

Hotaru shakes his head. “I’m an only child, and I mostly spent time with my grandfather and my uncle, so I haven’t had much exposure to such things, no.”

“Regardless. It’s time to go. This is your reward dinner for helping us solve that attempted murder. It wouldn’t do to have you be late.” Lucy looks across the group. “Aren’t you all a bit overdressed?”

“Only the finest jeans for the finest dinners,” Cerys says with a mock-curtsy.

Mari grunts. “...Ah’m wearin’ a track suit.”

“One should wear their best at times like these,” Akina replies with a small smirk.

Lucy shrugs, “Very well, it matters not.. We must get going.”

***

The group takes a moment to marvel at the converted gymnasium. No longer an everyday gym, it now has the appearance of a refined dining area. The center of the gym has been decked out with a long and fancy table, dressed with silver platters and candles. Roka sitting at the head of the table.

“Wow, this place’s lookin’ all kindsa fancy!” Suzaka says wide-eyed

“Wonder how long it took to get it looking like this?” Yuudai adds on.

“Finally, I’m being treated like I deserve.” Kirika say, chest puffed up with pride. She skips directly to the seat next to Roka, sliding into it quickly. “Glad to see those running my school show good taste.”

Roka crosses her arms wearing a smug smile. “And I’m glad that someone would recognize my brilliant decorating genius!”

“Yew decorated this all on yer own?” Mari asks.

“Of course not! I told Lucy to do it!” She emphasizes her speech with a strong exhale. “But I drew all the plans for her, so it is essentially my work!”

“I totally get you!” Kirika exclaims. “It is the personal touch of a refined hand that really brings it together. Anyone can move tables, but it takes a keen eye to create the right ambience.”

The two beam as the rest of the group looks on, a slight dejection washing over them. “I feel like this dinner’s already going poorly. Can we just order takeaway and go back to the dorms?” Cerys asks.

Lucy adjusts her glasses. “That would cost you points, Ms. Alcott. Rejecting the Dean’s kindness carries a major penalty.”

“Damn, that’s rough.” Rina sighs.

“One more word like that out of you, Ms. Warren, and there will be consequences.” Lucy says, adjusting her glasses once more.

“I guess the only swearing we should be doing is... Swearing to enjoy this awesome dinner!” Yuudai says. “Right guys?”

The rest of the group groans as they all take their seats.

Mari chops Yuudai on the shoulder as she passes him. “Gotta work on yer delivery, Sluggah.”

“Can we penalize him for that?” Cerys says. “Someone needs to teach him shite jokes have consequences.”

“Penalties for bad puns unfortunately were vetoed for this year’s rulesheet.” Lucy says.

“Mom was for it, but dad told her that high schoolers needed to be taught them at a higher level for the future!” Roka says.

“So your mom and dad make the rules? I thought you were the head dean?” Yuuri asks.

“And you seriously had to reflect on the importance of quips?” Saito tacks on.

“We do it as a family!” Roka says. “But they won’t let me make Fridays ‘Ice Cream days…’” She slumps in her seat

“Yes, Ma’am, but they did relent on the Mashup Matches.” Lucy says.

“But that isn’t ice cream!” Roka says before realizing everyone was looking at her. She clears her throat, then resumes speaking. “But yes, all three of us get to make the rules.”

“Wait. If they’re the ones who make the rules, why are you the only one we see?” Akina asks.

“Daddy said it’s so I can train in being the head of a large group of people,” Roka says. “I’m going to take over for him when he gets tired again!”

“So he’s just running this school as business training for his kid daughter?” Rina says. “Makes it seem like you don’t care about actually teaching us!”

Lucy shoots Rina a glance. “We are fully accredited by the prefecture and rigorously tested by the leading school authorities to ensure we give a complete education and fulfilling school life to each and every student. All faculty have been fully vetted and our staff uphold only the highest standards.” She says as if rehearsed

“That include letting them almost get murdered?” Cerys says.

“Almost doesn’t count,” Roka interjects happily, “And that’s good enough for a celebration!”

“Celebrating with only a dinner? I thought heroes got parades and banners. This is all we get? It’s a bit of a rip off.” Saito says.

“Just because it’s something besides ramen doesn’t mean it’s bad, Saito!” Kirika says. “To be invited to dine by a noble is considered a major honor in many cultures.”

“Eh, I’ve seen enough rich people’s parties to know I don’t care to be invited to them.” Saito replies. “Let’s just get this over with.”

A familiar pink haired girl walks up behind one side of the table wearing a long-skirted maid uniform. The skirt runs straight down, with the only frills being the apron straps that circle her shoulders. A maid headdress adorns her head, as does a white bow collar around her neck, completing the uniform.

“Oh, Ranmaru! You’re helping out for this?” Yuuri says.

Ranmaru nods. “Yeah, lil’ Miss Roka asked us to. Said she’d give us extra points for it. Plus…” She waves her hands down her outfit. “It gave us a chance to try out some new fits.”

“Any good dinner service has to have top tier help!” Roka says. “And I knew I could count on the Fashion Club!” She says with a smile.

“It ain’t every day ya get ta be treated like this.” Ranmaru says.

“Perhaps I could hire them for my own parties~” Kirika adds.

“Nuh-uh. This is a one time thing, Miss High Class.” Hiroko says, walking up besides Ranmaru. He’s in a three-piece tuxedo, punctuated with a pitch-black tie tucked into the vest.

“Aww, but y’all look great in those outfits!” Mari says with a smile. “Surely ya don’t wanna just use ‘em once?”

“I’m perfectly fine with only doing this once.” Hiroko says, before straightening up his posture. “Now, what would you like, guests?”

Suzaka rests her elbows on the table with a thump. “How can w’ order if we ain’t got no menus?” she asks.

“Actually, this is a set meal. You’re all having American-style barbecue.“ Lucy says.

Rina smiles. “I’ve been getting homesick for good ol’ fashioned home cooking.”

“But home cookin’s curry an’ meat an’ potato stew an’ stuff,” Mari says, confused.

“American home cooking,” Rina says.

Saito feels his phone buzz. He takes it out to check and clicks his tongue,“I apologize, but I think I’ll have to skip the meal. Something’s come up.” He turns to leave in a hurry, leaving Yuuri frozen as she tries to call out to ask what’s wrong.

The table chatter ceases as everyone stares in the direction Saito left in.

Hiroko breaks the silence. “Well, your meals will be out…” He sniffs the air. “In about ten minutes. I pray your other friend returns before the food gets cold.”

Ranmaru raps Hiroko on the back of the head. “Don’t get fresh with tha customers.” She leads him back to the kitchen.

“So it ain’t jus’ me who times their cookin’ with smell,” Mari says to herself.

Roka crosses her arms and huffs. “What a meanie! Just storming off in the middle of my gracious reward! He must be some kind of delinquent…”

“Don’t take it personally, Roka.” Kirika says. “He is always like this. He’s cold to everybody.”

Yuuri frowns towards Kirika “You judge him too harshly. He has his warm moments.”

“This isn’t a romance novel and he isn’t Lord Byron!” Kirika snaps back.”He abandons you whenever he pleases, doesn’t explain himself, can’t even enjoy a nice dinner! Sometimes a cad is a cad is a cad!

Yuuri narrows her eyes. “Who I choose to date is none of your business,” she says slowly, coldly. “I’d thank you not to talk that way about my boyfriend.”

“It is my business beca-”

Rina holds up her hand, cutting Kirika off. “Everyone, shut up. It is time for MEAT.”

The fashion club re-emerges carrying several platters of various barbecued meats and vegetables. They set them on the table in front of the club, who are mostly taken aback with the mounds of food in front of them.

Kirika wrinkles her nose in distaste. “‘American’ food is not haute cuisine.”

“Sounds like ya just hate cuisine,” Suzaka says to Kirika, as she reaches out to grab some of the meat.

“Ya can’t eat before th’ chef introduces herself,” Ranmaru chides, holding the plate away from Suzaka. “Ain’t good manners fer somethin’ fancy-like.”

Suzaka ignores Ranmaru and stretches her mechanical arm across the table. With a whirr of effort, it lunges over the edge of the table and snatches the plate away. Suzaka giggles as she reels in her prize, only to feel her like her arm’s caught in a vise. She looks up and is caught in a staredown with the chef, a sneering girl roughly the same age as her, with her hair pulled back under a Chef’s hat,

“The fuck you think you’re doing manhandling my meat?” The familiar chef asks, cigarette dangling from her lips.

Lucy sighs, “Language...and I thought we specified no smoking indoors, Ms. Asuka.”

“My makeshift restaurant, my rules.” the now addressed Ms. Asuka responds.

Yuuri’s looks at the chef and stands in shock, “M-Mayumi!”

Mayumi, the chef, crosses her arms and smiles, “The one and only, Pussycat.”

Kirika jumps up and down in excitement. “Senpai!”

Yuudai groans and mumbles, “Joy...she’s here.”

Mayumi cocks her head to the side and stares down Yuudai, “You got something you wanna share, Gachi?”

Yuudai opens his mouth to respond but instead grumbles under his breath and looks at the table.

Kirie looks between Mayumi and Yuuri, “So you know this famous chef, Yuuri?”

Yuuri snaps back to reality, “Oh right! Mayumi was part of the original Paranormal Club at our previous school!”

“Oh, and she did not qualify for our prestigious academia?” Kirie asks.

Mayumi points a thumb to herself, “More like this bad bitch had to set her sights on a whole other country!”

“Man, how come you didn’t call us or text us or anything,” Yuudai says. “We were worried about you. Too busy being famous to think about your friends?”

Mayumi gives him a cheeky grin. “Wanted to be with my real daddy instead of having to call you daddy, Gachi.”

Yuudai turns beet red, gets up and storms out. “I’m not dealing with this junk today…”

Yuuri lets the awkward moment pass in silence. “Anyway…” Yuuri reads the room and speaks up, “Have a seat with us Mayumi, we can talk while we eat!”

“Fuck it.” Mayumi exhales some silvery cigarette smoke. Suzaka’s arm snaps back like a tape measure, the invisible force keeping it held releasing all at once. “I got time to kill. Just make sure Edgelord down there doesn’t try to kill me.”

Akina keeps her head down, ignoring Mayumi.

After a short delay, the Fashion Club set the various dishes Mayumi has prepared.

Suzaka takes a bite of her stolen food, “Hey… This is some good cookin’ M’yumi!”

Rina steals a piece off Suzaka’s plate. “Wait, let me try!”

“No mine!” Suzaka tries to fight back.

Hotaru ignores the squabble, “I can see why you’re world renowned now.”

“Glad you’re enjoying it Halfpint.” Mayumi says.

“So...How have things been?” Yuuri asks.

“Pretty good.” Mayumi puts out her cigarette on what was Saito’s plate, “Just did a big publicity stunt where I went into rehab so I’m officially ‘clean;’” She emphasizes her point with air quotes.

“That’s...good?” Katsuki asks.

“Besides, no actual rehab could fix you.” Cerys snarks.

“Oh? Did she not qualify for a prestigious rehabilitation center?” Kirie asks.

Mayumi gives Kirie a brief puzzled look before continuing. “Just so you know, I’m down to my smokes, that I can buy myself, and my medicine!” Mayumi fires in return, “Doc said I have ADHD which lead to my,” she deepens her voice to mimic the doctor, “‘Poor impulse control’.”

“Oh yeah you’re 18 now aren’t you?” Cerys follows up.

“Legal baby!” Mayumi puffs out her chest as she surveys the table, “Hey, where’s fuckboy?”

“Yuuri’s boyfriend? He has a bad habit of vanishing on us lately.” Cerys leans back in her chair, a large smile on her face as she looks over to Yuuri.

“Real shit?” Mayumi looks over to Yuuri, “You let him pet your pussy?”

“P-P-P-P-” Yuuri’s face heats up, “T-There’s been no petting going down! And I’m not a pussy!”

Cerys relaxes in her chair, laughing as the scene unfolds.

“We’re not even allowed pets here!” Kirie chimes in once more.

Mayumi’s eyes grow wider, “Pet play, huh? I didn’t know you were into that, Pussycat.”

“Neither did Ah!” Mari joins in, “What other secrets have ya been keepin’ Chief?”

“What secrets!?” Yuuri’s voice gets shrill, “I haven’t kept any secrets from you guys!”

“Of course they’re not keeping those kinds of secrets,” Kirika crosses her arms, “He’s far too lazy for that!”

Yuuri bangs her fist on the table, a frosty smile on her face. “Kirika, would you please shut up?”

The gym quiets down in response, Yuuri’s voice just loud enough to turn heads.

Cerys stops laughing and leans in, beaming. “Say it again.”

Yuuri gets up from the table, excuses herself, and quickly exits the ‘restaurant’, all eyes focused on her. Shamefaced, Kirika also stands up and gives a quick bow.

“My apologies, I seemed to have made a scene.” She bows again and hastily leaves.

“And there goes another one… And another one.” Hiroko mutters.

“Hey, more food for me then!” Rina says, grabbing more food from the center.

Mayumi tries to retain the easy going vibes of the party, “You from Texas there, BBQ?”

Rina stops, “Me? Nah, I’m from California.”

Mayumi raises an eyebrow, “Fuck you doing over here and not in DDub?”

“D-what now?”

“Duke Wilson’s.” Mayumi corrects herself. “What, they turn you down or something?”

Kirie leans over, “Oh? Did you not qualify for their prest–”

“No!” Rina retorts, cutting the airheaded girl off, “I left America years ago so I had to settle for this Japanese… knockoff.”

“Hey!” Roka jumps up and points, “This school was first! They’re the knockoffs! Learn some history! Read some books!”

Lucy calmly gets Roka to sit back down, “Pay no attention to Ms. Warren.”

“Duke…Wilson…” Katsuki struggles to repeat what Mayumi said, “Is that where you are now?”

Mayumi lights another cigarette, “Yeah. It’s like this school but it’s in the middle of fucking nowhere. Pretty sure they used to drop nukes there or something.”

“That sounds...unethical.” Hotaru says.

“Don’t sweat it, we haven’t started glowing yet.” Mayumi snickers. “Besides, that’s how they made capes back in the 50s.”

“I don’t think that’s right…” Hotaru says.

“Are you in a club there too?” Katuski asks Mayumi.

Mayumi smiles. “Yeah they got a cooking club there. Good people there too like Hamhands, Woody, and Badtouch if she decides to talk that day. Nico’s a pain in the ass, we can’t let Sparky use the knives anymore...but yeah I love the shit out of them.”

“Wow…” Suzaka thinks out loud, “‘Merrican names are weird.”

“That’s ‘cause they’re nicknames.” Mayumi laughs, “Not like you assholes’ll ever meet ‘em.”

Suzaka frets. “Wha– They don’t wanna meet me?! Wha’d I do to them?”

Mayumi gives Suzaka the side eye, shakes her head, and continues talking to everyone else. “It’s nice actually being in a club that does what they’re named after, though.”

“Hey, we did do paranormal stuff! It just happened after you left!” Katsuki says with a huff.

“Suuure ya did, Red. I bet you took out a forty foot marshmallow man, too.” She laughs. “What about this year? See any tsuchinoko since school started?”

“We fought demons,” Mari mumbles, staring into space.

“Actually, we do have a few paranormal mysteries of our own here.” Ranmaru speaks up. “These paranormal club members were actually going to help me investigate them tomorrow.”

“W-W-Wai’, we are!?” Suzaka almost jumps from her seat.

Katsuki juts her chest and her chin out with pride. “Yes! Tomorrow, after class, We’re! Investigating! The paranormal!” She jabs her finger in Mayumi’s face for emphasis.

“But th’ could be ghos’s! An’ ya know I can’t handl’ all tha’ kinda thing!” Suzaka protests

Mari puts on a playful smile “We were hopin’ y’all would be in a food coma afore we had ta tell ya.”

“But… now I feel like I ain’t gonna keep th’ dinner down…”

“We’re going as a team, Suzaka. You’ll be fine, and besides it’s only an investigation.” Katsuki replies in a tone the new members haven’t heard before.

Suzaka gulps but puts on a wobbly smile “R-Righ’, jus’ investigating!”

“That’s the spirit!” Katsuki says as she gets up from her seat. “It’s been fun Mayumi, but we should probably go check on our runaway club members. We need to let them know too!”

“Dine and dashing on me, Red?” Mayumi teases, “You that eager to go back to a pissed off Gachi and whatever the fuck Pussycat might be doing to Fuckboy?”

Katsuki sighs, “Making sure they’re alright is more important right now.”

“Get your slag ass back here soon, Mayumi.” Cerys says, grinning like a madwoman. “I forgot how fun it was hanging out with you.”

Mayumi smirks, “I will if your midget ass brings the Mahjong board, Lolibitch. I want my goddamn runback.”

Kirie gasps. “Don’t take His name in vain.”

Mayumi gives her one last puzzled look, then looks back to Katsuki. “Where did you find these assholes?”

“Don’t worry about it,” Katsuki says. She turns to bow to Roka, Lucy, and the Fashion Club, “Thank you all for this dinner! I’m sorry we couldn’t stay longer. As you can see, some…” She makes a sweeping gesture. “Stuff came up.”

Roka puts her hands to her hips and nods, “No worries! Club relationships are super duper important! And you still ate plenty! Except Naoyuki, I should punish him!”

Lucy sighs, “Punishing someone for not eating complimentary food isn’t very proper, Miss Kurosaki.”

Roka scrunches up her face. “Nghh!”

Katsuki laughs, “I’ll let him know you sent your warning to him for not finishing his food. But we’ll be on our way now! Thank you again!”

Katsuki motions to the club to follow. Cerys flips off Mayumi as she exits. The blonde takes a drag and returns the gesture with a smile as the door closes on this eventful dinner.