Dear Spellbook,

Oh, how writing that fills me with contentment. Dear Spellbook, Dear Spellbook, Dear Spellbook.

I'm a little ashamed to admit this, but... while we were apart, on the hard days when I was near the end of my rope, I'd write in that fake spellbook and pretend, for just a little while, that everything was how it once was.

But that’s over now. Today I woke up without a hangover. I have a nasty crick in my neck from the tiny bed, but no hangover. I want to tell you about everything that’s happening now, but it wouldn’t make any sense to you without me telling you about the interim.

Riloth the 19th the 30th - 32nd

Filled with purpose and hope once more, I rushed my routine and set out through the woods to retrace my steps. It was difficult to repeat them correctly without you for a reference. Distressed from the encounter with Tilavo, I had been aimlessly wandering through the woods that first day. Taking a more methodical approach, I broke the forest into a grid on a map, and cleared it one area at a time. It was difficult without a Nlessing or spell to track heading, but I'm fairly certain I was holding to my areas, Occasionally, I took breaks to check your avatar in my vault, but the faintness never lessened. I repeated this for two more days before finally catching a break.

On the third day of my search grid, while walking through the woods with eyes scanning my surroundings for landmarks, I heard a noise that sent chills down my spine. Behind me, came the loud crack of a stick breaking. I froze, and once still, could hear the heavy breathing of a large animal. Activating Mage Armor, I slowly turned around to see a massive dark figure towering over me. I cast Blink out of instinct and terror, sending me far back as I could manage. I was already readying a Firebolt when I heard the most unexpected sound.

In a deep voice, that didn’t seem fully capable of forming the sounds, I heard, "Oh wait, come bawk! I wath just pwayin wiff you!"

I stood dumbfounded, now far enough away to see the figure for what it really was, a nine-foot tall bear on its hind legs. My Firebolt dissolved into nothing before it even fully manifested. Spellbook, you might not know anything about bears, but outside of children’s tales, they don’t generally talk.

Unsure of how to proceed, I lifted a hand and gave an uncertain wave, and shouted back, "Umm. Hi there. Please stay over there and explain yourself."

The bear waved back.

Struggling to speak through its bear mouth, it said "Awright, thath fair. One thecond." The bear started to shrink, its hair disappearing and its limbs shrinking until they revealed a halfling—a very naked and dirty halfling—about two feet tall.

"That’s better. It’s always so difficult to talk like that! Sorry to scare you. I was just having a bit of fun. It gets lonely out here at times, and animals aren’t always the best conversationalist. Ravens are okay, but they always have an angle. Do you mind if I come closer now? I smelled the salmon in your bag there, and I couldn’t resist." Without waiting for permission, the still very naked halfling began to walk toward me.

"I’m Perfon, what’s your name?"

Nothing in my life had prepared me for this. A bear in the forest or a naked halfling, I could handle; combine the two into a very short period, and my brain gave up.

"Uhh, hi. I’m Tal." I replied, giving my real name without any thought.

"Nice to meet you, Tal! How about we share that salmon in your bag, and I share some of my,"—he paused and mimed patting his pockets—"hmm, I seemed to have left my pockets somewhere, oh I know."

At this point, he was very close to me, and he walked up to a nearby bush. Sticking his head among its branches, he whispered something I couldn’t make out to the leaves and then stepped back with his hands out towards the plant. Two branches extended down towards him of their own accord. Tiny buds appeared and grew into massive purple berries—each the size of an apple—into his outstretched hands.

Handing one to me, he said happily, "I have no idea what these will taste like; it’s always a surprise, but they are usually pleasant. I’ll trade this for some of your salmon. Being a bear gives you certain cravings, you see."

My nerves and befuddled mind starting to settle, I accepted the proffered berry and took a bite. It was delicious; it tasted like no berry I’d ever had. The closest thing I can compare it to is a sour banana, but with enough sweetness to be enjoyable.

Pulling my lunch and a blanket out of my bag, I offered both to him and said, "You look a little… cold."

He looked down at his exposed genitals and broke into hysterical laughter, "Oh, haha, that’s not ‘cause of the cold."

He grabbed the blanket, and wrapped it all around himself in a practiced manner, forming a sort of wrap-around robe.

As if reading my mind he said, "When you wind up naked in the forest as often as I do, you learn how to make do."

He took the offered food as well, and together we sat down and had a very strange lunch.

He spent the majority of the meal asking me about my favorite types of perennial woody plants. Not having strong opinions on bushes, I let him carry the conversation. I won't recount it all here but as nonsensical as the encounter was, I really needed it. By that point, I’d not had a conversation in weeks that hadn’t been a transaction, let alone with someone as interesting as Perfon. Eventually, the conversation stalled.

"If you don’t mind me asking, why are you out here?" I asked, gesturing all-around at the surrounding forest.

"Well, where else would you expect to encounter a talking bear?" he answered jokingly, but then continued more seriously, "I get your meaning. I was part of a trade caravan for my family that got ambushed by bandits. Left for dead, I was found by Assuine’s worshipers. After I’d recovered, they never asked me to leave, and I found the life of a servant of Assuine much more agreeable to that of a merchant. More naps, fewer ulcers. Eventually, Assuine saw fit to grant me her Greater Blessing. Once I received it, I felt it was time to go explore more of her wonders." There were so many questions I wanted to ask, but before I could, he asked me the same question, gesture and all, but with an added grin, "So, if you don’t mind me asking, why are you out here?"

I answered simply, and honestly, "I’m looking for a door."

"Oh, that thing, I can show you where it is. Follow me!" And just like that, he was off.

Could it be this easy? After days of searching, am I going to be directed to this door by this strange naked halfling in a blanket? Is he still naked if he’s in a blanket?

Scrambling to catch up, I followed his small frame through the forest. The branches parted before him as he ran, just like Roland. His passage didn’t produce the faintest noise, unless he carelessly stepped on a stick. I, on the other hand, had to reactivate Mage Armor to keep the taller branches from striking my face, as I struggled to keep up with his supernatural pace.

After a few minutes, we found a comfortable pace, and we were able to talk once more.

"Would you mind telling me exactly how Assuine’s Greater Blessing works? I’ve read about it, but it was all very inconsistent," I asked between ducking under larger branches to preserve my Will.

What followed was a very roundabout discussion I will not recount here, but he did answer all my questions and I left it with a fair understanding of how the Greater Blessing of Assuine functioned.

Assuine grants her Greater Blessing to those she deems most worthy of her trust. Those with the Greater Blessing of Assuine are often referred to as druids. Her lesser Blessings, like the ones Roland has, allow her Blessed to use her power passively, and connect more easily with her creations. Talking to plants and animals, moving silently through the forest, and gaining energy from nature are all lesser Blessings.

When someone is granted the Greater Blessing, Assuine gives them direct access to channel her power. Unlike the other gods, whose power resides with them in the Divine Realm they now inhabit, Assuine used so much of hers in creating life on Kaltis, that it largely resides here, in nature. When she grants her followers access to this power, they are able to draw it from the surrounding regions and use it as they see fit. It rests in all things living, and the ability to control such a thing is a heavy responsibility.

When they use this ability, they are drawing power from the surrounding life. The limit on what a druid can do is based on the plants and animals they find nearby. Losing some of this power doesn’t seem to harm the flora or fauna in any way, but Perfon hinted that channeling it back into its source had... interesting long-term effects, but refused to elaborate.

The uses are limited only by their "understanding" of nature, but this "understanding" is nebulous at best. Perfon tried to explain it, but it didn’t really make sense to me. He spent months following a bear family, living amongst them and trying to learn to take their form, but he never got it. One day, when he was about to give up, he got in a wrestling match with one of the cubs, and suddenly he knew how to do it. This led me to believe it was an intuitive thing, but he described an aspiring physician who joined the order and could heal people the day she gained her Greater Blessing.

This is very different from how Daulf explained his magic to me. The way he talked of it, he gained the knowledge to use his abilities along with the power, and he has little ability to change them or learn new ones unless his goddess bestows them. Assuine’s method struck me as a parent handing their child a catapult and saying, "Go see what you can fit in it."

I examined him in my Willsight as we spoke. His own aura was a greenish gold, and his smell was like that of a dog coming in wet from the rain, though not as unpleasant. Around us, the forest stood with a faint gray cast. My Willsight had improved, and now only magical items, people, and animals had a noticeable aura, but if I focused on the plants I could see the gray cast once more. When Perfon walked through the forest, small tendrils of his green-gold aura snaked out towards the plants around him. Where his aura neared them, tendrils of their own coalesced from the ground and plants. These new tendrils were a color beyond my capability to describe. It was as if all the heus of the world were all blended into one, but instead of turning black, you could make out all the shades buried together. Where this aura appeared, the plants glowed fully with this newly manifested spectrum and reacted to Perfon’s passing by bending out of the way.

I watched this show of colors in awe, and had to dismiss my Willsight when I couldn’t focus on both it and Perfon’s explanation.

Shortly after the discussion on magic ended, he announced that we were at the destination. By then, the sun was starting to set, and Perfon got to work finding more food for dinner. He came back with a rabbit, two squirrels, and a strange root that looked rather phallic.

"This one isn't cold, that's for sure!" he shouted, lifting it over his head. We both burst into laughter.

Making note of his other finds, I asked, "You killed those? I thought druids saw all life as sacred."

Having only recovered from his last bout of laughter, he just let out a loud "Ha!" before answering, "We hold life as sacred, but it would be quite silly of us to tell a tiger to stop eating a gazelle when that’s what it was created to do. The way I see it,"—he opened his mouth to show me his teeth and kept talking it—"ih Ahooien didn't want ush to eat ani-als see ouldn't ha gi-hen ush all yeese teeth."

Closing his mouth, he continued, "Though, that’'s just me. Some of her elven followers have some strange ideas. There’s a reason I’m exploring here and not out west near them. Besides, if Assuine had a problem with it, I probably wouldn’t be able to turn into a bear."

“Good point,” I said, and began to gather wood for a fire. “I assume we can burn sticks, right?”

The rest of the meal was filled with idle chatter. I told him about my life growing up, and he told me about his. I got the sense he was a little more than a humble caravan master in his prior life, but I was holding secrets back myself and didn't press.

In hindsight, I really needed that day with him. Even sitting before the door, I was somehow able to forget my troubles and get lost in conversation with a new friend. As the sun began to set, Perfon stood to leave.

He said, "Well, that was a lovely chat, but I really need to fly. It truly was a pleasure." He then began to transform into a smaller feathered... something.

"Wait!" I shouted, and he did—stopping mid-transformation into some hybrid halfling-bird monstrosity. He tilted his head at a quizzical angle, and I recognized his intended form as an owl.

"How can I find this place again, that is, I mean... How do I get to town from here?"

His voice still normal, he pointed a disturbing feathered arm to the east and said, "If you head due east you will hit the road, the town is about a long walk south." Finishing his transformation as he spoke, he took off and flew away into the night—leaving my blanket to fall from his owl body and flutter to the ground on the breeze.

Riloth help me. How far is “about a long walk?”

Making use of the dying light, I headed east and found the road after a short twenty-minute hike and made an extra effort to identify landmarks as I went. I came out of the forest near a large dead tree I knew I'd be able to recognize in the future. That first night, lost in thought, I must have walked much further than I realized before finding the door.

I retraced my steps back to the clearing. By the time I returned, it was fully night, but I still had hours left in the reset. Rested, in high spirits, and with a clarity potion in hand, I wasted no time opening the door.

Inside the room at the bottom of the stairs, lay my pulverized body. Seeing it there in its unnatural state sent a shiver down my spine and turned my stomach. I marshaled my roiling gut with a deep breath and looked once more at my corpse. Nothing can prepare you for seeing your own mutilated self brutally shattered across a room. Despite knowing that I got better—and likely would if I died so again—it made me hesitant to reenter.

I stood outside the door working up the courage to proceed. The golems seemed uninterested in me. A reluctant glance at the body showed my satchel missing, and you were nowhere to be seen in all the gore. I surveyed the room until I finally found you. Atop one of the racks of equipment lay a shelf of books of various sizes and styles, all enclosed in a glass box with an intricate lock.

How did you get there?

Looking to avoid another squashing, I tried to open the lock with Minor Telekinesis. That’s a terrible name, my mother was never good at coming up with clever spell names—Riloth rest her. Anyway, whatever effect dispelled my armor the day before preventing the spell from taking effect from outside the pocket realm, but my Will still took a hit from the attempt. It’s unlikely it would have worked, the spell is only good for crude movements of objects and handles fine motor skills like opening a door very poorly.

That really only left me with one choice—made more difficult by the inclusion of the glass case—I needed to run in and grab it, and hopefully make it out in time. I looked around for a large rock and after finding a suitable one, walked through the portal. The moment my face passed over the threshold, the terrible odor of my rotting-corpse-puddle hit my nose. It was awful, the smell of decaying flesh, eggs, and rust all together. Ugh, I shouldn’t have written that, I smell it again.

Give me a moment.

Alright.

As soon as I entered the room, staggering slightly from the shock of the smell, the golems repeated their countdown. While they did, I summoned a Light in the center of the room and waited. When the lights went out, the golems advanced on me, their blank faces a terrifying contrast to the stone grinding noise they emitted as they moved. When they were halfway to me, I attempted once more to Blink across the room. Just as before, my path was redirected but—prepared this time—I rolled to the side immediately after appearing to dodge the attack. I’d gained a lot of practice rolling on the ground with Bearskin—not like that. In wrestling training, he taught me to roll while wrestling. Well, the training saved me that day, and I dodged the stone fist as it slammed into the ground beside me. Scrambling to my feet, I ran at the glass case and slammed my rock into it as hard as I could manage. The rock broke in two.

Flood.

And then the golem killed me.