[ Recorded on November 17 ]

I feel like dying right now. Just jump over the edge and don't look back.

How on earth did I manage to fuck things up so hard? I mean, I had the entire script written on the plane but the moment I stepped onto the stage I could no longer understand my own handwriting. I even stuttered for the first few seconds as I saw the entire room fill up with people who had their eyes on me.

However, I did manage to pull through, using the bullet points behind me as guidance.

When people started asking questions I actually felt like I had the situation under control.

I talked about how this new revelation could affect our current technology, how we could develop more accurate satellites and track down unknown pure God Legendary Pokémon, unlike the known Demi-God Legendary Pokémon before other villainous groups could and secure them.

Everything was manageable until one person came with a question I didn't want to answer.

"If we can gain control of this 'new' Aura and use it to track down Legendary Pokémon. How can you be sure this technology doesn't fall in the wrong hands?"

My answer was short. "We can't."

The tension in the room exploded.

.....

[ Recorded on November 18 ]

Today the letter came in.

It was a long letter with a lot of official terms and expensive words but it all boiled down to a "cease and desist"

Fuck, I can't actually believe it, they funded this research and now they want me to erase it. Pretend it does not exist and wipe it under the rug. Why?

Because it's too dangerous! Because nefarious groups might use this technology to find Legendary Pokémon and harm them because they rather have no one knowing what Legendary Pokémon are than everyone knowing it.

This is just top-level bullshit.

Damnit, I don't want to burn all my work but the League made their point very clear.

Either stop or we will force you to stop.

Ugh, why do things always end up this way?

...

[ Recorded on November 19 ]

Fuck.

.....

[ Recorded on December 1 ]

I didn't go to work today. I wouldn't be able to ignore their looks, their faces, and their rumors. I just want to sleep so that's what I am going to do.

My therapist keeps calling me but I just muted her, I really don't feel like talking to anyone.

....

[ Recorded on December 2 ]

Got a weird email today. The person who had sent it was actually someone I had seen during my symposium. I didn't pay him much mind that day but he was the sender of that email. I think his name was Redburn or something.

The email in itself was an enigma as well. I nearly deleted it before opening it but boredom and a drunken mind made me open it instead.

The contents were straightforward. He introduced himself as a 'representative of a private research facility' and said he was very interested in my research.

I of course first thought this was a joke, some kind of mock mail one of my colleagues sent but then he started talking about logistics and requirements. The kind of things my co-workers can't even properly spell.

The point is, this research facility is as illegal as it gets and to join I have to cut off all contact with the outside world to maintain secrecy which is not a problem for me at all.

Doing so would allow me to work on my research and more, unrestrained by laws and ethics. The point is- why does he care about my work so much? I feel like there is more behind this.

I should inform the League.

I really should.

But a part of me feels like they don't deserve it. I know it's wrong to think that way but the thought doesn't leave my mind.

For now, I just keep the email inside my inbox. I truly don't know what to do with this.

.....

[ Recorded on December 13 ]

The stars are cold and distant tonight. Uncaring about the world in a beautiful way. They're not even shining anymore. Just specks of colored dust in the sky.

.....

[ Recorded on December 14 ]

I just feel tired today, I kind of don't want to deal with all this shit but the League is practically forcing me. I tried to reach out, to find another way but they refused to respond to any of my messages.

My supervisor doesn't care and threatens to fire me if I don't comply.

I just want to do my job, and carry on with my life but I can't burn away all my work. At this point, it is practically my child.

Today I am packing my stuff and following the instructions sent to me by Redburn. Maybe I am making a rash decision, either out of desperation or adrenaline but I just want a new start. No old baggage and do some actual science.

I have no idea where I am going but I do know that this place will be isolated. I can't take too much of my belongings but I guess I'll take this recorder with me.

I don't even know why I am taking this notebook with me but going without it feels wrong.

.....

[ Recorded on December 15 ]

Alcohol is not allowed down here. I don't feel like writing at all, despite so much happening. I think I might relapse.

.....

[ Recorded on December 16 ]

So, while I am now officially a criminal there are two things I regret. Not being able to drink and not seeing the stars at night.

.....

[ Recorded on December 20 ]

Not much time to write today. My life has been busy lately and I don't think I am supposed to leave written evidence of what is going down here but it is my audio diary, no one knows I have one and if it ever gets discovered then the secret's out anyway.

It is actually almost surreal, how I became part of this conspiracy. Part of a mad group looking for a way to capture or even kill a legit God. Although calling them mad would make me the blackest kettle.

The God facility is so big, I still haven't even explored the entire floor and there are two more to go! Although I am not allowed to go everywhere without permission. They even have guards which originally I thought was fucking crazy but makes a bit more sense now I know what kind of monsters they keep down here.

Most of what I know is rumors but if even a small percentage is true then I should be glad we have those guards.

Regarding my research, I have actually managed to make hardware compatible with locating this special Aura Legendary class Pokémon have, it's a bit chunky still but it is more than I could have ever done under the League's watch. The equipment they have down here is top-notch which made me question who pays for all of this.

I asked the person in charge, Charles Redburn, and he told me that a powerful organization had a lot of interest in the work done down here. I asked who the organization was but he told me that something better remain a secret.

This does make me worry. I know that we merely want to capture a Legendary to prevent a calamity but the people who are pumping money into this. What are their goals?

.......

[ Recorded on December 22 ]

Damn, there's so much going on down here that I didn't know. For example, we perform experiments on Pokémon and not common Pokemon but rather rare and endangered Pokémon.

I haven't seen it myself but I heard the people in the hallway talk, they, of course, refuse to talk with me about their work and the files on the experiments are rather scarce, not sure why they would bother with more secrecy but I did get my hands on some files anyway. And the Pokémon down here, well they are on a whole new level.

Yes, I realize experimenting on Pokémon sounds messed up but honestly, it is not that bad. They are taken care of a lot better than they would be in the wild and it is not much different from breeding them, just a few extra steps, and the things we learn from them are just mind-blowing and can revolutionize everything we know. Although, sadly most focus is on finding a 'strong' Pokémon rather than finding out why they are stronger it isn't my department so I can't really be vocal about it.

It does make me wonder though, where they get the Pokémon from especially with the rarity of some of these Pokémon like the starter Pokémon Charmander that to my knowledge could only be attained from high-ranking league breeders or people like Professor Oak.