Getting back up to the castle was no easy feat, with the way the blizzard continued to blow, but all it took was a bit of time. The blizzard would continue for the next eight months, so there was no point in waiting it out. However, we could use the storm as a cloak, getting some protection from unwanted visitors while the crews worked to assess what damage the dragons had done in their brief attack.

In the meantime, we passed the rapidly cooling corpse of the half-celestial red dragon, and descended into the inner part of Castle Faydark, passing through the mystic doorway into the pocket space where the temperature was always perfect, and there was an endless supply of pleasures to be had, whether it be food, or drink, or companionship. Leave it to followers of the Succubus Queen to have a place of such decadence as their domain. Yet, after the battle we had just come through, it was good to relax.

Together, we raised a glass to salute the fallen. Ebonheart was the only one who lost his life in the attack. Some of the spectral archers on the walls had been destroyed by the wyrm, Kulrys, either in his attack upon the walls, or when he fell down upon them, dead. But they were just projections, and could be recovered over the next few days. Only Ebonheart was gone, and gone for good.

Our first drink in hand, the next thought we gave was to the loot. A nation’s wealth lay before us in the pile of prizes taken from the bodies of our enemies, to say nothing of the work that was already beginning in harvesting materials from the dragon corpses. However, most of the items were either warded against evil creatures using them, or they were far too specialized. Like our own gear, these enemies had had enough coin to customize their equipment to suit their needs, which meant that they were ill suited for us. The few items we could easily use were little more than trinkets compared to the rest. It was unfortunate, but they would have to go into storage, until we found some way to alter them.

The wizard had kept her spellbooks on hand, which was a treasure trove in its own right. Each of the three books was heavily magical, being the size of a normal spellbook, yet somehow having a thousand pages to fill with magical incantations and gestures to allow the wizard to cast her spells. Each was also warded against energy, so that accidental fire or other such things would not damage them. Unfortunately, they were also trapped, glaringly so, with a spell that would turn the reader into a book themselves should they fail the save against the magic. That brought some disturbing questions to mind about how the wizard had managed to get her spellbooks, naturally.

Of course, that was the least twisted thing about the wizard. As we had stripped the body, it was clear that Sanvi had been telling the truth, and Mumiel had altered herself to be both male and female below the waist. More disturbingly, it was clear that the clothes she had been wearing were mere illusions cast by a glamour from her headband, and she had been naked the entire time. Yet it was not the most twisted thing about her.

The glasses she wore on the bridge of her nose were magical. The lenses were enchanted so that they offered continuous True Sight and Greater Arcane Sight effects, allowing her to pierce through illusions and discern magical auras with ease. That, in itself, was normal, if an expensive proposition for most individuals. But they were also enchanted with a small gap in the True Sight effect. The wearer would see everyone she looked upon as they were without any clothes. The Voice of the World even called them Pervert’s Glasses.

The belt she wore identified as a Belt of the Perverse. The most normal thing it did was give the wearer the unarmored defense of a fifth-level monk. It also had an enhancement to the wearer’s Charisma, which was unusual in a belt, but not unheard of. However, the main issue was that the belt gave the wearer the ability to… enchant their seed, ensuring that not only would it overcome attempts at preventing pregnancy, but that the child would have celestial qualities when they were born.

In addition, Mumiel had a series of magical staves. Only one was enchanted as a weapon, but all four held powerful magic. And all four were twisted to some degree.

Mumiel’s Runestaff

Type

Tool

Weight

4 lb

This ornate wooden staff was carved by the hand of Mumiel the Twisted. It possesses the power to allow a caster of arcane magics to sacrifice some of their known spells or open spell slots to use the spells within the staff.

Charming - Can use a prepred arcane spell or arcane spell slot of the same level or higher to cast the following spells (each 3/day): Charm Monster, Charm Person

Forced Happiness - Can use a prepred arcane spell or arcane spell slot of the same level or higher to cast the following spells (each 3/day): Celebration (SC), Irresistable Dance, Hideous Laughter

Insanity - Can use a prepred arcane spell or arcane spell slot of the same level or higher to cast the following spells (each 3/day): Confusion, Insanity, Lesser Confusion, Weird

Not terrible. Siora was the only one of us who had spell slots that could be used with the runestaff, and she confessed that she could already cast most of those spells, if not all. The only thing truly twisted about the item was the combination of spells it held. This one item could turn any mage into a menace if a party was not equipped with mind-shielding magics.

Staff of Shifting Truths

Type

Simple Two-handed

Weight

4 lb

Damage

1d6+8

Damage Type

Bludgeoning

Crit

x2

Range

n/a

This staff was personally crafted by the hand of Mumiel the Twisted, a hound archon that plumbed the depths of transmutation magic so far that she found only madness. While it looks to be solid black wood, the staff seems to change shape whenever it is not being observed, as though it were writhing about and only holding still when it is being watched.

+8 Enhancement to Attack and Damage

Aberration Dread – Enhancement is +4 better when facing Aberrations. +4d6 damage to Aberrations, and if this weapon scores a critical hit, an Aberration must make a DC 27 Fort save or be destroyed instantly and turned to dust. This effect still affects creatures immune to critical hits or death magic.

Energy Aura – Deal 1d6 of a chosen energy type (acid, cold, electricity, or fire). Can change chosen type as a standard action.

Skillful – Base Attack Bonus with this weapon is equal to 3/4 of their HD, or normal, whichever is higher.

Defending – Can transfer some or all of the enhancement bonus to an AC bonus that stacks with all other bonuses.

Tentacular – Upon command, the staff sprouts a number of lengthy, sinuous tentacles which lash out in search of sexual secretions and negative emotional energy. Each orgasm induced by the staff returns one charge to the staff. A fully charged tentacular staff cannot sprout tentacles until at least one charge is used. As the tentacles are slender and fairly weak (STR 4), they can only be used easily on willing, sleeping, unconscious, or magically held victims.

Transmutation – Can cast Expeditious Retreat (1 charge), Alter Self (1 charge), Blink (1 charge), Polymorph (2 charges), Baleful Polymorph (2 charges), and Disintegrate (3 charges).

50 charges remaining.

Just as a weapon alone, this staff could be counted as a mighty boon to anyone who thought to take on creatures such as mindflayers or the like. Whether on the attack or defense, it could seriously strengthen the user’s abilities. However, that wasn’t what drew my eye. The staff contained many powerful spells, as was normal for items of its type. What was abnormal, was the means it had of regaining spent charges!

Normally, a magical staff would be created with fifty charges, and when those were used, the item either lost its magic, became a normal magical quarterstaff, or crumbled into dust. A staff that could be recharged was unheard of, as far as I knew. But the fact that it regained charges through the use of tentacles, and doing that? Pervert might be too light a word to describe the fallen wizard.

Tentacular Staff of Domination

Type

Tool

Weight

4 lb

This magical stave was crafted by the hand of Mumiel the Twisted. It looks to be made of solid wood, carved to look like interlocking chains. However, the chains appear to move whenever they are not being observed.

Tentacular - Upon command, the staff sprouts a number of lengthy, sinuous tentacles which lash out in search of sexual secretions and negative emotional energy. Each orgasm induced by the staff returns one charge to the staff. A fully charged tentacular staff cannot sprout tentacles until at least one charge is used. As the tentacles are slender and fairly weak (STR 4), they can only be used easily on willing, sleeping, unconscious, or magically held victims.

Domination - Can cast Dominate Monster (1 charge, minimum DC 33), Demand (1 charge, minimum DC 32), Mass Charm Monster (1 charge, minimum DC 32), Geas (heightened, 1 charge, minimum DC 33).

50 Charges Remaining.

Another tentacular staff. This one allowed the use of powerful mind magics. I decided to ignore the way it recharged, in favor of how the spells it held might benefit me. Actually, I could see such a staff being useful if it could be wielded against the army that was supposed to be coming to attack Frostreach. Sowing discord within the ranks as friends turn on each other would shatter the army’s resolve.

Tentacular Staff of Tentacles

Type

Tool

Weight

4 lb

This magical stave was crafted by the hand of Mumiel the Twisted. It looks to be made of solid wood, carved to look like interlocking the tentacle of a great sea beast. The tentacle moves as though it had a will of its own, though it never tries to leave the hand of its wielder.

Tentacular - Upon command, the staff sprouts a number of lengthy, sinuous tentacles which lash out in search of sexual secretions and negative emotional energy. Each orgasm induced by the staff returns one charge to the staff. A fully charged tentacular staff cannot sprout tentacles until at least one charge is used. As the tentacles are slender and fairly weak (STR 4), they can only be used easily on willing, sleeping, unconscious, or magically held victims.

Tentacles - Can cast Evard's Black Tentacles (1 charge), Mumiel's Violating Tentacles (1 charge), Mumiel’s Tentacular Orgy (3 charges).

50 Charges Remaining.

This staff was actually writhing about in my hand, even as I held it. To say that it was merely creepy was like saying a dragon was a slightly large lizard. While not untrue, it was far from the whole story.

Worse, still, were the spells contained within. One was a spell I knew, the Black Tentacles spell. But the other two? Those looked to be spells of the twisted transmuter’s own creation. While I could not know for certain how the spells would act unless I cast them, the name alone, and the fact that she had clearly designed the tentacle recharge method spoke volumes about what they likely did.

“Yes,” Sanvi nodded, as I shared what I learned with my comrades. “Mumiel was a twisted soul, though her perversion never caused her to fall from grace, she was ever an outlier amongst the more… orderly ranks of the archons. I do know of the two spells you speak of, though. They are perverse variations on the Black Tentacles spell. The first targets a single creature, while the second covers an area. Both attempt to grapple their target. However, instead of damaging the victim, as the normal spell does, these rip away nonmagical garments and force themselves inside any open orifice the creature has relentlessly violating them. My father would have her cast such a spell on people to ‘reward’ them, even as he degraded them.”

“Well,” I said, frost filling my voice. “It seems I have even more reason to kill the bastard than I did before. Perhaps I’ll let him experience the ‘fun’ of this spell before he dies.”