[ Dr. Lyndis's Recordings ]

[ Recorded on September 9 ]

Ugh, it is 5 AM in the morning as I write this but I just can't sleep. Every time I close my eyes with the intention of falling asleep I just wake up after 10 minutes of falling into this half-sleep state.

My body feels tired and my head is spinning but I can't fall asleep for some reason. And if I do I just wake up with cold sweat.

Tonight I think I will just try watching the stars until I fall asleep, maybe that will help me.

Maybe I should ask my therapist, but on the other hand, I don't want more labels attached to my name. Keeping my head down is already a struggle, no need to add fuel to the fire.

........

[ Recorded on September 10 ]

Funny thought, I would rather spend 6 hours scouring the newly released prototype of something called the pokenet on how to fall asleep than talk to my therapist about it. Makes you wonder.

Also, the stars were lovely but it was too cold outside. I would use the telescope but the view from my apartment is just too bad.

......

[ Recorded on September 15 ]

Random question, why does the League even have to psychologically evaluate people? It is a waste of time and money. Maybe it is to prevent someone who is a complete idiot from working with technology that can destroy a whole region. Still, even though that sounds like a solid reason, why did they pick me? I am quite certain that I am not homicidal and my research is not even that special. Regardless, now I am obliged to visit my therapist every week for an evaluation.

That's the amount of time I could be spending on furthering my studies.

Working for the League is just frustrating sometimes, all the secrecy and protocols but it's the only way I'll ever get the chance to work for someone of importance like Oak.

.......

[ Recorded on September 16 ]

I had that dream again. The memories of the dream fade away as the day goes on but I know I had this dream multiple times before. Maybe I should have someone take a look at it but I heard the process involves Gengar which… well I wouldn't trust a Pokémon inside my head.

Instead of spending the morning trying to fall asleep, I just went out to the park. It's very cold outside but I managed to see some constellations this morning. The Knight was visible this morning which, according to some pseudo-science, means that a change will come in your life.

.......

[ Recorded on September 17 ]

Okay, I decided to record the dream the moment I woke up so I don't forget it later.

So in the dream, I am back at my childhood home. I am sitting at the table and drawing Shady with crayons. Shady herself is sleeping in the corner of the room with a few half-eaten berries lying next to her while my parents are arguing on the couch. Just as I am done with the drawing, the lights inside the house go out. I look outside the window and see the sky darken all of a sudden. A huge wave forms outside of the city and crashes towards the shore, maybe twice the size of a skyscraper. It storms towards our house, I try to turn around and warn everyone but when I look again everyone is gone. My Umbreon is gone, my parents are gone and I found myself on some kind of ship. The sound of thunder ripping through the air fills the room and I look outside. Behind the wave I can see the mythical Lugia flying above the ocean, its eyes glowing red as lightning flashes through the sky revealing the jet-black body of the legendary Pokémon which was unlike the pictures or illustrations I had seen for the God of the Sea.

It looked ... no, it felt evil.

I don't understand why I would dream about this. It can't be a forgotten memory because I was asleep when it happened. Maybe I should go outside and take a walk today, might as well enjoy the weather and the city while everyone is still asleep.

.........

[ Recorded on September 20 ]

So I keep coming back to this recorder, not sure why but recording in it does help me feel a bit calmer, it also does make me feel a bit childish but hey, my therapist commands me.

Though this recorder is still stupid, yes I am talking about you.

.......

[ Recorded on September 21 ]

Hearing back I think I know why I keep recording in this stupid recorder but it is not like I have anyone else to talk with. My colleagues have avoided me ever since I started working here.

I had hoped that coming to Kanto would have been a fresh start but nope, the pokenet is soon going to be available to the public and the rumors keep following me once someone forms an opinion you are stuck with it, no matter what you do.

Besides my supervisor, no one ever talks to me at the center unless it is absolutely necessary. And I swear I can see the disgust in their eyes every time they walk past me in the dinner area. Like everything is my fault.

Just great.

My therapist advised me to go out and have some fun, I tried to do so but the stories of going to a bar and being picked up by a handsome guy are not true at all. I just sat there and got drunk until the bar closed.

Even had two guys who were asking for a Pokémon battle. I first thought they were flirting with me but they actually wanted a Pokémon battle with me. They thought I was recording down strategies in my recorder instead of " research", They were quite disappointed when I revealed I did not have a Pokémon.

When the bar closed I just spent the evening on a bench while gazing at the stars until I felt tired enough to go home and cry.

........

[ Recorded on September 24 ]

So I tried drinking multiple brands of tea to help me sleep but they don't work at all. I just wasted a lot of money.

Meditation ain't working for me either. I feel calm for about 30 seconds and then my toes start to itch.

The only thing that seems to work is staying up long enough so my body will tire itself out. Which happens around 4 in the morning which leaves me with 3 hours of sleep.

........

[ Recorded on September 26 ]

Alcohol does help, as long as I drink enough I won't wake up once during the night. The only downside is the massive pain headache in the morning but at least I get some rest.

Not making much progress in my study because of all the procedures I have to follow, now I just spent most of my time crunching numbers and digging through old archives and files until the League finally approves my request.

My boss actually had to ask what I was actually looking for with my research. I swear, I need hand puppets or something to explain it to that manchild.

.........

[ Recorded on September 32 ]

Finally got access to the files I requested. I know I haven't been writing here a lot lately but honestly, there was not much to write about. Quite a boring week with me waiting for League approval. It sucked to wake up with a headache every morning but hey, it beats not sleeping at all.

Today I actually did receive it and they sent the files I requested which were about time. Though when I actually skimmed through them I discovered that they were not nearly what I was hoping for. Most of the research the League did is incomplete, shit quality, and outdated but there was some useful stuff in there.

I do wonder why they would go to such lengths to keep it a secret. It is not like the information is that special or dangerous.

.........

[ Recorded on October 6 ]

My therapist brought an Emolga from the Unova Region to the session this time. She asked me to take care of it even though she knows damn well I don't do well with Pokémon. When I reluctantly tried to pet it the little shit actually gave me an electric shock.

I told her to find someone else and left the room.

..........

[ Recorded on October 7 ]

Okay, I know it is not healthy to drink this much but I really need every single hour of sleep while I can, especially now since my entire career depends on this case. If I fail now it might take years before I'll get another shot at it.

When I am done with this project I'll stop drinking, and no, that is not an excuse. I actually need it to show up at work without looking like a wreck.

To make it even better, I'm on my period right now, so I've been feeling awful for the past few days for multiple reasons. Just my luck.

..........

[ Recorded on October 10 ]

Question: It's a well-known fact that Pokémon have a lot more Aura than humans but what about people with psychic powers? How is their Aura level? Similar to a Pokémon or higher? Maybe it's high Aura levels that allow a person to use Psychic abilities. Same for other people with weird abilities like Aura guardians from Rota for example.

Why has no one bothered to question that?

If their Aura really is higher than the average person then this news could be huge. People could be tested to see if they have Psychic or other supernatural abilities. Then they could be provided with the help they need. And a lot of collateral damage.

Although, while I am recording this sentence I just realized how hard it would be to actually verify this theory. Finding enough people with anomalous abilities that are willing to help would be a struggle but then you also have to add a control group.

Besides that there is also the question if they have higher Aura levels, is that because of their abilities or did they get the abilities because of the Aura? Which comes first?

Just a random thought.

........

[ Recorded on October 20 ]

I feel good today, so good that I even picked up this recorder to record again. I should actually record this on a daily basis but work takes up all my time lately.

Making some real progress now that I finally went through all the data.

The weather has been awful the past few days, with a lot of rain and storms. Times like these make me feel good about not being a traveling Pokémon trainer.

While I am sitting inside with a cup of hot tea, they struggle against the forces of nature. The bus stop is right outside my apartment which is a small blessing.

I am even growing numb to the headaches! And I know that booze is not the solution to my problem but it is working damn well.

........

[ Recorded on October 22 ]

I woke up today at my desk and got caught by my supervisor who usually opens the building in the morning. He told me to go home and get some rest. Of course, I refused, I was so close to my study but that asshole sent me home anyway. I was about to take my research with me but he told me to leave my work and take a day off.

So here I am, bored and not knowing what to do. The bottle of wine is looking at me from the kitchen and I am not sure I can resist the temptation.

.........

[ Recorded on October 23 ]

It is all over the news, a volcano eruption occurred in the Hoenn region that engulfed an entire island of people resulting in the death of thousands.

Apparently the native people of Hoenn are claiming that the legendary God of Earth, Groudon stirred in his sleep and caused a volcano eruption in Hoenn while claiming if he had stirred twice he would have destroyed 85% of Hoenn.

This terrified me.

I was a scientist who leaned heavily towards Professor Oak's study on the hierarchy of Pokémon that goes from normal to Pseudo Legendary to Legendary Demi-Gods, legendary Pokémon resulting from the conception of a legendary Pokémon and an ordinary pokemon, to the Legendary Gods.

While this study was heavily criticized and controversial for it's lack of actual evidence other then ancient artifacts, painting and riddles, this study was something that alot of people like me believed in.

Sometimes I get these absurd thoughts that a bunch of weirdos will find the Legendary Gods before the League could by only using a bunch of ancient artifacts and riddles.

The League claimed that volcano eruption was due to a tectonic plate being pushed down under another and this was just something they hadn't prepared for but it was all under control as a new department had formed to keep check of such disasters by predicting them before they occurred but terrifying thoughts kept looping through my mind while I kept watching the news.

Was the Pompeii Island disaster due to some legendary Pokémon?

How many more of those Legendaries are out there?

.........

[ Recorded on October 27 ]

I called in sick today… again. The dream I've had for the past few months has changed. No longer am I in my childhood home, instead, I am falling down a volcano. The heat of the magma on the bottom, I swear it felt so real. As I am falling the magma underneath me boils and begins to rise, revealing a huge creature that slowly rises from the lake.

When I woke up, I was bathing in sweat. I immediately checked the news to see if there was an update on the situation but it seemed the world had already moved on. "It was mostly handled" by the Hoenn League and nobody seems to care about it anymore.

The question is, why does it bother me?

I don't understand, there is nothing to be done about it and the situation is over, every rational part of my mind agrees but the moment I sit still or try to sleep my thoughts drift back to that monster hiding underneath the earth's crust.

I called my therapist this morning, expecting her to use that disappointed voice of hers but surprisingly she was very understanding. She did use that condescending tone when she said, "with your condition" but that could also just be me. On the flip side, she did advise me to focus on my work to keep the matter off my mind which might be the most useful advice she has given me so far.

My research is important, now more than ever.

...........

[ Recorded on November 2 ]

I feel a little bit better today. I am still terrified by the knowledge that my life could be ended at a moment's notice but with the right amount of booze and work, I can push it out of my mind.

The sky outside still looks grey, like it is about to rain for a long time.

..........

[ Recorded on November 4 ]

I am so close with my research. I finished up all the drafts and testing models, and now I only have to wait for the Aura print, if that gives me a negative result then I will know for certain my theories are correct. I do not dare to think I am right, scared that it might influence the outcome of the test but I truly do hope I am.

If everything works out, this will change the way we see the world.

...........

[ Recorded on November 8 ]

My hands are shaking. I cannot believe this, even as I am writing this down it still feels like I am in a fever dream but the results do not lie.

I used multiple methods to verify it, to prove myself wrong but my theory still stands. Legendary Pokémon do not have Aura. Instead, they have some sort of variation of it, a stronger version that dispels normal Aura.

I am almost done with finishing up my scientific journal and plan to send them to the League this evening. I haven't been this excited since, well... ever.

I think I'll treat myself to a deluxe cupcake today.

............

[ Recorded on November 16 ]

The response came quicker than I thought. This morning the League sent a response in which they wanted me to explain my findings in person.

I look like a mess. How on earth am I going to attend a scientific symposium in which all the attention is on me? I am absolutely not a public speaker and I have almost no time to prepare something.

I called my therapist but her advice was mainly 'you got it girl' which was not useful at all.

I really hope this works out fine.

Now if you excuse me dear recorder, I have a plane to catch.