《Ascension》V2 Chapter 26: Melancholy

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Celebrations continued for weeks as the humans hoped through light speed. Everyone let loose. All the military and the civilians. The only ones who really had to keep it together were the pilots of the ships, and they worked in shifts.

They were on their way to a permanent home. And the game was changed forever.

The planet was something that only this one group of Tarlaki knew about as far as anyone knew. And during the raid, they had sent them years back in infrastructure before the local government had a chance to pursue them. There was a real possibility that they would get some other group of Tarlaki to assist them, but the intelligence wing thought that was unlikely.

No one thought that this would be as easy as just showing up. They would likely be found almost immediately, and the other Tarlaki would soon be made aware of them. The hope was they would have a chance to get a foothold. Once they had a planetary respawn point, it would be impossible to dislodge them.

Gamer generations have led to this point. So many had ascended or given up just to be replaced by new members. Still, they had kept up the fight collectively, and now they had finally made progress.

After a day of partying, Sevs found himself wishing for some peace and quiet. He grabbed an artificial beer and found an empty meeting room. This wasn't hard as most people were in the bars. He sat at a chair at the far end of the room with only the light by the door on.

Putting his feet up on the table he leaned back and sipped his beer while staring at the ceiling. He wasn't sure what he was doing here. Here in this room, here in this world, here in this game.

Time passed as he counted the hole in the vent above him as the room shook slightly from the parties raging around him.

Sevs sat alone for quite a while before the door cracked open. Sevs just shifted his head to watch whoever it was, come through the door. Dan closed the door behind him and placed one of the beers he was carrying next to the empty one Sevs had finished a while ago.

He then just sat next to Sevs and started sipping his beer in silence. Sevs watched him for a second before leaning forward and grabbing the other beer. After some companionable silence, Sevs finally spoke up. "What brings you here?"

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"Just wanted to make sure there wasn't any underage drinking going on." Came the reply. Sevs gave Dan a flat look, and they both laughed. Sevs may have looked like he was 15, but the system was kind enough to not let permanent alcohol issues from underage drinking persist after the tutorial.

"But actually, how did you find me?" Sevs asked, honestly curious. The last time he had seen Dan, there and been a few pole dancers and a lot of alcohol present.

"Jason, of all people, noticed you disappeared and wanted some help tracking you down. I told him I would take care of it." Dan said. "Finding you wasn't too hard with officer credentials. You should know that."

Sevs shrugged. He hadn't really explored his new access to the system. There wasn't anything he was really interested in there. If he had a question, maybe it would be worth looking into, but honestly, Soshal knew more than he did. Perhaps he relied on her too much, but he preferred to think of it as effective delegating.

"I figured you might want to talk a bit. I know I don't have much to offer you in terms of experience. But in the roles we play, I'm probably the only one qualified." Dan said. Sevs noticed the nod to his beta tester status, but Dan had never really treated him differently as so many others did when they found out.

"Age isn't the same thing as experience." Sevs quipped.

"That's quite a quote. I wish I knew that one when my mother was still around."

"Ha, It's a Sevs original. But you are welcome to it."

"Well, it's true. But I wasn't talking about age." Dan said. "Do you know how many guides of yours I have read?"

"Oh? I didn't think you recognized me."

"Of course I did. Even among beta testers, you have some of the more extensive forum posts."

"And look where it got me."

"Are you really so ready to stop playing?" Dan asked with a sad expression.

"Playing? I can't remember the last time I thought of this as a game." Sevs sighed. "I don't know."

"You don't have to ascend to stop playing, you know."

"You think that I want to just stop! That I would have done all of this to just give up? I don't want to stop 'playing.' I don't want to stop exploring new places. Every time I jump into a new level or unlock a new world, I feel the same excitement that I felt the very first time!" Sevs realized he was ranting but didn't stop. Even as he felt tears running down his face. "I don't want to stop. I just don't want to be alone anymore…."

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Dan blinked, surprised at the outburst. Sevs wasn't done yet. "Everyone I ever knew has moved on. Every tester I ran through the first dozen worlds in, everyone I ran into along the way. They are all gone. I miss them. But unlike when people die, I know I can go see them. I know what I need to do. I just can't do it!"

There was no response for several minutes until Sevs looked over to see that Dan was looking at the ceiling with a pensive look on his face. Dan eventually came back to himself and turned his head to look at Sevs, giving him a small, sad smile. "I can't say I fully understand. I really can't. I have many people I miss, but I'm not anywhere close to ready to leave yet."

"This avatar was marked as 'Not suitable for ascension' around a decade ago. Pretty much the first I have ever heard of coming from here, honestly. I don't claim to understand how it works for every case, but I am beginning to see a pattern for me. Each time that I decide that there is more for me to do, it's not more than a year or two before I get the final ban. It doesn't make much of a difference to me as I would not ascend in this world or the next twenty.

"I don't think it's the same for you. Maybe it is, but that's probably not all. I think there are many reasons for people to stay behind. For some, like me, there is still more to do. Maybe for others, they haven't figured something out yet.

"On the other side… Remember Sargent Doomslayer? Well, my theory was that he was done changing, evolving learning, and didn't have anything more to do. He and the computer were satisfied that they understood him well enough and that they wouldn't be missing on more before moving him along.

"For you, I think there is something about yourself that you don't understand yet. That's just my guess. Maybe deep down, you are like me and wouldn't take to offer yet even if given, so the system never extended it. Maybe there is something it still hopes to learn from you.

Dan trailed off. These were all things that Sevs had heard or read before. Well, most of it. The theories on what the system was looking for, at least. "You really think I need to learn something more about myself?"

Dan nodded. "I mean no offense but this is the first person-centric run you have had, right?"

"Well… mostly," Sevs admitted. It was slightly embarrassing that Dan could tell without them even talking about it.

"It seems you might have neglected this part of yourself. I'm glad you are working on it. You have quite the knack for it in your own way."

Sevs laughed.

"No, really, you do. It took a little for you to find your confidence but your team would do anything for you. Not just because we are all playing at being in a military. They love you, Sevs.

Sevs shut his mouth and bit off his response. "I will need to think about that for a while."

Sipping their beers together for a while, Dan finally spoke again. "You know, I thought you were down about getting your whole team killed last mission."

Sevs almost spit out his beer. "Getting my team killed? We executed perfectly!"

"Yeah, too perfectly. If you had done your job slower, then they wouldn't have time to nuke you before the extraction team got out through your route."

"Who thinks you should capture the enemy base more slowly! No one said that was the goal."

"Yeah, but you could have thought about it," Dan said with a grin.

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