❝𝙰𝚂𝙷𝚃𝚁𝙰𝚈❞

"Fez, I miss her. I miss her coming over, i miss her checking on me, i miss her company..."

"do you love her, man?"

"i do..."

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I fell in love with him. Like, head over heels! Which is unusual for me because i rarely have crushes. I guess Ashtray is different. Actually, i know hes different. I don't necessarily think he likes me back though. He always seems annoyed by my company.

Well...he seems annoyed by everyone's company. Apart from his brother, Fez.

Today, Fez invited me over for a movie, which I gladly accepted. When i arrived, Ash was still asleep. Lazy ass. So Fez and I watched "Stand by me" by ourselves. Emotional movie.

"Why did you choose this movie, Fez? Its so sad!" I complained, crying, i looked at him and he had tears on his face too. "No its not..." he mumbled, wiping his face. "You were just crying!" I laughed and he threw a pillow at me to shut me up.

"You guys are so loud" we heard a grumpy voice. Ash had finally woken up. "Good afternoon, you finally decided to wake up" Fez teased and i chuckled. "Shut up. Why is she here?" He asked rudely, looking me up and down. I frowned but hid it, not wanting him to know his attitude hurt me.

"I invited her over to watch a movie" Fez simply replied. Ashtrays eyes traveled to the tv. "Stand by me?" He questioned, giving us an 'are you serious' face. "Its really good, I'll definitely rewatch if you wanna give it a go!" I offered with a smile and he rolled his eyes. "I dont wanna do anything with you, why are you even here, bro" he answered, walking off while rolling his eyes at me. For the millionth time.

"He doesn't like me.." i mumbled to Fez. He rubbed my back. "He'll warm up to you" he reassured. "Thanks, Fez...but its been 1 year now, he still hasn't took any interest in me whatsoever" I murmured softly, giving him a sad smile. "He just needs time" he spoke, defending his brother.

"I've given him enough time. Look, i'll come and visit you when Ash is busy. I don't want to be in his house if he doesn't like me, okay? I'll see you later" I explained with a small smile before getting up, walking out. I sighed sadly knowing i'll have to get over Ash. Why did i have to fall in love with him...

I heard the front door slam, causing me to look up from my phone. Fez sat on the couch frowning sympathetically, Y/n was no longer beside him. "Did you say something to her?" I questioned, getting protective over the girl.

I know, it seems like i hate her. But i treat Y/n how i treat everyone else, so people don't suspect that i like her. A boy like me, cant like a good girl like her. Im a drug dealer, and i can't put her in any danger.

"The fuck you care for, Ash? You hate the girl" my brother responded, eyes still on the tv. I bit my lip. I couldn't reply to that. I couldn't tell my brother my true feelings about her. And im definitely not gonna open up to him.

She hasn't come back. I haven't seen her since that day and it made me realise how much i miss her. I messaged her, but she only left me on read. Fuck, she hates me, and i dont blame her. "FEZ!" I yelled, i heard him slowly stroll to my room. "What, bro?" He answered lazily. "What the fuck happened to Y/n?!" I snapped, getting annoyed.

"What do you mean? I saw her yesterday?" I furrowed my brows. "Why didn't i?" I asked. "Because you hate her?" He said, as if he was checking if i hated her or not, he wanted confirmation i guess.

"Fez, I miss her. I miss her coming over, i miss her checking on me, i miss her company..." i rambled, not even realising that i was. "I know I definitely gave her the wrong impression, i was rude for a reason!" I continued, annoyed at myself in every possible way. "Do you love her, man?" Fez questioned.

I thought about it for a moment. I did. I knew i did. I loved that she checked on me, i loved that she never gave up on me (even when i was rude), i loved her smile, her laugh and her love for sad/romantic movies. I loved her in every single way.

"I do..." I whispered. "Fuck it, im going to tell her" i rushed out my room, rushed out the door. Not before grabbing the car keys..."YOUR SERIOUSLY TAKING MY CAR, MAN?!" I heard Fez yell. I paid absolutely no attention. I got in, and drove off.

When i finally made it to Y/n's, i saw that her parents car weren't there. I sighed in relief. I could have a private conversation with her. I knocked on the door, waiting patiently, until she eventually opened the door. "Ash?" She spoke, raising a brow. "What are you doing here..."

"I really had to see you" i said. She crossed her arms and leaned on the doorframe. "You really had to see me? You hate me, Ashtray. You don't need to see me" her tone was firm, and when she went to slam the door, I placed my foot there, stopping it.

"Don't close the fucking door, ma. You're gonna listen to me, alright?" She immediately stayed silent.

As much as I didn't wanna talk to him. It wouldn't hurt to hear him out, right? Although i was caught off guard when he called me 'ma' i was the only thing i truly focused on. I slowly nodded at his command and bit my lip to shut myself up.

"Y/n...i love you, okay? God, i fell so madly in love with you and i know I shouldn't have because you're you know...you and I'm me..." he explained, i furrowed my brows. "What do you mean by that? You're you and I'm me?" I questioned. He threw his head back slightly, groaning.

"Im a drug dealer. You're a good girl, I don't wanna put your life at risk or get you into trouble. Thats why i was rude. I wanted you to hate me but...i also want you to love me, like i love you. I'll protect you from everything and anything" his voice was soft, comforting. Unusual for Ashtray...

I wrapped my arms around his neck and his immediately went around my waist. "I love you, Ash. I have since i first laid my eyes on you..." I murmured into his ear gently. He smiled and kissed my cheek. "Wanna watch stand by me?" He asked. I pulled away, smiling brightly. "OF COURSE, COME ON!" I yelled excitedly. He laughed as i took his hand and dragged him to my room.

And we cuddled, watching my favourite movie. Which will soon become Ashtrays favourite too.