《Philosophers corner》Thoughtful gaze
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I remember going to bed, drifting to sleep like any other night, tossing and turning and thinking of too much while the dark rings under my eyelids screwed together grew larger and thicker. When I opened my eyes again all I could see were my hands at first, I was kneeling and looking down as if I hadn't fallen asleep in my bed. Slowly I looked up taking in the sight, just the void kneeling on a platform that had a sheen of glass. The world as I recalled it suspended in the void below while its moon hovered close as a friend should. I looked over my shoulder and noticed the man, my eyes had to refocus on him as he stood there with his hand to his chin in a thoughtful manner, he was old. I mean he was old in the sense that looking at him gave me the feeling that wisdom expelled out of his piercing and determined eyes. Here I was unable to focus enough on his eyes to notice the constant colors shifting in them. Before I knew what was bound to happen I started thinking. This reminded me too much of the already determined - Was I dead? Did I die in my sleep? I looked down at my arms again, first I started to breathe harshly, slowly and then with swift rhythm my shoulders and upper back started to heave up and down. My eyes started to burn, and then the sobs came out of my stress addled mind, then the abrupt hiccup followed by manic laughter. I always cried like this when stresses were relieved, when I felt as if it couldn't be worse and I could keep moving onward, when I felt happy and my mind unlocked thoughts running through my head something I could grasp onto and understand for once. I sat there long enough, when the tears started drying and my laughter turned into chuckles and soft sobs. I looked up at the man, was he god or something I hadn't quite gotten the picture of? I looked down again, the tattoos on my arms reminded me of the body I'd had all my life, and the mind that had to come with it and the roads I'd traveled and the ones I hadn't. ::What's next:: I caught myself muttering as I got up with shaking knees dusting them out of habit. My fingers ran to my mouth I started to chew on them, the man just looked on. Walking past me, he motioned with his finger, to follow as he chose a spot to stand and stare at the world I'd be born into. He stood stalwart, and even though I know I have the patience in me to do the same I fidgeted, it felt comfortable and normal to me and it helped me sort through thoughts. Did he have a message for me? Was this a test? Should I believe what I'm seeing, is this a dream? Something my mind is conjuring while my eyes are closed at my post? ::What was the point:: I asked him suddenly, this was how I was before as well to the point as if possessed. He looked back at me and with a raised eyebrow started to chuckle. With a dry, grainy mirthful tone he only responded. ::What is the point?:: I only bit back with ::To learn:: This got a grin out of him, and a curt nod before he went back to staring at the earth below. ::So what's next, can I keep learning?:: The man nodded once, ::In time.. meanwhile you can admire the whole of what you've been learning::
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8 132After the Long Burn
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