A scream drags me from the depths of sleep. I jolt upright, heart pounding a painful staccato in my chest and my palms already slicked with sweat.

Different scenarios race through my mind even as I grab the knife from beneath my pillow and the sword beside my bed. I only crawled in bed not a few turns past after getting back from walking the city, just… remembering. Smiling when I came across places where me and Ran crossed rooftops in view of the moon’s smiling face.

And, judging by the dark of the night outside my windows, it's not long before daylight.

Bamshee? Did La’Macioago find us? Wolfsbane?

In the midst of exhaustion and in an almost dream-like state, I can see the sightless eyes of my family, staring at me in accusation.

You didn’t protect us, they accuse.

I shake my head, shoving the vivid thought from my foggy mind and doubling my pace as the heart-wrenching scream comes again.

I slide to a stop before Momma’s door, shoving my way inside and... I freeze. Momma’s tangled in the covers, her face glistening with sweat.

I breathe deeply, my chest aching with something other than panic as my fingers tingle from retreating adrenaline.

She screams again, and I walk forward, gently speaking. “Mom, mom, it’s alright. You're safe.”

“Aria! Get away!”

“It’s a dream, Momma. Pull yourself out. Follow my voice.” I stay calm, knowing my voice will either send her into deeper panic or draw her out.

I crouch beside her bed so I won’t loom when she wakes. “Dream?” She blinks, eyes wide and glassy, pupils only a pin-prick in her blue eyes, clutching the covers in a death grip. Her face is paler than the sheets.

“It’s just a dream. You’re safe. We’re safe,” I whisper, soft and gentle as if to a spooked colt or wild animal.

She leans back, a shiver wracking her entire body. Then she curls in on herself and her body trembles with heaving sobs.

I untangle the covers and wrap my arms around her, shoving back tears burning behind my eyes. She leans against my shoulder, frail and weary and broken.

I feel helpless.

Motion drags my face to the door. Jack watches with a dagger in his hand, legs bent and ready for a fight. Jill stands beside him, the doorjamb turning black and growing cracks where she clenches the wood. Sir Rowen stands behind them, sword drawn, in his white small-clothes.

I meet his eyes. His entire countenance softens with compassion as his brows pinch together. I jerk my chin to Jack and Jill, then eye him, and he nods. He sheathes his blade with a soft snick, then sits a hand on Jack’s shoulder.

“Let’s get some hot cider from the kitchen,” Sir Rowen says softly, but with an underlying hint of command.

Jack nods, his eyes wide and filled with conflicting emotions I can’t read. He meets my eyes, questioning. I dart my eyes to Jill—who hasn’t moved a muscle, her blue eyes wide and gaping with fear and terror churning in their depths—then back to Jack, gesturing to her with my head.

He gives a jerky nod, wraps his arm around her shoulders, and leads her from the room. Momma’s choked sobs grow quieter, but no less heart-wrenching. The sounds take something from me I cannot even name. To realize your parents, your heroes, are just as human and broken as you takes something from your soul. Maybe your innocence. Maybe your zeal. Maybe a hint of your hope that someday things won't be so broken.

But here lately, it just seems we have one problem after the other. I feat this will always be my life.

Sir Rowen pauses a moment. “You need anything else, ma’am?” he whispers.

I shake my head, giving him a small smile in thanks. He bows and takes his leave to look after my siblings.

I rock Mom, mumbling, “We’re safe,” over and over until she falls back asleep.

Devil’s snare would help. I’ll go to Madame Nika’s tomorrow for the plant and make the remedy for stramonium.

I hold her, hating how frail she feels and hopeless to do anything about it but let time heal the wounds of the past and be a support as I can.

~~~

I walk into the kitchen, finding steaming cider in the hands of Sir Rowen and my siblings.

Sir Rowen jumps up, almost spilling his cider, and keeps his eyes to the ground as if afraid he overstepped for just sitting with my siblings.

What in the worlds is that about? It’s not like I’m actually a noble. I’m a fake noble at best, a criminal at worst. Should the city find out what I’ve done, I’ll be a rabbit’s foot if I can escape the city alive.

Jill stands slower, her blue eyes red rimmed from crying, although her face is dry. She has a silken night robe on and her regal bearing reminds me more of Jenny than my soft-spoken sibling. But then she speaks, and I know she's my soft and gentle Jill. “Momma?” she asks in a tiny voice.

I give a little smile. “Sleeping. She’ll be fine. The nightmares are almost harder than being awake at times.”

Jack looks into his cider, nodding along with Jill. I’d say each has their fair share of night terrors.

“Wanna sleep with me, for old times' sake?” I ask, forcing a grin on my face. Jill nods immediately, but Jack glances up with a raised brow.

“You sure you wanna have a stinky brother in your bed?” A hint of a smile plays around his lips.

I walk around to him, patting his head like a dog. “My wee little brother can sleep on the floor if he thinks us girls have koodies.”

A grin really flicks to his face, and he stands, crossing his arms, a half to a full head taller than me. “Your wee little brother, eh?”

I can't quite wrap my mind around it, but even though they were gone for mere weeks here, they were on another world learning about Jill's Gifts for a few months. But even with that, he’s growing quickly while Jill seems almost stunted, younger than her age. It almost scares me, but I shove back the worry for another day. Maybe the other world affected them more than we thought. But we’ll deal with that when and if it comes. Today has enough worry of its own. No reason to borrow tomorrow’s troubles, as well.

I send a prayer to Fifth. A gentle warmth encases me and I feel tingles, almost as if a hand alights on my shoulder.

We’re going to be fine, rider. All of us, Ran says as we gently bask in The King's peace.

And as I glance up at my brother, I have to fight back tears. With that glistening mischief in his eyes, strong jawline, and broadening—but still lanky!—shoulders, he looks more and more like Pa every day.

I reach up and pat his head, having to stand on my tiptoes. “My wee brother will always be the baby.”

His jaw tightens, and Jill sits down, her eyes laughing as she hides her smile behind a dainty hand.

He finally shakes his head, a smile tipping his lips as he pats my head. “My big sister.” He raises a brow, triumph on his face as he hints at just how small I am.

I shake my head with a laugh, hugging his waist. “You’ll always be my favorite brother, you know that?”

He huffs, but wraps his arms around me. I'd peg a crown that he's smiling. “I’m your only brother.”

I tug Jill to her feet, kissing her hair. “We’re gonna be just fine, you know that, right?”

Jill nods, but Jack hesitates. “Is that true, sis? You seem to have a bigger load on your shoulders than even you can handle.”

Goodness gracious. When did my brother grow from boy to man?

I tug him down so I can kiss his forehead. “Jack, I’m not strong enough for any of this. None of us are. But we’re gonna be ok cause we’ve got each other a big heckin’ King to watch our backs, you got me?”

He smiles, picking me up and hugging me. “Sis, you’re stronger than you know. And you’re right. We’ll get through this. Together.”

I nod. “As family.”

“Forever,” Jill finishes.

I hug them, so proud my heart might burst. When did my two little nincompoops—who blew snot all over me in winter and laughed as I changed their baby cloths (Jack peed on me once, but we won’t relive that)—grow into these strong and beautiful humans I love with all my heart and soul?

“I am proud of you. Both of you,” I say, voice shaking as bad as my lip. I bite it, trying to ignore the heat behind my eyes.

“We love you, too, Ria,” they say together, in an eery but lovable way. It had been so long since I heard them say something together... we are gonna be fine. Just fine.

Jack releases a long-suffering sigh. “And I’ll sleep with girl koodies. Once. But never again,” he says, brows lowering.

Me and Jill exchange a glance. “Mhmm,” she says, looking at her twin with mischief in her eyes.

~~~

I snuggled Jack and Jill into my bed and left them asleep as I went to check on Momma. She still tossed and turned some, but she seemed to be sleeping well. I need to make the devil’s snare for her.

And you, Ran says.

I’m fine.

She huffs an amused breath in my mind and I’m tempted to kick her out.

I check all the windows and doors for the thousandth time and find Sir Rowen on the porch.

He jumps up, eyes on the ground. “Forgive me, I didna mean to intrude on your siblings—”

I try to channel my inner Jenny and put some strength behind my words when I cut him off. “Sir Rowen, you’ve no need to apologize. You did exactly what I asked. In fact, you went above and beyond. Thank you for looking after them when I couldn’t.”

He looks up, relief in his eyes as he blows out a breath. “Thank you kindly, ma’am. Some afraid I’d gone and overstepped and some such...” he trailed off as I fought a smile. “Whatcha smiling for?”

I shake my head, sitting on a porch step and patting the step beside me in invitation. He hesitantly sits down, sword and chainmail clinking, and I give him the second cup of cider in my hands.

“Did you know I grew up in the woods? Harvested our own vegetables, learned canning when I was a toddler, and could strip a hare to the bone in seconds. I was as commoner as commoner gets, through and through. Just because I have a title to a false name doesn’t make me a noble, and I expect not to be treated with reverence and such. I’m just a girl.”

I watch the stars on this clear and beautiful night, enjoying the sounds of owls hooting and donkeys braying somewhere down the street. A few dogs yip and the moon shimmers down on us with her silvery glow. I still feel more at home in the night than I do in the day. In a second I’ll need to get up and see if I can sleep with my siblings, but for now, my legs don’t wanna get up and it’s pretty comfy right here, even if my backside is going numb on the hard wood of the porch step.

“Forgive me, ma’am, but I must disagree with ya there.” I raise a brow when he pauses, trailing a finger along the condensation along the tin cup. He looks up and meets my eyes with stark sincerity. “No mere girl could do all ya ‘ave.”

I shake my head, a smile pulling at my lips. “We’ll have to agree to disagree then.”

“Aye, that we will.” He grins. “How’s your Ma and siblings?” he asks softly, hesitantly, his eyes on the ground again.

“Shaken, but sleeping. It seems no matter what I do, they’re the ones who pay.” He opens his mouth to say something, but I force a smile and cut him off. “Wanna spar?”

His eyes widen and his mouth gapes. “At this time o’ night?”

I grin, warming to the idea. “What better time? I haven’t had a good fight in ages.” I’m not tired cause I slept the entire day away. Besides, the monsters in my dreams are sometimes worse than the monsters in my life.

He shakes his head, red hair swishing on his forehead, emerald eyes widening until I can see the whites. “You’re crazy, ya know?”

My smile grows devious. “You don’t know the half of it.”