🐙Tomas🐙

Tomas stared in the mirror for a good long while. The initial glee of gaining a supernatural power had faded and now he was chewing on some complicated emotions. He was a chosen one; someone who could transform into a monster. In his case: a were-octopus. He’d heard of were-animals based on land creatures before but never an aquatic one before. He didn't know much about octopi and wasn’t sure if they were badass or not. Heck, he hadn't even been to the sea before. Surely a were-octopus was badass though, right?

“Tomas, the terror of the deep!” he gloated to the mirror in a bubbly octopus voice as he bent two tentacles into a bicep-flexing pose. Yeah definitely badass.

Now he had to figure out how to change back so that he could go tell everyone the big news! He experimented with all the new feelings, trying to find the one that let him change back. While doing so, he managed to do some cool things like change his colour and texture. He also figured out some not-so-cool things like how to shoot out a bunch of ink all over his bathroom floor. Eventually though, he found what ‘feeling’ he needed to prod to change back into his old self.

His body shifted and deformed again, reversing the changes. This time he wasn’t panicking so he paid more attention to the transformation. It didn’t hurt, it just felt weird. After a few moments, he stood back up and checked the mirror again. There he was again, good old Tomas. 22 years old, big eyes, buzzed-off hair, and the widest, toothiest smile ever, that shone extra bright against his dark skin, “Hey handsome,” he winked at his reflection, then adjusted his robes back into place, despairing at how he was going to get all of that black octopus ink out of the white material. He performed a quick inspection to make sure his body was back to normal: Two hands, check, two feet, check, bones, check. All seemed in order.

“Can’t wait to show the others!” he told his reflection as he left the bathroom and went back out into his room. He strolled over to his room’s door and tried to open it. It didn’t budge; locked. He sighed and banged on it a few times.

“What is it?” a woman's voice called out from the other side.

“Is that you, Ingrid? Open the door. I got something to show everyone!”

“It’s not your outdoor time yet.”

“I know that, but something big happened,” Tomas hesitated, he didn’t want to reveal anything yet and ruin the surprise for everyone, “Just trust me. You gotta open up.”

Several locks clicked on the door, and then Ingrid, one of Tomas’ friends, opened it and looked in at Tomas. She was a tall, muscular woman, with the same buzzed hairstyle as Tomas, “What is it? What happened to your robe?” she asked.

“Keep it secret, OK?” Tomas looked around to make sure no one else was there behind his door before leaning in for a conspiratorial whisper, “I just transformed. I’m one of the chosen”

Ingrid’s eyebrows rose, “What? How?”

“You’re not gonna believe this. The powers triggered from a video game! Look!” He spread his arms out and transformed in front of her, “Tah-Dah! I think it’s a were-octopus!” he burbled.

Ingrid stared silently for several long moments, her frown growing deeper and deeper, “Wait here, I need to contact the leaders,” she said, then slammed the door shut in Tomas’ face, locking it behind her.

“No, wait! Don’t tell anyone! I want it to be a surprise!” Tomas called out, slamming his tentacles on the door. There was no answer from the other side of his door. Ingrid was already gone.

Tomas transformed back and slumped down into his sofa. The disappointment about the surprise being ruined left him depressed for all of 30 seconds before his mood changed back to excitement. He imagined all the cool octopus things he was going to do from now on. He was going to be a celebrity among his friends!

Ingrid returned shortly, letting herself in, “Bad news," she said, "I managed to contact the head priest and the Matriarch. They are hunting overseas at the moment. I told them about your transformation and they said they'll return immediately. Not just them, they’re calling all members back here so that there can be some kind of reveal ceremony.”

Tomas’ face lit up, "Really? That’s awesome! A public reveal is as good as surprising everyone," he said. He frowned, "Why did you say that’s bad news?”

Ingrid sighed, “Because I received special instructions. I am to help you train with your new powers until they return. We must ensure that you don’t embarrass the head priest on the ceremony day.”

Tomas grew more confused. Why did Ingrid consider that bad news? Actually, why did he have to train in the first place? What could possibly go wrong at a power reveal ceremony? “Oooooh! I get it, training is hard work so you’re worried about getting tired! Don’t worry, Ingrid, I’ll be there with you every step of the way!”

Ingrid crossed her muscular arms and gave him a blank look.

“And ooooohhhh!” Tomas continued, “I think I get it now! Of course nobody wants to see me flopping bonelessly onto the stage at the ceremony. I gotta do it in style and instil the awe of octopi into everyone!” Tomas clenched his fist, “I’m pumped up! What are we waiting for, Ingrid? Let's get training!”

🎵 🎵

Rising up, back on the street,

Did my time, took my chances,

Went the distance, now I'm back on my feet,

Just a man and his will to survive,

🎵 🎵

A shaky tentacle reaches out to grab a basketball out of Ingrid’s hands. She pulls the ball just out of reach at the last second and shakes her head.

Tomas leaps into a corner and tries to camouflage himself. Ingrid walks into the room and points at him immediately.

Tomas tries to take a step forward, using his tentacles as legs. He stays standing but is trembling all over. He tries for a second step and falls to the floor in an octopus puddle.

🎵 🎵

So many times, it happens too fast,

You trade your passion for glory,

Don't lose your grip on the dreams of the past,

You must fight just to keep them alive,

🎵 🎵

Tomas slowly swings himself along some monkey bars using his tentacles to grip the bars. Ingrid comes up from behind on the monkey bars and kicks him as she passes by. Tomas falls to the floor.

Ingrid claps her hands and Tomas does a human push-up. She claps again and Tomas transforms and does an octopus push-up. She claps a third time, Tomas transforms and tries to push up but collapses on the ground, exhausted.

Tomas drinks a glass of raw eggs and then vomits them all out.

🎵 🎵

It's the eye of the octo,

It's the thrill of the fight,

Rising up to the challenge of our rival,

And the last known survivor,

Stalks his prey in the night,

And he's watching us all,

With the eye of the octo,

🎵 🎵

Ingrid walks around a room looking confused. She shrugs and then startles as Tomas uncamouflages and drops down from the ceiling. Tomas winks an octopus eye at her and then moonwalks away on his tentacles.

Tomas zooms along the monkey bars using all eight tentacles. He pats Ingrid on the back as he passes by. She tries to kick him but misses.

A shaky tentacle reaches out to grab a basketball out of Ingrid’s hands. She pulls the ball just out of reach at the last second only to find another tentacle waiting for the ball behind her. She pulls it away in another direction only to find a third tentacle reaching for the ball. Tentacles are everywhere! She screams as they all converge on her.

Tomas drinks a glass of raw eggs and then vomits them all out again.

Thus ends Tomas’ training montage.

The wind howled outside, shaking the windows of Tomas' room against their bars. Tomas was playing ‘Night Monsters’ in his room when the door opened and Ingrid let herself in. She had nice timing, Tomas was in a great mood, having just finished a round with another victory. He got up and smiled at her, “Hey Ingrid! What's up?"

"I have good news and better news for you," she said, smiling for once.

"Ooo, I'll save the best for last. Gimme the good news first," Tomas chuckled.

"Alright, the good news is I’m done. The head priest and the Matriarch returned this afternoon. After I gave them my report on your progress, the head priest deemed it passable."

Tomas frowned, "Oh really? That's cool, I guess. Weird that they didn't come to see me as soon as they got back though."

"That's part of the better news, actually," Ingrid said, her face lit up in manic glee, "They're making special preparations for your power reveal ceremony. It's been decided that at the ceremony, you will be sacrificed to the Matriarch. She's going to eat you in front of everyone to increase her power! Glory to the Matriarch!"

"...What!?"

🍕Destiny Fish and Wally🎣

“Wally said he then leapt off his boat, onto the surfboard, pants still around his ankles, and surfed around the lake for an hour, dragged along by the golden fish. He called the fish a…” Huey, the owner of the local liquor store looked up at the gathering of mourners to make sure there were no children present before quoting the obscene words Wally had used to describe Destiny Fish that day. The small group who'd gathered by lake fortune for Wally's funeral laughed, recalling his antics.

Floating among the branches of a tree nearby, camouflaged by telekinetically attached leaves, Destiny Fish watched on. Tears streamed from his eyes, “I remember that day, *sob*, it actually took nearly TWO hours to get you off that board,” He looked over at a disembodied soul floating beside him wrapped in red string, “Don’t you think that.. *sob*. Don’t you think that now would be an epic time to come back to life and freak all your friends out?” He asked the soul hopefully.

Wally’s soul floated in silence.

“...No? That’s cool bro. Take your time; no rush.” Destiny Fish sniffed back some more tears and turned back to the funeral.

Nobody had been more surprised by Wally’s death than Destiny Fish. His magic was supposed to perform miracles but it had instead done nothing; well, almost nothing.

Something strange had occurred. Something which created a small glimmer of hope. Wally’s soul had stuck about after he died. It was wrapped in red strings of destiny, tethered to Destiny Fish’s own soul by a single red thread. It now followed him around everywhere he went, like a lost puppy.

Destiny Fish was pretty sure souls weren’t supposed to do that. His understanding of the process was: "Souls are supposed to, like, break down and disperse throughout the universe, so they could become fertiliser for a God's egg or something." Since Wally’s soul wasn’t doing that, Destiny Fish figured it was probably a good sign.

Truthfully, despite being a magic fish, when it came to understanding magic in general Destiny Fish was fairly rubbish. Sure, he got the basics that came with magic-fishdom like flying, breathing in space etc. But when it came to higher concepts like souls, gods, and even his own destiny magic, it all just hurt his head so he left it alone.

It had been a very long time since destiny had used his signature magic. Destiny spells by their nature were vague and obscure. They tended to create more problems than they solved. Wally was only his second target of the [destined to meet again] spell ever. You’d think based on the spell's name that it was gonna force the universe to bend over backwards so that he and his Wally could meet again, right? His ashes were literally being spread over the lake right now! How was that supposed to happen now?

All Destiny Fish could do was hope that things were going as destined because he was missing Wally something fierce.

W🌏rld Fish

The World Fish incident

The World fish incident took place 1000 years ago on the Possum People’s home planet of Possum Planet.

“Destiny Fish!!!!” World Fish, a tiny green and blue pufferfish, screamed through the glass of a surgical operating theatre. The lifeless body of a fish on the autopsy table lay still. Its golden scales were unmistakably those of World Fish’s fellow magic fish. The Possum People scientists cutting into the corpse stopped and looked over, disturbed by the sudden shouting.

World Fish’s eyes went red. His gaze moved from the body to the scientists, “You! You land-loving, sons of…. I’ll never forgive you!” spitting out his wand, he touched the ground and roared the magic words, “SHATTERED EGG!” as tears streamed down his face.

Possum Planet shook.

On Possum Planet's third moon, the real Destiny Fish finished packing his favourite sculptures into a bubble and gave his home for the last few years one last look over, “It’s too bad they never succeeded in cloning a live version of me hey, Jonesy.”

A sentient sock puppet floating in the air alongside Destiny wriggled in agreement.

Destiny Fish sighed, “Would have been sweet to have a twin brother. Oh well, can’t win them all," he used his wand to direct his bubble of belongings to follow and flew up into space.

The sky lit up.

Destiny Fish spun around to look at the sudden light. Where Possum Planet had been only moments ago, now there was an expanding flower of shattered rock and magma, “Duuuuude! What?!” he exclaimed, his eyes going wide.

In space, no one can hear you scream. That is unless you are an upset magic fish. All throughout the Possum People’s solar system, a primal scream called out. It was filled with pain and fury. Destiny Fish heard the screams and looked for their source. He spotted a small green and blue dot zoom down to the moon he had just left and slam into with supernatural speed.

“Shattered Egg!” the voice screamed. Without stopping, it rose up off the ground and swam out into space searching for something else to destroy. It was then that Destiny Fish caught a good look.

“World Fish?? Dude! Is that you?” Destiny Fish called.

World fish startled and stopped in his tracks. He turned around slowly, breathing heavily. His eyes landed on Destiny Fish. Behind Destiny Fish, the third moon exploded, framing him in a beautiful ring of magma. At the same time, red strings of destiny magic exploded out from both World Fish and Destiny Fish. The spell [Destined to meet again] had just ended.

World Fish blinked away tears; the gears in his head spun, processing what had just happened. He thought back to the last time he had seen Destiny Fish alive.

World fish had convinced his golden comrade to expand his magical horizons and figure out what the mysterious spell, [Destined to meet again] did exactly. He had even offered to be the target. The spell was cast and nothing had happened except that Destiny Fish couldn't cast the spell again. Several experiments later, they still couldn’t figure out why. Eventually, they were forced to give up and go their separate ways, both fish getting pulled away by prior appointments. That was over 30 years ago. Somehow they had never been able to meet again that entire time. But now, here they were, floating in space together when everything seemed lost, and it all clicked into place within World Fish's mind.

The Disappearance of Goddess Fish, the infinity maze, the post office mafia, the zombie goose armies: it was all destiny magic manipulating them towards this moment.

Trying to stay stoic and failing, World Fish chortled, quickly stopping. Then he snorted and let out a loud barking laugh. He slammed his jaws shut trying to control himself. His face turned purple as his whole body shook. He held it back as long as he could before an uncontrollable rambunctious laugh spilled out his mouth.

What a brilliant spell! He thought.

For a full minute, World Fish laughed and laughed. When he eventually calmed down enough to wipe the tears from his eyes, he said, “Good to see you, Destiny Fish!” his voice was gravelly from having screamed so loudly earlier, “I guess that explains what [Destined to meet again] does hahaha.”

Destiny Fish tilted his head sideways in confusion. Understandable since he had just witnessed one of the most horrific disasters ever. And then the culprit behind the catastrophe suddenly showed up in front of him and began laughing his ass off. What was World Fish even doing in this part of the galaxy in the first place?

Well… whatever. Destiny Fish stopped thinking about it and focussed on how glad to see his buddy again after so long, “Heeey! Good to see you, dude! How you been? Yo, let me introduce you to my buddy here. This is Jonesy!” Destiny Fish gestured to his sock puppet friend.

World Fish, still giggling, eyed the puppet, “Jonesy isn’t real, Destiny Fish. Come on, enough nonsense, let’s return to Siren; we've got a lot of catching up to do,” and with that, he turned and swam off towards a distant star.

Destiny Fish watched as his sock puppet buddy unwound into destiny strings and vanished, “Duuude… I’m so confused right now!” He murmured following after World Fish.

A surveillance satellite hovered around the shattered remains of Possum Planet. The last moments recorded were of an angry, screaming, puffer fish, swimming past the lens, moments before magic tore the planet apart below.

Many years later, this satellite would be recovered by a team of Smarty historians and its contents turned into footage for a late-night shockumentary on the Smarty Television Network.