The ambassador sent to negotiate the terms of surrender had been gone for over five hours. The soldiers and knights dug trenches together arm to arm. Their classes were united together under the high powerage of the Crown. A soldier smiled as he mounted a rotating gun, while others began the installation of makeshift bomb shelters for high command. The line of fire had been placed on the outskirts of the city waiting on the deadline of the twin moon shadows.

King Edward gently followed a path set for him in the trench tapping in nails with the side of his hook. The nails quickly sunk into the wooden beams reinforcing along the trench. The smell of composting socks, soiled underwear and fresh dug soil was overwhelming. Above the operation reinforcement Knights still dropped in on ropes from hovering ships.

“Sir, a ransom letter for your mother has arrived,” said the royal messenger approaching King.

“And the return address?” he said, rising in his father's gleaming uniform.

“Killin Hood, 12345 Royal Road is listed” replied the messenger, saluting.

“Very well, I know the area,” said Edward as he hooked the letter and ripped it to pieces.

The runner scampered away, his hands covering the rear in fear.

“I’ve been waiting so long to kill that I can’t take this strategizing much longer before I snap like a spring” cried the king pacing.

He stamped down his foot.

“It’s all good trying to keep my knights safe, but the reality is my boredom is ever increasing in a land of cheap lives, where fresh bodies are birthed for my empire with every tide” he finished inspecting his attached impaling device.

General Cap ran to his leader giving the blue salute at his feet.

“Sir the Elves have accepted the offer and their ships are leaving the city to us as we speak without a fight” said the general.

“On my order then” said King.

The ships carrying the fleeing Elves who had sold their city dotted the skyline. They began to grow closer and closer until they were flying directly overhead. The magma crystals powering them crackled while sparks rained onto the trenches below. Some soldiers covered their heads with shields while their king outstretched his arms and his mouth formed a wide grin.

“Now!” he commanded.

The guns began to fire, and the Elven ships began to fall. A soldier cranked a massive anti air gun as the others around him refilled the ammo bin. A transport crashed into another blowing up in mid air. A loud whistling sound as one smashed into the big gun blowing debris in every direction with a massive explosion.

“That was close,” laughed the king.

“The fools thought currency has the same value to me as it does to them. They miscalculated as my main drive is nothing but the pure human desire to dominate all weaker beings” he finished taking out a royal rocket launcher.

He aimed for the fastest Elf ship that had almost escaped.

“Let's see how they like a crystal heat seeker missile” he said as the rocket flew into the air.

It flew across the sky dodging other projectiles flung from the empire all around. The fleeing ship was gaining speed but not as fast as the missile slowly gaining ground on the target lit by the moons overhead.

“Boom!” The missile hit and everything aboard was engulfed into an inferno.

King Edward quickly laughed. He dropped his rocket and motioned for his nearest men to climb aboard with him onto the royal car. Cap was among the knights who clung to the roof rack.

“To the city as fast as you can, for now comes my favorite thing after killing, and that is destroying pretentious art” said the king to his chauffeur.

The gang of lackeys onboard gave their best laughs. The vehicle sped forward running over a barrel of shlock, and then a stray cat.

The Elf city grew closer as the magma flamed propelling the car forward at maximum overdrive. A ramp was ahead that the drive took launching them mid air. The last Elven transport straggling out of the city flew under the car in the air. The wheels slammed down on top the air ship. Cap undid a grenade with his mouth and dropped it aboard right before the car jumped back off.

An explosion rocked behind as the car crashed to the ground rolling over back onto its wheels at a stop.

“Now where do you think we will find the museum?” asked the king after catching his breath.

“Knowing the Elves there will be art for us to destroy on every corner” laughed a knight in the back seat.

“I don’t care about the lesser stuff, I need to personally oversee the destruction of art that they have given the most awards to,” said Edward Eying hook.

They drove around slowly looking for museums, learned academies, scholarly societies, or other high art institutions to burn to the ground. Finally the large pyramid at the very heart of the city came into view. Painted on the side facing them was a mural dedicated to the art of advertising. It showed the polished bodies of the most beautiful Elf enhanced with products engineered by head corporate Elf themself.

“Oh maybe I will loot a new skincare regime for myself” Cap loudly clapped with glee from the roof.

“You will leave the darkest eyeliner for the king” scolded Edward as the vehicle came to a stop.

"What about the nail polish?" Cap inquired.

"That we can share as I don't need much with only one hand" said Edward quickly waltzing up the steps to the pyramid.

The heavy door guarding the enterprise was also a triangle. It was already unlocked and opened above their heads. A Knight covered his eyes in pain, as others looked away. Inside the pyramid everything was crystal bouncing and amplifying the outside light. Cap slammed the door behind them and the beams of light calmed enough for human eyes to see without pain.

Edward continued ahead past the front desk into an atrium that stretched to the triangles peak. A fountain of golden liquid trickled down from the mouth of giant crystal Elf in business suit.

"Ah ha now this is their most prized art of the founding father of all modern Elf" said Edward looking up.

"Now we will need the finest artist of demolition to do his work" laughed a knight.

"That's me" announced Cap running forward with his trusted satchel of things that go boom.

The others broke apart lesser art all around. The king had walked into the next room where a library of the finest books on business, advertising and self help ever written on the entire planet were being stored.

"Well well it's going to be hard work to burn all this art" he said stabbing the nearest book and leaving its corpse on the floor.

Edward returned to the lobby as Cap was wiring plastic explosives to the feet of the founding Elf CEO.

"When your ready blow this shit to nothing" cried the king.

They walked to the outskirts, as Cap ran to them with a detonator in his hand. He pulled the trigger amputating two crystal legs. The rest of the giant wobbled as the fountain sprayed the walls. In a matter of seconds the statue came crashing down into the center of the atrium kicking up a fog of dust. Most of the party was reduced to fits of coughing except for the king. His throat and lungs had already been hardened from a lot of previous crystal exposure.