《A Tail's Misfortune》B5 — 51. Week 15; Bliss Is Without Power
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Tola’s mind surfaced from the blissful sleep, unable to even play with her fluffy dreams, drifting between moments spent with White, three thousand years of memories, and these were the ones that rippled through her mindscape.
Butterflies tickled her belly, heat rising when he gave her a soft smile when it was her turn to teach Emilia, and her heart quickened when she earned an approving nod—the days they laughed together with the energetic teenage fox and her friends—how the electricity that sparked through her spine and tails prompted both of them to retreat whenever their hands would touch.
These were the thoughts that made her twist and turn in the night—the gentle words of guidance he’d offer when she was having trouble expressing something to the girls—and every night that she resisted instant gratification filled her with a level of accomplishment she’d never experienced.
When darkness met her gaze, Tola blinked in mild confusion, reflexively swallowing as her tails twitched and her fingers found her breast; she couldn’t feel any magic or even spiritual phenomena. For the first time in her life, she was utterly blind, and her groggy mind came to one conclusion.
Sora placed a shell around my spiritual and magical faculties while I slept… I’m powerless until she releases the shackles.
Relief flooded her veins as she let the silence sink in; the only thing tickling her peace was the gradual, hot breath of Emilia against her left ear, and she suppressed a giggle once realizing two of her tails were held by the girl.
I can’t look at my past memories with magic or teleport. Wait… She forced a small smile as heat entered her nose. I can’t prepare myself with magic… How long has it been since I did everything manually? Can I even do it… I need to use the restroom! She suddenly realized, a bit of anxiety rising within her as she experienced the old sensation she’d almost forgotten.
Fighting a little to get her two tails back from the resistant twelve-year-old, still engaged in her visit with her grandmother, Tola bit her lower lip and hurried out of the room, tightening her gut—she managed to make it in time, thankful that Sora hadn’t removed such facilities from the house since Founders never had such problems.
Breathing out her stress, she rubbed her temples as the magic of the toilet did its job once its user was finished, her thick, powder-blue hair draping around her face while groaning. It had been a little under three decamillennium since she’d felt this befuddled in the morning, and her body felt… oddly foreign.
Her focus shifted to the left as a quiet tap came from the door, and Mofupsi’s voice magically filtered through the passive charms that silenced each room. “I felt your distress, Tola. Is there anything you need?”
“Mmgm-hmm-hmm. Thank you, Mofupsi. I’m just thankful I managed to… Hmm. Nevermind. Is it… normal to feel this hungry in the morning?”
Mofupsi’s somewhat agitating giggle followed. “It is 4:38 in the morning, Tola, but I will slave away in the kitchen as is my duty for a guest. I suppose you’re rediscovering all sorts of embarrassing sensations now that the magic you’ve naturally cultivated throughout your life has been sealed off. Want to talk about it?”
“I would rather not,” she returned, feeling strangely stiff. “No need to rush; I’m going to take a bath… I’m not feeling…”
“Clean?” Mofuspi hummed. “I suppose you should feel a tad… icky, I suppose is a good word—something I repeatedly felt throughout the thousands of years taking your district’s place as the center of cultivating negativity…”
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Tola’s mood fell, and it was the first time she realized Mofupsi must still hold some bitterness after realizing her life of isolation, misery, and gradual madness. It had been a direct result of Tola’s predecessor and herself in their efforts to change their District; it had given Niomie a reason to institute even worse conditions in the next area, which Mofupsi’s predecessor handed on to her.
“I’m sorry…”
“Hmm? Oh, it’s no concern. Just attempting to relate,” she whispered, and Tola’s ears twitched as she heard the woman puff out a long stream of what was likely the herb she used inside her pipe. “My mistress… and new little sister has opened me up to a world I have trouble with at times, yet she is patient.”
Understanding the former Yellow Seat was lingering to talk, Tola steadied herself and disrobed before moving to the bath; it instantly filled with the magic inside the tub, and she sank into the steaming heat with the mist brushing against her face.
Mofupsi’s tails lightly thumped against the floorboards outside in a thoughtful manner; she’d noticed the action several times throughout the many meetings they’d shared over the millennia. “How can so much change in such a short amount of time? It’s… frightening,” she finished, streaming out the last word with her smoke.
Trying to relax, Tola spread her tails out within the expansive basin and sank to her chin, resting her head against the cushioned pad. “It hasn’t been too difficult for me to adapt since my District was free to explore many avenues… I can’t imagine the stress you must be under. Does the pipe help?”
“Greatly,” she chuckled, wrapping the end against the door before leaning against it. “It allows me to maintain a more… stoic attitude when something…”
Tola’s gaze drifted to the exit as she heard the woman swallow before continuing. “Have you ever had this… knot in your chest that just… keeps twisting, and it gradually moves to your belly and shoulders… turning over and over with every second?”
A somber tilt moved Tola’s mouth. “Yes, actually… Very recently. You were capable of experiencing, ahem, love within the Yellow District?”
“Haha! Tola… I thought you would realize by now, given the work my new family has put into your education, that you’d realize there is a stark difference between sex and love.”
Face flushing at the words, Tola sank further into the pool to blow bubbles; every one that hit the surface felt like a piece of her embarrassment and stress released.
“Hmm? Hehe. The difference between our Districts is hilarious sometimes,” the former Yellow Seat mused, puffing on her pipe a few times. “I’m not ready for love if I’m being honest… I don’t think I’m as strong as you, Tola.”
“Not as strong as me?” she returned, rising up a little. “All you’ve known is combat.”
“Emotionally,” she chuckled. “It’s hard enough where I am, and I suspect White is the same with you.”
Trying not to bristle at the suggestive comment, Tola shifted a little in the hot liquid. “What do you mean by that?”
“What do I mean, hmm? I could be wrong, to be honest, but I’ve had plenty of time to ponder it. I don’t think White doesn’t believe in love, Tola, as you’ve mentioned to me… I think we’re somewhat cut from the same cloth… Constantly at war with the smallest piece of trust within us that could betray us at any second…
Tola slid lower into the tub again as Mofupsi snickered, seemingly at herself, and her tone held a lost whisper that reflected her wandering heart. “We’re terrified of the vulnerability of believing in trust… trust of others… trusting ourselves to not betray others, yet… you’ve found and collided with White in his emotional abyss, sparking new light.
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“Heh. Did you know I have to smoke every morning when Emilia compliments my food, and it’s… harder than I can express to keep myself from screaming and crying… Yes, the herb helps. I’ve found a home, and I still wish to hide at times… White is finding it in you.”
She rapped her knuckles against the door with a playful giggle. “Don’t let him go, Tola… or he may just slip back into that numb darkness forever. You’ve replaced his pipe, so to speak, and without it… Well, I’d rather not think about what I’d be like if I didn’t have this crutch.”
“I can relate,” Tola mumbled, closing her eyes and picturing the gentle yet powerful aura of the kitsune. “I’ve always trusted in myself… Never have I doubted my own abilities to support those I serve… to uplift and endure any challenge, even if it was to address Niomie as the head of the Council, yet… for the first time, I’m doubting myself.”
“Mmh. What a precious feeling it must be…”
Tola’s eyebrows drew together. “Precious?”
“Hmm-hmm. The bitter-sweet sensation of discovering something so precious that you fear messing it up,” Mofupsi whispered with a short chuckle. “I have that same irrational feeling every morning… What if I make a mistake when cooking or say something that makes my little mistress cry? It winds my heart into a knot, squeezing out rationality.”
“Eh-hehe. I guess we’re all a mess?”
“A mess you may be, but one White cannot keep his eye off of, and there is your key inside that locked heart. Keep the flame lit for him to find you in the dark. I’ll have breakfast ready for you. Try not to enjoy the heat for too long. Hehe.”
Tola’s mind drifted with Mofupsi’s words, studying the tips of her nine tails as they poked through the surface; she did fear meeting White without her powers, but she was more terrified of him slipping away.
I can do this… What’s my pipe? A small smile lifted her lips as she sank into the water, discovering a sweet dew on her tongue with her floating hair tickling her cheek. White is my pipe and my fear.
Soaking for five more minutes, she steeled her resolve and exited the tub, drying off; Tola knew White would try to run after Sora called him and tried to drain his magic, and a piece of her wanted to let him because she didn’t trust herself, but Mofupsi was right, she couldn’t let him slip back into that numbing void.
I have to make the move to show him he is worth loving… that we can trust each other!
Mofupsi wasn’t making it easy on her with sly comments regarding the various foods she was preparing, such as sausage ‘slipping,’ while mentioning her wearing a robe that could easily do the same on their ‘outing,’ which she had a particular vocabulary for that had her brain steaming by the time she plopped them on her plate, tails weaving with the utmost enjoyment at their time together.
Tola kept returning to the many romance shows Sora and Emilia had shown her over the last few months, attempting to educate her on the courting process. It had been hard enough being in the same teaching environment, and the few times they’d been alone on weekends, she’d felt more hot, humid, and twitchy than every experience in her thirty thousand years of life combined—never had she felt ‘disgusting’ until these last few weeks. The devious former Yellow Seat had an unnerving understanding of the sensations that gripped her belly.
Fortuitously, Emilia woke up around 6 a.m. to join them—her ‘deadbeat’ mom sleeping in—and Mofupsi turned her attention to her little niece and mistress; it was Tola’s turn to go on the offensive, making the tight-lipped woman’s features crack, and it was so devilishly satisfying to see her stiffening tails and ears.
“Emilia, what do you think of Mofupsi’s cooking this morning; oh, and how was your time with your grandmother?”
Mofupsi choked, coughing a bit.
“Hmm?” the bright-eyed pre-teen took a bite of her sausage and cooed. “She’s the best! Did you know she wakes up before me every morning; I’ve never caught her sleeping once—I don’t think—and Grandma was just… kyah! Amazing! She’s so pretty, and I love her freckles—did you know she has freckles like me?!”
“No! I only met her at your mother’s birthday, but it was very brief.”
“Ahem,” Mofupsi puffed out a heavy stream of sapphire smoke before smirking at her. “She means she was too busy looking at White.”
“Ooh! I bet you were,” Emilia snickered, grinning at her.
Tola kept her smile, trying as hard as she could to not remember that day and their short time alone together; two of her tails twisted around each other as the rest hid the action. “What about the sweets you made together, Emilia; how was the chocolate you two baked? I thought it was divine.”
“Yes! We should make more tonight, Moppy! Baking spree! Huuu!” she sucked in air as if just realizing something. “Hearts and kisses to celebrate Tola’s first date! She’ll knock White’s ears back and make his tails lower—oh, and Moppy’s the best with the cake designs!”
“Ack!” Tola coughed, seeing Mofupsi’s own tails twisted and fingers shaking. “Y-Yeah… ask him out… No problem.”
“You are?! Where—what do you have planned?! Tell! Tell!”
“Yeah, Tola, where?” Mofupsi grinned, but her tails were still wrapped into a bundle. “Somewhere quiet and secluded?”
“Huh?” Tola didn’t realize the girl was just fantasizing, face steaming. “Umm…”
“A walk in the Ruby City—the Flower Trail—it’s perfect for a romantic walk!”
Mind beginning to spin, Sora came floating down the stairs to her rescue.
“Hehe. Hey now, let’s not kill her, Emi. The fun is hearing it after and talking about it throughout the day. Moppy…” she huffed, glaring at the sausages to the woman’s helpless shrug.
“Anyway, while I go talk to White and set him up to be ambushed at our door—just a warning, Tola,” she added, making the girl’s daughter snicker, “why don’t you and Emi find something date-worthy in her endless collection since, uh, you’re kind of locked out of your wardrobe without magic.”
The realization made Tola’s mind blank as Emilia cheered, taking her hand and guiding her upstairs to their room.
“And I wanna know all about your visit with Grandma later, Emi!” Sora called after them as her daughter rolled her eyes.
“Yeah, well, peekers don’t get secrets, Mom!”
Totally lost, she heard Sora balk back, “Huh?! She did not tell you that!”
“Grandma’s cool! Unlike some peepers who just ask like normal people while spying on their daughter’s journal!”
The girl got to the back of the stairs before taking her back downstairs to make an ‘I’m watching you’ leery gesture at her mother. “We’ll talk later,” she hissed, pointing at her mom’s ruby bracelet in a way that said she was keeping it for the time being.
Leaving the stunned ‘frisbee’ and snickering ‘maid’ in the kitchen, Emilia took her into a whirlwind of outfits as Sora left to set up White; anxiety bubbled inside her stomach, and partway through, her sausages didn’t agree with her.
Emilia dutifully held her hair over the toilet as she gagged, offering words of encouragement to stay strong. She’d do her makeup after finding an outfit; she’d been practicing with her great aunts, and her grandmother had given her the perfect tutorial.
Tola mentally checked out completely by the time the girl was grooming her tails—she couldn’t do this; she couldn’t ask him out—how did the shows make it look so easy? Surely, they hadn’t gone through this gut-wrenching terror she felt that made her want to hide in the bathtub, below cold—very cold—water, maybe replaced with ice due to how hot and messy she felt.
The bubbly little pre-teen was a blessing as she guided her through getting ready, and after an hour, she was in a knee-high black summer dress that went to a starry deep-blue. She chose a matching choker on prompt that Emilia put on herself, saying the whole family would wear one for support.
A friendship charm on her right wrist, a little eyeliner with a few other details Tola couldn’t follow regarding Earth fashion that Mia had taught the girl, and sandal wedges that arched her feet completed her look until Emilia decided it didn’t.
The bouncing eight-tailed vulpes extracted a white gold anklet before saying she’d almost forgotten the most important part, a manicure, and proceeded to magically produce a bottle to do it herself rather than use her Founder abilities.
By the time Sora signaled Emilia that her task was done—and that she wanted to die from overheating—Wendy had joined their group, performing a few more touch-ups with her makeup and complimenting the beaming girl on her hard work.
Oddly, Tola’s pattering heart settled when she stood in front of the mirror, holding a bag that apparently had all the items she may need as an unmagical vulpes woman. “Wow… the black really does bring out my turquoise eyes.”
“I told you you’re gorgeous,” Wendy chuckled, sitting on Emilia’s bed as she bounced up and down nearby, still wearing her pajamas.
“Totally gorgeous! White’s going to faint—I bet he does—remember that show we watched where that happened? Kyaah! I want him fainting on video!”
“Calm down a little, Emi,” Wendy snickered. “You okay, Tola? Nervous jitters?”
Tola’s eyes widened, a giggle shaking her chest as she turned and nodded, playing a little with her curled hair before examining the frosty fingernail polish Emilia used. “That’s the word that’s escaped me… jittery. Heh. Do you really think White’s and my auras will be suppressed if our magic and spiritual faculties are imprisoned?”
Wendy grinned and held up her hands. “Fingers crossed! Sora’s worked pretty hard to make sure it happens—I’m a bit shocked anything can burn that infinite battery of hers. It’s good to see her exhausted every once in a while… Makes her feel a little more reachable.”
“Mom sucks,” Emilia huffed, making her aunt lift a curious eyebrow. “Let’s just be happy with Tola! It’s almost time!”
“Sora’s on the crap list, I see,” Wendy hummed. “Hehe. I’m down with the cold shoulder today for your mom, and I want details about your visit with Grandma—well, your grandma—but, yeah, let’s go to the door, Tola. It’s time,” she smiled.
Forcing down the saliva in her mouth, she took one last calming breath before going to the door with Wendy, Emilia, and a pipe-smoking Mofupsi; her entertained former colleague couldn’t be nervous for her, right?
“Good luck, sensei!” the pre-teen encouraged, using one of the many various names she liked.
Wendy held up a thumb. “Just breathe and have fun; it’ll become natural after a few minutes. Just let things flow.”
Mofupsi streamed out a cloud of the cobalt-hued herb and offered a light, tight-lipped nod.
It really was time, and the door swung in as Sora swung it open, looking as if she’d just expended every ounce of energy, yet she still managed to flash her teeth and say, “Operation Pearly White is going to be a success!”
“Tola?” White whispered, taking a step back, but Tola found her body acting on its own, following his retreat. “What… is this?”
“White, umm…” Tola swallowed and held her purse against her tight stomach; the swirl inside her breast wasn’t like the aura-induced madness she’d felt, making her smile. “I… really like you. Would you go on a date with me—a, umm… a walk around the city… maybe?”
“Umm…” White’s fervent gaze shifted from her to Sora, Wendy, Emilia, and Mofupsi before returning to her—all of her—making Tola blush, but he released a tight stream of air and chuckled, rubbing his neck. “Well… how can I refuse when you look so enchanting… Can I add one caveat?”
Tola’s fingers locked against her purse strap, looking for guidance from Sora as she nodded with a helpless, tired sigh, and Tola repeated the action.
“W-What caveat?”
White closed his eyes, ran his hands over his mouth, and breathed one last time before smiling and holding out his other hand. “Tola, I will go on this date with you if you will give me one dance by the end of the night.”
Her heart was a caged bird freed, and she nodded without thinking, giggling at how easy it was compared to the shackles that bound her lungs leading up to this moment. “Yes… I’d love that.”
Sparks jumped her pulse as their fingers touched, and he nodded at the smiling onlookers in the doorway before leading her onto the cobblestone road. Unfortunately, her anxiety caught up with her several steps later.
We’re holding hands… Did he take my hand… willingly? What do I do? Where is he taking me? Why is this too easy? What do I do?! Help!
Looking back, she saw Emilia pumping her fist in the air before pointing at her choker—all of them wore it—and Tola mirrored her action, free fingers touching the leather; suddenly, she didn’t feel so alone. They’d done all of this for her, and their hearts were still with her.
Anxiety melting away, she smiled and looked back at her handsome date, returning the look as he took her into a magical realm she’d never experienced.
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