《Learn How To Love》Teenage Stargazing
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"(Y/N)?" Steven got your attention.
"Oh- sorry," you said, "what were we talking about?"
"I'm leaving town?"
"Right. That," you sighed.
Steven's gaze softened; "Are.. you okay?"
'Not really,' is what you wanted to say. You wanted to tell him that the reason you wanted to stay in Beach City was him, but now... he was leaving. But of course now you can't tell him how you feel or you might hold him back. Every option felt like the wrong thing. You could leave Beach City and potentially never see Steven again, you could let Steven leave Beach City and... potentially never see Steven again, or you could tell Steven how you feel about him- and who knows how that could go.
"Earth to (Y/N)?" Steven gently waved a hand in front of your face. "What's up?"
"Nothing, I just..." you paused.
What to do, what to do... definitely don't make him feel bad for leaving.
"I'll miss you."
Agh, shit.
Steven smiled warmly- bittersweetly; "Well I'm not gone yet."
You let yourself melt in his gaze, his warm brown eyes reminding you of smooth chocolate and hot coffee. There was so much behind those eyes of his. A small twinkling light- hope, care, warmth, love-
"Come on," Steven said- abruptly getting up.
"What?" You snapped out of your trace. "Where are we going?"
"Does it matter?" Steven smacked a 50 on the table and grabbed your hand before making a run out the door- smiling mischievously all the while.
"Steven!" You hollered over the sound of the whistling wind past your ears. "What are you doing?!"
He didn't respond until you had both reached his car completely out of breath.
"We're going on an adventure," Steven whispered dramatically, looking up into space.
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"Okay, get in," he said, coming back to earth and unlocking the Dondai.
You got in the passenger seat and noticed all of the little knickknacks Steven had collected. Some loose change in the cup holder, one of those silly dashboard hula dancers, a rubber duck in the storage compartment... you made up stories and anecdotes in your mind for each souvenir you found. The boy waited for you to buckle your seatbelt before the car began to move. Safety first, he said.
Minutes felt like hours as the two of you drove down endless stretches of pavement- talking about everything and nothing all at once. You let yourself become a cliché when you put your hand out the window and let it surf through the air, closing your eyes and not thinking- just feeling. The two of you listened to simple songs plucked on acoustic guitars and discussed seemingly every topic on the face of the earth-all the while you were both thinking how lucky you were to exist at the same time.
"Woah," you breathed, staring out your window, "just look at those stars."
Steven glanced at you and smiled. Even though the only thing he wanted to look at was you, he did his best to keep his eyes on the road.
Though, that proved to be too much for him as he pulled over less than a minute later.
"What are we doing?" You asked once the car had stopped.
Steven didn't respond, he only smiled at you as he got out of the car. You followed and opened your door to the cool, crisp, summer air. There was something special about summer at night. Something familiar and sweet.
Your thoughts were interrupted by the sounds of thumping metal atop Steven's car. You looked up and saw none other than Steven himself- kneeling on top of his car extending his arm out to you.
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"Come on," he said- making a lil' grabby hand gesture with his outstretched arm. You took his hand and fumbled your way onto the car over the hood. You laughed in relief once you finally sat up next to him- after almost falling on your ass several times.
You laid back, forming a pillow for your neck with your intertwined fingers. Steven followed suit.
The two of you laid side by side in comfortable silence for what both felt like an eternity and no time at all. You breathed in the nighttime air and let it out, feeling so exhilarated and relaxed all at once. Steven couldn't help but stare at the view laying next to him while you looked at the stars.
"This is nice," you muttered. Although you barely went above a whisper, you had gotten so used to the quiet of the night that your own voice surprised you.
"Yeah," Steven sighed and followed your gaze up to the stars. "Makes me feel like a teenager."
You laughed quietly; "You are a teenager."
"Well yeah, but I don't really ever get to feel like one," he replied.
You let a few moments of silence pass.
"I'm sorry."
"What? Why?"
"You... you must've grown up under so much pressure," you said. "I mean, you're nineteen and you don't get to feel like this? Just- reckless, impulsive, and free..."
"Well... that's sort of why I'm leaving."
"What?"
Steven sighed; "I didn't even realize how stifled I was growing up until..." he looked at you and decided not to finish the thought.
"I know now that I can't be there for everyone all the time," he continued. "No matter how much I want to be. It's not healthy." He paused, surprised at himself for opening up like that. "Sorry, I didn't mean to dump all that on you."
"No, no," you quickly replied, "please continue."
"I just... keep falling into my old habits, you know?" Steven sighed. "I mean, how can I not? This place, these people... they're the reason I am who I am, of course I can't move on. I can't change when I stay in the place that made me who I am. It's like riding a bike in the sand."
"Exactly," you breathed.
It was quiet.
"Well what about you?" Steven asked, finally turning to face you.
"What about me?" You locked eyes.
"What are you gonna do with the money?"
"Well, It'll sound like I'm copying you," you hinted and laughed.
Steven laughed; "You too?"
"Yeah," you chuckled. "Well, maybe."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, that's what I planned to do, but... I don't know," you hesitated and looked up to the sky.
"What's stopping you?"
"I..." you took a breath, "I guess I've warmed up to the town, and..." you looked at Steven, "the people in it."
His eyes locked onto yours, and he silently wondered if you were saying what he hoped you were saying. Steven unknowingly began to move his face closer to yours slowly...
"Wait," you blinked. "I have an idea."
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