《Artist's Nightmare》Goodbye, Eddie
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Even the toughest creature in the world hides its soft and vulnerable side. That is the truth about everything living. Sometimes, we let this part of ours wither, but it never truly dies. It was the same with the Resident. When I first saw them, they looked like a menacing creature, taller than any living human. Now when I saw them twitching and struggling on the ground, they were hardly the size of a six-year-old. Even Archer was bigger. When I think back, I always feel bad for them. If I had the opportunity to re-live my past, I would probably offer to save them, or just toss them into the Void and let them live. But unfortunately, back then, I wasn't the same person. I was vicious. I felt so much anger, mostly at myself, and redirected it towards them. They caused destruction and the death of so many people, but compared to me, which one of us was the bigger monster? I think we both know the answer to that. Nevertheless, I cannot take back what already happened.
"So what's it gonna be?" I asked again while they struggled to put out the flames that only kept growing stronger.
"No! No no no no no! I can't die here! I can't! I've been through so much! I've lived for billions of years! No mortal can comprehend it! It can't end like this! No!"
"Is that how you want to spend your last moments? By fighting a battle you can no longer win?"
"I'm sorry. I never should've come here. I never should've killed anyone. You can have it all. World, the people, their lives, anything. Please..."
"You're right. You never should've come here. But that doesn't change a thing. You never should've been born in the first place. None of you should've. This whole cycle is sick. You tempt the mortals, you invade worlds, and you cause nothing but suffering. Why should I feel bad for you?"
"I know now. I know what danger awaits in those worlds. How terrible you Gods can be."
"You know nothing. How many millennia will it take before you are bored again? How many before you start invading again? Before you start killing again? And even if I let you live, some other Resident will just gobble you up and use you to become even stronger. Don't you get it? Your existence, no matter in what form, will always only cause harm to people! That's all you are! A suffering incarnate!" They didn't speak about the matter any longer. I watched them struggle against the flames until their arms burned away.
"Can I ask something of you?"
"Ask something? What position do you think you are in?"
"A dying one. And isn't it a custom of you mortals to make one final wish come true?"
"It's a mortal custom, yes. Not yours."
"I upheld it. I always did, you know."
"I don't believe you."
"Adam Jasper - to see his hometown one last time. Jessica Rolth - to have one final meal with her family. Muso Poli - to die in a fair swordfight. Roko Kirtishani - to hug his son. Edith Fair - to..."
"You remember those you killed?"
"Not by a long shot. Most die too quickly. But some survive. Some ask that final favour. And I see no reason to keep that away from them."
"Fine, what is your final request? But if it's something stupid, you will get jack shit from me."
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"Smartie. Remember him?"
"Smartie?"
"Jack."
"What about him?"
"Take care of him."
"You mean like you didn't?"
"Yes. I was desperate for company. I kept him with me but I never really cared about him as a person. Only what he represented. A memento. He didn't deserve that. He wished for death. Tried to achieve it too. I always kept it from him. I want him to get that spark in his eyes again. The one he had when I first saw him. But I never knew how to bring that back. You do though. Please, bring back the Smarty I met in this city."
"Fine. I will take care of him. But not because you told me to. I want to save this world and bring people back. He is included in that plan. What you want, I would do either way."
"Good. But please, don't be mistaken. Those you bring back will never be the same. Perfect copies, but not the people who have already departed."
"That is the same thing. They will still be those I created."
"Fuck. If you can't see that difference anymore, then there is really no more hope for you. Do as you wish. The game starts and I only wonder if someone else will become the leading player."
Out of nowhere, spikes erupted from the ground beneath the creature. They pierced their body and pulled them into the air. I saw the flames disappear as the thorns smothered them. Soon after, grange liquid started to drip down from the now motionless body. When the wind began blowing again, the tendrils started turning to dust, carrying their creator along with them. The entire Everstar, filled with black thorny buildings, seemed like nothing but a sandcastle that was now being washed away by the sea. I watched it all go away. Every building there slowly disappeared into the wind and scattered. I was alone, standing in the middle of nowhere, happy. I won. I saved my world. It was all finally over.
With a snap of my fingers, I returned back to Sunwalley. The thorns there were also gone by the time I arrived. The desert was restored to its previous empty glory. The corpses that used to hang impaled on the spikes were now filling the streets. I burned them as I walked by, assuring them that the one who did it to them died filled with regret and sorrow. Some part of me hoped that wherever their souls were, it made them feel at least a tiny bit more at peace.
Finally, once I was done with the stray corpses, I reached the only house that was still intact. If Jack would still be anywhere in Sunwalley, it would be here. Without anything holding me back, I entered the place and started looking around. There was nothing one could call furniture, only piles of wood and junk which might've once served a purpose in this building.
"Hey, Jack? Are you in here? Are you still alive?" I called out to the empty room. "It's okay now. The Resident is dead. The world is saved."
"So what?" a faint voice came from somewhere in the next room. I went in to investigate and found the once terrifyingly strong man sitting in one of the corners, hands wrapped around his knees, which we pushed all the way to his chest. He was sitting on a large pink pillow, which for some reason was the only thing here that wouldn't be completely torn apart.
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"I thought you were gonna be happier. You're free now. I will fix everything. You'll get your family back."
"Nothing can bring them back Eddie."
"Sure, I can. Haven't you seen it? I can do anything."
"You can't bring people back."
"Wanna see?"
"What result do you think it will have?"
"Well, you'll get your previous life back."
"Nothing can give me back what I once had."
"Dude, what the fuck has gotten into you?"
"He did."
"He?"
"The Resident."
"Oh come on, you know they are just a lying pile of shit. You can't trust anything they say."
"But what he said makes sense."
"Okay, what did they say, amuse me."
"Whatever you'll create, it will never be the same."
"Oh no, not that bullshit again."
"It's not bullshit! Think about it. My wife and daughter will come back, but will they remember what happened? If so, then it will be a life of nightmares. And if they won't, then what will happen to me? They will just wake up with memories of the past we never actually spent together and find me a broken man. Everyone you'll bring back will just have fabricated memories. No actual lives. Just homunculi living as people."
"How is that different from what you have now, huh? How do you know that my stories didn't just fabricate your memories?"
"I don't. But I believe they didn't."
"Then believe me when I tell you that I can make things right. They will still remember what a great person you were before Ifrit came along."
"Heh, you spent so much time in the Void, and yet you still feel so much hope."
"Why shouldn't I? I am immortal now. I can kill Residents. The rest of my existence will be here, with you guys. I will be a better God this time around. I will make sure there is no unnecessary suffering. I will..."
"Why must you be so blind."
"What? You want the suffering?"
"It's a cycle, Eddie. A world gets born with rules that create both good and bad. Life thrives and eventually perishes. And the Residents are like the gardeners who come to harvest and pluck out worlds that are overripe. But you're breaking the cycle. How do you propose you will keep us from suffering? Will you kill those who want to wage wars? Will you turn into a killer god? Or will you maybe take away our ability to be cruel altogether and strip away a piece of our free will? And when the Residents come and cause more suffering and killing, will you just go resurrecting again and make death obsolete?"
"I don't know."
"Exactly. Maybe sometimes the best thing to do is nothing. You saved this world. There are still people who will live happily ever after. I don't need to be one of them. You can just go and enjoy living among them. No need to change things, to serve us. These worlds had been fine without you."
"So you yourself stole my powers back then to kill Ifrit and fix things and now you want to just let it all be?! You want to make my whole journey worthless?! You want everyone who died to just stay dead with their lives wasted?!"
"I don't want that, Eddie. But it is the right thing to do."
"Fuck that! They didn't deserve to die!"
"And right now, do you want to save them for their sake or for your own?"
Veins popped up on my forehead. I was steaming. After all this time, the one person who I thought would support me was telling me that I should just let things stay devastated and lives destroyed. No, I simply wouldn't have it. No matter what he told me, I had a vision for this world and I wouldn't let some single man take it from me. In my mind a world of wonder took shape. Sunwalley restored, the Deaths brought back to maintain the balance of life. Everstar mended into its past glory. I could bring it all back. My eyes closed and I visualized it all, completely blocking out whatever Jack was telling me. My fingers moved into position. One final snap and the world would be back just as it was before. All my mistakes erased. Finally, I would be free.
Pain shot through my chest. An incredible pain, yet so familiar. My eyes flew open, only to see a thin dark spike going through my back and out the other side. I looked over to Jack, who stood there with his eyes wide open and arms pressed against the wall as if he had hoped that he would push it away and escape.
"So, it came to this," I heard the voice of the Resident, followed by the sound of shifting sand. Then, moments later, a formless drop of dark goo dug its way through the gaps in the floorboards and formed into a small figure, not bigger than a doll.
"I can't believe I'm actually doing this. Look at me. I'm losing my touch. Who knows, maybe I'll just finish you off and reabsorb this little thing like nothing ever happened. But... well, maybe not. And it's always better to be safe than sorry. I know you are coming, Edward Wright. And I've seen what gods like you can do. One could say you are our natural enemies. My life was already at risk once when a different god tried to protect her creations from me. Took me millennia to recover. So this time, I'm making sure that I have a plan B. If you can hear this, then congratulations, you bested me. And who knows, maybe you're not dead even now. Maybe I missed or you dodged and now I will embarrass myself. But let's just pretend I didn't. Do you wonder how this is possible? I hid one of my organs beneath this building. Maybe you killed the real me, but this tiny bit remained and as long as that did, I can be reborn. Sure, it will take me a while. Maybe the world won't even last that long for me to see it again. But oh well, one can hope, right? How did I know you'd be here? Well, I didn't. But this big pillow is something I always gave to Smarty when he seemed sad. If everything goes according to plan, he will come to look for it once everything is over. And you will come looking for him, I will make sure of that. After all, you wouldn't deny a dying creature their final words, right? But do yourself a favour, Eddie. Don't die with regrets. You did things one couldn't even dream of. I mean, this whole rollercoaster of a journey is something one should write down. But it's better if it ends this way. So if everything worked out, and you are indeed dying, just do so in peace, okay? It's like... You get a second-place medal. It's still admirable. You still have me in awe. But the trophy, your world, goes to me. Goodbye, Edward. I'm gonna go get ready to meet you now. I wonder what sort of a person you will be."
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