The passing weeks snuck up on him faster than he realized, he worked as hard as he could to show progress, but Sepul still wouldn’t extend work hours.

But for now, he was in the dungeon.

Subject 1 had expired after Harlan tore apart his soul just to test his transformation magic as well as how he could possibly make an item or spell able to do long range communication.

Subjects 2 through 8 expired as Harlan tested how the soul reacted when the rest of it disconnected.

There was only one way to really disconnect someone from the web that he knew of, and he did try it without killing the men.

“Did you learn anything new from that?”

“Yes, that little piece that holds the connection can survive being taken out and when it regenerates they both connect, but if the main soul dies it seems to send a signal out and both parts are removed from the network.”

“And any progress on the communicators?”

“I have two ideas, either a box that holds blood crystals and enchanted in a way to obfuscate the way the spell works, basically acting as a soul speak translator to stop white noise attacks from happening. If the crystal is small enough even then if the crystal was held by a hostile party the effect would be very faint. Here, do it to this one.”

Harlan felt tha pang but instead of a crippling pain it was like a fly biting on his forehead.

The crystal itself was the size of the nail on his pinkie finger.

“I must test this myself, you have too much of a tolerance for pain.”

Sepul was putting a lot of trust in Harlan and Harlan knew it, he handed him a crystal the same size as his and Harlan attacked it.

“It is… Uncomfortable, but still safe. What is the second idea?”

“As I said before, the part of the soul that has a connection to the web can exist in multiple places at once… We should actually check that range, what is the farthest safe place you can take me?”

“Tell me when you are ready and I will use a gate.”

“Wait what? Why use a gate?”

“Because teleportation isn’t all powerful, if I use a gate I have more range.”

“Really? You took us from here back to my parents farm and that is what, 1000 miles? Close to it?”

“796 actually. Now get to work, it will be 5 before you know it.”

“On that note, I could go until 6:30 you know? I just need to be back in time to shower.”

“5 will remain our time. You aren’t the only reason I set that time. And stop with that girl, you’ve done enough for her already, she will only lead to more pain.”

He had been trying to get Harlan to stay away from Adina for a while now, though they never let it turn into a longer conversation, just remarks back and forth.

“You said it yourself, I have too much of a tolerance for pain. I’m ready by the way.”

Sepul grabbed Harlan by ear and pulled him into the gate.

“Ow ow ow… Whoa. Where are we?”

It was a forest of crystal, each tree was an exact copy of every other, they were all planted in perfect rows, each had the exact same plants around it.

Snow fell in perfect blankets and each flake had the same exact pattern, it blew away from the ground in the exact same pattern every time to make the air dazzle.

It was perfect, everything in its order, but Harlan also felt that it was wrong, the forest for all its beauty was too simple, there were no hills, no tree held a bird nest, no foxes had dug burrows under the trees for their young, no tree held signs of deer or wolves rubbing against it.

“This is the forest of crystal, this is where I met with Cecht for the first time, where I became his champion. It is both the closest and farthest place in the world. Space here is both everywhere and nowhere. Has the connection been broken?”

“No, it is stable, close the gate and let’s see if that changes it.”

Everything remained the same, but Harlan wanted to leave immediately, he could feel the eyes on him.

What he thought was the sun descended onto the forest, its wings dulled so he could see him.

“I have seen this soul before? Sepul, what is this doing here?”

“He is working under me to achieve better communication across this world.”

“A noble goal, yet he is one of her’s. I have helped piece him together once before. Boy, what are you to her? Speak truth to me, for I shall see every lie you make.”

The sleepy eyes opened fully and Harlan knew that Cecht could see everything.

“She wants me to be her champion, I don’t know why, but she has protected me in the past, though I do not trust her, I believe she wants me to have a good life.”

“She holds no champion that has ever been anything but chaos, I should root you out before yo-”

The sky turned to a pitch black that seemed to eat away at his light. A tower rose in the distance and it kept rising and rising, Harlan could see it shift and tilt and become other things.

She was the transient god, the tower of teeth and claw, the thing of a million eyes and tongues, a thousand more names described her and yet none of them were right or wrong.

“Brother, you shall speak no more to him. Please… I do not wish us to come to blows once more… I cannot bear to spare you once more knowing you would destroy him.”

The sphere of wings and light shrunk in size as he cowered before his big sister.

“Then there shall be no sundering of souls on this day. Take him from my garden and never return with him again, Sepul.“

A gate opened for both of them even though they were both going to the same place.

Harlan went through Sepul’s gate along with him, he didn’t trust Cecht.

“That could’ve gone worse.”

“Yes, if she kills him I will die with him. I would rather not have that happen.”

“I’d rather you not die either.”

Harlan felt a pang of happiness from the old man.

“Finish explaining the idea behind that second method.”

“Right. The amulet itself would drain that little bit of the soul and then hold it, because of this system each amulet or whatever it is could slot potentially thousands of connections without issue and if those defenses were ever breached it could detonate that pseudo soul to stop others from being able to use it for a massive white noise attack. It could be so simple a child could use it and safe enough that even the king wouldn’t need to worry about what happens when someone’s amulet is stolen.”

“That sounds perfect, what do you need for that?”

Harlan slumped his shoulders.

“I still can’t connect with the web of souls. I would need to make a spell that can find and gather just that single part of the soul without having to make a living item, which I think I can do. But none of it matters until I get that connection to the web to work.”

“You’ve only been at this for a few weeks. Don’t lose hope just yet, I will request more prisoners for tests. I should also ask, do you want to speak with Mary? I don’t know how you are holding up after killing those men but if it weighs on you then seek her out.”

“That is an option?”

“Mary cannot be intimidated, she cannot be bribed, every word you say to her will be between just you and her. The headmaster might be told something if you express a desire to harm another student, but even that would be left to her.”

“Is she an archmage?”

“Yes, though she doesn’t openly live as one, so please don’t tell her I told you. She believes if others know what she is then they wouldn’t feel as confident when speaking with her, she is a kind young woman, not a god of the battlefield like me.”

He left ‘anymore’ unsaid.

“Yet there is something else you want to say?”

“I must confess, that empathic ability of yours is somewhat bothersome, but… I would like to have dinner with you. I think that we both need a real talk with one another.”

“You mean without me being drugged?”

“Yes, that whole affair was quite unfortunate, and I hope that you will still take me up on my offer.”

“Fine, tonight?”

“I have preparation to make, I will give you 3 days warning before we gather. In the meanwhile, I would like to take you to your parents farm, I am told you will be headed there in two weeks time.”

It was a somewhat hollow gesture, it didn’t hurt Harlan’s wallet in any way to pay for a gate, but both of them knew that, it was the fact that he had tried anything that led to Harlan believing he wasn’t as bad as he thought.

Harlan killed the 9th and 10th at the same time to see if it changed anything, it was just another failure to connect with the web, but one was a baby killer and the other a cannibal.

5 on the dot, Sepul sent Harlan back to his room and then drafted a letter to his friend with what they had done so far.

Harlan was, in reality, acting as a second mind, the brother he gave up was reading all of his notes and trying to do what Harlan was doing.

The royals had gained quite a lot from the soul born of Harlan’s, but it lacked some of Harlan’s instinct with souls, it lacked some of his creativity, it lacked his sometimes very specific knowledge like what happened with the soldier and the blood crystals.

After a tonic washed down with a hot cup of tea Harlan entered the shower to wash himself, he did think of going to Mary, but he didn’t actually feel that bad.

He stopped vomiting after a week, the constant sight of blood on his hands went away after the second week, it deeply worried him that it didn’t worry him anymore.

He stepped from the shower and got ready for the day, he had 30 minutes to kill, so he decided that he was going to finally talk to her.

“Lugh, I’ll pick you up for breakfast, but I am going to talk to Mary.”

On the way he found a group of boys were looking at him, they seemed to be related and also vaguely familiar, but he couldn’t place them.

He stopped to feel if she was inside her office, it was his last chance to back out.

He was sure that she knew he was there, but she didn’t rush to the door so he would feel forced to come inside, she simply walked around to prepare a plate of cookies and put on a pot of water before sitting on the couch.

He didn’t want her efforts to go to waste, so he knocked on the door and she told him to come in.

“Would you like some tea and cookies?”

“What can I tell you?”

“There is no man who can force words from my mouth, neither kings nor those who call themselves gods evoke fear from me.”

“How can I know?”

She placed a bottle on the table, Harlan knew what it was, Sepul had warned him how to spot such a thing.

“I could take a sip of truth potion, it wouldn’t last long, but it would let you get a few answers from me.”

“Why are you going so far?”

“Regardless of what you might think, I simply want to help people. I want you to see yourself as a person and not as a monster, I want everyone to get past their issues so we can live in a better world. I know it is foolish and naive, but I want to believe that this is a world worth saving from itself, and I believe that I can help you save yourself so you can save others.”

“I just don’t see it, I am a monster and if you knew what I have already done you would agree, I don’t get you.”

“I have killed men, I have put heads on pikes as a cruel show of force, I have killed out of anger, of sorrow, of simply foolishness, I have learned the hard way what being a monster is. I hope that you understand me so that you can avoid my mistakes and be the better of the two of us someday.”

“Fine, drink the potion and repeat that again.”

Yet not a single word changed.

“Damnit…”

“You are disappointed by me being honest, why?”

“How can you sound so kind, how can you push back your demons so they don’t show. From what you’ve said I just feel like I’ve failed to be that better person I want to be.”

“You cannot hide your demons, they will claw and bite and kick and punch, they break through your barriers and reveal themselves. You can just accept what you have done and understand why, it took me many years to understand it, but sometimes good people are forced to do bad things, sometimes good people fail to see what they are really doing. Do you want to talk about it now?”

Harlan went over the experiments, the lives he had taken, his reasons for it, the disconnection he tried to set up so it didn’t feel like he was the one doing it all.

Tears fell from his eyes as he recalled everything he had done, everything he could never tell anyone else about.

Mary simply sat and listened until he was done.

“I can’t tell you every answer, but from what you’ve said, you already know what you want to be, but you feel forced to accept your position for the sake of your family’s safety. I am going to be honest, and I know you might not like to hear this answer. Are you actually doing anything wrong?”

“What?”

“You know what these men you’ve used are, they are vile beasts in human skin, they kill and rape and do whatever they please because they are strong and their victims are weak. Your problem is empathizing with them as human beings, you know right from wrong and you cannot see killing as just, but what other options do you have? If they were left to rot in a cell or tortured to death then you would never have to bear the weight of their lives, but how much good would come from your work? I do not regret the killings that I have done when it was to save lives, I do not regret the killing I have done to lessen the suffering of those who would never recover from attacks against them. There is no path of no harm, only a path of least harm. Your invention could let soldiers hear their babies back home on nights when they feel like they have lost their will to go on, it could let the sick contact doctors who would’ve never realized their condition and allow their lives to be saved, it could let a worrying wife check on her husband.”

He thought her argument was sound, but there was one line that bothered him, it bothered him a lot.

“There is no path of no harm, where did you hear that?”

“Yes, I did hear it from The Darkness. She spoke to me at a moment of weakness, when I thought that all my killing was in vain, that it would’ve been better to save nobody, to hide in my village and pretend that nobody was suffering. I am going to tell you something, and I want you to really, really, think about it. Everyone is suffering, sometimes the difference between the loss of hope is the voice of a friend, I have seen people fall to despair when I know I could’ve saved them if I had just been there. I think about them, I think about the people who died because I didn’t leave yet, because I took another half a day to reach a village with a monster I didn’t even know about, I have seen children grieve their parents because I couldn’t be everywhere at once, because those people that are disconnected or trapped can’t call for help.

It is selfish of me, but I want you to finish what you are making. I said I wanted you to learn from my mistakes, but most importantly I don’t want to see someone who has a good heart fill up with regrets like mine has. Were it not for the right person saying the right words at the right time, I would’ve been swallowed up by despair, not everyone gets a god talking in their ear, sometimes it is just a friend.”

“I’m sorry.”

He hugged her and she returned it.

“A thousand I’m sorrys are worth less than just one thank you. So thank you, and I am sorry, I am a terrible counselor who wants you to do something you don’t want to.”

“No, you’ve said what you wanted to, that is your path, but now I can follow mine. I can’t shirk off the weight of their lives, but I can make it mean something. I’ll be selfish, I’ll work because I want my mom and dad to hear me every night, I want to hear my niece and my nephew, I want to catch up with an old friend.”

“Good, I know the weight you carry, and the weight that you will carry, you can be a selfish child sometimes, no one holds that weight forever without cracking eventually.”

Harlan had missed breakfast, their talk went on for longer than he expected, so he had to settle for the baked goods Mary kept with her. She said she took up baking as a hobby to deal with her stress.