《Artist's Nightmare》The will to live and kill
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I never thought I would get to a point in my life when human life would seem expendable to me. Just another asset. When I noticed Jack sitting in that room, I felt nothing but pure joy. But not the kind that one feels when one meets a long-lost friend. No, I was only happy because I knew how to use him. His appearance didn't strike me as something odd back then, even though it should've. The man looked like a homeless person. His stylish moustache was replaced by a rough beard. His hair was long and most likely hasn't been brushed in months. The skin was dry and dirty with no signs of recent washing. But the scariest part was his muscles. It seemed as if he had lost all of them. His arms were like thin little twigs, just ready to snap under even the softest breeze. Whether that was because of malnourishment or something else entirely, I couldn't tell, and to be completely honest, at that moment, I couldn't care less.
My hand reached out towards him. I wanted to say something, anything really, but I couldn't. Something strange was happening to me. It felt as if my skull would explode. It was a migraine so powerful that it made me fall to the ground with my hands desperately clutching my head. The pain only grew. It didn't take me long to realize that it wasn't my pain. It was the pain of everyone. Slowly, all the fragments down there were feeling the same exact pain. I couldn't stop it. I wanted to give them the order to withdraw, but there was simply nothing any of us could do. It was soul-crushing. At some point during this torment, it simply became too much. Moments later, I found myself lying on the ground in my little hideout, surrounded by more of my memories. The few that managed to survive.
"What happened? What's going on?" I asked, not even sure if I wanted to get up anymore.
"Something is going on down there. It's the air. It's... tainted," one of the fragments told me as he and his sibling were helping me back on my feet.
"What? Air? How can it be air? Does he control more than just the spikes? Have I been underestimating his abilities this whole time?" I had more questions than answers. This truly seemed like the worst-case scenario. If the Resident could do more than just conjure those strange thorns, then that would most likely mean the end.
"Is anyone still alive down there?" I asked my fragments.
"No, everyone died almost at the same time. And in the same way too. Something that caused a rapid deterioration of cells in their brains." Even when they explained it, it sounded no less terrifying. I quickly looked down and squinted my eyes at the Resident, miles and miles below me.
"Now, this, I have to admit, was brilliant," the creature spoke and began slowly clapping. "I thought you were somewhere here all this time. When I trashed the place, I hoped it would kill you, but you were still alive. So I dissolved some of my body in the wind, hoping that it would kill you along with those cheap knock-offs. But no. You are still alive. I know it. I know what a real death looks like. However, everything around us is infected. A single faint breath would kill you, yet you didn't die. I was so weirded out by it at first, I have to admit, but then I finally figured it out. With the ground full of my roots and the surface not safe, where else could you go, but up?" The Resident looked up into the sky and I instantly knew that this would be my end. All of his numerous eyes have been looking right at me.
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"RUN!" I screamed at my fragments as the creature on the ground started to raise its arm.
"Really clever. To hide in front of the star. Truly a masterpiece of a plan. Like hiding in a tiny lightbulb placed right in front of a massive flashlight. But that's over now. You have lost."
I quickly ran... somewhere. I can't even tell you where I was trying to go. The entire place was just a one-way transparent glowing box. It had no exit, yet I was so desperate to find it. The hands of one of my fragments pushed me aside. I felt their pain moments later. They screamed as a large dark thorn pierced their chest. It didn't take long and the entire place looked like swiss cheese. The thorns were tearing our hideout apart and there was nothing I could do. My mind was empty and the incoming pain of my dying brethren prevented me from thinking straight. Our fight was over. I knew that the moment I saw a dark pointy spike emerge from the ground and twist right back down towards me. My death was approaching at last. Or perhaps I should say "my death was approaching once again." Yet this time, it was different. Something inside me screamed. It was a voice so loud and powerful, even the Divine Creativity inside me could hear it. The shouting filled every corner of my consciousness with one last desperate wish - I want to live!!!
It was as if my arms moved on their own. Before the thorn could kill me, they reached out and clapped. The noise was one of those impressively loud claps that sound like popping a balloon. What happened next is difficult to imagine. I was suddenly under a tree. The birds were singing and the sun was high up in the sky, shining down without a single cloud that would stand in its way. For a moment, I thought this was my afterlife. A quick and painless death was behind me now and this was what awaited me - just a peaceful rest in nature. However, my own little idyl quickly faded when I noticed I wasn't alone in my paradise. A man's wail came from right beside me. The voice belonged to Jack. For some reason, he was there with me. We were lying there in the grass like two friends enjoying their summer holiday.
"What the fuck did you do?!" I heard the Resident shout. That was enough to quickly push me back into action. Finding the creature was not too hard. They were quite the distance away from us on a small, brightly-lit meadow. Judging by their frantic and sharp movements, by which they've been turning around, I would assume they were looking for me. Very quickly, I started to think about my next strategy, but my focus was stolen away by a much smaller living being. An insect, in fact. A tiny red butterfly with a blue, eye-like pattern on its wings landed on a flower only a couple of meters away from me. At that point, everything clicked. It was like that moment during final examinations at school. All your knowledge is lost. You know nothing and the teacher asks you a few questions. They try to help you but what you studied has all but disappeared. But then, out of nowhere, the teacher says that single magical word. You don't know what it is, but it reignites your memory. All the answers now suddenly start to spill out of you like a waterfall of information. For me, this feeling came with that single red butterfly.
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I recognized it. After all, it would be sad if I didn't. It was my own creation after all. They came from a very old world of mine - a story that ended in a great tragedy, which, however, as the insect's existence proved, hadn't happened yet. Suddenly, I knew everything. The power that I had in my hands all this time. As if my muse had found me once again, even in this god-forsaken place, ideas were flying out of my mind. It was only about putting them to practice.
"Careful now," I spoke several seconds later to get the Resident's attention. All the eyes quickly turned around to face me. I couldn't help but notice that most of them were closed now. Perhaps so much vision could exhaust even a Resident. The creature would probably do anything to just kill me right then and there, but it stopped very quickly when it noticed what was at stake.
I was holding jack close to my body. My left arm was nearly crushing his fragile body. He was trying to push me away, but it was as if I were wrestling a baby. Out of the fingers on my right hand emerged a small beam of pressurized water. The Resident knew it far too well. It was strong enough to cut right through his spikes. Therefore, it relayed the message very clearly when I put it close to Jack's neck.
"I see one sign of attack and he dies. Kill me, kill him. Will you?"
The creature was staring at me completely motionless. Only the smoke that was coming off of its body was still moving.
"Why him?" they asked, their voice satisfyingly quiet.
"Because I figured it out. You kept Jack safe during our confrontation in Sunwalley. The air got infected with parts of your own body, but he was kept safe. Oh, and by the way, don't try to infect me. I feel any sign of pain and he is dead. And you don't want that, do you? Because he's your precious toy. The one memento you no longer play with but still don't want to throw away. Isn't that right?"
"And what is Smarty to you?" they spoke once more. "You'd kill him if you were about to die, just to cause me suffering?"
"Without question."
"I see. So what do you propose then? I do not wish to abandon this world. But... This is not something you'd understand. Smarty doesn't run anymore. Everyone else does. Either that or they attack me senselessly. I try to communicate and they scream in panic. He doesn't."
"Of course not. He's so broken he can't scream anymore! You destroyed him!"
"And yet he was alive in my care. You come back and immediately wish to kill him."
"One life to save the rest of this world from you? Heck, even a thousand lives for that cause!"
"Interesting. What now then? Do you want to go back to our previous discussion? My offer still stands. You can still go back to the Void and live out the rest of your existence there."
"Discussion? Oh no, you've got it all wrong. Jack isn't a tool for discussion. He's a statement. You have caused pain and suffering to everyone and everything here. And for that, you will pay now."
"Are you sure you aren't talking about yourself?"
"Nice try. Do you see that tiny tower on that hill way back there?" I nodded towards a construct in the distance.
"Yes?"
"That is the tower of magister Jacinto. Right now, we are at the end of his novel. Everyone is expecting a happy ending, but I know what will happen. The final experiment will go wrong. The villain was right all along. The magister will destroy this whole planet in a massive explosion and eventually, cause a restart of the time loop that the entire book is based on. But I do wonder, what will happen to you?" I didn't wait around to hear the creature's answer. With a snap of my fingers, the scenery around us changed once again. I was now standing back in the remnants of Sunwalley.
I let Jack go and dropped him onto the ground. "Congratulations. You are free. Go wherever you want." With another quick snap, I brought myself back to the Resident's side. The beautiful nature from before was history. Only scorched rock remained. On the floor in front my me, I saw the terrifying creature of the Void. It was smaller now. Barely looked like a child. It was lying in a large puddle of orange foam, shivering and desperately holding onto a small cage of thorns.
"Heh, you've got resilience, I will tell you that, but this is the end for you." I came closer and crouched down to look into the creature's eyes. "The moment you attack, I'll snap. Turns out, this is what it means to be a God. The places I've written... I can visit them all. I can just snap my fingers and we are off on an adventure. But trust me when I tell you, I have written a LOT of books. The question is, how many do you think you can survive, huh? So how about we skip the travelling issues and I just toss you back into the Void you came from? Maybe after a few more organs donated to my cause by yours truly?"
The creature looked at me and stopped shaking. Suddenly, I saw a determination in its eyes like never before. It picked itself up from the ground, head held up.
"You won't stop now, will you? The possibilities at your fingertips warp your mind more than the Void ever could. Your powers will just continue to grow and develop. One day, you will realise that letting me go was a mistake. It might take years, but just like the Void brings us hunger for curiosity, time would bring you thirst for my blood. Even if I ran, you would one day come for me. When you're all-powerful and bored. So do your worst. I'm not leaving. Not now, nor ever. I'm willing to take on an arrogant God."
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