Listen to "sad beautiful tragedy" by Taylor swift.

"Getaway car" by Taylor swift.

"Elisabeth, I need you to breathe."

I felt my lungs burning as they trapped air inside. I tightly held onto my chest for life's sake and opened my mouth but I failed to inhale and exhale. My body was creating it's own furnace, and my mind was racing so fast that my head throbbed like it never before. But my heart, God! It was Savagely ripped out of my crumbling body the very moment I saw James's car cascading over that cliff. It never ached that deeply since the day I was born. It hurt so badly I could die from the pain.

"Betty, listen to me." Enos was holding my shoulder as we sat in the car. "Relax your shoulders and look at me."

I couldn't possibly.

My frame trembled in fear and horror as my legs betrayed me. I failed to move a muscle even though I so desperately wanted to runout that car. I couldn't will my body to do anything. All It managed to accomplish was shake violently as my world came crumbling down.

That cliff was deep.

Just that thought alone got me screaming on top my lungs as I let out a sharp cry of pure agony.

And then I began choking on air, failing to breathe completely. I felt the door being opened and Enos carrying me out of the car. The muscles of his arms squeezed my chest cage repeatedly until my body stabilized it's gas circulation while more tears streamed down my face.

The left part of my body was heavy, I could barely lift myself. My entire left arm was void of crude or fine touch. And I was compelled to leaning on my side as my knees hit the ground.

"Don't touch me," I warned Enos as he attempted to stop me from crawling onto the edge of that cliff. If I couldn't run or walk to James, I would crawl. It was as though my body was slowly paralyzing but I still pulled myself by my hands and knees, crawling all the way and ignoring the way gravel and rocks scratched my skin deeply.

My left arm eventually gave out. But I wouldn't let Enos anywhere near me to hold me back. I wanted to see if James survived that deadly fall. That was all I cared about. But with ever inch closer, my heart got weaker. I thought my soul was going to leave my body. And it was -if James was died.

Before I could make it any further, hungry roaring flames came bursting through the skies as James' car exploded with an overpowering magnitude . The force of it had me thrown far backwards that I landed on my side, crushing my head into a rock.

There was an intense stinging sensation on my forehead from the impact my temple made with the stone and my vision blurred as my side throbbed with pain. His name echoed from my mouth as I used my remaining strength to lift myself off the ground and limp my way towards him. I dreaded those fires but my mind didn't care to make sense that those flames could consume you.

I felt strong arms wrap around me, holding me back. "I won't let you kill yourself."

"Please let me go." I cried harder as I died inside. "I can't do this anymore. Let me go to him, Enos please let me go "

Did my heart know pain until then? I'd always thought I've hurt in the worst ways through out my life but I truly felt like a corpse in that moment.

I couldn't bare the Unbearable immense torture .

"May be he's down there. He might still be okay, let's go after him." I pleaded with Enos. "He's A-alive down there, you mu_st believe me." I stammered constantly, hiccuping each time I couldn't breathe properly. I found hope where there wasn't any and kept it. I wasn't losing him. Atleast not like this. He deserved better than this.

"Elisabeth, baby, you need to listen to me."

I shake my head for I wasn't being soothed. "You trust me, please. I know James is alive."

Enos held my face, "We should call an ambulance and the police."

"We save James first." I cried. "He is waiting for our help."

Enos had pity for me in his eyes. But that pity wasn't suppose to be meant for me. I was still hoping James wasn't gone. Pity is for those with no way back, those with out anything left, those who had ashes. But I had James and he was alive. I couldn't even pretend. I'd die if I lost him to this.

I could hear sirens from a far indicating police men and an helicopter above our heads as well. News flew faster in Georgia it seemed. I could even see ambulances speeding towards us. I figured our heist must've drawn the attention of the police.

_________

In my twenty years of life, I've expected and even anticipated some of the multiples of dreadful things that had happen to me, around me, beyond and above me, that hunted me in my sleep and even left me trapped in a never ending nightmare. That clouded my history and the memories I held so dearly.

But as I paced on the waiting halls of the hospital, a few miles away from the Georgia international airport, that's when I knew the world has a way of shocking you out of existence no matter how many lives you've lived, no matter how many things you've seen and people you've meet.

With blood tear soaked eyes, red crimson wet cheeks, lips quivering with convulsions and overwhelming grief, I stared at the ICU doors. I never felt more terrified of anything as much as then. I was too scared to go on and digest the aftermath of everything because I couldn't stop my mind from screaming mayhem into my soul and making me want to rip myself open. My heart was sore as it burnt.....it tore me apart.

I should've agreed to leave with him if it meant we wouldn't be in this situation. I'd rather he held me captive than for him to die. I'd rather he hurt me a millions times over than for him to be gone this way.

I could feel the mascara run as I raced with my conscious. All I was wishing was for James to survive the operation.

If we left then, we wouldn't be here right now, hanging on a life line, praying for a miracle, balancing on breaking branches as time moved incredibly slow.

I let my eyes focus on the wall clock. It's been five hours of waiting. Agonizing afflicting misery coursed through me as images of his SUV went falling over that cliff, the memory rained in my heavy mind like an attack on my wounded heart. The car bursting into flames as soon at it reached the ground. Exploding infront of me.

I could still recall April screaming out his name in absolute horror and the loud sirens of police cars arriving the scene. But the breaking of my pounding heart, the rush of hot blood in my veins and the dread in my shuttered spirit as I witnessed it, the way everything stopped, the way the bones of my soul screamed, I felt myself falling into that cliff as I witnessed hungry flames of gasoline fire and smoke fill the once clear blue skies.

It was as though my heart abandoned my body.

I never felt that kind of pain before. It pierced knives right into every inch of my body, it dragged me so deep under ground I could feel that pain digging mercilessly into my back and then waves of hurt paralysing my body.

I swear you could hear a hair pin drop, right when I felt the moment stop.

And then.....It was tear after tear, scream after scream, ache after ache, fear after fear, never ending treacherous fear.

"Your fault, ungrateful selfish woman, you did this." I remember April tearing dry, tossing blame in pure outrage, hatred, anger for me. She spiralled out of control. Her knees hit the ground as she cried her heart out for him, crushing down a midst the red and darkness that covered the air.

I held my heart against my sleeves as I prayed. I begged God, to do something.

As images of the memory of the days and weeks that passed invaded my senses, I couldn't help but think back to when everything was just right. Back to when he was still breathing perfectly and not surrounded with surgeons struggling to keep him alive, breathing on corrupted lungs, bleeding out, fighting for another chance to open his deep green eyes.

Back to when he was the only man in my life.

The only man my desperate lonely abused eyes saw.

Back to when it wasn't this complicated.

Back to when the world was under our feet.

______________________

-

Nothing good starts in a getaway car.