Listen to "Tears ricochet" by Taylor swift.

Our bodies still soaked in hot streaming drops of water, we stepped out of the shower. "Are you sure you're ready for this? There's still room to fix things with all of them."

I looked at Enos, "The room to make amends has always been present. They were never ready to take the leap." He took in my words and processed them before saying, "None of this makes you happy. Leaving Georgia this way doesn't make you happy Betty."

"Though it makes me feel miserable, it doesn't mean that this isn't the right decision." I said to him. " This family is already broken. What's there to hold on to? Whether or not I stay, I'll still have to leave, they'll keep on hiding from the authorities and I'll never see my mother again. It's over Enos. There's nothing left."

I swallowed my own words and stepped out of the bathroom.

Enos came to sit beside me on bed, "We still have another hour to get ready for the flight." His eyes glanced at the wall clock. "Good thing I listened to you and packed everything in the morning. We would've run out of time if we'd done it now."

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. I felt his hand embracing my back, "It'll be alright. You'll be alright."

I let his words sink in.

"I'll be alright." I've been having a hard time adjusting to the voices in my head. Sometimes I'm afraid they won't ever go away. I hold dearly any word of encouragement I receive because I know I'm one step closer to giving it all up. Trying to make it through the nights, trying to close my eyes without seeing myself in the past, trying not to imagine a world were I no longer exist. This is me trying.

In due time, we had our bags stuffed in the car that Enos had rented out so we'd get comfortable for the day we left. The roads were empty that Sunday evening as we drove away. My own mind memorizing the beautiful scenery of the open fields as we road by them one last time. The music on the radio was serene, his hands on the wheels and eyes on the road. I thought of a new life. Atleast another one, once again. I can hardly recall the number of times I've had to start over and over again. But life must go on even for the stories that won't ever be told.

"Fuck," I heard Enos curse as his eyes gazed the rear view mirror.

"Is there a problem?" I adjusted my line of vision to behind us. Lifting myself on the seat slightly and allowing my eyes to see the back of our car. It was a breath chocking sight. My eyes opened wider as I felt that familiar beating of my heart whenever my mind recognized........ James. The little amount of energy left in me drastically drained. They say all's well that ends well, but I'm in a new hell everytime James double crosses my life. I couldn't help my weakness nor my shock. But most of all, I couldn't help my defeat.

I let my eyes linger at the speeding SUV behind us until I felt our own car taking speed. I quickly looked back at Enos. His hands have never held anything tighter than how he held the steering wheel, his eyes glued at the road ahead as his foot stirred up gas. He cursed again, and again, and again. He was inflamed, outraged.

"Enos..."

"Don't," The command in his voice knocked my attempts away. This wasn't our country. That wasn't the right speed. Red flags waved by my eyes as I witnessed the car speed escalating to great degrees. And James, he wasn't slowing down either. Infact, he was only steering faster.

Despite my inability to process that James was chasing after me, I was desperately trying to stabilize my rapid beating heart from the sight of him not letting me go........ once again. Coupled with the fear of triggering trouble with the police for starting a heist my thoughts weren't coherent with my body's ability to withstand pressure. I was either having a panic attack, or a stroke. Or that's just how everything felt around me.

I couldn't control Enos.

I was in no position to stop James.

But whether or not these cars slowed down From the unhealthy speed of which they soniced or even halted for that matter, it wasn't going to end well either way.

"Is this what you wanted?" Enos questioned with nothing but malice. "You have me by my throat and yet James comes along everytime to remind me that you won't ever be mine."

"Thats not what I wanted-"

He punched the wheel, "Why are you lying to me? For Christ sake, woman, please stop fucking lying to me."

The shaking in my voice did not go unnoticed but he ignored it, "I'm not lying to you." He kept on driving. "I'm scared." I couldn't help it. "Please slow down Enos we could crush."

He only went faster and faster. "Aren't we already crushing Betty? Or don't you fucking see that. Don't you see how already broken we are? What must I do? What the fuck must I do for this bullshit to end? You aren't the only one hurting Elisabeth so stop talking."

I held back tears as my veins dilated, my heart was beating on my face. And his words were sharper than a knife. "You wanted to speak Elisabeth! Then SPEAK."

I found it hard to breathe.

"Speak god DAMN IT. Go ahead and defend yourself." He wasn't lowering his voice and it rang in my ears. "We're going round in circles. You let him hurt you and I'll be there to fix the pieces of the mess he made. Just yesterday you could barely lift your hand and now..... What's next? You gonna let him end us and we'll mend each other in heaven?"

It has never been harder to speak as in that second. There was raw pain in his voice, fresh aching pain and I put it there. But what do you do when a good man hurts you and you know you hurt him too?

"I never meant for this to happen." I felt the warm shedding of tears.

"Don't you dare cry." He warned as my pleas meant nothing to him. For the first time Enos wasn't reaching out. That's when I knew he had enough.

And James, he was the devil in the details once again.

I was now standing between two men and their fury. And in that world, I had zero control of anything.

The fields were eventually separated from the road by a cliff. It was wide, massive than any cliff I'd seen. The sunset gave an orange hue, like fire in the seems. I took deep breaths to be able to talk.

"Stop the car,"

"Why? So you can go running to your lover."

Oh Lord help me!....... "So we don't die. James isn't my lover you know that. You need to calm down, please."

"Calm down? Calm down? Is that not what I've always done Betty? Kept it all good for you so you don't break. But what have you done? Must a man bleed for you to know he'd go to hell and back for you."

"I'm not asking you to bleed? Just stop the car." I felt more and more of my fight draining. My head hurt Terribly and my eyes burned.

"You should've seen the look in your eyes the moment you saw him behind us so don't you dare act like you're not with me because I'm your safest option."

"What? You know that's not true. You are not a second choice."

"."

And I was drowning in a sinking ship. He never raised his voice at me. Not with that look in his face. Not with that kind of rage coursing his blood as he believed every word he spoke.

"You know our history has its own separate roots Enos." I choked on tears.

"And those roots are shut to hell now don't you think! The second you let that man touch you again." His eyes were red, and the orbs a darker blue.

I held my chest in fear of what he meant to mean when he implied those roots are as good as over. "Don't be cruel." I begged.

"We both know who the cruel one is between the two us Betty." He stepped on the fuel and increased his speed. My nails dug into the leather of the passagers seat as I tried to bare the aching in my chest. This argument was taking a turn for the worse.

"So you want me to die with you in this damn car? Is that it Enos? You loath me so much to want to kill us?"

"Oh I wish that I had a single nerve in my body that was even slightly capable of hating you. But my love for you is a fucking curse Elisabeth. I can't get rid of it and I don't want to get rid of it. God! May be I even enjoy your lies when you beg me to make love to you every night as you whisper I love you too."

Heaven knows I wasn't lying to him.

The love I have for Enos is not the kind I'm used to feeling for any other person. I've only ever felt it with him. It has no darkness, clean history. It's simpler and reviving. It's sweeter than it can be bitter. You get addicted to the peace and the stability and the promise of a future. The things I've lacked in my life but with him they're ever flourishing.

But James. His love is consuming. With his love there comes hurt just as intense as the pleasure. It chokes me up and I hate it. The kind of love with neither balance nor future. It sucks you dry and leaves you high. And I've never felt this kind of love with anyone else either. But unlike anything I've ever felt I want to throw this love away. As much as it's deeper than anything I've ever known, it's more painful still.

"I wasn't whispering lies to you."

"But why did they feel that way? Tell me Betty, my love, TELL ME! FUCKING SAY IT."

"I DON'T KNOW. I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA." I yelled back, lips quivering.

Enos wasn't listening to me. It's as though I wasn't even there. The road had many sharp turns and I closed my eyes each time I heard the wheels battle with the friction it created with the road as the car cut corner. Enos has always been an excellent driver. He knew the roads well and good but I knew how badly anger could cloud a man's judgement. How it could blur our focus. But I prayed with my twisted soul that we wouldn't go cascading down that cliff.

The irony of it was, as sharp as the turns where, they weren't sharper that the sound that James's wheels created with the road right before his car went falling through the cliff.

Enos hit the breaks immediately bringing our car into a halt.

It stopped.

My heart stopped.

Everything stopped the moment James' car rolled down the cliff.

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